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(The Weekly Standard) Amusing "The effect is of being strapped to an armchair and dropped backwards off a balcony onto a patio."   (weeklystandard.com) divider line 48
More: Amusing  
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12610 clicks; posted to Main » on 19 Apr 2008 at 11:17 AM   |  Make this a Fark FavoriteFavorite    |   share: Share on OMGTWITTER WEB2.0share on StumbleUponshare on Facebook  more»   |    Get this fabulous T-Shirt and impress the methane out of your friends! shirt it!

48 Comments   (+0 »)


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hosalabad 2008-04-19 11:24:08 AM  
What a corny and pointless article.

 
Selfabortion 2008-04-19 11:25:49 AM  
Interesting article until he started talking about conservatives actually having a sense of humor.

 
NightSteel 2008-04-19 11:27:45 AM  
More big machines, less hero worship, plzkthx.

 
albo [TotalFark] 2008-04-19 11:29:24 AM  
Selfabortion: Interesting article until he started talking about conservatives actually having a sense of humor

conservatives have a great sense of humor. i'd put pj o'rourke up against any progressive humorist, and he'd knock them off the field. lileks is hilarious. chris buckley. jonah goldberg. larry miller.

 
rsparks4t 2008-04-19 11:29:38 AM  
One must first understand that the writer is P. J. O'Rourke.

 
lcmino 2008-04-19 11:35:26 AM  
I had to take a break after the 87th metaphor. That was an overworked piece of crap. You don't have to compare everything to something else. If you need to fill space steal a page or two from wikipedia it would make for an easier read.

 
Nightmaretony 2008-04-19 11:37:14 AM  
At first fromt he headline, I thought subby was talking about this:

www.twistedrails.com

 
farbles 2008-04-19 11:41:05 AM  
Jeez, has PJ O'Rourke turned into an ass. It was an interesting article until all these bizarre Republican allusions started appearing. Then the article became nothing but bizarre Republican allusions and I had to stop reading.

FAIL.

 
dougfm 2008-04-19 11:43:23 AM  
"24 hours on the big stick"

Sounds like something starring Jenna Jameson

 
Jack Acid [TotalFark] 2008-04-19 11:48:10 AM  
God has given America a special mission. Russia can barely blow up Chechnya. China can blow up Tibet, maybe, and possibly Taiwan. And the EU can't blow up Liechtenstein. But the USA can blow up ... gosh, where to start?

Ah good to see Manifest Destiny is still alive...

 
derek20cali 2008-04-19 11:49:24 AM  
hosalabad: What a corny and pointless article.

lcmino: I had to take a break after the 87th metaphor. That was an overworked piece of crap. You don't have to compare everything to something else. If you need to fill space steal a page or two from wikipedia it would make for an easier read.

farbles: Jeez, has PJ O'Rourke turned into an ass. It was an interesting article until all these bizarre Republican allusions started appearing. Then the article became nothing but bizarre Republican allusions and I had to stop reading.

FAIL.


Selfabortion: Interesting article until he started talking about conservatives actually having a sense of humor.

Sounds like conservatives aren't the only ones lacking a sense of humor.

 
lcmino 2008-04-19 11:52:30 AM  
dougfm: Sounds like something starring Jenna Jameson

Wel she did recently delve into the arena of political films.
Her latest work: Link (new window) In some article I can't find anymore she claimed it contained a lot of subtext about the Bush administration.

 
Gunz_drawn 2008-04-19 11:53:12 AM  
I was more interested in the swim at home ad.

 
bobfo rapples 2008-04-19 11:57:10 AM  
img232.imageshack.us

/why so syriana?

 
lcmino 2008-04-19 11:57:39 AM  
derek20cali: Sounds like conservatives aren't the only ones lacking a sense of humor.

Looks like some dickhead is trying to put words in my mouth. It's a shiattily written article, I did not comment on the political leanings of the author. I actually agree with most of the points he finally got around to making after his hamhanded attempts at metaphor and simile.

//usually labelled conservative
/prefers to vote the issues instead of throwing his allegiance behind someone based on what type of animal they pin to their suit

 
JWideman 2008-04-19 11:58:18 AM  
That whole article was just to give John McCain a blowjob?!? Hell, I got disabled aboard a carrier, where's MY blowjob?

 
lcmino 2008-04-19 12:00:08 PM  
JWideman: That whole article was just to give John McCain a blowjob?!? Hell, I got disabled aboard a carrier, where's MY blowjob?

