Way to go Grumpy Troll!

WTF? How did the Beast win?

You know who else liked Milwaukee?



That's right.

That's a lot of categories. I'm sure even the least inspired individual will be able to find *one* beer from all of them that, if liked, designates deficient genes, sub-par intelligence, social ineptitude, a provincial worldview, and general, all-around poopiheadedness.

My personal favorite beer is also on this list, but I liked it before anybody had even heard of it. It's too bad, though, because now that you benighted savages are breathing over it, the delicate and fragile balance of its amazing awesomeness has reached a tipping point. Sadly, I must take my discerning palette elsewhere and leave the rest of you to fight, doglike, over the remaining spoils.

phaedrusiszen: You know who else liked Milwaukee?

Who the hell names their kid "Milwaukee"?

/No idea who he is, but he looks like a pederass.

lerry: /No idea who he is

That's Jeffrey Dahmer.

but he looks like a pederass.

Pretty much. He was a little more hardcore than most.

Category 1: Non-Alcoholic Malt Beverage (21 Entries)

Fail.

Somehow the Dahmer photo took an ordinary beer thread into a whole new dimension of weirdness. So he liked Old Milwaukee huh? Go figure.

I noticed Widmer Heifeweizen took a medal which I cheer them on.

HAhahaha. Steel Reserve got Gold in something.

And, Natty ice had a very respectable Bronze.

I guess you could sample and rank the quality of horse piss too, if you wanted to.


The Dahmer photo is awesome.

Chummer45:
I guess you could sample and rank the quality of horse piss too, if you wanted to.

this - LOL

Woo hoo! Beer snob thread!

Popcorn anyone?

lerry, Milwaukee's Best is The Beast, not Old Milwaukee. By the way, Old Milwaukee isn't made there. It's made by Stroh's in Detroit. The Beast actually is made there by Miller.

Now that we are on the subject of Miller, Lite lost. Ha ha!

That's a lot of categories.

If Old Milwaukee won, I guess they had a, "tastes like piss" category.

zobear: Popcorn anyone?

In a beer thread? You'll have people arguing Redenbacher vs. Pop Secret, soon.

/black popcorn rules

How to Post to a Fark Beer Thread
By Fluff Girl

Reprinted with permission from the Christian Science Monitor

So there you sit on a quiet Sunday, reviewing Fark threads, when up pops a familiar topic: beer. Specifically, the topic of best beers. Of course, some of the more elite Farkers are weighing in on their personal favorites, arguing the merits of the obscure sub-varieties that you have never heard of. You glance dejectedly at the half-empty tall-boy can of Busch Light, and realize that you don't even have enough class to use a coaster. Again, you glance longingly at the beer thread and wish to contribute. What to do?

The answer is alarmingly simple. First, you must emphatically state that all American beer is crap. You may not vary from this rule. It may seem odd that a bunch of monitor jockeys drink nothing but beer that costs ten dollars for a six pack, but don't question this. It's how things are done. Nobody knows why. When you take a guilty look at the cheap beer you are drinking, remember that your Adult Friend Finder profile lists your body type as "athletic." It's kind of the same principle. C'mon. It's the internet.

Then, remember that Google is your friend. You can find the most obscure beer ever, one that is crafted one bottle at a time by a rare sect of hairless trappost monks who are afflicted with both albinism and cryptorchidism, for instance. You may then proclaim that your favorite brew is "Bald Belgian White One-Ball Pale Ale." No one will call you out, because they are busily researching their own favorite beer that is located nowhere near them and they can't afford to drink.

Top off your post with a witty and well-rehearsed bon mot, something along the lines of "I like my beer like I like my women, blonde and yeasty."

Using these simple pointers, you too can become a seasoned beer snob and post with confidence.

Fine print of application: "American Style Light Lager" entry must not exceed $4.50 per six-pack or be served in places other than the VFW or PKA house.

Does Nebraska sell alcohol on Sundays?

/heading up there
//420 baby!
///My town in Kansas does not sell alcohol at liquor stores, but can sell it at a bar....and 14 miles away there is a town that sells it at stores (on sundays)

zobear: Woo hoo! Beer snob thread!

Popcorn anyone?

On it:



El/La Subby™ is technically correct: Old Milwaukee Light did win the American-Style Light Lager.. but, then again, look at the Silver and Bronze Medal winners. I'm a Beer Moron™ and even I know that those beers suck.

Category 63 Bronze: Velvet Merkin

I think I dated her.

FTA:

Bronze Allagash Curieux
Allagash Brewing Co.
Portland, Oregon

Actually, it's the other white Portland.

Good job Montana Brewing Company! Two bronze and a silver for a very small brew pub.

Lived in Billings for a couple of years.

Category 86: American-Style Sour Ale (4 Entries)
Gold No Gold Awarded.


Wow, that's harsh.

Fluff Girl I love you. That made my whole weekend more awesome.

