Owe my neck!

I'll take the case!

So long as there's no punitive damages, I think it's OK...

France settles out of court?

Nothing. It' a great idea and I wish it on them at once.

I am an American that has never filed a lawsuit so im really getting a kick...

Can they also include stuff about warning labels?

Otherwise we could have people bathing with hairdryers, forgetting that light bulbs are for external use only, etc.

Can't we just have the state set all the prices? That way we can all have free sunshine, puppies, love, etc.

USCLaw2010: I'll take the case!

A friend has lived in France for three years now.

He says that the best thing about Europe is they don't have warning labels plastered all over everything. There's a reasonable assumption that you aren't a dumbass.

Can I sue them for their stupid ideas?

..?

Wait until you see the result...

What could possibly go wrong?

The price of pants could skyrocket?

European Union style inefficiency + American style lawsuit = End of Western Civilization

/I could be wrong
//hope I'm wrong

kilgorn: ..?

Wait until you see the result...

Americans smile with glee and make franctic reservations to France/UK/Spain/Italy/Germany/Benelux.

lol, have fun with that one.

Since America has adopted Europe's socialist douchebaggery, its only fair that they adopt something back from us.

FTA: Consumers should be able to exercise their legal right to recover billions of euros a year from companies that fix prices and the EU must clear the way, the European Commission said on Thursday.

This is about laying the law on cartels more efficiently. It's not the "I pushed a cheezeburger into my ear so now I'm half deaf. I'm suing McDonalds" clusterfark.

I've seen someone sue a company for a slip and fall, quit work, take disability and then get busted by the insurance company by being caught on camera moving a refrigerator.

oops

LAWSUIT WAR!

CygnusDarius, in case you didnt hear theyre coming out w/ a harvey birdman game thats basically like pheonix wright.

EU wants to allow consumers to file American-style lawsuits. Will someone just tell them not to use the balm?

fixed the headline for your amusement subby

Sorry, I'm kind of uninformed... I was unaware that there was a binding EU court system with jurisdiction over the courts of member nations. Seriously, if this is true, they might as well just make the whole thing one country, to make legal matters less complicated.

/eurasia has always been at war with eastasia

So apparently Zmog and I were the only two to actually read the article...

Gothmolly: Since America has adopted Europe's socialist douchebaggery, its only fair that they adopt something back from us.

Strangely enough, and since it's related, there's more and more US hobos where I live (Mexico).

WTF is this, an exchange program?.

Cyno01: CygnusDarius, in case you didnt hear theyre coming out w/ a harvey birdman game thats basically like pheonix wright.

Really? Awesome!.

Cyno01: CygnusDarius, in case you didnt hear theyre coming out w/ a harvey birdman game thats basically like pheonix wright.

Its been out... for like 2 months... only charged 20 bucks...

It was ok, it really captured the harvey birdman humor, but not the epic stories of Write. Worth the 20 bucks if you enjoy birdman.

Oh, may this never come to realization!
The horror, up until now we are responsible for our own actions.

/expect protests!

I'm thinking there is only 1 reason for this: Microsoft

/ then again, I am a dumb whore

Dr. Nick Riviera: So apparently Zmog and I were the only two to actually read the article...

Even if the intentions now are to stop price fixing, one must remember the honorable intentions with which American consumer-protection laws began. What began as a response to Upton Sinclair's muckraking became the "cheezburger in the ear" example used by Zmog. Similarly, I have a hard time believing that this won't, in 100 years, have dire consequences.

TheQuest35: Its been out... for like 2 months... only charged 20 bucks...

Huh, i guess i didn't get that thing he sent me...

Feldspar Q. Walrustitty Quote 2008-04-06 06:13:19 PM
What could possibly go wrong?

The price of pants EVERYTHING could will skyrocket?


-- FTFY

It's a lot harder not to be a litigious douchebag after going to an American law school. Just in the course of walking down the street or going to your job, you start noticing 30 causes of action a day that you could probably sue on and win in our farked up legal system.

/With great power comes great responsibility.
//With great douchebaggery as well.

Good luck with that, Europe. The mess of lawyers and tort law is part of the fatty excess bogging down our economy, but you go right ahead. The Euro was getting too expensive anyway. It'll be nice to travel to Europe again.

