"$63,000,000,000 billion dollars"



Approves

"Defendants put me in prison. I face imminent danger from violent inmates who played Grand Theft Auto who will knock me out and take my gold Jesus cross."

You and me both, brotha.

If I was a higher-up at Rockstar Games, I would make it an extremely high priority to build into the next release a mission where the player could break into a prison and get bonus points for finding the inmate with the golden cross and taking it by whatever means necessary.

Since when did Jack Thompson get sent to jail?

If they're in prison and violent from playing GTA, your gold Jesus cross would have been gone a long time ago there, buddy.

And how are they going to be playing GTA4 in prison anyway? Day pass to wait in the preorder line?

that was 63,000,000,00 dollars. Get your commas right.

$63 quintillion? My word.

Martha Stuart? ?

FTFA He's also unsuccessfully sued Martha Stuart, New England Patriots coach Bill Belichick, President George W. Bush, Steve Jobs and Britney Spears, according to cited entries on Wikipedia.

Do you guys remember when being a reporter meant fact gathering and checking to an extent bigger than a middle school student's hand written essay?

"$63,000,000,000 billion dollars" ?

= $63,000,000,000,000,000,000.00

betona: "$63,000,000,000 billion dollars" ?

= $63,000,000,000,000,000,000.00

this. beat me to it.

Pocket Ninja: If I was a higher-up at Rockstar Games, I would make it an extremely high priority to build into the next release a mission where the player could break into a prison and get bonus points for finding the inmate with the golden cross and taking it by whatever means necessary.

THIS!

He's just pissed because he'll be rotting behind bars on April 29th while many of us are enjoying GTA IV. Heck i'd be lashing out too.

He probably won't score any cash, but he got more attention from protesting drugs and violence in the game than anyone else would have. Maybe money wasn't his ambition.

$Texas

I can't wait for Amazon to ship GTA IV, along with Mass Effect (do any of you Farkers like that game?). Hopefully, IV will improve on San Andreas, which I thought was a letdown. It was the first GTA I didn't complete. The eating aspect, workouts, swimming practice and the long drives through the middle of nowhere killed that game.

He must be a libtard, because he does blames others for the crimes that he committed. Of course, he is not responsible for his own actions. Stupid libtards.

I have to sympathize with Micheal Vick. First the racist white government puts him in jail because whites are jealous of his success and then someone tries to sue him while he is in jail.

"... who will knock me out and take my gold Jesus cross."

Translation: I like it in the ass, but jesus doesn't approve.

jayrman123: He must be a libtard, because he does blames others for the crimes that he committed. Of course, he is not responsible for his own actions. Stupid libtards.

You're seriously going to start this? On a sunday? In a GTA thread? Come on.

Pocket Ninja: If I was a higher-up at Rockstar Games, I would make it an extremely high priority to build into the next release a mission where the player could break into a prison and get bonus points for finding the inmate with the golden cross and taking it by whatever means necessary.

A+++++++ would read again

betona: "$63,000,000,000 billion dollars" ?

= $63,000,000,000,000,000,000.00

Close but no cigar.

"$63,000,000,000 billion dollars =
$63,000,000,000,000,000,000.00 dollars"

I'm not sure what a $ dollar is (or is that $dollar).

how many brazillions is that? like 3?

While it goes without saying that I don't criticize Fark for greenlighting the thread ("it's not news") I really wish the press would not give publicity to this kind of crap, it just encourages other inmates who need a hobby to seek publicity by abusing the court system.

skinink: I can't wait for Amazon to ship GTA IV, along with Mass Effect (do any of you Farkers like that game?). Hopefully, IV will improve on San Andreas, which I thought was a letdown. It was the first GTA I didn't complete. The eating aspect, workouts, swimming practice and the long drives through the middle of nowhere killed that game.

I too am incredibly excited for IV. Mass Effect was great (any game that allows hot lesbian alien sex has my vote). But it was shorter than I had hoped, but the combat system is very nice, and from what I've seen, the combat system in IV is going to be very nice as well.