Fluff Girl: How to Post to a Fark Beer Thread
By Fluff Girl

Reprinted with permission from the Christian Science Monitor

So there you sit on a quiet Sunday, reviewing Fark threads, when up pops a familiar topic: beer. Specifically, the topic of best beers. Of course, some of the more elite Farkers are weighing in on their personal favorites, arguing the merits of the obscure sub-varieties that you have never heard of. You glance dejectedly at the half-empty tall-boy can of Busch Light, and realize that you don't even have enough class to use a coaster. Again, you glance longingly at the beer thread and wish to contribute. What to do?

The answer is alarmingly simple. First, you must emphatically state that all American beer is crap. You may not vary from this rule. It may seem odd that a bunch of monitor jockeys drink nothing but beer that costs ten dollars for a six pack, but don't question this. It's how things are done. Nobody knows why. When you take a guilty look at the cheap beer you are drinking, remember that your Adult Friend Finder profile lists your body type as "athletic." It's kind of the same principle. C'mon. It's the internet.

Then, remember that Google is your friend. You can find the most obscure beer ever, one that is crafted one bottle at a time by a rare sect of hairless trappost monks who are afflicted with both albinism and cryptorchidism, for instance. You may then proclaim that your favorite brew is "Bald Belgian White One-Ball Pale Ale." No one will call you out, because they are busily researching their own favorite beer that is located nowhere near them and they can't afford to drink.

Top off your post with a witty and well-rehearsed bon mot, something along the lines of "I like my beer like I like my women, blonde and yeasty."

Using these simple pointers, you too can become a seasoned beer snob and post with confidence.

I am intrigued and would like to subscribe to your newsletter.

/hmm beer
//no beer until after finals, though
///bought a large bottle of very strong IPA and a T-bone steak for the occasion
//now all I need is a woman of similar quality to complete the evening
/who can appreciate the slashies

I always imagine the judging at things to follow a distinct pattern.

Judges after beer #1: Mmmmm interesting aroma, flavourful, lovely colour. Overall I believe this to be an excellent beer.

Judges after beer #246: Dis has got great stink! You wanna know . . . you wanna know . . . SHUT UP! You wanna know . . . uh . . . I like this one.

Well said Fluff Girl!
It's beer. Drink it. Get drunk.
The pendulum does seem to be swinging to a detached sort of cynical sanity though, and that's gotta be a good thing. Too bad we can't apply it to more than beer threads.

Free samples or it's not real.

Category 43: Belgian-Style Pale Ale
Gold No Gold awarded.

The winner was disqualified after testing positive for steroids.

When I was 16-18 I used to drink Old Milwaukee. In my area the stuff was knicknamed "Old Swill". It was cheap and got you drunk quick.

Believe me, that stuff tastes almost as bad coming back up as it does going down.

Harpoon UFO Hefeweizen FTW (It took silver in the Hefeweizen category.

Huh. Morimoto's beers took gold and bronze. Interesting.

The only thing lamer/sadder than a beer snob is a vinyl snob. Usually, they are one in the same: basement dweller, no g/f, etc.

Fluff Girl: How to Post to a Fark Beer Thread
By Fluff Girl

Reprinted with permission from the Christian Science Monitor

So there you sit on a quiet Sunday, reviewing Fark threads, when up pops a familiar topic: beer. Specifically, the topic of best beers. Of course, some of the more elite Farkers are weighing in on their personal favorites, arguing the merits of the obscure sub-varieties that you have never heard of. You glance dejectedly at the half-empty tall-boy can of Busch Light, and realize that you don't even have enough class to use a coaster.

I have a completely empty can of Busch Light right next to my computer. No coaster either.

I'm disappointed that they get rid of the American-Style Malt Liquor category. Olde English 800 won the Gold back in 1996.

Category 11: Other Low Strength Ale or Lager (15 Entries)


Silver Polygamy Porter
Utah Brewers Cooperative
Salt Lake City, Utah

Wrong on SO many levels.

Category 25: Dortmunder/European Style Export or German-Style Oktoberfest/Wiesen (Meadow) (48 Entries)

Bronze Llano Lager
SandLot Brewery
Denver, Colorado

Sandlot Brewery is run by Ad Coors Company, as is Blue Moon. In its defense, the actual Sandlot Brewery IS very small.
Not sure where Blue Moon is brewed.

Category 85: American-Style Brown Ale (30 Entries)

Bronze biatch Creek
Grand Teton Brewing Co.
Victor, Idaho

Not a brown ale fan, bought a six pack once just for the name. Good beer!

My beer is not on the list only because the brewers are too snobbish to enter something so common as a "contest".

Hell. Now I want a beer and the liquor stores are closed on Sunday!

aevert: Fluff Girl: How to Post to a Fark Beer Thread
By Fluff Girl...

THIS

Fluff girl:

You have made my day. If your ever in BC, Ill buy you a Maudite and some fondue you have to order a day in advance!

Shifty

If old Dahmer was still alive he could have supplied the snacks for the judges :)

I didn't know I had such a discerning taste in beer when I was in college. Looks like the top three prove I'm a beer aficionado. Seriously. Where do these categories come from? Is a "specialty lager" a euphemism for "tastes like piss and will make your girlfriend puke on you"?

