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(Some Guy) Asinine School district thinks it's a good idea to randomly test teen cheerleaders, debate members, and kids on the speech team for drugs. "We want to give these kids another opportunity to 'just say no'"   (missoulian.com) divider line 338
More: Asinine  

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Twigz221 2008-04-20 05:37:14 PM  
One of my friends in high school got addicted to performance enhancing drugs. He became a total junkie. But alas, he did win all those debate tournaments.

 
eff ewe 2008-04-20 05:38:03 PM  
No

 
NapaTransplant 2008-04-20 05:38:31 PM  
Ridiculous. What's next, taking a sample for everyone who renews their license? Actually, that's probably not that far off.

 
BlackArt 2008-04-20 05:38:57 PM  
I think that they need to test School Board members FIRST. Try that out for a few months before testing any more kids.

 
Fluid 2008-04-20 05:39:08 PM  
Come now. Are the people on the speech team the most likely to be on drugs?

 
noneyourbase 2008-04-20 05:39:53 PM  
"We want to give these kids another opportunity to 'just say no,' "


...to random drug tests

 
insert cliche here 2008-04-20 05:41:05 PM  
They have this at my highschool. All it really does is ensure the druggies do not participate in any of those activities, perpetuating their drug use.

They also test anyone that drives to school.

 
ACEllis 2008-04-20 05:41:06 PM  
They'll lose a small percentage of damn fine students because they smoke a joint on occasions. Sad.

/doesn't smoke, never have, never will
//alcohol is much more a threat

 
mctom 2008-04-20 05:41:17 PM  
noneyourbase: "We want to give these kids another opportunity to 'just say no,' "


...to random drug tests


Came here to say this.

 
Bhruic 2008-04-20 05:41:47 PM  
FTA: As to kids leaving activities, or turning to less detectable drugs: "I just don't think that will happen. I think if anything, more kids will join teams because there will be a safe culture there, a guarantee of no drug pressure."

It's nice to see an "Athletic Director" so out of touch with the youth of today.

 
Lerxst2k 2008-04-20 05:42:48 PM  
When does the drug testing of the members of the school board and administration start?

Didn't think so.

 
thenewflesh 2008-04-20 05:43:08 PM  
Yes, listen to the doublespeak kids. "opportunity" = "do what we say or we'll fark you over for life"

Debate members? Speech team? If kids are getting stoned and taking part in coherent debates and giving inspiring speeches, give them a medal!

 
Man On Fire 2008-04-20 05:43:34 PM  
How the hell would drugs help you on the speech team?

/unless you gave them to the judges.

 
Ikahoshi 2008-04-20 05:43:35 PM  
BlackArt: I think that they need to test School Board members FIRST. Try that out for a few months before testing any more kids.

Exactly.

 
DrBenway [TotalFark] 2008-04-20 05:44:47 PM  
How much money are they going to waste on that?

 
archnem 2008-04-20 05:45:11 PM  
Kids today are treated like prisoners instead of pupils. And we wonder why our schools are so farked up. Civil libertarians wonder why people are so anxious to give up freedom for security, but we demand metal detectors be placed in the doorways of our schools, that our kids be subject to random locker searches, that our students have no rights whatsoever.
In 10 years when this generation comes to power, what precious few of our liberties are left will melt away....because these kids have never known them to begin with, it's all business as normal as far as they are concerned.

/drunken paranioa off
//ok, no it's not
///where's my tinfoil?
////slashies

 
Joce678 2008-04-20 05:45:33 PM  
The really great thing about drug tests is that if you refuse them it's because you've "got something to hide"....right?

 
Weaver95 [TotalFark] 2008-04-20 05:46:02 PM  
"We're just discussing what's possible," said school Superintendent Jerry House. "We're trying to do what's right for the kids. You can't make good decisions unless you're willing to learn about an issue, so that's what we're doing - we're listening, and we're learning."


I'd start a camapign to make all school board members and school adminstration employees subject to random drug tests.

Hey - it's 'for the children' right? and we want the children to be safe, right?

 
Bob Ondeeznuts 2008-04-20 05:46:07 PM  
If you test for cocaine, marijuana, or any other illegal drugs it doesn't mean the kids won't try something else to get high. Most kids can look in their parent's medicine cabinets and find 4-5 things that will get them high. Drug testing doesn't work, anywhere. There is always a way out of it.........unless they do hair follicle tests, but those are just too damn expensive.

Yummy yummy prescription drugs.....

 
mctom 2008-04-20 05:46:43 PM  
When does "just say no" get to apply to school?

Everyone here knows a coffee addict who is every bit as stable as a coke head, right? Maybe even said addict works in a school administration?

/glass houses, stones, etc

 
Get Lost 2008-04-20 05:48:36 PM  
And we all know that Random drug tests are illegal, as humans can not do things randomly. Show me the proof of illegal activity and Then do the test. Simple law people.

