If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.
Fark SearchWeb Fark

         more options... Create account

(Google) Cool Eco-friendly funeral proponents claim they're mulch better for environment, keep water tables formaldehyde-free, produce great worms for fish bait   (canadianpress.google.com) divider line 61
More: Cool  
•       •       •

3543 clicks; posted to Main » on 20 Apr 2008 at 8:02 PM   |  Make this a Fark FavoriteFavorite    |   share: Share on OMGTWITTER WEB2.0share on StumbleUponshare on Facebook  more»   |    Get this fabulous T-Shirt and impress the methane out of your friends! shirt it!

61 Comments   (+0 »)


Archived thread
First | « | 1 | 2 | » | Last | Show all
 
DistendedPendulusFrenulum 2008-04-20 05:35:30 PM  
The worms play pinochle on your snout

.

 
thetheologian 2008-04-20 08:05:43 PM  
Flunk spelling?

 
Funk Brothers 2008-04-20 08:06:31 PM  
I'm going to take a dump on that mulch.

 
CygnusDarius [TotalFark] 2008-04-20 08:06:36 PM  
thetheologian: Flunk Funk spelling?

Sorry, pet peeve.

 
Eat The Placenta 2008-04-20 08:07:16 PM  
it's all funeral games until a dog digs you up...or a racoon

 
Squidgilum 2008-04-20 08:08:36 PM  
I say we load all our festering dead onto catapults and launch them over the walls, into the enemy ranks.

(Things aren't good here at the castle.)

 
simpsonfan 2008-04-20 08:09:04 PM  
Alferd Packer, unavailable for comment.

 
RicosRoughnecks 2008-04-20 08:09:09 PM  
I think we need more concrete entombments. Just think of the drop in zombies attacking you, cemeteries are goldmines for the zombie horde.

 
helix400 2008-04-20 08:13:09 PM  
they are mulch?

 
Phil Herup 2008-04-20 08:17:22 PM  
Approves.

media.npr.org

 
Felgraf 2008-04-20 08:17:23 PM  
Can I just have my corpse be fed into a woodchipper and turned into mulch, or something?

 
Ika7734 2008-04-20 08:17:57 PM  
I really don't care about what happens after I'm dead. After all I'm dead, I won't feel anything.

 
theigorway 2008-04-20 08:19:53 PM  
How about freezed-dried human compost?

Link (new window)

 
Burn14Me 2008-04-20 08:22:07 PM  
CygnusDarius: thetheologian: Flunk Funk spelling?

Sorry, pet peeve peave.



Sory, pet peave

 
Internet Disease 2008-04-20 08:22:32 PM  
We Jews simple know these as "funerals."

 
rcain [TotalFark] 2008-04-20 08:29:19 PM  
It's good to be green, soylently green.

eureka3d.com

 
EsteeFlwrPot 2008-04-20 08:33:48 PM  
What happens to the casket? Isn't that supposed to protect you from worms and stuff?

 
VRaptor117 2008-04-20 08:34:43 PM  
RicosRoughnecks: I think we need more concrete entombments. Just think of the drop in zombies attacking you, cemeteries are goldmines for the zombie horde.

Even idiots know that zombies rising from the grave is impossible. Solanum only infects the living.

 
Ika7734 2008-04-20 08:35:25 PM  
EsteeFlwrPot: What happens to the casket? Isn't that supposed to protect you from worms and stuff?

Actually, your as your body decomposes, it generates a LOT of gas. Frequently caskets break open.

 
Burn14Me 2008-04-20 08:36:03 PM  
EsteeFlwrPot: What happens to the casket? Isn't that supposed to protect you from worms and stuff?

Ughh shame on you for bringing logic to fark...

 
dfacto 2008-04-20 08:36:49 PM  
Well lah-dee-dah, it's 2008 BC all over again.

