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(KTAR) Amusing News: Some country singer you've never heard of going to court for allegedly assaulting fan's boyfriend. FARK: Actual name of singer's album is "My Life's Been a Country Song"   (ktar.com) divider line 148
More: Amusing  

148 Comments   (+0 »)


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Heamer 2008-04-22 04:31:27 PM  
What do you get when you play a country song backwards?

You get your girlfriend back, your dog back, your job back, your car back...

 
KJUW89 2008-04-22 04:31:44 PM  
I don't even need to read the article to know that it's about Chris Cagle. His wife had a child a year or so ago, and DNA determined that he wasn't the father. Awkward.

 
superoogie 2008-04-22 04:32:12 PM  
Nope, still don't care.

 
idiotpolice 2008-04-22 04:33:11 PM  
The judge's name is Margarita, so he's probably got nothing to worry about.

 
William Shakesbeer 2008-04-22 04:33:56 PM  
Liek OMGFZ0rZ!!1!

 
rbaron71 [TotalFark] 2008-04-22 04:34:04 PM  
His new song ("What Kinda Gone") is really catchy.

He's had a tough few years. What we really need is a Chris Cagle/Mindy McCready duet.

 
ScottMpls 2008-04-22 04:34:34 PM  
"Cagle punched Barry in the face after Barry's girlfriend became verbally abusive toward Cagle, police said."

Apparently, he has bad aim too ...

 
Bold 2008-04-22 04:34:34 PM  
The boyfriend has started his own country CD with the hit single.

"I should-a never played the game, I should-a farked O-Whats-Her-Name"

 
FriarReb98 [TotalFark] 2008-04-22 04:34:55 PM  
Heamer: What do you get when you play a country song backwards?

You get your girlfriend back, your dog back, your job back, your car back...


Just checking, you *do* know that that is the subject of a country song, right?

 
Englebert Slaptyback 2008-04-22 04:36:34 PM  
From TFA:

Singer Chris Cagle will stand trial in Tucson City Court on a misdemeanor assault charge after his tour ends this fall.

City Court Judge Margarita Bernal set a Sept. 23 trial date Monday for Cagle.

The country singer is accused of striking Tucsonan Mark Barry on Dec. 13 after a benefit concert in Tucson.


His trial gets delayed almost nine months because he's "on tour"?? Is this standard procedure?

 
DaBishop 2008-04-22 04:37:08 PM  
Country sucks.


/that is all.

 
Dreury 2008-04-22 04:37:29 PM  
That chick didn't dig it.

 
Heamer 2008-04-22 04:37:46 PM  
FriarReb98: Just checking, you *do* know that that is the subject of a country song, right?

I had no idea. My cousin from Tennessee told that to me, phrased as a joke, about a year ago. I don't listen to country music at all.

 
Tofino 2008-04-22 04:37:58 PM  
Gone for the day or gone for the night
Gone for the rest of your doggone life!

Fun song.

 
KJUW89 2008-04-22 04:38:29 PM  
Heamer: What do you get when you play a country song backwards?

You get your girlfriend back, your dog back, your job back, your car back...

"Backwards"

I was sitting on a bar stool
In a barbecue joint in Tennessee
When this ole boy walked in
And he sat right down next to me
I could tell he'd been through some hard times
There were tear stains on his old shirt
And he said you wanna know what you get
When you play a country song backwards

You get your house back
You get your dog back
You get your best friend Jack back
You get your truck back
You get your hair back
Ya get your first and second wives back
Your front porch swing
Your pretty little thing
Your bling bling bling and a diamond ring
Your get your farm and the barn and the boat and the Harley
First night in jail with Charlie
Sounds a little crazy, a little scattered and absurd
But that's what you get when you play a country song backwards
Well I never heard it said quite like that
It hit me in the face cause that's where I'm at
I almost fell flat out on the floor
He said wait a minute that's not all theres even more

You get your mind back
Your nerves back
Your first heart attack back
You get your pride back
You get your life back
You get your first real love back
You get your big screen TV, a DVD and a washing machine
You get the pond and the lawn
The bail and the mower
You go back where you don't know her
It sounds a little crazy a little scattered and absurd
But that's what you get
When you play a country song backwards
Oh play that song
Woo!!!

We sat there and shot the bull about how it would be
If we could turn it all around and change this c-r-a-p

You get your house back
You get your dog back
You get your best friend Jack back
You get your truck back
You get your hair back
Ya get your first and second wives back
Your front porch swing
Your pretty little thing
Your bling bling bling and a diamond ring
Your get your farm and the barn and the boat and the Harley
First night in jail with Charlie
You get your mind back
Your nerves back
Your first heart attack back
You get your pride back
You get your life back
You get your first real love back
You get your big screen TV, a DVD and a washing machine
You get the pond and the lawn
The bail and the mower
You go back where you don't know her
It sounds a little crazy a little scattered and absurd
But that's what you get
When you play a country song backwards

 
hudef 2008-04-22 04:38:54 PM  
www.djouls.com

 
KJUW89 2008-04-22 04:39:28 PM  
Tofino: Gone for the day or gone for the night
Gone for the rest of your doggone life!

