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(Florida Today) Followup Swinger's club shut down; not because it's a swinger's club, but because it's a commercial establishment in a residential area   (floridatoday.com) divider line 96
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What are these goddamn animals 2008-04-26 12:47:37 PM  
Zowned.

 
Amigajoe [TotalFark] 2008-04-26 12:48:00 PM  
Green with no comments? Hmmmm...

 
gc.c 2008-04-26 12:48:04 PM  
so much for the Florida tag trumps all other tags rule I guess huh subby?

 
Petulant Dwarf 2008-04-26 12:50:03 PM  
What rule?

 
Heroic Poser 2008-04-26 12:51:28 PM  
such as Friday's scheduled "Naughty Girls, Ice Cream and High Heels Social."

So no tea, right?

Friend of mine used to ok licenses for the city. The week he was gone a porno shop opened near a park and 5 blocks from a school, which a no-no around here.
When he came in to see who screwed up, he noticed that where the license asked what the business was, it didn't say porn or adult shop, it said "general mercantile" and let through without an investigation.
I believe he fired two people that day.

 
arte1953 2008-04-26 12:51:38 PM  
It's a nifty solution from the city's point of view.

 
CaptainBeer 2008-04-26 12:53:13 PM  
Take it easy, Voltaire.

 
JuventinaDJ 2008-04-26 12:53:16 PM  
"If the operation does not cease within the next 15 days, the violation will be referred to club the city attorney's (office) for further action."

Well at least the baby seals are getting a breather.

/way to go, editors!

 
CruJones 2008-04-26 12:54:39 PM  
why is this a story? Seems pretty cut and dry. They wouldn't let you open a book store there either. Residential is residential.

 
kliq 2008-04-26 12:55:03 PM  
This place is dead anyway.

 
Cerebral Ballsy [TotalFark] 2008-04-26 12:55:19 PM  
Uh, it's not a commercial business if it doesn't take in any earnings.. and "donations" don't count. I went to the Hunt Club website when the first article was posted and the city has no grounds here. They do not operate as a business, they operate as a social gathering.

 
The Martintuckian 2008-04-26 12:56:36 PM  
Guess I have to make some new plans for tonight.

 
JuventinaDJ 2008-04-26 12:57:20 PM  
Heroic Poser: The week he was gone a porno shop opened near a park and 5 blocks from a school, which a no-no around here.

Won't somebody PLEASE think of the children?!?!

 
uberklod 2008-04-26 12:59:02 PM  
Same thing happened in my neighbourhood. A swinger's club wasn't allowed to open because there weren't quite enough parking stalls.

/Not a swinger.

 
Quantumbunny 2008-04-26 01:02:36 PM  
Cerebral Ballsy: Uh, it's not a commercial business if it doesn't take in any earnings.. and "donations" don't count. I went to the Hunt Club website when the first article was posted and the city has no grounds here. They do not operate as a business, they operate as a social gathering.

The original article contained a quote from one of the law enforcement douche nozzles that said they were looking for anything which they could use. A fairly standard nothing wrong here, but we don't like it so we are damn well going to find something. Luckily we have a court system and they will have to prove their case now.

Odds are this sex club isn't a business, but if they are skirting rules by supplying alcohol or sex toys paid for by "donations" offsite, there may be a sales case here where they are not zoned correctly. It's also possible they are not paying sales tax to the city for these sales. If these are "prizes" from the "donations", you still have to file those as the receiver, so essentially the city isn't getting its money one way or the other.

 
MonkeyBoy666 2008-04-26 01:04:03 PM  
Heroic Poser: The week he was gone a porno shop opened near a park and 5 blocks from a school, which a no-no around here.

5 blocks from a school, eh, I can kind of see why, don't want kids walking past (and in) a porno store. Sure, whatever stops the mad mothers from organizing (sex is teh bad!).

But a park? What?! Are they afraid someone's going to buy a love doll, run into the park, blow it up, and start humping it on a bench?

 
some attorney 2008-04-26 01:04:14 PM  
Cerebral Ballsy: Uh, it's not a commercial business if it doesn't take in any earnings.. and "donations" don't count. I went to the Hunt Club website when the first article was posted and the city has no grounds here. They do not operate as a business, they operate as a social gathering.

Because if you advertise and take in money for services and call it a "donation" it literally can't be anything else? Prostitutes have tried this angle and fail miserably. Do you really think that if the city attorney goes after them, a judge will say, Gee, they call it a donation, so that must be okay. This ranks up there with asking, "Are you a cop? Because if you're a cop, you have to tell me."

 
reddsharkk 2008-04-26 01:04:36 PM  
Club in question?

www.hendricksmn.com

 
Vacaboi 2008-04-26 01:05:20 PM  
I thank the braving zoning officials. God, how I would hate to have a store within walking distance of my house. How would I ever justify using my car to get two items at the store? Won't anyone think of OPEC?