/What about the NewYork police force being given 3 months to get clean of Steroids?

 
theorellior 2008-04-20 05:48:46 PM  
Joce678: The really great thing about drug tests is that if you refuse them it's because you've "got something to hide"....right?

My government knows best for me, which is why I'm glad they're also spying on my conversations in case I talk to a terrorist.

 
Bathia_Mapes [TotalFark] 2008-04-20 05:49:22 PM  
I can understand testing for athletics where performance enhancing drugs could come into play, but debating & band? Seriously, WTF??

 
Weaver95 [TotalFark] 2008-04-20 05:49:46 PM  
mctom: When does "just say no" get to apply to school?

Everyone here knows a coffee addict who is every bit as stable as a coke head, right? Maybe even said addict works in a school administration?

/glass houses, stones, etc


Actually, cocaine will eventually fry your brain. eventually it just starts burning out certain chemical receptors and you get all sorts of weird things happening to you.

The only drug that has been proven harmless is cannabis. 100% organic and completely harmless to the human body. Damn shame we don't teach the truth about drugs anymore tho. It's all about propaganda.

 
Weaver95 [TotalFark] 2008-04-20 05:50:33 PM  
Bathia_Mapes: I can understand testing for athletics where performance enhancing drugs could come into play, but debating & band? Seriously, WTF??

Eventually just showing up to school will require a DNA sample and urine test.

 
chrisweuve 2008-04-20 05:50:37 PM  
Fluid: Come now. Are the people on the speech team the most likely to be on drugs?

From personal experience -- yeah.

 
theorellior 2008-04-20 05:51:06 PM  
BlackArt: I think that they need to test School Board members FIRST. Try that out for a few months before testing any more kids.

I think it should be mandatory to install a breathalyzer on the ignition of everyone who shows up at school, regardless of age or role there.

 
Thresher 2008-04-20 05:52:11 PM  
Being drug-free v being drug-free and tested "randomly"? I choose eff-off! I never took a drug in high school (waited for college and those ever important experimental years) but i would still fight this shiate tooth and nail. My body. Not yours - asshats!!!11one!1eleven

 
strathmeyer 2008-04-20 05:52:18 PM  
mctom: Came here to say this.

Came here to make fun of the people who need the joke explained.

 
Robobuu 2008-04-20 05:52:19 PM  
If you've got nothing to hide... bah, I can't do it. I must say, I have much respect for the hard-working trolls.

So yeah... "a chance to 'just say not?'" The chance to "just say no"is not doing drug tests and giving the kids the opportunity to make the decision themselves. If they decide themselves it isn't something they want to do, that decision will be so much stronger than if it was force-fed. Also, "just say no" itself is ridiculous. Telling a teen--or anyone with half a free mind--that they can't be trusted with something like that just just asking for trouble. I smoked marijuana for a little while and decided it bored me so I quite, and I'm better for the experience.

 
Oznog 2008-04-20 05:52:30 PM  
Have all your peers eat a big 'ole poppyseed bagel and wash it down with some OTC cold medicine. When it comes back that 100% of their students are on heroin and methamphetamine they may have to rethink their testing strategy.

A roommate I had in college said his high school class did that- the entire honor roll came up as drug users and it messed with them to no end. Especially since they INSISTED that these tests would NOT give false positives for these simple, innocent things. Oh no the company assured us that false positives were a thing of the past, this is all high tech chemistry now.

 
inv 2008-04-20 05:52:33 PM  
I see nothing particularly bad about this. Kids have no right to use illegal drugs, and in an educational setting there is a heavy interest of the state in maintaining a safe, education-focused environment for all their students.

 
simpsonfan 2008-04-20 05:52:40 PM  
Only came for cheerleader pics.

 
ScuzzieNoodle 2008-04-20 05:53:05 PM  
Joce678: The really great thing about drug tests is that if you refuse them it's because you've "got something to hide"....right?

Read the article and the comments made by Bryson. His comments were going through my mind as I read the article before I read what he had to say.

 
Aeonite [TotalFark] 2008-04-20 05:53:12 PM  
All the kids have to do is claim that the person who watched them pee was watching them "strangely". Voila, random drug testing suspended to protect the childrens from unwanted sexual glances.

 
Hagrid 2008-04-20 05:54:29 PM  
Weaver95: The only drug that has been proven harmless is cannabis. 100% organic and completely harmless to the human body. Damn shame we don't teach the truth about drugs anymore tho. It's all about propaganda.

Yeah, completely harmless, except for the chronic bronchitis, decreased immune function, possible lung cancer risks (there's some new studies on this recently released), and the possibility of cannabis induced psychosis (yeah it's rare, but still). I'm not saying cannabis is the horrible drug that society makes it out to be, and it is a whole lot less dangerous than alcohol. Granted alot of the dangers come from the actual smoking of it, but I know alot of potheads and only one of them has a vap, and no one I know exclusively eats their bud.

