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(TheSpec.com) Obvious Future water wars between U.S. and Canada are inevitable, and we're not talking SuperSoakers, folks   (thespec.com) divider line 409
More: Obvious  
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6278 clicks; posted to Geek » on 25 Apr 2008 at 6:33 AM   |  Make this a Fark FavoriteFavorite    |   share: Share on OMGTWITTER WEB2.0share on StumbleUponshare on Facebook  more»   |    Get this fabulous T-Shirt and impress the methane out of your friends! shirt it!

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thisispete [TotalFark] 2008-04-25 06:55:19 AM  
Wouldn't desalinization plants along the coastline and piping it inland be a cheaper and less bloody option?

Between this and American claims on regarding the Northwest Passage, relations could definitely turn for the worse.

 
moops 2008-04-25 06:55:59 AM  
The day that states not in the Great Lakes basin make a grab for Great lakes water is the day I start making bombs.

/Michigan native
//No you can't have 1/5 of the world's fresh water
///not yours

 
CrazyCarl864 2008-04-25 06:56:05 AM  
Insta-green? Now that's a stabin.

 
TMBGfreak 2008-04-25 06:58:38 AM  
I'm not your buddy, guy.

 
Dialectic 2008-04-25 07:00:37 AM  
I am going to practice my future anti-war chant:

No Blood For Water. No Blood For Water.
No Blood For Water!

 
lilplatinum [TotalFark] 2008-04-25 07:03:11 AM  
TMBGfreak: I'm not your buddy, guy.

I'm not your guy, friend..

 
Phil Moskowitz 2008-04-25 07:03:21 AM  
Time to solve your own goddamn problems at home or BUY what you need. If it's not for sale, tough shiat. If you keep going down the route of lazy bellicosity someone is going to eat a nuke.

 
benlonghair [TotalFark] 2008-04-25 07:11:35 AM  
You had me at the 'war with Canada' part, subby.

 
Smellvin 2008-04-25 07:13:38 AM  
I call king of British Colombia (to be renamed to Neatoland) when we annex Canada.

 
1000Monkeys 2008-04-25 07:14:31 AM  
Imagine if tap water reached $4/gallon...

 
imprisoned 2008-04-25 07:15:14 AM  
As someone who lives in a desalination-dependent country, it's not that simple a solution, because they cost a fortune in energy needs.

But as far as water wars are concerned, the wars for oil could look like playground disputes compared to potential wars for water. I'd say it already is a major issue behind the whole Israel/Palestine saga.

 
Tenebreux 2008-04-25 07:24:21 AM  
Sigh. Is Canada going to have to set fire to the White House again?

 
0Icky0 2008-04-25 07:31:44 AM  
lolmao666: You have a freaking ocean just beside you, why don't you pump that water to water your freaking lawn that no one gives a rat ass about?

Let me guess. Your thumbs are a brownish shade of grey.

 
BilltheThrill 2008-04-25 07:35:39 AM  
I have the perfect strategy...

Deploy Operation Human Shield!

www.radioopensource.org

 
Smellvin 2008-04-25 07:35:58 AM  
Tenebreux: Sigh. Is Canada going to have to set fire to the White House again?

That was the British. Stop trying to take credit for it. Just for that, when we put all the Canadians in concentration camps we're NOT going to separate out the Quebecers (rather than doing the humane thing and just ethnically cleansing them off the bat). That's right! They'll all be mixed in with the rest of you, so you'll have to live and labor in close quarters with them (even the mimes)! Mwahahahahaha!

 
Deadite 2008-04-25 07:37:02 AM  
moops: Here's a picture from a state that chronically complains it doesn't have enough water, Arizona:



"Wahhh, we don't have enough water to keep our St. Augustine sod moist! It's not fair! We need to siphon off the Great Lakes!"


