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(The Sun) Stupid Kids as young as 5 are fighting each other in kickboxing clubs. £10 on the littlest one, 3 to 1 odds   (thesun.co.uk) divider line 64
More: Stupid  
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64 Comments   (+0 »)


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Tr0mBoNe [TotalFark] 2008-04-20 06:36:44 PM  
I wager 500 Quatloos on the newcomer.

 
EsteeFlwrPot 2008-04-20 06:55:14 PM  
Ah, those crazy Mexicans.

 
Walken's cooler brother 2008-04-20 06:57:39 PM  
Inb4 Fight Club.

 
sluglife 2008-04-20 07:00:58 PM  
Article is worthless, just like the punch or kick of a 5 year old thrown at my face.

/face only

 
PirateFreedom 2008-04-20 07:01:01 PM  
I'm dominating my Dojo Jerry!

 
xlbrooklyn [TotalFark] 2008-04-20 07:02:08 PM  

 
skinink 2008-04-20 07:02:55 PM  

I am Alfalfa's complete lack of surprise.


imagecache2.allposters.com


 
holiday_inn_in_cambodia 2008-04-20 07:03:18 PM  
Remind me, disemboweling in your species: fatal, or non-fatal?

 
Alucard1191 2008-04-20 07:05:01 PM  
When I was a kid we had a fight club in kindergarten. 5-6 year olds. The mexicans were vicious as hell, letting there nails grow really long and what not. Got lots of letters home from those days...

 
Calvin Hobbes 2008-04-20 07:05:16 PM  
Two tots enter... one tot leaves.

 
Bored Horde 2008-04-20 07:05:20 PM  
Kids have been fighting since forever, at least this way they can work it out with some padding on and with adult supervision.

With the discipline they're learning along with the martial art, they will also be less likely to start fights later on.

 
ScubaDude1960 [TotalFark] 2008-04-20 07:09:17 PM  
PirateFreedom: I'm dominating my Dojo Jerry!

Damn you!!!
/* shakes fist */

 
tkirby 2008-04-20 07:09:25 PM  
I wager 20 quatloos that all three are untrainable. 5000 quatloos that the newcomers will have to be destroyed.

 
CygnusDarius [TotalFark] 2008-04-20 07:10:18 PM  
EsteeFlwrPot: Ah, those crazy Mexicans.

Yo vi lo hiciste ahi.

 
HappyHarryHardOn [TotalFark] 2008-04-20 07:12:15 PM  
#3 - If the kid says stop, goes limp, taps out, the fight is over.


- If this is your first night at Fight Club, you have to fight.

 
van1ty 2008-04-20 07:12:25 PM  
sorry but 5 year olds can't hit hard enough for this to be a problem.

 
grunthos 2008-04-20 07:12:55 PM  
Bwahahahahaaa! Little runts stand no chance....in numbers less than two dozen...

23

 
Visceral Realist 2008-04-20 07:13:24 PM  
Don't worry. In three years time, it'll be announced that these children lied about their age.

They're really at least 7 or 8, but claimed to be younger to have a better shot at the majors.

 
mr. mister 2008-04-20 07:14:28 PM  
I could take 27.

 
Workemon 2008-04-20 07:15:19 PM  
Calvin Hobbes: Two tots enter... one tot leaves.

Well done, raggedy man.

 
Great Janitor 2008-04-20 07:16:16 PM  
My dad has a story about me when I was young that he loves to tell. There were some older boys that would often treat me like shiat and bully me around. One day, my dad watched as I, having had enough, walked inside, said nothing, went to my room, found a little toy metal/plastic gun, and holding it by the barrel, walked back outside, got behind the oldest of the two boys and, as hard as I could, hit the oldest in the back of the head with the butt of the gun, sending him straight to the ground. The younger boy ran off, my dad got a good laugh. Never again did they bother me.

When I say that I was young, I was about 4 at the time. Still too young to be going to school. This was also the early 1980s, back when people didn't instantly result to calling the police for every little thing.

 
EatYourHeartOut 2008-04-20 07:17:25 PM  
Kickboxing. Sport of the future.

www.affiliatetip.com

 
Impudent Domain 2008-04-20 07:18:12 PM  
100 quatloos on the newcomers!

 
Dr. Farkenstein 2008-04-20 07:19:36 PM  
www.4freeimagehost.com

'Allo, betting shop? What'cha got... three mixamatose rabbits against a three-legged cat? A fiver on the moggie... nah, wait - a fiver on each ghoulie!

"D'ya have any children fighting today?..."

 
PH Neutral 2008-04-20 07:20:37 PM  
He would approve:

www.upperedge.com

 
edflyer 2008-04-20 07:23:04 PM  
Rules 1 and 2
That is all

 
slappydoodad 2008-04-20 07:24:23 PM  
$200 on ClownBaby!!!

/obscure?