/Okay. You're not doing grocery shopping at a swinger's club. But, still.

 
Random Reality Check 2008-04-26 01:06:34 PM  
CruJones: why is this a story? Seems pretty cut and dry. They wouldn't let you open a book store there either. Residential is residential.

And if you decide to have a Fourth of July party at your house, you'd better not allow
anyone to bring anything that might be construed as a donation - you know like food.

 
WALMART.saves 2008-04-26 01:07:18 PM  
"Sex clubs"?

I thought they were called "Herpes Distribution Centers"?

 
skinink 2008-04-26 01:07:20 PM  
Was the Hunt Club's founder named Mike Hunt?

 
jst3p 2008-04-26 01:07:25 PM  
some attorney: Cerebral Ballsy: Uh, it's not a commercial business if it doesn't take in any earnings.. and "donations" don't count. I went to the Hunt Club website when the first article was posted and the city has no grounds here. They do not operate as a business, they operate as a social gathering.

Because if you advertise and take in money for services and call it a "donation" it literally can't be anything else? Prostitutes have tried this angle and fail miserably. Do you really think that if the city attorney goes after them, a judge will say, Gee, they call it a donation, so that must be okay. This ranks up there with asking, "Are you a cop? Because if you're a cop, you have to tell me."


This is true, you can call it whatever you want, it is still income. And if the city doesn't like what you are doing, even if you are in the right you better be willing to go to war constantly.

 
GreasyPornStar 2008-04-26 01:10:28 PM  
/facepalm

the comments on the article site are silly.

it is a business, they are collecting money for it, looking for investors, wether or not they are actually turning a profit is irrelevant. new businesses dont normally start turning profit til at least a year.

and yes i would get pissed if i lived in a area that had a party house that filled up the street with cars every week. especially if they were collecting money for it. the reason residential areas do not have that kinda parking space is because this crap is not supposed to be going on frequently. commercial zones have plenty of parking, and as far as noise and such its much more tolerable since there is no expectation of being able to rest peacefully in a commercial zone. if they are partying all the time right next door, you dont get to sleep easily.

yes my neighbours throw parties sometimes and keep me up at night, but it sure as hell isnt every week, so its tolerable. the couple in the article were doing multiple nights a week until recently scaled it back to once a week, im betting it was right around the time their neighbours started biatching about the constant disruptions. you dont get the city breathing down your neck and issuing orders to stop you without people filing complaints. so the complaints rolled in, they got warnings, they scaled it back to once a week so that when the shiat hits the fan they can play the victim and "its only one night a week".

 
jst3p 2008-04-26 01:12:30 PM  
DulceEtDecorumEst: The real problem with this is what most swingers look like. They are, with RARE exceptions, fat people in their 40s and 50s. If they were attractive, they would just cheat on their wives/husbands like normal folk do.

I didn't think your trolling could get neither more obvious nor more ignorant and here you go proving me wrong by doing both.

Quite the overachiever.

 
troppo gonzo 2008-04-26 01:18:12 PM  
i215.photobucket.com

 
ripple123 2008-04-26 01:21:37 PM  
NOT YOURS
img181.exs.cx

 
Frank N Stein 2008-04-26 01:21:57 PM  
jst3p: DulceEtDecorumEst: The real problem with this is what most swingers look like. They are, with RARE exceptions, fat people in their 40s and 50s. If they were attractive, they would just cheat on their wives/husbands like normal folk do.

I didn't think your trolling could get neither more obvious nor more ignorant and here you go proving me wrong by doing both.

Quite the overachiever.


I thought that he was pretty accurate with that assessment.

 
Eegah 2008-04-26 01:22:21 PM  
As long as they apply the law equally and shut down all house parties where people bring food or drinks or chip in for pizza, no problem.

/Could tithing in churches be considered forcing payment for services, and cause churches to lose their non-profit status? ;)

 
Jacobin 2008-04-26 01:23:54 PM  
Do I get a refund of my dues?

 
ChubbyTiger 2008-04-26 01:25:37 PM  
Frank N Stein: jst3p: DulceEtDecorumEst: The real problem with this is what most swingers look like. They are, with RARE exceptions, fat people in their 40s and 50s. If they were attractive, they would just cheat on their wives/husbands like normal folk do.

I didn't think your trolling could get neither more obvious nor more ignorant and here you go proving me wrong by doing both.

Quite the overachiever.

I thought that he was pretty accurate with that assessment.


