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(Westword) Sad Coors shortens brewery tour... they never showed you the peeing horses anyway   (blogs.westword.com) divider line 81
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8858 clicks; posted to Main » on 13 Apr 2008 at 9:27 PM   |  Make this a Fark FavoriteFavorite    |   share: Share on OMGTWITTER WEB2.0share on StumbleUponshare on Facebook  more»

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strangeguitar 2008-04-13 06:07:04 PM  
Accurate and funny.
/+1

 
zymurgist 2008-04-13 06:20:17 PM  
FTA:

Oh, and one last thing that probably won't change: this wisdom from the world-weary shuttle driver who takes slightly tipsy visitors back to the parking lot - "Don't forget your ABCs. Always buy cases. Always buy cold. Always buy Coors."

Who gets "slightly tipsy" on three 8 ounce beers?

 
oldebayer [TotalFark] 2008-04-13 08:39:15 PM  
But those horses produce the main flavoring agent for the beer.

 
wwffan7385 2008-04-13 09:29:19 PM  
Horse piss trifecta in play.

 
simpsonfan 2008-04-13 09:31:11 PM  
Busch used to have Busch Gardens here in Los Angeles. Brewery tour, bird shows. Jerks closed it.

 
skinink 2008-04-13 09:34:04 PM  

 
mddawso 2008-04-13 09:34:05 PM  
I just wonder how they get the carbonation in there.

 
Farkeologist [TotalFark] 2008-04-13 09:34:13 PM  
upload.wikimedia.org

 
saluteyourshorts 2008-04-13 09:34:31 PM  
I wonder if anyone will say that he/she find Coors to be a low quality beer...

 
ultraholland 2008-04-13 09:34:38 PM  
They use these same horses here at the Virginia brewery to ensure a consistent, refreshing piss flavor and feel.

 
granolasteak [TotalFark] 2008-04-13 09:35:11 PM  
I remember going w/ my dad on brewery tours...back when we were given "Dixie cup" size drinks of beer. And squashing pennies in the "flat brewery penny" machine. And driving home with my (techically impaired) father.

/Olympia, WA, military brat ftw

 
jdmac 2008-04-13 09:35:39 PM  
www.beeristheanswer.com

 
Akbar the Trappiste Monk 2008-04-13 09:36:11 PM  
Oh boy...another beet thread.

/Coors Light is like drinking water
//DO NOT WANT

 
yelmrog 2008-04-13 09:36:13 PM  
I can has beer snob thread?

 
RoyBatty 2008-04-13 09:36:34 PM  
It was terribly sad in Van Nuys when Busch Gardens stopped their tours. Right across the street from Busch Gardens is a Tommy's. I still go for the Tommy's when I'm in town.

 
Akbar the Trappiste Monk 2008-04-13 09:36:58 PM  
*beer

HA! That was funny.

 
jdmac 2008-04-13 09:38:17 PM  
yelmrog: I can has beer snob thread?

beerinfood.files.wordpress.com
here ya go, lets get this started

 
smells_like_meat [TotalFark] 2008-04-13 09:38:23 PM  
Akbar the Trappiste Monk: Oh boy...another beet thread.

/Coors Light is like drinking water
//DO NOT WANT


Well, beets are good for you and have many interesting industrial uses.

What's wrong with another beet yhread?

 
ill_83 [TotalFark] 2008-04-13 09:38:38 PM  
Your beer sucks and tastes like piss. Mine is superior, because you've never heard of it.

 
dstanley 2008-04-13 09:40:14 PM  
I liked getting the "freshest possible Coors" about halfway through the tour.

 
Your wife makes great pancakes 2008-04-13 09:45:32 PM  
smells_like_meat: Akbar the Trappiste Monk: Oh boy...another beet thread.

/Coors Light is like drinking water
//DO NOT WANT

Well, beets are good for you and have many interesting industrial uses.

What's wrong with another beet yhread?


Ooooh... Grammar Nazis now need Grammar Nazis of their own.

 
yelmrog 2008-04-13 09:47:25 PM  
My beer could totally beat the hell out of yours. It's so dark and overwhelmingly hoppy that I had to train my palate for ten years just so I could drink it.

 
akula 2008-04-13 09:49:30 PM  
Wow... that's a lame tour. Budweiser may not be anywhere near Bass or other good beers, but they stick with good quality tours, with real tour guides, and no candy ass limit on the number of free beer.

