My anti-theft plan. Drive a car not worth stealing, don't leave the keys in the ignition.

I chuckled...

He is being charged with protecting his belongings. Such bullshiat.

I'm pretty sure everyone in that article is doing it wrong.

"Accidentally" hit them in the head with a golf club? Right. Good thing he didn't have a gun.

Please tell me that the last thing that kid heard was "FORE!" and the sound of a niblick whooshing through the air.

/bonus points if the guy nailed him, held his hand up to shade his eyes, then looked to the horizon and muttered "shanked it!"

Haha, the stupid little shiat won't be stealing anything for a while.

"Teen Assaulted with Golf Club" is TFA's title. In Texas, it would've been "Car Owner Thwarts Thief". And I'd agree with the latter more than the former, despite both headlines being true.

hey, I was always heard that if you use The Club you are supposed to put it on backwards, or have it facing awway from you, on the steering wheel.

is that true? (have never had one)

Dumbass should have planted a weapon. Self Defense!

Best Anti Theft Device: No Car. The thief would have to give you a car to steal it.

Runner Up: Death trap in the driver's seat. Just don't forget about that pesky 6" spring loaded razor at kidney height when you get in.

Honorable Mention: Rabid monkey in the trunk.

And a Rampage for Tommy Vercetti is completed.

"i parked it over here, it should be saf-ahhh shiat!"

Dumbass teen probably looking for drug money.

Golf clubs plus head shot can be death, or even worse from a liability point of view, brain injuries. Should have gone for the knees

A few years ago, I chased off a guy rumaging around in my daughter's van in my building's parking lot. Having a 2½' long Roman sword in my hand gave him great incentive to run.

My son later asked me not to do it again, as he was afraid I'd end up as a Fark headline.

I'm a car thief who only steals cars when he sees them with The Club installed, so I'm really getting a kick out of these replies.

Approves:

Picture of hero:

The club only stops the rookies. Putting on backwards stop reall bad rookies.
Putting it on backwards makes it harder to 'pull' the lock cylinder.

But a hacksaw will cut through most steering wheels.

dlwhite: The club only stops the rookies. Putting on backwards stop reall bad rookies.
Putting it on backwards makes it harder to 'pull' the lock cylinder.

But a hacksaw will cut through most steering wheels.

And there's a $50 tool that repo guys use that acts like a flywheel puller, specifically designed to snap The Club right off.

To do the job right, get the right tools.

Jason Crump, from his myspace:



I can see why he didn't get away when he ran.

Police have charged Gregory with assault.

Sigh.

Even better...

Frank, Ed, you might want to see this.
We're testing a prototype for a new anti-carjacking device.
You'll get to see how it works.
- Get out! - No.
Don't make me use...
"The Denver Jockstrap".

-Naked Gun 33 1/3

I want one

"Protecting your belongings" does not extend to chasing a fleeing, emptyhanded would-be thief down with a golf club and smacking him in the head. You do not have to right to inflict corporal punishment on someone if no one is in danger.

Enemabag Jones: Golf clubs plus head shot can be death, or even worse from a liability point of view, brain injuries. Should have gone for the knees

I'd go for a shot in the ribs but given that I think the guy may be telling the truth about it being an accident

Hero tag anyone?

The only crime here is that the little shiat didn't get hit several more times.

/Wishes more thieves got clubbed
//not in head though
///hope this kid has a headache that lasts the rest of his life...
////Slashies are fun!

Definitely should have just smoked him in the side or the knee.

I always wonder though, is beating the shiat outta a would-be robber only giving him an incentive to come get revenge, only this time armed with a gun?
Any would-be robbers getting a kick outta the replies and wanting to help me out here?

Club criminals, not seals

This club you speak of, might I have one?

elpepe55: "Protecting your belongings" does not extend to chasing a fleeing, emptyhanded would-be thief down with a golf club and smacking him in the head. You do not have to right to inflict corporal punishment on someone if no one is in danger.

bzzzzzt.... wrong answer, chuckles.

that punk ass got exactly what he deserved.

Open faced club sand wedge...

Police have charged Gregory with assault. He admits hitting the teen but claims it was an accident and that he just meant to scare him.


Yeesh.

I hope the charges get tossed out ASAP.

The more people who are allowed to protect their property, the better.

That guy is a menace to society.

You are supposed to call the police and let them handle it.


That is why the UK is so safe, they have it figured out.

/protecting yourself....not allowed

The_Sponge: The more people who are allowed to protect their property, the better.

Aye. And the more car thieves, muggers, and home burglars that get their brains bashed in the better.
fark them.

GREAT HEADLINE!!! MADE ME LOL!

Police have charged Gregory with assault. However, if he'd have tazed him, 20 times, and killed him, he could have been let off without a warning...


You are supposed to call the police and let them handle it.
I'm sure they'd wait around the car for 40 minutes until the cops showed up... they always do.

lazymojo: GREAT HEADLINE!!! MADE ME LOL!

You're... enthusiastic, huh?

I hate Canadian law. You can't do anything to a criminal to protect your property or yourself. Personally I'd like to see the law changed so that it is legal to beat a thief to the point that THEY call the police for help.

Beat them anyway, and take the assault charge.

I like my sandwiches with three pieces of bread. Frilly toothpicks? I'm FOR 'EM!

Crosshair: My anti-theft plan. Drive a car not worth stealing

There is no such thing.

If it was some 18 + year old guy i'd say "nice swing"

but this kid was 15, and now he's in critical condition? When was that fair punishment for what probably would have resulted in nothing more than petty theft?

DrForrester: Crosshair: My anti-theft plan. Drive a car not worth stealing

There is no such thing.

Wanna bet?

A Mary K pink 1986 Ford Festiva with Type-R stickers and a gay pride door panel.

No, it's not mine. Wish I had gotten a pic that day.

Of course if this had been some 70 year old woman beating the would-be thief with a cane/umbrella we'd all be marching in a parade down farking Main St in her honor and proclaiming her to be a town hero.


/next time finish the job and hide the body better

ahhh..object lesson...hope he didn't bend the club..

Gregory deserves a "Hero" tag and the police should drop the assault charges.

/no mercy for burglars, robbers and car prowlers.

who is really at fault in this situation? the parents of the 2 hooligans who are out trying to break into cars. maybe having to take care of their brain damaged son will convince them to do better with their other kids.

Should've got a trunk monkey instead...

I use The Shield because it looks cool

In Texas you can you someone even if it is to protect your property from getting stolen....