I'm pretty sure you were supposed to pick those up in any foreign ports you disembarked at for a can of coke and a VHS tape from 1993.
They throw VD in for free, can't beat that deal.

 
TheReij [TotalFark] 2008-04-19 12:08:55 PM  
So, when is the US Navy trifecta coming into play?

 
apsparky 2008-04-19 12:22:20 PM  
A fine article.

The rest of you make it sound like we should all be reading the Huffington Post ONLY.

Fark that... there are good stories to be told from ALL political persuasions.

Tell me another story.

 
mad8vskillz 2008-04-19 12:24:30 PM  
NightSteel: More big machines, less hero worship, plzkthx.

+1

 
Accolade 2008-04-19 12:36:35 PM  
albo: chris buckley. jonah goldberg. larry miller.

Who?

 
BuckTurgidson 2008-04-19 12:37:35 PM  
farbles: Jeez, has PJ O'Rourke turned into an ass. It was an interesting article until all these bizarre Republican allusions started appearing. Then the article became nothing but bizarre Republican allusions and I had to stop reading.

FAIL.


He used to write primarily to entertain, and was awesome at it.

Now he gives primacy to political water-bearing, and he's not only not as entertaining, but you still can't take his political points seriously.

Damn shame.

 
coprolite 2008-04-19 12:39:54 PM  
Been there done that.

What a pissy pussy.

Man up Nancy C.O.D. landings are more like an express elevator.

 
Raging Thespian [TotalFark] 2008-04-19 12:58:33 PM  
DRTFA, is he talking about a pangalactic gargleblaster?

 
Generation_D [TotalFark] 2008-04-19 01:00:55 PM  
PJ O'Rourke in the 70s and 80s .. hilarious

nowadays .. not so much.

 
derek20cali 2008-04-19 01:04:58 PM  
lcmino:
Looks like some dickhead is trying to put words in my mouth. It's a shiattily written article, I did not comment on the political leanings of the author. I actually agree with most of the points he finally got around to making after his hamhanded attempts at metaphor and simile.


*Hugs* Cranky McCrankybutt

 
Freak Flag Fly [TotalFark] 2008-04-19 01:13:05 PM  
TFA: Given what screw-ups we humans are in these respects, conservatism is also a matter of sense of humor.

Yep. The last seven years have been the most elaborate practical joke ever played.

Well done, sirs. Well done.

 
malibupetey 2008-04-19 02:05:46 PM  
FTFA: "But the USA can blow up ... gosh, where to start?"

How about the News Corporation headquarters?

 
bigfatdave 2008-04-19 02:10:41 PM  
FTFA:
Living space is as cramped as steerage on the way to Ellis Island. Even the pilots live in three-bunk cabins as small and windowless as hall closets.
Say what?
Carriers are roomy, go ride an attack submarine and tell me about cramped.

Also, I'd like to jump on the "WTF? That whole article was just to give John McCain a blowjob???" wagon.
Two pages of drivel and bad metaphors. Who describes steel cables as "the size of pepperoni"? Give me a diameter in inches and/or centimeters, or I will mock your silliness by demanding to know exactly what kind of pepperoni.

 
serpent_sky [TotalFark] 2008-04-19 02:21:45 PM  
I didn't RTA, but I'd just like to say that when my sisters and I were kids, we tried to do just that to our youngest sister. We had a rocking chair, a bunch of belts, and were attempting to hang it over the balcony upside down... when my mom caught us and quickly put an end to that.

We were playing astronauts and wanted her to experience zero gravity.

 
El_Swino 2008-04-19 02:22:52 PM  
Wow, P.J.'s gotten old. I remember when he was one of my favorite writers.

 
Darth Invictus [TotalFark] 2008-04-19 02:23:19 PM  
The other PJ O'Rourke articles linked from that page are much better.

 
Studio Ghibli 2008-04-19 02:38:41 PM  
I didn't read the article, but what if we strapped some buttered bread and a cat to the person on the armchair?

 
Mach10 2008-04-19 03:00:53 PM  
Amuricah, FARK YEAH!

