BOOOOO!
*rattles chains*

FTA...At 10:10 a.m. April 11, an unknown person cut the vinyl top of a woman's car in the 30800 block of 8th Avenue SW, and gained access to the vehicle. All belongings inside the car had been gone and the total damage for the vehicle was about $1,200.


Federal Way cops spek Engrish rel gud.

Sounds like the ghost of a Texas ladies man.

I hope they're not looking for a movie deal.

At the same time? What are the odds of a ghost being a millionaire?

bmr68: I hope they're not looking for a movie deal.

I totally forgot about that.

bmr68: I hope they're not looking for a movie deal.

damn, you beat me to it.

that movie rocked when I was a kid.

Now, not so much.

Demetrius: Sounds like the ghost of a Texas ladies man.

[shakes fist at being beaten to the reference]

Ghost?!

I thought you said "Goat!"

Was he big?

I came for The Entity reference. I was not disappointed.

Just because something leaves white, sticky stuff all over you, doesn't mean it was a ghost.

Freaking polygamists. Even in the afterlife, Malachai?

/Horny devils.

Ghost cock? It's deeper than wide, I'm betting.

GAT_00 - Just because something leaves white, sticky stuff all over you, doesn't mean it was a ghost.


Damn you, Uncle Gerald!!! I wondered why we hadn't gone to his funeral...

Paging "Holy Ghost" to the beige courtesy phone.

/royalties to Bar Kays

• At 9:09 p.m. April 10, a man received a call at his house located in the 33600 block of 38th Avenue South from an unknown business location, asking him why he hadn't paid for a "girl on girl" porn service from April 9. They also told him that he owed a "guy on guy" service from Feb. 26. At this point, the man said that he laughed because he thought the call was absurd, but then the person on the line said that it wasn't a joke and that he better pay. The case is under investigation.

lol.

Did you see the spooky ghost?

Who you gonna call?

slobarnuts: • At 9:09 p.m. April 10, a man received a call at his house located in the 33600 block of 38th Avenue South from an unknown business location, asking him why he hadn't paid for a "girl on girl" porn service from April 9. They also told him that he owed a "guy on guy" service from Feb. 26. At this point, the man said that he laughed because he thought the call was absurd, but then the person on the line said that it wasn't a joke and that he better pay. The case is under investigation.

lol.
Yeah, that was my favorite part.

"Well, I might have forgotten to submit for the Asian Lesbian Nurse Hot Tub Party, but I definitely didn't subscribe to the Oiled Up Italian Stallion 1-4 series."

/not that there's anything wrong with that

You don't go to the cops because of an incubus. You go to a priest.

"At 6:31 a.m. April 7, in the 1900 block of SW 356th Street, two men were strangely wandering around their house. One was wearing a tank top and pants, yelling that he was hearing and seeing things outside. He was saying that people were stealing from him, and was pointing at his garage. Police said that the man appeared to be paranoid and delusional, and that he was living in filth, utilizing the stove as heat. The other man was running around the yard with a hammer."

That is AWESOME.

This has to be a shenanigans news site.

I know small towns are weird, but this place is like that show Eureka.

Hector Remarkable: You don't go to the cops because of an incubus. You go to a priest stock up on energy drinks and enjoy the ride.

FTFY.

Casper the Horny Ghost, indeedy.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Carla_Moran

I'd like to perform some gynecological exams on the mother.

/But hey, who wouldn't.

Superman's flying around metropolis and he's horny as hell. He's checking out the rooftops and all of a sudden he sees Wonder Woman sunning herself on the roof of the Justice League. I mean she is lying there buck naked and spread eagle. Looks like she wants to get farked right? So Superman starts thinking to himself, "Man I gotta get myself some of that wonderpussy." and then he realizes that he can fly down, do a little fast pumping and be gone before she even sees him. Because he's Superman. he's faster than a speeding bullet, right? So Superman, he swoops down, he farks her so quick, she doesn't even see him. Wonderwoman sits up and says, "What the fark was that?" and The Invisible Man says "I don't know but my asshole is killing me."

Occam's Chainsaw: Hector Remarkable: You don't go to the cops because of an incubus. You go to a priest stock up on energy drinks and enjoy the ride.

FTFY.

Perhaps for a succubus, but the penis of the incubus is said to be ice-cold. I'm sure the women must have mentioned this to the police in their report, along with why they didn't report the being after the first time.

Gadren

That's not a ghost. It's an anaphasic lifeform!

See, there's hope for some of you guys in the after life.

/ducks

To the dumbass in this escapade:

Apply flour.
Find the wet spot.
You are supposed to apply the flour to the fatties, not to yourself.

sincerely;
Farkers

technicolor-misfit: GAT_00 - Just because something leaves white, sticky stuff all over you, doesn't mean it was a ghost.


Damn you, Uncle Gerald!!! I wondered why we hadn't gone to his funeral...


Those two comments right there won the thread.

slobarnuts: This has to be a shenanigans news site.

I know small towns are weird, but this place is like that show Eureka.

Shiat, that's a normal day in Federal Way (ok, most of the whole I-5 corridor south of Seattle's like that)

/oh, come on, you know it's true

WrongTrousers: Shiat, that's a normal day in Federal Way (ok, most of the whole I-5 corridor south of Seattle's like that)

Possibly, but nowhere is funnier than that place where this happened:

(Im paraphrasing):

"Police responded to reports of a talking moose head on a telephone pole. The caller complained that the moosehead was harassing passers by. Police arrived and engaged in a conversation with the moosehead. It became apparent to the responding officers that someone was using a two-way communication device. Police pulled the moosehead down"

I wish I could find that blotter.

Hector Remarkable: Perhaps for a succubus, but the penis of the incubus is said to be ice-cold. I'm sure the women must have mentioned this to the police in their report, along with why they didn't report the being after the first time.

And then there's that whole "giving birth to demonspawn" thing that tends to suck.

As to an ice-cold penis: I've known some ladies who were big fans of ice. And this one who liked fire just a little too much...

Not available for comment

moondo: Not available for comment

Too soon?

GHOST BLOW JOB! GHOST BLOW JOB! WOO WOO!

APPROVES (new window)

Hector Remarkable: Perhaps for a succubus, but the penis of the incubus is said to be ice-cold.

For several thousand years of experience, I could deal with cold.

It's Ectoplasm! Did you see the spooky ghost!

I'm just going to have to go ahead and remain dubious.

Sex with a ghost, crazy or prank?

mindsnare: It's Ectoplasm! Did you see the spooky ghost!

Dammit... I was busy hunting for the screencap and you beat me to it.

/shakes fist

YixilTesiphon: "At 6:31 a.m. April 7, in the 1900 block of SW 356th Street, two men were strangely wandering around their house. One was wearing a tank top and pants, yelling that he was hearing and seeing things outside. He was saying that people were stealing from him, and was pointing at his garage. Police said that the man appeared to be paranoid and delusional, and that he was living in filth, utilizing the stove as heat. The other man was running around the yard with a hammer."

That is AWESOME.

I came in to say this.

Incubus,succubus. When I was about 13-14 we had health teachers in school (meaning old bat shiat crazy nuns) using these terms to explain nocturnal emissions and how Satan makes you want to fap. I didn't listen or let it bother me. Just went with the flow. Now you will have to excuse me, I have to go comb my palms.