Fun song.


Is it a whiskey night, or just a couple beers...

 
vernonFL [TotalFark] 2008-04-22 04:40:40 PM  
The reason why *good* country music was so good was because they did sing about their lives.

Hank Williams
Merle Haggard
Johnny Cash
Loretta Lynn

etc...

 
I'm in ur X Y'ing ur Z 2008-04-22 04:40:50 PM  
FTA: Tucson police spokesman Sgt. Mark Robinson previously said the woman was angry because Cagle declined to sign an autograph for her after signing several others for her.

And who do I make this out to?

Um... eBay. That's little 'e', big 'B'.

 
Heamer 2008-04-22 04:42:12 PM  
KJUW89: "Backwards"

Well, now I know.

 
cerberus9 2008-04-22 04:42:32 PM  
rbaron71: His new song ("What Kinda Gone") is really catchy.

He's had a tough few years. What we really need is a Chris Cagle/Mindy McCready duet.


What we really need is for modern "country" music to die in the hottest fires of hell.

Then I will be satisfied.

 
steveo 2008-04-22 04:43:51 PM  
FriarReb98: Just checking, you *do* know that that is the subject of a country song, right?

I'm guessing the song took its cue from the 20 year old joke.

 
Makeshift Masturbatorium 2008-04-22 04:44:18 PM  
Not impressed:
i29.photobucket.com

 
MirandaMM 2008-04-22 04:44:56 PM  
Poor Chris Cagle. Too bad he missed and hit the guy instead.

 
rbaron71 [TotalFark] 2008-04-22 04:45:00 PM  
cerberus9: What we really need is for modern "country" music to die in the hottest fires of hell.

Then I will be satisfied.


I don't know. You seem uptight.

 
RenegadJew 2008-04-22 04:47:01 PM  
This is how a real country song should start off:

She broke my heart.
So I broke her leg.....

 
Fibber McLiarson 2008-04-22 04:47:10 PM  
cerberus9: What we really need is for modern "country" music to die in the hottest fires of hell.

Then I will be satisfied.


/throw in the inventor of the gawd-awful steel guitar and I'm with you!

 
Gonad the Ballbarian 2008-04-22 04:47:31 PM  
Isn't he some sort of vaginal exercise?

:)

 
Yossarian22 2008-04-22 04:48:10 PM  
Makeshift Masturbatorium: Not impressed:

David Allan Coe is a good example of an country singer who would rather fight than sing. He used to have a 'contract' and would come to Athens,Ga once a year..did the mimnimum 'hour' set and half of that was usually a fight with someone in the audience or some attack on theater staff.

/like some of his stuff but the guy is a jackass.

//was there because I was bartending, knew better than to pay money.

 
ArcadianRefugee 2008-04-22 04:49:06 PM  
Heamer: You get your girlfriend back, your dog back, your job back, your car back...

"Car"?

/truck
//Ford

 
InferiousX [recently expired TotalFark] 2008-04-22 04:50:00 PM  
I remember when Chris Cagle became somewhat popular they were saying he was going to be the next Garth Brooks. Hasn't quite worked out that way so far.

Makeshift Masturbatorium:
Not impressed:

You know what, when I went back to my hometown there was a David Allen Coe concert going on. I was excited to go and paid the $25 bucks to get in. Then got on stage, sang 45 minutes of cover songs all strung together (half of them Kid Rock songs) then left. That was it. If it was $5 to get in the door then I would have felt ok but $25 for a set that lasts less than an hour and he doesn't even sing Mona Lisa Lost Her Smile or You Never Even Called Me? Very very disappointed.

 
twistedbastard 2008-04-22 04:50:54 PM  
DaBishop: coontry sucks.

Fixed that for you.

 
Tsar_Bomba1 2008-04-22 04:51:41 PM  
DaBishop: Country sucks.

/that is all.


dotdash.blogspot.com

 
twistedbastard 2008-04-22 04:52:24 PM  
twistedbastard: DaBishop: coontry sucks.

Fixed that for you.


Damn you Drew and your high powered curse filtration system!

 
Some Texan 2008-04-22 04:52:29 PM  
Welcome to the January 2008 issue of Country Weekly. It just so happens that I read this story in that magazine over the weekend waiting at a repair shop.

 
vernonFL [TotalFark] 2008-04-22 04:52:57 PM  
I'll admit I'm kind of a pussy, but I wouldn't go to a David Allen Coe concert.

 
HellblazerPrime 2008-04-22 04:54:08 PM  
rbaron71: His new song ("What Kinda Gone") is really catchy.

He's had a tough few years. What we really need is a Chris Cagle/Mindy McCready duet.


I remember that name from my days of watching CMT on mute. Is she still hot?

 
frksho 2008-04-22 04:54:14 PM  
Tucson police spokesman Sgt. Mark Robinson previously said the woman was angry because Cagle declined to sign an autograph for her after signing several others for her.

What?

