submitter has obviously never heard of Neil Peart.

Drummer Joke Time!

Q: What do you call someone who hangs out with musicians?
A: A drummer.

Q: What's the difference between a drummer and a large pizza?
A: A large pizza can feed a family of four.

What did the drummer get on his IQ exam?
Drool.

Dead snake in the road. Dead drummer in the road. What's the difference?
The snake may have been on his way to a gig.

What's the drummer say on his last night with the band?
"So, guys, I wrote some songs."

What does a drummer use for birth control?
His personality.

RocketRod: Drummer Joke Time!

How can you tell if the drum riser is level?
The drummer drools evenly out of both sides of his mouth.

How can you tell there's a drummer at the door?
The knocking speeds up.

RocketRod: Drummer Joke Time!

[a handful of drummer jokes]


Kiribub: More drummer jokes]


And here's another joke:

Please don't say this around our drummer. I mean, he's got a doctorate in pharmacology, he teaches MCP pharmacy students at a mental hospital (Shattuck, in Boston)...but please don't make him sound smart.

FriarReb98: doctorate in pharmacology

Yeah, my roommate in college had that, too.

/Wait a second...

What do you call a drummer without a girlfriend?

Homeless.

How do you get a drummer off your doorstep?

Pay for the pizza.

SilentStrider: submitter has obviously never heard of Neil Peart.

Tommy Lee is the yang to that yin.

What do you call a drummer with half a brain?

Gifted.



What's the best way to confuse a drummer?

Put a sheet of music in front of him.

A horn player who had been playing with Buddy Rich for many years came back from vacation to hear a rumor that Buddy had died. He didn't quite believe it, so he phoned Buddy's wife and said "Can I speak to Buddy please?"

Buddy's wife said, "I'm sorry, Buddy passed away last week."

"Oh, I'm sorry to hear that," he said, and hung up.

A couple of hours later, he called her again. "Is Buddy there please?"

"No, I'm sorry. Buddy's no longer with us," said Buddy's wife. And hung up the phone.

Ten minutes later, he called Buddy's wife again. "Can I speak to Buddy please?" he said.

She recognized his voice, and said: "Look, I've told you before, BUDDY'S DEAD!" And slammed down the phone.

Two minutes later, and the phone rang again... "Is Buddy at home please?" the horn player asked.

Buddy's wife was furious. "I'm not going to tell you again, Buddy is dead.. D. E. A. D., DEAD. Why do you keep calling me to ask for Buddy???!!!!"

The horn player replied, .."I just love hearing you say it."

//drumjokes.com
///Father of a drummer
////He's a genius
//I still expect him to live at home til he's 55.

as a drummer...i'm getting a 'kick' out of these replies.

oh...and fark all of you.

-i keed!

Approves:

Q: How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

A: None. We have machines for that now.

What's the difference between a new drummer and a podiatrist?

One of them bucks up your feet...

I played drums for 8 years, and let me tell you farkers something... Drummers, on average, are goddamn retarded.

/National Merit Scholar

When a person can't play an instrument, they take away his horn. They give him 2 sticks and make him a drummer.

When he messes that up they take away one and make him a conductor.

/band geek
//and a drummer

Real Quote from a Farker:

Drummer: 3 kilometers = 4.8 miles


/bassist

Anybody got a video tape of the Animal-Norman Mailer debates? I think it was during Season Three of The Muppet Show and that isn't out on DVD yet.

Nobody has made a Ringo joke yet.

How the mighty art fallen.

the_cnidarian:
What's the best way to confuse a drummer?

Put a sheet of music in front of him.

Actually have seen that happen.

I work with 4 drummers.

For 3 years now, whenever talking about musicians, I always say "musicians and drummers" (in jest, of course), not just "musicians". So far I've only been called on it once ... by one of several guitarists I work with.

"those with the best sense of rhythm also scored highest in the mental assessments."

How exactly does that imply drummers? Sure, they used a drumstick...because everyone knows how to hit a table with a stick, but not everyone can play an instrument properly.

Yeah Keith Moon was known for his massive intellect! Even "Spinal Tap" dismisses drummers.

Interrupted Infinitum: the_cnidarian:
What's the best way to confuse a drummer?

Put a sheet of music in front of him.

Actually have seen that happen.

I have as well.

/Plays the Clarinet
//and the drums (drumbs)

Bruford and Peart nod in agreement.

How can you tell if there's a Greek drummer at the door?
The knocking DOESN'T speed up.

/esoteric

Agrees

This article is nonsense.
Intelligent people are good at keeping a beat =! drummers are intelligent

Drummers like Neil Peart should have some other classification. The word "drummer" by itself doesn't do them justice.

I was once in a band who broke up when our drummer left to study classical piano. He then did a masters in calculus.

Last saw him playing in an indie rock noise band...

Sting just bought a place on Central Park West for $26 million.

Phil Collins just bought a place on Central Park North for $4 million and changed the entire local real estate market as a result.

Unscientific finding: drummers are still smarter than bass players.

A forum thread here collects a bunch of YouTube videos of fantastic drummers. Notables include Bruford, Peart, Carey, Portnoy....

Good drummers are amazing. But most aren't that great.

Humean_Nature: I played drums for 8 years, and let me tell you farkers something... Drummers, on average, are goddamn retarded.

/National Merit Scholar Retard

FTFY, drummer.

I could keep good time too if i didnt have to play actual NOTES!

/favorite drummers this week.. Gil Sharone, Bobby Jarzombec, Dave Witte, Jojo Mayer
//could change at anytime

You know, around here we make bass player jokes instead

/because they actually deserve it

MikoSquiz: You know, around here we make bass player jokes instead

/because they actually deserve it

Quiet you.

From my experience, drummers are spastic lunatic alcoholics with ADHD and impulse control issues. This often leads to poorly thought out choices in tattoos, haircuts, girlfriends, and driving one's car into a swimming pool.

It's about time somebody noticed!!

Ahem. Come back here and say that, subby. We dare you.

Back in college, some friends of mine had a band, and after
a year or so the bassist & drummer left.

They found a new bassist pretty quickly, but had a helluva time
finding a drummer, so much so that my friend wrote a song called
"Every Drummer Wants to be Stuart Copeland", which summed up their
travails pretty neatly.

/Stuart Copeland is a genius

In my old band, I was the only one in the band who graduated college.

/Drummer....and proud of it!

.


wait.... so people that can bang a stick on a rock in time with another tempo...

are smarter than those that cannot ?

the_cnidarian: What's the best way to confuse a drummer?

Put a sheet of music in front of him.

Sadly, This is no lie.

FunkOut: From my experience, drummers are spastic lunatic alcoholics with ADHD and impulse control issues. This often leads to poorly thought out choices in tattoos, haircuts, girlfriends, and driving one's car into a swimming pool.

or in my world...a typical Saturday night after a gig.
/drummer
//D.J.
///College Grad
////Currency Trader

Wait, didn't Bill Ward invent the hovercraft?

Ok, I'll try:
"Knock, knock"
"Who's there"
"Ringo's best drum solo".


brantgoose: Nobody has made a Ringo joke yet.

How the mighty art fallen.

Ex-drummer.