Hi I'am sarah
I have been skating for about a year and the boys at the skate park think i am stupid and think i should be doing dancing or something what do you think?
Sarah,
I think they're right.
TH

So what's this guy's Fark handle?

pjabbott: Hi I'am sarah
I have been skating for about a year and the boys at the skate park think i am stupid and think i should be doing dancing or something what do you think?
Sarah,
I think they're right.
TH

So what's this guy's Fark handle?

I'm guessing Tatsuma.

/But yet again, lacks the humor

What, no hero tag? Although the ones to children under 10 are a bit harsh, hilarious, but still harsh.

Tony Hawk is a fag. He needs to get a real job.

At least he's not a criminal.

Funk Brothers: He needs to get a real job.

perhaps dancing?

hi tony,
how do you grind?
Andrew,11

Cautiously, and when no-one's watching.
TH


Nothing more needs to be said.

I hope we Fark the link

I really do

You have to be quite a douche to post your replies to emails that people send you, no matter how "mischievous" they may be.

talllankyguy: I hope we Fark the link

I really do

You wish appears to have been granted. All the document links are now 404-compliant.

medius: Funk Brothers: He needs to get a real job.

perhaps dancing?

Tony Hawk's Pro Dancer 27

I know the brits created the English language, but the way they spell manoeuvres hurts my American eyes.

hey tony hawk like to say your the best my skate broad got broken when i was grinding on a pole could u send me a extra broad

cody
Cody,
If there are any extra broads going - then I shall keep them to myself.

TH

Does he have to be in the gym in 26 minutes?

hey man ur a gr8 sk8r u real cool u know u da best eva i wanna b like u

paul

Paul,
I don't think you do want to be like me - because if you were like me, you'd be irritated by people who write sk8r instead of skater. It doesn't really save any time and it's ugly on the eye.

See you L8r

TH


Douchebaggery, submitter? My thoughts? Genius. Pure, snarky genius

There's a sign by where I live advertising 'stump grinding'. I can only assume it's some type of amputee sexual act.

This is like when Maddox makes fun of kids' drawings.

Both provide me with amusement.

sup toneeeeeeee!!

hey d00d u r the coolest sk8R ever! I know you probly get told that 10x a day, but I had to say it. anyway ill get to the point. Can you sent me a new deck? I just brok mine and my mom wont get me on :( :( so can you! thanx!

First off, don't call me toneeeeeeee!! It pisses me off.

Re sending you a new deck. What kind of deck do you want. Teak or mahogany?

TH

Anyone that thinks this guy is a douchebag, are they themselves a douchebag.

Nothing beats that great British wit.

gruntmints: hey man ur a gr8 sk8r u real cool u know u da best eva i wanna b like u

paul

Paul,
I don't think you do want to be like me - because if you were like me, you'd be irritated by people who write sk8r instead of skater. It doesn't really save any time and it's ugly on the eye.

See you L8r

TH


Douchebaggery, submitter? My thoughts? Genius. Pure, snarky genius

I was gonna write hilarity, but i couldnt decide which one to use. It is hilarious douchebaggery

This is the only one that made me smile. FTA:


dear tony hawk i hate u u know why beause my wish is about u coming to my city and my wish do not come so ilike u before but now i hate u



This is not as disappointing for me as you might think.

TH

Oh geez, this guy is my hero. At the very least he is doing his part to combat idiocy.

Why is it that 9 out of 10 of the people who emailed him can't spell even a little bit?

Sigh.

Had me laughing hard though.

dear;tony hawk i love urr skatin it was cool when u and bam margera skated together. my name is tony 2 im tony morgan.your one of my best skate boarders.do u have a screen name i do it is pimpskater188 if u do have one tell me it.i am a ok skater im 10 but i started skatin wen i was 5.i am learnen new tricks bye the minute.i can do a lot of tricks.i mostly skate vert but i still like street. im better at vert becuase i have a huge half pipe in my back yard im the only brave guy in the house to drop in on it.and my brothers 13 almost 14.but he's mostly street any way.i want to be a pro like u when i grow up.i also like playin basketballi play every year.my team one the playoffs and got a trophie.do u like basket ball? i cant wait till you send me back i want to no a lot aboat skate boarding and stuff.i have a world indistries pro deck right now. and im eather goin 2 get a girl bam or a flip board next maybe even a hawk board.i spend most of my days skatin.i skate board when ever i get the chance.every friday at the church across from the junier high there is a skatin thing from 630 till 830 or 9.00 oclock.there is ramps half pipes lots of them theres gaps from 1 half pipe to the next.theres wicked cool grinds some are goin of the half pipes.u got 2 go its awesome.i always go there.rondy molen mite be goin.how mutch do u get payed for skate boarding?

Bloody hell, you do go on.

TH


I cracked up at this one.

Douchebaggery......maybe.


Win..... This guy, most definitely, is.

Bravo, Tony.

It's surprising how many of them say, "You're my biggest fan". It's like a common malfunction in an entire generation or at least those who have sk8brding brain damage. I smell a research grant followed by a study followed by scare headlines in there somewhere.

