"Will you marry me, I'd like to become president."

"Why do you stay married to a man who cheats on you every chance he gets?"

"Who has the bigger arse? You or Anna Nicole"

"Even you can't stand Barbra Streisand, can you?"

"Will Chelsea fight the Bush Twins in a No Holds Barred Handicap match at the next Summerslam?"

Will you have an affair with me?

"He cheated on you with Monica Lewinsky and flashed Paula Jones...my question is...what kind of horrible disfigurement are you hiding, that measures you with them, not that you're hot or anything, but those two could make a moose look apealing? I'm guessing you're a hermaphrodite."

"If you were forced to choose between the 2, would it be Bush or Dick?"

"You must not know how to give good head. Let me train you. On me."

Does he ever invite you to watch?

What do Bills lips taste like ?

"Have you had sex will Bill Clinton, since the whole cigar incident?"

"Have you ever heard of Amway?"

Speaking hypothetically who would you rather wake up next to: Bush or Gore?

"Elizabeth Dole says she can kick your ass, any comment?"

"Will this administration ever bring the Hamburgler to justice?"
and remember, nothing can kill the Grimace.

How do you sleep at night knowing your party's attempt at "helping" underpriviliged sections of our society atually do more harm than good?

Why do the Democrats continually cause reliance on social programs? Is it because they want to keep their voting base large?

do you feel it is your fault for not keeping bill satisfied enough?

Do you like cigars?

How do you keep your horns from jutting through your forehead?

Due to your overwhelming support in a state you did not even live in, do you plan on running for Sadam's position when we finish him off?

"If you are elected president, will you refer to Bill as the "First Lady?'"

What were you doing in your "home state" during 9/11?

Didn't see much of you.

"Will you sign my cigar?"

"Were you privy to any of the talks in which then-President Clinton committed treason by leaking nuclear technology to the Chinese in exchange for cash?"

How's it feel to eat GOP dust?

If you had it to do all over again, would you still have Vince Foster offed in a park, or would you just wait and put him on Ron Brown's flight?

is it true a secret security agent had to break up a fight between you and Bill ('cuz you were winning)?

Could your ankles possibly get any fatter? It looks like there is bread dough rising up in your shoes.

"If you come in contact with water, do you melt?"

"Why do they put a BOOBIES tag on SFW links ?"

"Can I borrow ten bucks?"

"When are you planning on returning the White House furniture?"

"Let me see if I get the arrangement straight Senator Clinton: I vote for you, and in return you'll make sure that the government steals enough money on my behalf--from people who actually work--to allow me to stay home, smoke crack, and masturbate all day? Do I get a picture of you to go with it? I'll need some spanking material.

"How much chutzpah does it take to try to nationalize the entire health-care industry even though you had no elected power while simultaneously making money on insider trades on that industry's stock?"

"How does it feel to be the Senator who voted 'yes' to more spending bills than any other, despite the fact that tax revenues are down?"

"Does it bother you to have no connection to New York other than carpetbagging your way there to trade on Bill's name to get elected to the Senate?"

"What were you doing in Vince Foster's office before investigators got there?"

"Boxers or briefs?"

Woman, where the hell is my beer?

"How much damage can you do to an apple with those chompers?"

When voting to enact laws do you think to yourself "There is another one I'm going to break"?

Shadoe- Those aren't very funny.

Vote for me if you agree.

"are you getting tired of all the survey and advice submissions on fark?"

I said, where the hell is my beer, biatch? Now go make me a pot pie!

"This is just a speech...what's with all the lawyers?"

Shadoe- Those aren't very funny.

No, they're accurate. They're not intended to be funny.

"Was it all worth it?"

What do you get if you multiply six by nine?

"Where's all the "W's" from the keyboards?"

...Hillary ensues...

"Getting any?"

HERE'S what I would ask.....

"Mrs. Clinton, would you hit it?"


Ya-di-dah-di-dah-aah... ya-da-dah-di-dee...!

ill have to print all these out and take them with me when she comes here

You weren't always a chick? I'm you were once a dude right?
($5 to the first person to find the correct quote)

"I see you got elected. How does it feel to be soul-less?"

Darn, Nabl... I was going to say "How did you manage to make Vince foster look like a suicide?" You have a great mind.

"Do you believe the Democratic party platform has any core values that are not based simply on current polling data? And if so, would anyone except a politician in the Democratic party find these values totally asinine?"