/Wastes of flesh and money, lawyers are. For the most part.

nashBridges: LittleSmitty: I've seen someone sue a company for a slip and fall, quit work, take disability and then get busted by the insurance company by being caught on camera moving a refrigerator.

I work for a larger company and I slipped and fell on a sidewalk after an ice storm this winter (they hadn't put out the salt). Even though I insisted I wasn't hurt, I had to fill out an accident report, go to a doctor to get checked out, and then sign another form that said the company had followed procedure immediately after the fall but that I wasn't waiving liability for a subsequent condition that might arise because of the fall.

I asked my boss what the deal was with all the forms and he said if I didn't file the accident form, they wouldn't pay workman's comp later if I had to take disability. The doctor's visit was required because they had too many people claiming injuries in the past without verification right after the injury happened, and the second form was so the company had proof that there was no immediate injury.

All that trouble and the only thing I was concerned about was the cup of coffee I spilled all over myself when I went down.


My work is almost as bad as yours, sans the "have to go to the doctor" thing. Someone at my work didn't report an accident(they slipped), waited 2 or 3 days to go to the doctor's office, and since they didn't report the incident to HR within one business day, they were pretty much screwed for not following company protocol in a document they signed when they were hired.

Since then, I make my employees and myself report any old stupid thing because... well... you never know when something really minor ends up being a big deal.

/you got a paper cut and it's visible?
//Go report it to HR and waste 30 minutes of everyone's time.
///Just in case... you know...

HMS_Blinkin: Dr. Nick Riviera: So apparently Zmog and I were the only two to actually read the article...

Even if the intentions now are to stop price fixing, one must remember the honorable intentions with which American consumer-protection laws began. What began as a response to Upton Sinclair's muckraking became the "cheezburger in the ear" example used by Zmog. Similarly, I have a hard time believing that this won't, in 100 years, have dire consequences.

Nah, I think we've got more sense than that. Except the Belgians, of course.

/What?

The Grinch: Sorry, I'm kind of uninformed... I was unaware that there was a binding EU court system with jurisdiction over the courts of member nations. Seriously, if this is true, they might as well just make the whole thing one country, to make legal matters less complicated.

/eurasia has always been at war with eastasia

There are two European courts that go over national courts, the European Court of Human Rights and the European Court of Justice. The first is (obviously) for human rights and is valid in the 46 membercountries of the Council of Europe, the second is for disputes about EU dictated laws and valid in the EU.

As far as making it a country, it pretty much already is. There is common foreign policy, central lawmaking, central courts, a bit of common military, free movement of persons and goods over the entire territory, common currency, etc.

The Grinch

Sorry, I'm kind of uninformed... I was unaware that there was a binding EU court system with jurisdiction over the courts of member nations. Seriously, if this is true, they might as well just make the whole thing one country, to make legal matters less complicated.

Veni, vidi, vinci.

Cerebral Ballsy: Good luck with that, Europe. The mess of lawyers and tort law is part of the fatty excess bogging down our economy, but you go right ahead. The Euro was getting too expensive anyway. It'll be nice to travel to Europe again.

/Wastes of flesh and money, lawyers are. For the most part.

I've come to view lawyers as standing over a large pool that is the US economy with pool skimmers, casually skimming money off of the top of other people's labors wherever they can, contributing nothing of value to the pool themselves, just casually taking, taking, taking because they think it's what they deserve.

I swear to God when you look in a lot of corporate law aspiring law students' eyes you can see the actual greed in them, as if it were a physical condition. I've met both the best and the worst people of my life in law school. There are lawyers who genuinely want to make the world a better place and do so, but the vast majority are just money-sucking whores. There is no legitimate reason for going into corporate law unless you just want to be rich. None. I'm not saying wanting to be rich is necessarily a terrible thing in itself, but know that if somebody is a corporate lawyer, money is all that they care about. Period.

"EU wants to allow consumers to file American-style lawsuits. What could possibly go wrong?"

The EU becomes like the overly litigious "You're never too old to be a precious snowflake" United States?

/my first guess

Wait, I thought the EU was perfect and that the American way of doing things was barbaric and obsolete.