 
El_Dan 2008-04-19 03:06:06 PM  
God has given America a special mission. Russia can barely blow up Chechnya. China can blow up Tibet, maybe, and possibly Taiwan. And the EU can't blow up Liechtenstein. But the USA can blow up ... gosh, where to start?

Could we start with the author of this article?

 
T.M.S. [TotalFark] 2008-04-19 03:29:00 PM  
I have done this thousands of times. No big deal.

/FLYNAVY's alt

 
your grandson Frank 2008-04-19 03:46:28 PM  
Jaysus. If he crawls any farther up McCain's bung he's going to be seeing the back of his teeth. I agree that these servicemen are to be respected and admired for what they do, but I don't think that necessarily translates into, many years later, knowing how to lead this country effectively and steer it out of the mess it's in. No number of vivid, reverent analogies is going to convince me of this.

 
RancidOne 2008-04-19 04:02:29 PM  
I've heard a carrier landing can be awesome. My brother flew out to a carrier off the coast and said when you catch the arresting cables you stop in a mother farking hurry.

 
Wareq 2008-04-19 04:26:24 PM  
Thespian
Naw, that's 'having your brains smashed out with a slice of lemon wrapped round a large gold brick.'

 
Riche [TotalFark] 2008-04-19 05:19:40 PM  
Yes, a modern American aircraft carrier is a very impressive thing. They are also crewed with thousands of our nation's best young adults. My hat is off to those people working in a difficult and dangerous environment to serve their country.


Too bad modern weapons and tactics make them little more than gigantic death traps.


Here is another article on how modern carriers are "far more vulnerable" then WWII battleships.

And here is part two of that article.

 
albo [TotalFark] 2008-04-19 05:45:07 PM  
Riche: They are also crewed with thousands of our nation's best young adults. My hat is off to those people working in a difficult and dangerous environment to serve their country.

when i was 19, i was a drunked up dumbass in the service who was a lead op on a piece of intelligence equipment and who on a couple of occasions send national security messages that made it to the white house in 15 minutes.

many of you don't realize what the military can do to a young man and how your security rests in the hands of kids, yes, kids, who if they werent' in the service would be sleeping off a drunk in the local lockup. they are awesome

 
mark12A 2008-04-19 07:07:10 PM  
My favorite is telling noobs that carriers are so big they have a bowling alley on board for crew recreation. Then snicker when they go around the carrier asking crewmen where the bowling alley is...

 
netringer 2008-04-19 07:36:06 PM  
P. J. O'Rourke is teh funnay. Still.

 
Lee451 2008-04-19 10:35:55 PM  
PJ still knows how to turn a phrase. Why the hate for him supporting McCain? Was he supposed to praise the other 2 running against each other? PJ skipped out on going to Vietnam and was man enough to apologize for it, and the thank those who did go. How many other dodgers from that era are man enough to do this? Hillary was in the USSR burning the flag with Bill at that time.


/JWideman, you sound very jealous....

 
EdBear 2008-04-19 10:48:35 PM  
mark12A: My favorite is telling noobs that carriers are so big they have a bowling alley on board for crew recreation. Then snicker when they go around the carrier asking crewmen where the bowling alley is...

I was about to post a snarky political remark about TFA, but your post just left me grinning stupidly.

 
ScubaRaf 2008-04-19 10:54:22 PM  
That was not phrase turning - that was reaching for unfunny metaphors. It made the evening news teaser puns look good.

"... at the speed of celebrity sex rumor ..." PAH-LEESE!

He was much more clever when he lumped all of the good qualities he attributes to McCain and branded them conservative values, as if they were the sole domain of the Republican party. Way to further drive a wedge between Americans who might otherwise respectfully debate or disagree on issues instead of demonizing each other.

Just curious who he was rooting for in the Republican primary before McCain took over...

 
T.M.S. [TotalFark] 2008-04-19 11:30:31 PM  
Lee451: Hillary was in the USSR burning the flag with Bill at that time.


Yes.

That is exactly what they were doing.

 
geetus 2008-04-20 08:28:57 AM  
Gotta love the page break right here:

Landing on an aircraft carrier was the most fun I'd ever had with my trousers

/I just stopped reading there

 
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