Hey, Colorado: St. Louis' beer tour kicks your ass.

 
smells_like_meat [TotalFark] 2008-04-13 09:50:45 PM  
Your wife makes great pancakes: smells_like_meat: Akbar the Trappiste Monk: Oh boy...another beet thread.

/Coors Light is like drinking water
//DO NOT WANT

Well, beets are good for you and have many interesting industrial uses.

What's wrong with another beet yhread?

Ooooh... Grammar Nazis now need Grammar Nazis of their own.


t is next to r and y is next to t

 
Death by Misadventure 2008-04-13 09:53:22 PM  
Seriously, why the hell would anybody besides frat boys and red necks drink coors?

 
JonnyBGoode 2008-04-13 09:54:41 PM  
dstanley: I liked getting the "freshest possible Coors" about halfway through the tour.

You never questioned why the tap was so hairy?

 
UnoriginalAndrew 2008-04-13 09:55:35 PM  
As a beer lover who has limited funds, and not a true snob, I actually kinda like Coors. I buy good beers and have one or two of those, then I'll switch to Coors as my session beer.

 
Atypical Person Reading Fark [TotalFark] 2008-04-13 09:57:41 PM  
Coors is good for pouring half a can in chile.

Or chile con carne.

 
blacksho89 2008-04-13 09:58:48 PM  
I went to high school in Golden, when you could still drink at 18.
Made tha "short tour" evr dam lunch hour ma seenyor year.

/now I tour the Avery brewery. Full pints, lots of hops, lots of alcohol.

 
orangehat 2008-04-13 09:59:26 PM  
The irony for me is that I am reading all of these comments while drinking Coors, and having lived within 30 miles of the factory all of these years, I never bothered to go check it out.

Although it seems to me like as far as cutting costs go, this was an easy choice.

 
m053486 2008-04-13 10:00:03 PM  
I work in a bar not far from the Coors brewery in Virginia, and have consequently worked a handful of private parties for Coors/Molson execs. One time one of them shared the following gems with me:

Q: What do Coors Lite and having sex in a canoe have in common?

A: Both are farking close to water.

He also said this while drinking said beverage, so go figure.

 
sluglife 2008-04-13 10:00:33 PM  
Shh.. I'm imagining beating farkers over their heads with their obscure beer of choice while chugging mass-produced swill and watching it pour down my neck and arms into their caved-in skulls.

 
nusyguy 2008-04-13 10:02:19 PM  
I like factory tours and especially like brewery tours. After taking in Coors I had altitude sickness, threw up tons and my friends thought it was the Coors.
\I'll probably still go back.
\\But not for the Blue Moon stuff.

 
tharealmegaman 2008-04-13 10:08:56 PM  
Let's leave Killian's and Blue Moon out of this!

 
GoodOmens 2008-04-13 10:15:46 PM  
zymurgist: FTA:

Oh, and one last thing that probably won't change: this wisdom from the world-weary shuttle driver who takes slightly tipsy visitors back to the parking lot - "Don't forget your ABCs. Always buy cases. Always buy cold. Always buy Coors."

Who gets "slightly tipsy" on three 8 ounce beers?


Several girls I know.

 
boluke01 2008-04-13 10:18:47 PM  
I spent some time in Bavaria and it absolutely ruined me. With their purity law, the beer is incredible, even what they refer to as "crap beer" is miles above the good stuff here in the states. Thankfully, I do live in the land of micro-brewery's, so it is still possible to get good beer every once in a while.

/Still drink Coors at the hockey game
//doesn't seem right if I don't
///Go AVS!

 
phikapmchugh 2008-04-13 10:19:34 PM  
Going back to death by misadventure's comment, i'm a fraternity guy and I won't touch this llama piss

 
BuzzBoy 2008-04-13 10:22:33 PM  
"My beer could totally beat the hell out of yours. It's so dark and overwhelmingly hoppy that I had to train my palate for ten years just so I could drink it."