/9 DAYS!

Jonathan Lee Riches is hilarious. As far as I can tell from reading his suits, the guy is intelligent, funny, and bored as hell from sitting in prison. I wish this story had linked the actual case, because we're probably missing the best parts.

Check out Link (new window) for a mostly-complete archive of his suits.

By the way, suing Michael Vick for $63,000,000,000 billion wasn't the highlight of that suit. Riches claimed that Vick had stole his (Riches') pit bulls, removed the tracking implants, fought them, and then attempted to trade them for Iranian missiles.

I... I have to admit, I feel a little left out. I mean, the guy hasn't tried to sue me yet.

Why is he allowed to have a gold Jesus cross?

Yogimus: Why is he allowed to have a gold Jesus cross?

Because Silver and Bronze Jesii aren't strong enough to save souls in federal penitentiaries. For prisoners and politicians, you need the full cleansing strength of Gold Jesus.

Miett: I... I have to admit, I feel a little left out. I mean, the guy hasn't tried to sue me yet.

And what have you done that he should sue you for?

Quantumbunny: FTFA He's also unsuccessfully sued Martha Stuart, New England Patriots coach Bill Belichick, President George W. Bush, Steve Jobs and Britney Spears, according to cited entries on Wikipedia.

Do you guys remember when being a reporter meant fact gathering and checking to an extent bigger than a middle school student's hand written essay?

THIS.

/also, was I the only one who read "Defendant's game show sex"?

For some reason I can't find him in the SC inmate data base. I was really wanting to post a pic..

Anyone who names the Ming Dynasty as a defendant in a lawsuit has my immediate admiration.

Some of his earlier work:

(PC)Jonathan Lee Riches vs. Randy Weaver, et alOctober 4, 2007October 15, 2007
Plaintiff sued Randy Weaver, Vicki Weaver, Kevin L. harris, Lon T. Horiuchi and Arthur Roderick for "Shooting My Mind to Death."

Plaintiff alleged that Randy Weaver was after him because plaintiff had a computer affair with Vicki Weaver on internet chat lines. Randy Weaver alleged then hired sharp shooters to surround FCI Williamsburg to scope out plaintiff's life. Plaintiff stated that he had survived 628 assassination attempts in the last 6 months. Plaintiff also charged that Randy Weaver killed an FBI analyst in front of Home Depot and whose murder was blamed on John Muhammed. Plaintiff also alleged that Randy Weaver killed Michael Jordan's father, as well as President Kennedy. Plaintiff added that Weaver wants him to wear lipstick and name change to Victoria Weaver II.

Wow. That's a lot of money! $63,000,000,000 billion dollars? If this wasn't after the year 2000 thousand, I would be surprised. Well, it's nearly 1:00 o'clock. I have a 100 hundred things to do.

"I face imminent danger from violent inmates who played Grand Theft Auto who will knock me out and take my gold Jesus cross."

FEELS HIS PAIN

On a side link from that article, I just found out that Emma Watson turned 18 a few days ago. You Farkers let me down! I was at least expecting some sort of countdown, Fark party, etc.

$63 billion, billion dollars = $63 brazillion dollars.

Seriously, though-this guy has filed dozens, if not hundreds of these type of lawsuits. The judge in Jack Thompson's case issued a ruling that he was not allowed to file anything on his own-it must be filed by another (hopefully sane) licensed attorney before the clerk would accept it.

Why doesn't a Federal judge simply assign someone from the Federal Defender's to him, and require that any lawsuits filed by this guy must have the FD's signature too?

My guess is that the cheapest way to deal with him is to have a nice, large stack of pre-signed Rule 12 orders (i.e. Dismissed for failure to state a claim upon which relief can be granted) in a folder at the clerk's office, filed under "Riches."

TripSixes: that was 63,000,000,00 dollars. Get your commas right.

Right after you get that zero problem in check.

I tried to take $63,000,000,000 billion dollars out of the ATM machine once, but it didn't work. Maybe I got the PIN number wrong. Or perhaps it was too many digits for the LCD display to show.