I blame the damn snow birds who just have to have farking golf courses, fountains, and other shiat that just wastes water so they can die warm. They should just spend the money in their own state on gasoline and light themselves on fire, saves water and makes sure they won't come back as zombies. At least when Arizona finally runs out of water and becomes a waste land where nothing can live, thanks to them, it'll help plug up the border. Since I doubt coyotes can haul enough people, gas, food, and water to make it far enough north and still be worth it moneywise.

 
Cauchy_Riemann_equations 2008-04-25 07:48:49 AM  
Yea? What military do our neighbors of the north plan to use to repel invaders?

 
Oakenshield 2008-04-25 08:00:00 AM  
The future is only as inevitable as present day morons make it.

oh...

 
ptelg 2008-04-25 08:03:04 AM  
I'll fight on the side of Canada, I'll be the Army of One that will repel the American agressors.

I'm sure we can come to a peaceful solution.

/The Russians claim the NW Passage as well
//WTF do we want with the NW Passage? Let Canada claim it and patrol it.

 
VRaptor117 2008-04-25 08:05:45 AM  
lilplatinum: TMBGfreak: I'm not your buddy, guy.

I'm not your guy, friend..


He's not your friend, buddy.

/WGA
//World Canadian Bureau

 
unexplained bacon 2008-04-25 08:09:24 AM  
no more lush lawns and golf courses in the desert.

 
Krymson Tyde 2008-04-25 08:10:56 AM  
We should've taken those bastards back in 1812.

 
Ex Parte Gilligan 2008-04-25 08:20:07 AM  
Smellvin: I call king of British Colombia (to be renamed to Neatoland) when we annex Canada.

Let me know the immigration procedures, King Smellvin.

 
Dubya's_Coke_Dealer 2008-04-25 08:24:36 AM  
You dam libtards, this is just a bunch of fear-mongering. We build what we want where we want and if we need someone else's resources to have the project make sense, we're just gonna bribe the the officials to take 'em.

It's not YOUR water. It's EVERYONE's. Just because your rivers will dry up, it's no big deal because we NEED, for the ECONOMY's sake, to grow and grow and grow and grow forever, and we really need to build houses with giant lawns out in the desert, otherwise investors will lose money and that's bad for the econmomy...

 
0Icky0 2008-04-25 08:24:47 AM  
Ha ha. It's pissing down here.

I'll send you a bottle for a pound of bacon.

 
Spindle 2008-04-25 08:25:52 AM  
I'd imagine that long before America starts shooting at Canada over water rights, the rest of the world will be aflame with every other region's water wars.

moops: "Wahhh, we don't have enough water to keep our St. Augustine sod moist! It's not fair! We need to siphon off the Great Lakes!"

Watering lawns in the desert is bad enough, but I'd also be curious to know how many flower nurseries there are in the area. It's a industry that sucks down water, produces something that rots quickly, and has no intrinsic value beyond looking pretty for a few days.

 
SpiderQueenDemon 2008-04-25 08:27:58 AM  
Am I the only one that would totally love an America-Canada SuperSoaker match? Seriously. We could both teams declare national holidays at the same time, open the borders and everyone go play tag.

It wouldn't actually do or solve anything, but the rest of the world would be so damn freaked out no NAFTA nation would have to fight a real war for 20 years.

 
TheBitterest [TotalFark] 2008-04-25 08:28:28 AM  
Dear Arizona, Utah, Nevada, New Mexico and California,

Thirsty? Don't live in the farking desert.

Sincerely,

Michigan, Minnesota, Wisconsin, Ohio, Indiana, New York

They could try a pipeline down there. Might be hard to keep it from exploding all the time.

 
Skleenar 2008-04-25 08:34:03 AM  
They'll welcome us with Molson and round bacon.

Actually, we could avoid the whole thing by conserving water:

img516.imageshack.us

Today, the city of Seattle uses less water than it did in 1965, with a much higher population and a growing economy.

It's not that hard, and there are opportunities everywhere you look.