Category 35: American-Style Specialty Lager (28 Entries)

Gold Steel Reserve, Miller Brewing Co., Milwaukee, Wisconsin

Silver Busch Ice, Anheuser-Busch Inc., St. Louis, Missouri

Bronze Mickey's Ice, Miller Brewing Co., Milwaukee, Wisconsin

Almost noon on a Sunday, beer thread, time to start on the Beast Ice case in the fridge.

/Gotta wash down the leftover bacon pizza

Went to a show at the Rock'n'Roll Hotel Friday & noticed that the plastic cups they give out for water (but nothing else) have Pabst Blue Ribbon designs on them.

Close enough.

Well the categories become so subdivided that if you branch into something completely esoteric you might be guaranteed a place. Something like Turkish style pistachio hash Imperial pale stout deserves a category perhaps.

Did anybody else get excited going through that winners' list?

It's like ... beer pr0n.

Fluff Girl: How to Post to a Fark Beer Thread
By Fluff Girl

Reprinted with permission from the Christian Science Monitor

So there you sit on a quiet Sunday, reviewing Fark threads, when up pops a familiar topic: beer. Specifically, the topic of best beers. Of course, some of the more elite Farkers are weighing in on their personal favorites, arguing the merits of the obscure sub-varieties that you have never heard of. You glance dejectedly at the half-empty tall-boy can of Busch Light, and realize that you don't even have enough class to use a coaster. Again, you glance longingly at the beer thread and wish to contribute. What to do?

The answer is alarmingly simple. First, you must emphatically state that all American beer is crap. You may not vary from this rule. It may seem odd that a bunch of monitor jockeys drink nothing but beer that costs ten dollars for a six pack, but don't question this. It's how things are done. Nobody knows why. When you take a guilty look at the cheap beer you are drinking, remember that your Adult Friend Finder profile lists your body type as "athletic." It's kind of the same principle. C'mon. It's the internet.

Then, remember that Google is your friend. You can find the most obscure beer ever, one that is crafted one bottle at a time by a rare sect of hairless trappost monks who are afflicted with both albinism and cryptorchidism, for instance. You may then proclaim that your favorite brew is "Bald Belgian White One-Ball Pale Ale." No one will call you out, because they are busily researching their own favorite beer that is located nowhere near them and they can't afford to drink.

Top off your post with a witty and well-rehearsed bon mot, something along the lines of "I like my beer like I like my women, blonde and yeasty."

Using these simple pointers, you too can become a seasoned beer snob and post with confidence.



To be fair, it's extremely rare when someone posts something to the effect of "all American beer is crap". Most of the time, the "best" beer posted is actually an American craft beer.

If you're gonna try to be clever, at least try to be somewhat correct, mmmkay?

Thanks!

phaedrusiszen: You know who else liked Milwaukee?

Japan makes an oyster beer? And it's apparently good? I want to try this.

Fluff Girl: How to Post to a Fark Beer Thread
By Fluff Girl

Reprinted with permission from the Christian Science Monitor

You can find the most obscure beer ever, one that is crafted one bottle at a time by a rare sect of hairless trappost monks who are afflicted with both albinism and cryptorchidism, for instance. You may then proclaim that your favorite brew is "Bald Belgian White One-Ball Pale Ale."

It's trappist.

I buy Miller/Bud cause it's cheap and gets me drunk. But that doesn't mean I can't also have a well developed beer pallette, at least for what I like. Trappist ales ARE awesome.

More stunning to me than the Old Mil Light win was the Natural Light bronze.

Natural Light is the preferred 12-pack of the homeless people who live outside my building. No, really.

Fluff Girl: How to Post to a Fark Beer Thread
By Fluff Girl

Reprinted with permission from the Christian Science Monitor

So there you sit on a quiet Sunday, reviewing Fark threads, when up pops a familiar topic: beer. Specifically, the topic of best beers. Of course, some of the more elite Farkers are weighing in on their personal favorites, arguing the merits of the obscure sub-varieties that you have never heard of. You glance dejectedly at the half-empty tall-boy can of Busch Light, and realize that you don't even have enough class to use a coaster. Again, you glance longingly at the beer thread and wish to contribute. What to do?

The answer is alarmingly simple. First, you must emphatically state that all American beer is crap. You may not vary from this rule. It may seem odd that a bunch of monitor jockeys drink nothing but beer that costs ten dollars for a six pack, but don't question this. It's how things are done. Nobody knows why. When you take a guilty look at the cheap beer you are drinking, remember that your Adult Friend Finder profile lists your body type as "athletic." It's kind of the same principle. C'mon. It's the internet.

Then, remember that Google is your friend. You can find the most obscure beer ever, one that is crafted one bottle at a time by a rare sect of hairless trappost monks who are afflicted with both albinism and cryptorchidism, for instance. You may then proclaim that your favorite brew is "Bald Belgian White One-Ball Pale Ale." No one will call you out, because they are busily researching their own favorite beer that is located nowhere near them and they can't afford to drink.

Top off your post with a witty and well-rehearsed bon mot, something along the lines of "I like my beer like I like my women, blonde and yeasty."

Using these simple pointers, you too can become a seasoned beer snob and post with confidence.

That's awesome.

Dogfish received only one? Damn East German judge.