I never could train my palate to drink a loaf of bread.

/toured Busch / Tampa twice
//toured COORS three times
///prefer regular COORS over Lite

 
GunshipPolitico 2008-04-13 10:23:39 PM  
Ahh the Coors Tour, Friday after class, Thursday for lunch
Monday lunch is for GCB
Good Times, piss-poor, but free, beer.

 
Infinite Monkeys In Front Of A Computer [TotalFark] 2008-04-13 10:24:53 PM  
Akbar the Trappiste Monk: Oh boy...another beet thread.

imagecache2.allposters.com

FACT: Betacyanin in beetroot may cause red urine

 
FlyingJ 2008-04-13 10:27:07 PM  
RoyBatty& simpsonfan Most famous ex-employee of that Budweiser Van Nuys Brewery; (Roscoe & the 405)
img405.imageshack.us
/Bruce was working security there when "Evil Dead 2" came out
//drove in from Chino Hills, the poor s.o.b.
///guy who works there was saying he's pretty legendary now

 
tjadavis 2008-04-13 10:29:05 PM  
Subby owes me a new keyboard.....

/current one now covered in Champagne of Beers..
//likes slashies longer than comment

 
Mister Peejay 2008-04-13 10:39:54 PM  
skinink: You know who else had shortened tours of various industrial plants?

Willy Wonka?

/oompa loompa doopity dis, you won't see the room full of horses that piss
//oompa loompa doopity dat, we'll show you a lot but we won't show you that

 
Boxlkr 2008-04-13 10:45:03 PM  
I've been to the brewery a few times but I have never taken the tour. All you have to do is ask for the short tour when they scan your ID then go to the second floor to the tasting room and gift shop.

 
0x1a4 2008-04-13 10:46:34 PM  
you know, as much fun that is made of the "american lager" style, from a brewing standpoint, it's one that can really show poor quality in the process. Off flavors are much more apparent than an IPA for example. That being said, I'd prefer an IPA over a Coors anytime. But still, They do make a quality product for what it is.

/drive past Coors brewery a few times a month
//no desire to see a tour
///but not a beer snob, just like other beer much more
////Dam Brewery EPA FTW!!!

 
Bukharin [TotalFark] 2008-04-13 10:53:39 PM  
0x1a4: it's one that can really show poor quality in the process. Off flavors are much more apparent than an IPA for example.

When your goal is a bland tastless beverage that noone can possibly take offense at,
all flavours, off or 'on,' are much much more apparent.

 
rka 2008-04-13 10:58:01 PM  
As long as Coors keeps the mash tuns and bottling lines on the tour it still is 100x better than that craptastic Guinness tour.

The only place you see actual beer at Guinness is waiting in line with all the drunken Euro teenagers to get your "free" (ha!) pint.

OVERRATED.

One of the best parts of the Coors tour back in the day was maybe seeing one of the crazy Coors family members when they still lived on the brewery property.

Both Coors and Budweiser (plant up in Ft. Collins) really emphasized the *making* of beer, whereas the Guinness tour seemed to only care about how to sell it to you.

 
CaptainFatass 2008-04-13 11:00:11 PM  
simpsonfan Quote 2008-04-13 09:31:11 PM
Busch used to have Busch Gardens here in Los Angeles. Brewery tour, bird shows. Jerks closed it.


It still exists, in a much smaller and less awesome form, in another part of the city. Huell Howser did an episode about it.

 
PawisBetlog 2008-04-13 11:01:16 PM  
UnoriginalAndrew: As a beer lover who has limited funds, and not a true snob, I actually kinda like Coors. I buy good beers and have one or two of those, then I'll switch to Coors as my session beer.

If the good beers really are good two will give you a healthy buzz.

On a related note, I highly recommend the Anchor brewery tour if you find yourself in San Francisco. It is free, but call well in advance to make a reservation.

All their beers are awesome, but Liberty Ale is the flagship IMHO.

 
TheGreatGazoo 2008-04-13 11:02:45 PM  
One fun alcohol tour is Jack Daniel's. You can't drink any, but by the time you complete the tour you won't need any (you'll be high from fumes).

 
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