Wait, this guy?

Then I proclaim win.

Approves.

Tony Hawks wrote a very funny book called "Round Ireland with a Fridge". It's a true story about how he (Tony) gets drunk and makes a bet for 100 pounds that he can hitchhike around Ireland with a fridge, and the book is about his travels and how he becomes a celebrity in Ireland as a result.

I'm signing this guy up for every piece of spam I can find.

/priceless

-1 subby. I have met Mr.Douche and this man is no Douche. Mr. British guy, you sir are of top wit. Keep up the spirited work.

Perhaps we can turn this guy loose on the You Tube commenters next....

Greetings,

I'm an author and comedian living in a once great Britain who gets his jollies penning witty, and I fear half-witty, responses to adolescent American skateboarders, like you. Regards, Tony
_______________

Tony dude,

Fark off and die, dude.

Signed, Skater dude

Thresher: -1 subby. I have met Mr.Douche and this man is no Douche. Mr. British guy, you sir are of top wit. Keep up the spirited work.

yeah im regretting calling him a douche. I was trying to play into the stereotype that all brits are douches (Which isn't true) so i guess thats a massive fail by me. Funny stuff though

Hilarious.
Sorry, but people who type like that do need to be spoken down to. Especially since they show no initiative in communicating properly whatsoever. It's not even due to lack of intelligence in many cases, just pure unadulterated laziness. If you make excuses for them, you will have an entire generation of people incapable of functioning in a real work environment. Personally when I get responses with any form of disjointed net verbiage, they go right into the ignore bin.

Qishi: You have to be quite a douche to post your replies to emails that people send you, no matter how "mischievous" they may be.

Then again, you have to be a real dumbfark to confuse this guy with a much younger American skateboarder, so if you do you probably deserve all the abuse you get. As do people who think this isnt funny, I mean did you read the emails? Much Hilarity...

IM texting has destroyed the minds of an entire generation.

/L8r, k?

Tony Hawks wishes he was Tony Hawk.



Me too

Guts:

It is a sad fact of life that these days the bar is set so low that if you can put together a coherent sentence you already have a leg up, and if you can use words with more than three syllables, preferably in the correct context, you already have a better chance than probably 75% of the population of making something of yourself past a fry cook.

The kind of people that this guy is responding to are the next wave of employees. Which is good for me, because that's less competition. The problem is, they're also the next wave of bosses.

man responds to people who email him (unsolicited) in the same fashion that Farkers respond to each other every day, all day, all the time. Farkers declare him a douche.

Lots of Farkers need to get a grip.

That book is fookin' hi-larious. Well worth the breathtaking cover price I paid whilst in the UK.

he is also famous for 'stutter rap', the magic sequel book 'playing the moldavians at tennis', being on 'grumpy old men', and generally being an all round hoopy frood.

Funk Brothers: Tony Hawk is a fag. He needs to get a real job.

So he's a fag because he makes a ton more money than you for nothing? I'd say that not only is he a hell of a lot smarter than you, but maybe (and this is a huge maybe) a lot more mature too.

Funny on so many levels. My side hurts now.

I don't blame him for his responses, of which they're fantastic. If it was another person then maybe they'd be much ruder in their responses, especially if you get an avalanche of emails when people assume he must be the skater Tony Hawk (lacking the 's').

Anyway, this reminds me of a similar situation with my friends website that he set up when we were at uni... the site being www.mi6.co.uk which involved him getting quite a lot of would be job applications (with full CVs/Resumes) of people wanting to be spies, even though the site stated that they were in no way affiliated or connected to the real MI6 (this was before it turned into the Bond fansite). He forwarded them onto the real MI6 where they no doubt filed under the bin labelled 'morans' (spelling intentional). The other thing was that most of the applicants came from the US :-)

I have tears of laughter in my eyes. I'm imagining all the letters being read by John Cleese.

Approves!

Hey Tony....man, you are one helluva skater...I want to be just like you when I get older. Wow.

- Doris


Doris,
If you really want to be just like me when you're older you'll need to undergo considerable surgery.

TH

// Left me on the floor in tears

Better than Round ireland with a fridge is his second book Playing the moldovans at tennis...I lol'ed an awful lot reading that...And if you have spent any amount of time in Eastern Europe it is an absolute must

Ghastly: I have tears of laughter in my eyes. I'm imagining all the letters being read by John Cleese.




"Good Gawd!!!"

You owe me a new keyboard....

hi tony, i wear a thong to sk8 sometimes.. do you think it'll make me better? i'm ate years old. can you teach me a backflip? do you get lots of woman? i saw a boobie once. maybe we can sk8 sometimes, you could kinda show me the ways of being a man, and what to do with my manly.. my momy says i'll find out one day

bye, you're biggest fan in the whole world

shane st
Shane,
I'm no angel but I have standards. And one of them is not showing 'ate' year olds the ways of being a man, and what to do with their manlys. Sorry.

TH


wtf?

I'm beginning to think he made up these letters too.