 
OldManDownDRoad 2008-04-25 08:38:15 AM  
Deadite: I blame the damn snow birds who just have to have farking golf courses, fountains, and other shiat that just wastes water so they can die warm.

You and me both, brother. It's why NC has a water crisis right now - and the imported yuppies are spending $5-$10k to have wells drilled in their yard so they can continue to water their non-native plants after the city clamped down on non-essential use of water.

Apparently, water from a well comes from some special place and doesn't have any impact on the water table.

Another sign of lunacy is the growing battle between NC and VA over water from the various rivers and reservoirs along the border. A lot of that water is being shipped to the Outer Banks to grow lawn sod and golf courses over sand.

There's even talk of expanding the water line down to Hatteras so they can build a golf course at Cape Point.

 
Saiga410 2008-04-25 08:39:52 AM  
It occurred to us that there wouldn't BE water wars, if you people would LIVE WHERE THE WATER IS! YOU LIVE IN A DESERT! YOU LIVE IN A FARKN DESERT! NOTHING GROWS OUT HERE! NOTHING'S GONNA GROW OUT HERE! YOU SEE THIS? HUH? THIS IS SAND. KNOW WHAT IT'S GONNA BE A HUNDRED YEARS FROM NOW? IT'S GONNA BE SAND! YOU LIVE IN A FARKN DESERT! GET YOUR STUFF, GET YOUR SHIAT, WE'LL MAKE ONE TRIP, WE'LL TAKE YOU TO WHERE THE WATER IS! WE HAVE DESERTS IN THE REST OF AMERICA -- WE JUST DON'T LIVE IN THEM, ASSHOLES!"

On second thoughts we do not want most of the west coast in the midwest, maybe we can ship them off to the east coast.

/First thing to pop into my mind

 
wolvernova 2008-04-25 08:44:10 AM  
He's not your guy, friend.

/we want... more money

 
Skleenar 2008-04-25 08:46:38 AM  
Saiga410: It occurred to us that there wouldn't BE water wars, if you people would LIVE WHERE THE WATER IS!

img177.imageshack.us

 
SiotMoc 2008-04-25 08:47:00 AM  
Smellvin: That was the British. Stop trying to take credit for it. Just for that, when we put all the Canadians in concentration camps we're NOT going to separate out the Quebecers (rather than doing the humane thing and just ethnically cleansing them off the bat). That's right! They'll all be mixed in with the rest of you, so you'll have to live and labor in close quarters with them (even the mimes)! Mwahahahahaha!

Hahaha! Oui Oui! We will dump all our poutine on you englos in the camp!

/Seriously, no
/Don't even eat the damn thing
/All our water it belongs to us
/Not yours

 
Manfred J. Hattan 2008-04-25 08:47:39 AM  
Nestea Plunge: We can settle it with wet t-shirt contests.

Hmmm... I like this idea in the abstract, but the whole point of the dispute is no water. Maybe if we wet 'em down with canola oil or something. We'll still have canola oil, right, or is all the canola being displaced by corn to make ethanol?

 
Open_Mouth_Inert_Foot 2008-04-25 08:47:56 AM  
SpiderQueenDemon: Am I the only one that would totally love an America-Canada SuperSoaker match? Seriously. We could both teams declare national holidays at the same time, open the borders and everyone go play tag.

It wouldn't actually do or solve anything, but the rest of the world would be so damn freaked out no NAFTA nation would have to fight a real war for 20 years.


that sounds like fun, but we really should let mexico in on it too.

heck, make it global

 
Skleenar 2008-04-25 08:47:59 AM  
More information on Seattle's water conservation history.

 
canyoneer 2008-04-25 08:48:14 AM  
Great Lakes water will never, ever be sent to the Southwestern U.S. Why this ridiculous paranoid delusion reappears year after year is a complete mystery.

