The worms play pinochle on your snout

.

Flunk spelling?

I'm going to take a dump on that mulch.

thetheologian: Flunk Funk spelling?

Sorry, pet peeve.

it's all funeral games until a dog digs you up...or a racoon

I say we load all our festering dead onto catapults and launch them over the walls, into the enemy ranks.

(Things aren't good here at the castle.)

Alferd Packer, unavailable for comment.

I think we need more concrete entombments. Just think of the drop in zombies attacking you, cemeteries are goldmines for the zombie horde.

they are mulch?

Approves.

Can I just have my corpse be fed into a woodchipper and turned into mulch, or something?

I really don't care about what happens after I'm dead. After all I'm dead, I won't feel anything.

How about freezed-dried human compost?

Link (new window)

CygnusDarius: thetheologian: Flunk Funk spelling?

Sorry, pet peeve peave.


Sory, pet peave

We Jews simple know these as "funerals."

What happens to the casket? Isn't that supposed to protect you from worms and stuff?

RicosRoughnecks: I think we need more concrete entombments. Just think of the drop in zombies attacking you, cemeteries are goldmines for the zombie horde.

Even idiots know that zombies rising from the grave is impossible. Solanum only infects the living.

EsteeFlwrPot: What happens to the casket? Isn't that supposed to protect you from worms and stuff?

Actually, your as your body decomposes, it generates a LOT of gas. Frequently caskets break open.

EsteeFlwrPot: What happens to the casket? Isn't that supposed to protect you from worms and stuff?

Ughh shame on you for bringing logic to fark...

Well lah-dee-dah, it's 2008 BC all over again.

/History repeats itself
//But when it does we still brag about how awesome we are

What about folks like me, who just wanna be tossed into a smelter? No funeral, no wake, nothing. Hell, I figure if I'm literally on my last legs (as in just barely walking), I'll shuffle my dying ass over the scaffolding myself, and make it look like an accident! Take THAT, anti-euthanasia activists!!!

All I want is for the Coffin they bury me in to be COFFIN SHAPED! None of this nondescript oblong box BULLSHAT!



/NOW THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKIN BOUT

Squidgilum: I say we load all our festering dead onto catapults and launch them over the walls, into the enemy ranks.

(Things aren't good here at the castle.)

Fetchez la vache?

Anyway, that kind of thing only works during plague years. Most dead these days don't have the Black Death. I'll let you know when the Genoese galleons are ready to sail.

I'd like a Viking funeral and I could easily purchase carbon offsets for it, but I'm not sure if my addition of dissolved organic nitrogen to the lake would turn it into a phosphorus-limited ecosystem.

I think it's funny that a homicidal maniac had the common sense to use a push stick. I'm surprised he didn't have safety goggles too.

Honestly I think a dumpster would suit me just fine. However, my dream funeral involves my friends smuggling my body to Mexico and lighting a giant funeral pyre. Then they could roast meat on the same pyre that's burning my body. Maybe dance around it naked while listening to some good Death Metal.

Yeah, that'd be sweet.

I don't care much, incineration is fine with me. Setting aside land for burial is a waste.

I went to my grandfather's gravesite once about 9-10 months after he had died. The grave had caved in and I had to call the cemetary management to have them fill in the hole and level it off. My grandfather's carcass was already long gone and I never felt the need or desire to ever go back there.

Funerals are for the living. Pretty much a waste of time and money for the dead, because they are dead.

Ika7734: EsteeFlwrPot: What happens to the casket? Isn't that supposed to protect you from worms and stuff?

Actually, your as your body decomposes, it generates a LOT of gas.

My body does that NOW. I must be dead. Damn. I'm always the last one to know.

Isn't methane (from decomposition) something like 30 times worse than CO2 in its impact on global warming? Besides, after cremation, many people opt to keep the ashes (pure carbon) in non-degradable vessels, and therefore take it out of the carbon cycle, whereas burying a body would redistribute that carbon to fungi/bugs and onwards back into the system.

/"green" is a marketing gimmick. do your own damn research.

Graveyards are such a waste of space. Cremation should be the mandatory default unless you (or your family) can provide convincing evidence as to why your body is special enough to deserve to tie up a 1x3 meter plot of land in perpetuity.

stiletto_the_wise: Graveyards are such a waste of space. Cremation should be the mandatory default unless you (or your family) can provide convincing evidence as to why your body is special enough to deserve to tie up a 1x3 meter plot of land in perpetuity.

So much for private property or freedom of religion, right?

TFA:According to the Cremation Association of North America, almost 80 per cent of those who died in British Columbia in 2004 were cremated. Victoria is considered the cremation capital of North America, where more than 90 per cent opt for their body to be burned into ash.

It's Canada, they are probably burning them for heat.

Here in enlightened Kentucky, it is perfectly legal to bury a 1800 lb. dead cow four feet beneath the surface of the earth as long as you sprinkle a little lime over it, but you have to embalm dead people and stick them in a coffin and vault of some kind.

We live on a farm with a water well and the neighbor has at least 100 dead cows buried on his place. Always wondered why the water tasted funny. Sheesh!

Ika7734
EsteeFlwrPot: What happens to the casket? Isn't that supposed to protect you from worms and stuff?

Actually, your as your body decomposes, it generates a LOT of gas. Frequently caskets break open.

Oooh. Where does the gas come from? I thought you crap your pants when you die so wouldnt all the gas come out then?

/or is it another type of gas?
//please excuse my ignorance
///my cuteness makes up for it

EsteeFlwrPot: Oooh. Where does the gas come from? I thought you crap your pants when you die so wouldnt all the gas come out then?

Decomposition

Stick me up on a platform for the ravens and crows. Corvids are cool.

Gunny is right. Just the natural process of not being meat anymore. I'm gonna request my left over bits get sent to a med school. I'll be a prime example of what happens when you do the opposite of what medicine tells you to do.

Ika7734: Gunny is right. Just the natural process of not being meat anymore. I'm gonna request my left over bits get sent to a med school. I'll be a prime example of what happens when you do the opposite of what medicine tells you to do.

Here in TN we have a farm where they bury bodies so that police recruits can see varying degrees of decomposition. Link (new window) That might be much cooler.

Saw a special on this a while back. Its actually kind of neat, you're buried in a standard biodegradable wood box or sackcloth, seeds are planted above your body for your tree of choice, a small plaque is placed above your burial site. As your body decomposes, it provides nutrients for the tree (as the natural state of things should be).

/seems allot more useful that your body becomes plant food instead of sitting there in the ground untouched or being burnt and released into the atmosphere.

I'm not dead yet.

I'm gonna bury Mr. Larj butt end up so I've got a place to park my bike when I visit him.

Green burials complete with methane are still leaving less of a carbon footprint than traditional methods.

Promessa

The REAL wave of the future.

There's no reason we need to chalk ourselves full of nasty chemicals so we can look like we're alive for 100 years.

A good 99% of all funerals are done in sufficient time that you won't even have to worry about decay.

I want to be feed to sharks, when I die.

deevo: I'd like a Viking funeral and I could easily purchase carbon offsets for it, but I'm not sure if my addition of dissolved organic nitrogen to the lake would turn it into a phosphorus-limited ecosystem.

You can only get a Viking funeral if you're a Level 2 Employee.

/Obscure?

I can think of no better end in life than providing fertilizer for growing flowers.

Did not read the article

Did not read the thread


I have made it clear to my family I want a green burial. Organs donated, no embalming, buried only in a shroud, with a simple stone as my marker.

That's how I want to be buried.

Funerals are stupid.