As did I. Where did he go wrong?

 
jst3p 2008-04-26 01:28:38 PM  
ChubbyTiger: Frank N Stein: jst3p: DulceEtDecorumEst: The real problem with this is what most swingers look like. They are, with RARE exceptions, fat people in their 40s and 50s. If they were attractive, they would just cheat on their wives/husbands like normal folk do.

I didn't think your trolling could get neither more obvious nor more ignorant and here you go proving me wrong by doing both.

Quite the overachiever.

I thought that he was pretty accurate with that assessment.

As did I. Where did he go wrong?


How many swingers do you know? I know a couple and they have shown me pictures from their events (SFW pictures). While I am not wired that way, I don't have it in me to "share", I will say the above assesment is not at all accurate. Maybe it was in the 70's but not from what I have seen.

 
Ihaveanevilparrot 2008-04-26 01:28:50 PM  
The club advertises itself on a Web site.


The Web site advertises regular, weekly gatherings


I still don't get how it's a business.

Lots of clubs and organizations have a website (which does not mean advertising), and lots of their websites list their weekly gatherings. Many organizations also ask for donations or membership fees to go towards buying stuff for the gatherings. Hell, CHURCHES have websites "advertising" weekly gatherings and they often ask for donations, are they considered commercial businesses now?

I understand that the law may be vague enough to be used to target certain people, but I just don't see how they can say they're a commercial business because they have a website and advertise weekly gatherings. Seems kind of dumb.

 
Ihaveanevilparrot 2008-04-26 01:31:57 PM  
jst3p: ChubbyTiger: Frank N Stein: jst3p: DulceEtDecorumEst: The real problem with this is what most swingers look like. They are, with RARE exceptions, fat people in their 40s and 50s. If they were attractive, they would just cheat on their wives/husbands like normal folk do.

I didn't think your trolling could get neither more obvious nor more ignorant and here you go proving me wrong by doing both.

Quite the overachiever.

I thought that he was pretty accurate with that assessment.

As did I. Where did he go wrong?

How many swingers do you know? I know a couple and they have shown me pictures from their events (SFW pictures). While I am not wired that way, I don't have it in me to "share", I will say the above assesment is not at all accurate. Maybe it was in the 70's but not from what I have seen.


Um, I think the problem they're having is that MOST people are are overweight and just average looking. This isn't more common among swingers or something, but most swingers aren't going to be skinny and attractive, since most clubs and most other ACTUAL swingers don't descriminate against people based on whether they fit strict physical standards.
There are some clubs that actually do have standards on this kind of stuff though, and not all swingers are fat or ugly.
Believe it or not some couples are just into playing around with other people, and not everyone goes behind their spouses back to fark other people just because they're attractive.

 
CruJones 2008-04-26 01:32:16 PM  
Churches and such have to have tax-exempt certificates and such to not be taxed, etc, on their donations. They still have licenses and things. Also, you REALLY think this place would let everyone in if they don't pay the suggested donation?

 
CruJones 2008-04-26 01:33:48 PM  
jst3p: ChubbyTiger: Frank N Stein: jst3p: DulceEtDecorumEst: The real problem with this is what most swingers look like. They are, with RARE exceptions, fat people in their 40s and 50s. If they were attractive, they would just cheat on their wives/husbands like normal folk do.

I didn't think your trolling could get neither more obvious nor more ignorant and here you go proving me wrong by doing both.

Quite the overachiever.

I thought that he was pretty accurate with that assessment.

As did I. Where did he go wrong?

How many swingers do you know? I know a couple and they have shown me pictures from their events (SFW pictures). While I am not wired that way, I don't have it in me to "share", I will say the above assesment is not at all accurate. Maybe it was in the 70's but not from what I have seen.


That's odd, because the number one rule at most swingers clubs is "No Cameras". At least in this part of the country.

 
troppo gonzo 2008-04-26 01:34:11 PM  
Jr Swingers Club Circa 1967

i215.photobucket.com

 
Solty Dog 2008-04-26 01:34:12 PM  
And yet the LARPers are allowed to run freely. There is no justice.

 
anonimo 2008-04-26 01:37:01 PM  
jst3p: How many swingers do you know? I know a couple and they have shown me pictures from their events (SFW pictures). While I am not wired that way, I don't have it in me to "share", I will say the above assesment is not at all accurate. Maybe it was in the 70's but not from what I have seen.

Oh boo friggen hoo.. Some's pissing on someone else's alternative lifestyle and your panties are in wad.

Swingers are fat, fat, fatty McFattersons. Fat.

 
jst3p 2008-04-26 01:38:25 PM  
CruJones: That's odd, because the number one rule at most swingers clubs is "No Cameras". At least in this part of the country.