The uppermost lake (Superior) sits at 600' above sea level. The "parched" Southwestern states lie on the other side of the Great Divide, meaning water would have to be pumped west about 1,500 miles and uphill at least 7,000' to get it across the divide. The energy requirements for pumping any significant amount of water that far and that high are astronomical - prohibitively astronomical. The idea is absurd on its face, and the paranoia in Canada and the Upper Midwest about the prospect is infantile.

It will never, ever happen. Anyoe who seriously proposes it or worries about it does not have a good grasp on reality.

 
Nemo's Brother 2008-04-25 08:48:37 AM  
Smellvin: Tenebreux: Sigh. Is Canada going to have to set fire to the White House again?

That was the British. Stop trying to take credit for it. Just for that, when we put all the Canadians in concentration camps we're NOT going to separate out the Quebecers (rather than doing the humane thing and just ethnically cleansing them off the bat). That's right! They'll all be mixed in with the rest of you, so you'll have to live and labor in close quarters with them (even the mimes)! Mwahahahahaha!


I'm sure the drunken, eskimos that comprise the Canadian Army will put up a noble fight against the US, with their hockey sticks and bobbly heads, but it will be all for naught. I bet Oregon's State Guard could take Canada.

 
mephyt [TotalFark] 2008-04-25 08:49:06 AM  
I live in Michigan. I like knowing that even though we have bitter cold winters and annoying conservatives all over the place (on the west side, anyhow) at least I won't be dehydrated.

If you want water, move here, assholes. Suffer through it with the rest of us.

 
The Dreaded Rear Admiral [recently expired TotalFark] 2008-04-25 08:49:34 AM  
I came for the Tank Girl pics.

I have been disappointed.

 
TheGreyPiper 2008-04-25 08:50:33 AM  
lolmao666: Well maybe you dumbtards would stop using it in California to farking dump it on your farking lawn, we could have fresh water to drink in the future.

You have a freaking ocean just beside you, why don't you pump that water to water your freaking lawn that no one gives a rat ass about?

/freaking
//huge boobies


You either need a cup of cofffee, or are already WAAAAY over the legal limit for caffeine.

 
funmonger 2008-04-25 08:51:23 AM  
Canada can build nukes faster than you can say "Weapons Inspectors".

 
happyzombie 2008-04-25 08:51:28 AM  

 
canyoneer 2008-04-25 08:52:41 AM  
And, of course, the obligatory brain-dead Sam Kinison quote appears like clockwork. Sam Kinison was an ignorant idiot. Civilization began in the desert. While the inhabitants of wetter climes were still skulking around in rancid animal skins clubbing each other with broken tree branches for carrion, desert dwellers were inventing mathematics and written language and philosophy and agriculture and metallurgical technology. Sam Kinison was a moron.

 
costermonger [TotalFark] 2008-04-25 08:58:02 AM  
Smellvin: That was the British. Stop trying to take credit for it.

What nationality were the people living in Canada at the time?

 
Skleenar 2008-04-25 08:58:57 AM  
canyoneer: And, of course, the obligatory brain-dead Sam Kinison quote appears like clockwork. Sam Kinison was an ignorant idiot. Civilization began in the desert. While the inhabitants of wetter climes were still skulking around in rancid animal skins clubbing each other with broken tree branches for carrion, desert dwellers were inventing mathematics and written language and philosophy and agriculture and metallurgical technology. Sam Kinison was a moron.\

Mesopotamia has become a desert due to poor agricultural methods and soil erosion.

It wasn't a desert to start with, it was arid grasslands.

 
Headso 2008-04-25 08:59:26 AM  
moops: Here's a picture from a state that chronically complains it doesn't have enough water, Arizona:

phoenix:
i30.tinypic.com

 
canyoneer 2008-04-25 09:01:12 AM  
www3.nationalgeographic.com

 
commie4christ 2008-04-25 09:01:50 AM  
zero scaping man don't waste water.

 
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