The European system is too much like the Aussie system where large companies are immune to lawsuits since they simply tell the judge "they can't pay our legal fees if they lose, please dismiss the case" and the company can keep on doing whatever it was with legally granted impunity. And Aussies are more likely to sue each other than people in NY or California but they do it via "tribunals" yet they seem to have a distaste for lawsuits against companies that are just being evil since suing them is "too American".

Hey, I hate lawyers as much as anyone - but there was a farking beer cartel in the Netherlands. I want 1,000 euros back from Heineken and 2,000 from Grolsch!

There really isn't anywhere in the world where a large company can successfully be held to task for causing damages by breaching tort, because of all the anti-civil suit legislation that has been passed in the name of stopping 'nuisance' cases.

Because we are afraid of judges, well, judging, we have devised a system where companies can bury a suit with endless appeals and then sue the filers for legal fees.

What a country!

"Here comes the plaintiff, Stavros Euangelikos, by and through his hereunder signed counsel, and avers:

1. That Fred's Fish and Chippery of 12 Atwater Street, London 1AC 666 (hereinafter "Defendant"), did knowingly, wilfully and most unlawfully commit a violation of the European Union Language Access Act of 2003, to wit: Defendant displayed menus in only 13 of the 20 official languages of the European Union;

2. That Defendant did sell beer in an unsanctioned and unauthorized unit of volume, namely a "pint;"

3. That Plaintiff was thereby grievously and irreparably damaged by the callous actions of said Defendant;

4. Plaintiff therefore prays this honourable Court enter judgment against Defendant in the sum of two million (2,000,000.00) Euros for statutory damages and five million (5,000,000.00) Euros in compensatory and punitive damages, on account of the profound emotional distress caused Plaintiff by Defendant's wilful disregard of European law and common decency; and any additional remedy as the Court shall, in its judgment, consider just and proper.

NOTE: THIS COMPLAINT WILL NOW BE RECITED IN 20 OTHER LANGUAGES.

.
.
.

And so on.

/has practiced law in the United States for far too long.
//welcomes the opportunity to be a shyster in the EU.
///as long as I can charge on contingency.

Zmog: This is about laying the law on cartels more efficiently. It's not the "I pushed a cheezeburger into my ear so now I'm half deaf. I'm suing McDonalds" clusterfark.

Actually, I suspect it's the "lawyers get $100 million in fees and the plaintiffs get a coupon for $1.50 off their next purchase."

Can'tLetYouDoThatStarFox: /SNIP

There is no legitimate reason for going into corporate law unless you just want to be rich. None. I'm not saying wanting to be rich is necessarily a terrible thing in itself, but know that if somebody is a corporate lawyer, money is all that they care about. Period.

Sweeping generalizations are, to make a sweeping generalization, usually false.

My mother was a corporate lawyer who became such because she knew she'd be a good one, and she wanted our family to be financially secure. She's never cared about money before then in her life, and doesn't care about it now; the only reason she cared about money at all was because she didn't want her kids to be the "Poor kids" at school, and so we weren't.

She quit her job as a lawyer within months after I got my first job and moved out.

/She works for Social Services now, trying to help people

lchip: CHECK THIS OUT!
Check Out More Pics!! VOTE FOR MY FRIEND!

I think I hate you...

/did not click

ManatOrr: Can'tLetYouDoThatStarFox: /SNIP

There is no legitimate reason for going into corporate law unless you just want to be rich. None. I'm not saying wanting to be rich is necessarily a terrible thing in itself, but know that if somebody is a corporate lawyer, money is all that they care about. Period.

Sweeping generalizations are, to make a sweeping generalization, usually false.

My mother was a corporate lawyer who became such because she knew she'd be a good one, and she wanted our family to be financially secure. She's never cared about money before then in her life, and doesn't care about it now; the only reason she cared about money at all was because she didn't want her kids to be the "Poor kids" at school, and so we weren't.

She quit her job as a lawyer within months after I got my first job and moved out.

/She works for Social Services now, trying to help people

So basically, it's exactly what I said. She wanted to make a lot of money and be rich. Of course every corporate lawyer is doing it "for their family" or "for their kids." And hey, maybe for 5% of the people who say that it's actually true, and maybe your mother was one of them. Who knows? But you can't argue that it wasn't about the money. It was. And corporate law pays far more than anybody needs to support a family. My parents did it just fine on public school teacher salaries.