 
Makeshift Masturbatorium 2008-04-22 04:57:00 PM  
Oddly, it looks like David Allen Coe's Wikipedia entry has been excised of most of his shenanigans.

But right in the middle is a section about that one "N word" song.

 
cormac_zoso 2008-04-22 04:57:11 PM  
Englebert Slaptyback: From TFA:

Singer Chris Cagle will stand trial in Tucson City Court on a misdemeanor assault charge after his tour ends this fall.

City Court Judge Margarita Bernal set a Sept. 23 trial date Monday for Cagle.

The country singer is accused of striking Tucsonan Mark Barry on Dec. 13 after a benefit concert in Tucson.


His trial gets delayed almost nine months because he's "on tour"?? Is this standard procedure?


yes ... same procedure as when "starlets" go to "prison" for a DUI and stay, oh, thirty seconds ... it's that same procedure ...

*rolls eyes*

 
technicolor-misfit 2008-04-22 04:57:44 PM  
HellblazerPrime - rbaron71: What we really need is a Chris Cagle/Mindy McCready duet.

I remember that name from my days of watching CMT on mute. Is she still hot?


blogs.kansascity.com

So, to answer your question... Hells yeah, bubba!

 
Elephantman 2008-04-22 04:58:42 PM  
Makeshift Masturbatorium: Not impressed:

The Perfect Country Western Song (new window)

 
DaBishop 2008-04-22 04:59:01 PM  
Tsar_Bomba1: DaBishop: Country sucks.

/that is all.


Johnny Cash gets a pass on that statement for 2 reasons;

1) He was Goth long before it became cool, and then not.
2) "Boy Named Sue" is the only song on Earth that I will do karaoke to.

 
farkwell 2008-04-22 04:59:08 PM  
He's got nothing on Selena, who was murdered by the president of her fan club.

"Selena Live!" indeed

 
InferiousX [recently expired TotalFark] 2008-04-22 04:59:43 PM  
vernonFL

I'll admit I'm kind of a pussy, but I wouldn't go to a David Allen Coe concert.

At the concert I reffered to in my last post, there was about six people packing heat. A few bikers and some other guys.

 
Yossarian22 2008-04-22 04:59:53 PM  
InferiousX: I remember when Chris Cagle became somewhat popular they were saying he was going to be the next Garth Brooks. Hasn't quite worked out that way so far.

Makeshift Masturbatorium:
Not impressed:

You know what, when I went back to my hometown there was a David Allen Coe concert going on. I was excited to go and paid the $25 bucks to get in. Then got on stage, sang 45 minutes of cover songs all strung together (half of them Kid Rock songs) then left. That was it. If it was $5 to get in the door then I would have felt ok but $25 for a set that lasts less than an hour and he doesn't even sing Mona Lisa Lost Her Smile or You Never Even Called Me? Very very disappointed.


That was my point too. He has been like that for years.

I think David Alan Coe would like to start playing for Kindergarteners like the Norwegian death metal bands seem to prefer.

 
Makeshift Masturbatorium 2008-04-22 05:03:29 PM  
Elephantman: Makeshift Masturbatorium: Not impressed:

The Perfect Country Western Song (new window)


YES!

 
LukeA 2008-04-22 05:05:05 PM  
DaBishop: Tsar_Bomba1: DaBishop: Country sucks.

/that is all.

Johnny Cash gets a pass on that statement for 2 reasons;

1) He was Goth long before it became cool, and then not.
2) "Boy Named Sue" is the only song on Earth that I will do karaoke to.


Know how I know you're gay?

 
vernonFL [TotalFark] 2008-04-22 05:06:06 PM  
InferiousX

He played at a club near Baltimore and there were several motorcycle club members there. I remember driving by and thinking 'holy shiat'.

 
ill_83 [TotalFark] 2008-04-22 05:06:20 PM  
KJUW89: Heamer: What do you get when you play a country song backwards?

You get your girlfriend back, your dog back, your job back, your car back...

"Backwards"

You get your mind back
Your nerves back
Your first heart attack back
You get your pride back
You get your life back
You get your first real love back
You get your big screen TV, a DVD and a washing machine
You get the pond and the lawn
The bail and the mower
You go back where you don't know her
It sounds a little crazy a little scattered and absurd
But that's what you get
When you play a country song backwards
Oh play that song
Woo!!!

We sat there and shot the bull about how it would be
If we could turn it all around and change this c-r-a-p

You get your house back
You get your dog back
You get your best friend Jack back
You get your truck back
You get your hair back
Ya get your first and second wives back
Your front porch swing
Your pretty little thing
Your bling bling bling and a diamond ring
Your get your farm and the barn and the boat and the Harley
First night in jail with Charlie
You get your mind back
Your nerves back
Your first heart attack back
You get your pride back
You get your life back
You get your first real love back
You get your big screen TV, a DVD and a washing machine
You get the pond and the lawn
The bail and the mower
You go back where you don't know her
It sounds a little crazy a little scattered and absurd
But that's what you get
When you play a country song backwards


Oh my god, he rhymed back with back! country is hooooorrible!


/sarcasm
//pretending this is a rap thread
///listens to both

 
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