FTA:

" This isn't the first time that Riches has filed a lawsuit from prison. Riches sued suspended NFL quarterback Michael Vick last year for "$63,000,000,000 billion dollars," alleging Vick had ties to Al Qaeda. He didn't win. He's also unsuccessfully sued Martha Stuart, New England Patriots coach Bill Belichick, President George W. Bush, Steve Jobs and Britney Spears, according to cited entries on Wikipedia."

While in prison for fraudulently stealing money, he continues his shenanigans of trying to scam more people.

/I thought inmates dont have rights?
//Why are they still taking him seriously?

Nick Nostril: $63 billion, billion dollars = $63 brazillion dollars.

What is that, about 100 Canadian?

Riches v. Joel et alOctober 3, 2007October 5, 2007

Plaintiff alleged that defendant Billy Joel the Singer is his step-father, and sent him to defendant Vision Quest Psychiatric Facility in Franklin, Pennsylvania. Plaintiff alleged that Vision Quest forced him to sleep in teepees with no UFO radar defense system. Plaintiff also alleged that Italian hitmen made him sign an omerta silence oath, Vision Quest made him travel around the country in horse and buggies like the Amish, and "We Didn't Start the Fire" was in the stingrays head when it killed the croc master Steven Irwin.

Pocket Ninja: If I was a higher-up at Rockstar Games, I would make it an extremely high priority to build into the next release a mission where the player could break into a prison and get bonus points for finding the inmate with the golden cross and taking it by whatever means necessary.

If it gets enough publicity they just might.

Noggy: Riches v. Joel et alOctober 3, 2007October 5, 2007

Plaintiff alleged that defendant Billy Joel the Singer is his step-father, and sent him to defendant Vision Quest Psychiatric Facility in Franklin, Pennsylvania. Plaintiff alleged that Vision Quest forced him to sleep in teepees with no UFO radar defense system. Plaintiff also alleged that Italian hitmen made him sign an omerta silence oath, Vision Quest made him travel around the country in horse and buggies like the Amish, and "We Didn't Start the Fire" was in the stingrays head when it killed the croc master Steven Irwin.

LOOOOL, that really made my day. Bless ye pilgrim.

The main thing I'm excited about in GTA IV is the potential to enter any building. I read an article in a gaming mag a few months back and that is what they were hinting at. I don't know how many times I saw an interesting house or store and couldn't enter it in other GTA games, so I'm hoping this is true.

Raines8416: FTA:

" This isn't the first time that Riches has filed a lawsuit from prison. Riches sued suspended NFL quarterback Michael Vick last year for "$63,000,000,000 billion dollars," alleging Vick had ties to Al Qaeda. He didn't win. He's also unsuccessfully sued Martha Stuart, New England Patriots coach Bill Belichick, President George W. Bush, Steve Jobs and Britney Spears, according to cited entries on Wikipedia."

While in prison for fraudulently stealing money, he continues his shenanigans of trying to scam more people.

/I thought inmates dont have rights?
//Why are they still taking him seriously?

They aren't. He's just having some fun, and probably working on a book of these things to release when he is. Every time one of these gets into the mainstream media, he gets a little more publicity. Don't hate him, he's getting ahead the American way.

aglassonion: On a side link from that article, I just found out that Emma Watson turned 18 a few days ago. You Farkers let me down! I was at least expecting some sort of countdown, Fark party, etc.

I know someone who's friends with her. I've been trying to get him to set me up.

This is why inmates should not be allowed to file any type of legal action unless it directly pertains to the crime they are incarcerated for. They should also not be allowed to file legal actions themselves, instead, a family member should have to file it. Its one thing for these assholes to take up court time, cost, and tax money filing these with no retribution for wasting everything, but itd another if they have to get Mom and Dad or Grandma involved. Then, to seal the deal, make it a crime akin to filing a false police report to file a frivolous lawsuit. What's the definition of frivolous? Suing Billy Joel, the Ming Dynasty, Michael Vick, pretty much everything this guy does.