/History repeats itself
//But when it does we still brag about how awesome we are

 
AirForceVet [TotalFark] 2008-04-20 08:37:30 PM  
You mean I didn't need the wood chipper?

www.destgulch.com

 
Juniper Jupiter [recently expired TotalFark] 2008-04-20 08:42:57 PM  
What about folks like me, who just wanna be tossed into a smelter? No funeral, no wake, nothing. Hell, I figure if I'm literally on my last legs (as in just barely walking), I'll shuffle my dying ass over the scaffolding myself, and make it look like an accident! Take THAT, anti-euthanasia activists!!!

 
Now I Is! 2008-04-20 08:44:56 PM  
All I want is for the Coffin they bury me in to be COFFIN SHAPED! None of this nondescript oblong box BULLSHAT!

www.pushindaisies.com

/NOW THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKIN BOUT

 
Gyrfalcon [TotalFark] 2008-04-20 08:48:54 PM  
Squidgilum: I say we load all our festering dead onto catapults and launch them over the walls, into the enemy ranks.

(Things aren't good here at the castle.)


Fetchez la vache?

Anyway, that kind of thing only works during plague years. Most dead these days don't have the Black Death. I'll let you know when the Genoese galleons are ready to sail.

 
deevo 2008-04-20 08:49:14 PM  
I'd like a Viking funeral and I could easily purchase carbon offsets for it, but I'm not sure if my addition of dissolved organic nitrogen to the lake would turn it into a phosphorus-limited ecosystem.

 
No Such Agency 2008-04-20 08:53:11 PM  
www.destgulch.com

I think it's funny that a homicidal maniac had the common sense to use a push stick. I'm surprised he didn't have safety goggles too.

 
airencracken 2008-04-20 08:54:05 PM  
Honestly I think a dumpster would suit me just fine. However, my dream funeral involves my friends smuggling my body to Mexico and lighting a giant funeral pyre. Then they could roast meat on the same pyre that's burning my body. Maybe dance around it naked while listening to some good Death Metal.

Yeah, that'd be sweet.

 
skwerl 2008-04-20 08:56:54 PM  
I don't care much, incineration is fine with me. Setting aside land for burial is a waste.

I went to my grandfather's gravesite once about 9-10 months after he had died. The grave had caved in and I had to call the cemetary management to have them fill in the hole and level it off. My grandfather's carcass was already long gone and I never felt the need or desire to ever go back there.

Funerals are for the living. Pretty much a waste of time and money for the dead, because they are dead.

 
Danger Avoid Death 2008-04-20 08:57:53 PM  
Ika7734: EsteeFlwrPot: What happens to the casket? Isn't that supposed to protect you from worms and stuff?

Actually, your as your body decomposes, it generates a LOT of gas.


My body does that NOW. I must be dead. Damn. I'm always the last one to know.

 
i ate my crayon 2008-04-20 09:01:14 PM  
Isn't methane (from decomposition) something like 30 times worse than CO2 in its impact on global warming? Besides, after cremation, many people opt to keep the ashes (pure carbon) in non-degradable vessels, and therefore take it out of the carbon cycle, whereas burying a body would redistribute that carbon to fungi/bugs and onwards back into the system.

/"green" is a marketing gimmick. do your own damn research.

 
stiletto_the_wise 2008-04-20 09:08:13 PM  
Graveyards are such a waste of space. Cremation should be the mandatory default unless you (or your family) can provide convincing evidence as to why your body is special enough to deserve to tie up a 1x3 meter plot of land in perpetuity.

 
Internet Disease 2008-04-20 09:21:39 PM  
stiletto_the_wise: Graveyards are such a waste of space. Cremation should be the mandatory default unless you (or your family) can provide convincing evidence as to why your body is special enough to deserve to tie up a 1x3 meter plot of land in perpetuity.

So much for private property or freedom of religion, right?

 
Gunny Walker 2008-04-20 09:22:44 PM  
TFA:According to the Cremation Association of North America, almost 80 per cent of those who died in British Columbia in 2004 were cremated. Victoria is considered the cremation capital of North America, where more than 90 per cent opt for their body to be burned into ash.

It's Canada, they are probably burning them for heat.