 
Josh Repasky 2008-04-20 07:29:17 PM  
skinink: I am Alfalfa's complete lack of surprise.

AHAHAHAHA!

+2 for skinink

 
Broadside 2008-04-20 07:32:25 PM  
Rule #1: Do not tell your mom about kiddie fight club.
Rule #2: Nap time shall be strictly observed.

 
brantgoose 2008-04-20 07:33:11 PM  
First rule of Baby Fight Club: no talking about Baby Fight Club.
Second rule: no talking.
Third rule: Adults sound like this: Bwaa, bwaa, bwaa, bwaa, bwaa, bwaa.
Fourth rule: Destroy all copies of LOOK WHO'S TALKING movies. I just added that one myself. I just think it would be a good idea.

 
unholycode76 2008-04-20 07:46:43 PM  
slappydoodad: $200 on ClownBaby!!!

/obscure?


Is it a clown dressed as a baby or a baby dressed as a clown? LOL , My favorite show...

 
br0g 2008-04-20 07:48:28 PM  
xlbrooklyn: How many five year olds can you take in a fight? (pops)

www.badwaterrocks.com

I feel pretty bad now.

/in a Samuel L. kinda way
//not in a 'beating up kids is wrong' kinda way
///little punks probably need a good whoopin'.
//slashies?

 
eyeyeye 2008-04-20 07:50:06 PM  
xlbrooklyn: How many five year olds can you take in a fight? (pops)

19

 
eyeyeye 2008-04-20 07:51:53 PM  
Damn, I wish I'd read the thread before I posted my paltry 19.

/thank heck for

//going to put on skirt

 
Rambino 2008-04-20 07:53:01 PM  
Didn't we have an article from Missouri on this subject already?

And I do believe that the conclusion was that people needed to unwad their panties.

 
eyeyeye 2008-04-20 07:53:37 PM  
Sonoafabiatch. Thank heck for ADHD, that was the point.

 
KipperM 2008-04-20 07:56:14 PM  
i265.photobucket.com
&
i228.photobucket.com
Do not approve.

i26.photobucket.com
Approve.

 
Baba Yaga 2008-04-20 07:56:19 PM  
Upright Citizens Brigade?

 
srhp29 2008-04-20 07:59:36 PM  
Somewhere Michael Vick is observed having an idea.

/by somewhere I mean prison of course

 
Iceman208481 2008-04-20 08:00:36 PM  
SWEEP THE LEG!! I LOVE IT WHEN HE POUNDS 'EM!

 
Maxor 2008-04-20 08:09:15 PM  
Weird according to the test I can only take 28 five year olds but at age 17 I took 22 easily as a summer camp helper. The trick is to distract a few and use them as projectile weapons 5 year olds have about a 25 foot range.

 
GimpyNip 2008-04-20 08:18:04 PM  

 
Valarius 2008-04-20 08:23:54 PM  
Dunno how to post the pic, but the above test says I can take 30.

I need to lose weight and learn to improvise some weapons. For example, taking off a pair of boots makes them into great clubs.

 
Chapin 2008-04-20 08:31:29 PM  
I don't see what's wrong with this. I started martial arts training when I was 6, training included sparring and competing in tournaments. I've been a judge (referee if you will) in hundreds of tournament fights of 5-6 year old kids. Trouble starts when kids reach age 12-13, then they are strong enough to cause real damage to one another.

Boring article, boring topic.

 
Bathia_Mapes [TotalFark] 2008-04-20 08:34:58 PM  

 
Plug_Nickel 2008-04-20 08:38:47 PM  
xlbrooklyn: How many five year olds can you take in a fight? (pops)

31

Chumps.

 
theteacher 2008-04-20 08:52:55 PM  
holiday_inn_in_cambodia 2008-04-20 07:03:18 PM
Remind me, disemboweling in your species: fatal, or non-fatal?


Saint Guts Free says non-fatal.

 
Sir Roderick Ponce von Fontlebottom 2008-04-20 08:54:22 PM  
No juice box until you can tell me the first two rules of Fight Club.

 
orclover 2008-04-20 09:10:36 PM  
34

Its like fighting midgest, only they bite more.

 
chocoboat 2008-04-20 09:14:00 PM  
That site is so wrong. You're telling me I can only take on one classroom's worth of 5-year-olds?

Maybe if they were all super aggressive, and being controlled by someone else so that they all work together effectively. But if it was realistic at all, they all go down to a single punch, many of them get afraid and back off or run away. And am I wrong in assuming about half of them will be girls?

I gotta think it would take at least 60, and probably 100 or more. They would need enough to instantly and completely swarm you and hold you down. And even then, think about how much damage a 5-year-old can even do. They can't hit hard, they can't choke you, they can't really do anything. You could slowly work your way through the swarm, killing one at a time. They'd have to either crush you under their weight, or exhaust you and continue to hold you until you starve or something.

 
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