/I'm not saying anything
//Just sayin

 
Dilbert J. Galt 2008-04-20 05:54:57 PM  
BlackArt: I think that they need to test School Board members FIRST. Try that out for a few months before testing any more kids.
I'd love to see the look on their faces if that were suggested.

 
Hobodeluxe [TotalFark] 2008-04-20 05:55:29 PM  
let's start with random testing all the politicians first.then corporate CEOs and executives.

 
Espertron 2008-04-20 05:55:46 PM  
Just say 'No' to drugs or you could end up like this guy...

z.about.com

 
AnnoyingKidNextDoor 2008-04-20 05:55:49 PM  
BlackArt: I think that they need to test School Board members FIRST. Try that out for a few months before testing any more kids.

THIS. I'm all for random drug testing, but it has to include everyone.

/If they did that at my school, the entire school board, the superintendents and a few teachers would need new jobs.
//Or would that just be the stupid test?

 
thenewflesh 2008-04-20 05:56:40 PM  
DulceEtDecorumEst: I think everyone over the age of 14 should be on random testing. Drugs need to be kept out of schools, the workplace, public places, and homes.

Which drugs? Just the ones deemed arbitrarily illegal, or does that include alcohol, caffeine and Advil?

Anyone who thinks prohibition works for anything is an idiot. Anyone who thinks that the world would be a better place without drugs has swallowed the media Kool-Aid good and proper. Maybe you know people who have had bad experiences with drugs? I know people who have had good experiences. SFW?

 
fluffy2097 2008-04-20 05:56:46 PM  
Drug test everyone weekly. The kids, the teachers, the kitchen staff, the bus drivers, everyone.

Drug testing is only fair if it applies to everyone or no one.

 
Juniper Jupiter [recently expired TotalFark] 2008-04-20 05:57:30 PM  
Man On Fire: How the hell would drugs help you on the speech team?

/unless you gave them to the judges.


They would definitely be lifting one eyebrow when the one of the two starts a NORML debate.

/ Hey, today's 4/20!
//Master debaters...hee hee...dude...
///Just so y'all know, never did illegal drugs(not trying to be holier than thou, but when I saw my cancer-riddled mom on painkillers while in highschool, it helped considerably to steer me away from drugs; not a good explanation, but I'm sticking with that), or pot myself, found myself actually allergic to the stuff, but I am for medicinal purposes for others.

 
LikeALeafOnTheWind [TotalFark] 2008-04-20 05:58:02 PM  
just say no to random invasions of privacy.

 
Roman Fyseek [TotalFark] 2008-04-20 05:59:04 PM  
Whee! Lookie what happens when the government runs the schools!

WooHoo!

 
BusHiatler 2008-04-20 05:59:44 PM  
looks like i picked the right day to start doing lsd.

 
Tarkus31 2008-04-20 06:00:23 PM  
I can say from personal experiences that the group that will have the most suspensions etc is the band. Trust me on this. I didnt, well, not until college, but I had quite a few friends in band that did.

 
Bob Ondeeznuts 2008-04-20 06:00:37 PM  
inv: I see nothing particularly bad about this. Kids have no right to use illegal drugs, and in an educational setting there is a heavy interest of the state in maintaining a safe, education-focused environment for all their students.

You're missing the point. This is just another step in having more control in student's lives. Once you start forcing these kids to do these drug tests then something more intrusive could come their way.

What happens if there is a false positive test that comes along and the school has a zero tolerance policy? Then you suspend the kid that had nothing to do with drugs and the child's family is forced to hire a lawyer or just accept the punishment handed down because they can't afford a lawyer. Policies like this try to blanket an entire body of students when only a small minority of students actually use drugs.

Anytime policies like this are thought of the immediate question should be raised is "WHAT'S NEXT". Instead people turn a blind eye for things like this and when they're little snowflake shows up positive they rage and cause all sorts of distractions impeding the flow of the education system.

 
thenewflesh 2008-04-20 06:01:26 PM  
Juniper Jupiter: but when I saw my cancer-riddled mom on painkillers while in highschool, it helped considerably to steer me away from drugs

How was that a bad thing? Do you think your Mom would have been better off without the painkillers for some reason?

Serious question, no snark intended. I'm just wondering how you get from a parent possibly dying from cancer to not liking drugs, when the reason for the drugs would be to help her cope with living?

 
Weaver95 [TotalFark] 2008-04-20 06:03:36 PM  
Bob Ondeeznuts: What happens if there is a false positive test that comes along and the school has a zero tolerance policy?

If the parents are rich, then they can pay enough to clear his name. If the parents are poor, their kid's life is essentially over. Shoot him in the head and make another one.

 
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