 
Big_Weener 2008-04-20 09:27:57 PM  
Here in enlightened Kentucky, it is perfectly legal to bury a 1800 lb. dead cow four feet beneath the surface of the earth as long as you sprinkle a little lime over it, but you have to embalm dead people and stick them in a coffin and vault of some kind.

We live on a farm with a water well and the neighbor has at least 100 dead cows buried on his place. Always wondered why the water tasted funny. Sheesh!

 
EsteeFlwrPot 2008-04-20 09:35:59 PM  
Ika7734
EsteeFlwrPot: What happens to the casket? Isn't that supposed to protect you from worms and stuff?

Actually, your as your body decomposes, it generates a LOT of gas. Frequently caskets break open.


Oooh. Where does the gas come from? I thought you crap your pants when you die so wouldnt all the gas come out then?

/or is it another type of gas?
//please excuse my ignorance
///my cuteness makes up for it

 
Gunny Walker 2008-04-20 09:41:32 PM  
EsteeFlwrPot: Oooh. Where does the gas come from? I thought you crap your pants when you die so wouldnt all the gas come out then?

Decomposition

 
cynicalbastard 2008-04-20 09:56:39 PM  
Stick me up on a platform for the ravens and crows. Corvids are cool.

 
Ika7734 2008-04-20 09:57:01 PM  
Gunny is right. Just the natural process of not being meat anymore. I'm gonna request my left over bits get sent to a med school. I'll be a prime example of what happens when you do the opposite of what medicine tells you to do.

 
Gunny Walker 2008-04-20 10:02:22 PM  
Ika7734: Gunny is right. Just the natural process of not being meat anymore. I'm gonna request my left over bits get sent to a med school. I'll be a prime example of what happens when you do the opposite of what medicine tells you to do.

Here in TN we have a farm where they bury bodies so that police recruits can see varying degrees of decomposition. Link (new window) That might be much cooler.

 
SAN66 2008-04-20 10:16:21 PM  
Saw a special on this a while back. Its actually kind of neat, you're buried in a standard biodegradable wood box or sackcloth, seeds are planted above your body for your tree of choice, a small plaque is placed above your burial site. As your body decomposes, it provides nutrients for the tree (as the natural state of things should be).

/seems allot more useful that your body becomes plant food instead of sitting there in the ground untouched or being burnt and released into the atmosphere.

 
alacy52 2008-04-20 10:21:45 PM  
I'm not dead yet.

www.achgohairithe.com

 
Larjmarj 2008-04-20 10:22:56 PM  
I'm gonna bury Mr. Larj butt end up so I've got a place to park my bike when I visit him.

Green burials complete with methane are still leaving less of a carbon footprint than traditional methods.

 
The_Time_Master 2008-04-20 10:31:12 PM  
Promessa

The REAL wave of the future.

 
jake3988 2008-04-20 10:31:41 PM  
There's no reason we need to chalk ourselves full of nasty chemicals so we can look like we're alive for 100 years.

A good 99% of all funerals are done in sufficient time that you won't even have to worry about decay.

 
shoracer 2008-04-20 10:34:57 PM  
I want to be feed to sharks, when I die.

 
Juniper Jupiter [recently expired TotalFark] 2008-04-20 10:56:44 PM  
deevo: I'd like a Viking funeral and I could easily purchase carbon offsets for it, but I'm not sure if my addition of dissolved organic nitrogen to the lake would turn it into a phosphorus-limited ecosystem.

You can only get a Viking funeral if you're a Level 2 Employee.

/Obscure?

 
twfeline 2008-04-20 11:08:40 PM  
I can think of no better end in life than providing fertilizer for growing flowers.

 
Jakevol2 2008-04-20 11:21:25 PM  
Did not read the article

Did not read the thread


I have made it clear to my family I want a green burial. Organs donated, no embalming, buried only in a shroud, with a simple stone as my marker.

 
reasonyousmile 2008-04-20 11:27:25 PM  
That's how I want to be buried.

Funerals are stupid.

 
Displayed 50 of 61 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | » | Last | Show all


[Continue Farking]