Hmmmm, like I said I only know the one couple and all the pics were SFW, I will ask them about this.

 
Superjew 2008-04-26 01:40:06 PM  
Eegah As long as they apply the law equally and shut down all house parties where people bring food or drinks or chip in for pizza, no problem.

Way to ignore the underlying principle which has been coherently presented multiple times, princess.

/did you make that IQ yourself, or did steal it from a retarded kid?

 
Cyburbia 2008-04-26 01:41:54 PM  
www.imagepup.com

www.imagepup.com

 
Eegah 2008-04-26 01:48:46 PM  
Superjew

Way to ignore the underlying principle which has been coherently presented multiple times, princess.

/did you make that IQ yourself, or did steal it from a retarded kid?


What an excellent retort
/for a second grader
//ad hominem much?

 
Begoggle 2008-04-26 01:53:04 PM  
I don't see how this kind of "club" can really exist.
Odds are high that most of the swingers are not like hot porn stars, but rather old and fat. There will be personality conflicts.
Most of the dudes don't want other dudes around.
It seems like just finding a hot person to have sex with the old fashioned way is best.

 
wildcatfan82 2008-04-26 01:57:50 PM  
Yes, I'm sure that's the only reason it was brought down.

Also, Al Capone was arrested, not for murder, extortion, racketeering, but because he didn't pay taxes on all of those activities.

 
Pruritic Perineum 2008-04-26 02:04:14 PM  
FTA:
"If the operation does not cease within the next 15 days, the violation will be referred to club the city attorney's (office) for further action."

Sounds to me like the city attorney needs a good clubbin'.

 
Cerebral Ballsy [TotalFark] 2008-04-26 02:05:25 PM  
some attorney: Cerebral Ballsy: Uh, it's not a commercial business if it doesn't take in any earnings.. and "donations" don't count. I went to the Hunt Club website when the first article was posted and the city has no grounds here. They do not operate as a business, they operate as a social gathering.

Because if you advertise and take in money for services and call it a "donation" it literally can't be anything else? Prostitutes have tried this angle and fail miserably. Do you really think that if the city attorney goes after them, a judge will say, Gee, they call it a donation, so that must be okay. This ranks up there with asking, "Are you a cop? Because if you're a cop, you have to tell me."


That's why they do it. I do it too.. when I work a site (as a caricaturist) that will not allow me to sell the products, people can leave a donation.

The key is the donation is optional, and NO I don't have to report it to the city and no I don't get a license for it.

You can try all you want but the people have a right to assemble. If there is no local law against straight sex with multiple partners, they ought to give it up now. Some lawyer will probably pick this one up just for the publicity and satisfaction of crushing some tightassed dogoo.

And no, serving liquor with donation money is not "selling liquor". How many college kids go out and buy beer with pooled money at a party? They can try any ridiculous angle they want here, but it's bullsh*t. Just about the only one here who can really do anything is the landlord: he might have the right to refuse renew the lease.

I doubt these people make much money with their little lifestyle parties.

 
kidsizedcoffin 2008-04-26 02:06:27 PM  
Solty Dog: And yet the LARPers are allowed to run freely. There is no justice.

I say we make a stand, convene a grand jury, and go after those damn LARPers, they've had it easy for too long!

 
GreasyPornStar 2008-04-26 02:10:25 PM  
Ihaveanevilparrot: The club advertises itself on a Web site.


The Web site advertises regular, weekly gatherings

I still don't get how it's a business.

Lots of clubs and organizations have a website (which does not mean advertising), and lots of their websites list their weekly gatherings. Many organizations also ask for donations or membership fees to go towards buying stuff for the gatherings. Hell, CHURCHES have websites "advertising" weekly gatherings and they often ask for donations, are they considered commercial businesses now?

I understand that the law may be vague enough to be used to target certain people, but I just don't see how they can say they're a commercial business because they have a website and advertise weekly gatherings. Seems kind of dumb.


yes actually churches are considered businesses. and have you ever seen a church without a proper parking lot? its about the zoning.

these parties block off the street with parked cars. im sorry but what if i want to have a friend over? and as i mentioned before, they only recently pulled it back to once a week, right about when people started complaining.

 
Sugarloafer 2008-04-26 02:21:02 PM  
As someone that has been to Red Rooster and had a blast, I have to say that this whole "swingers are ugly and fat" thing. WRONG! Also, there is an adult bookstore 1 block away from my kid's high school. Not terribly happy about it, but it's been there far longer than I can remember. It's also 5 blocks from the nearest elementary school. So the lesson for today is that not all swingers are fugly (sorry if that's been your experience) and pron shops in the community don't always impact the children.

 
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