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(The New York Times) Interesting Survivalism hits the suburbs, as yuppies and soccer moms stock up on organic MREs and designer ammo in preparation for the breakdown of society   (nytimes.com) divider line 555
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GaryPDX [TotalFark] 2008-04-06 10:12:34 AM  
I wish I had submitted this..lol. It's got me written all over it.

THE traditional face of survivalism is that of a shaggy loner in camouflage, holed up in a cabin in the wilderness and surrounded by cases of canned goods and ammunition.

My hair is short, dumbass.

I'm just gonna point and laugh, these idiots aren't gonna make it either..lol.

Middle-class lite survivalist...hahahahahahaha..jeeebus. Idiots.

 
kmmontandon [TotalFark] 2008-04-06 10:17:38 AM  
GaryPDX:
I'm just gonna point and laugh, these idiots aren't gonna make it either..lol.

Middle-class lite survivalist...hahahahahahaha..jeeebus. Idiots.



Yeah ... but now you know there's stuff worth plundering in the suburbs, since they'll likely only buy the best.

 
Nabb1 [TotalFark] 2008-04-06 10:18:08 AM  
MREs and shotgun shells? In New Orleans, we call that stocking up for hurricane season.

 
GaryPDX [TotalFark] 2008-04-06 10:20:38 AM  
kmmontandon: GaryPDX:
I'm just gonna point and laugh, these idiots aren't gonna make it either..lol.

Middle-class lite survivalist...hahahahahahaha..jeeebus. Idiots.


Yeah ... but now you know there's stuff worth plundering in the suburbs, since they'll likely only buy the best.


I'll wait until they stop eating each other first. I'm glad something like my particular brand of crazy is getting a little more mainstream. Some of you might live through it. Once the panic begins, some crazy shiat will happen for a while.

 
GaryPDX [TotalFark] 2008-04-06 10:23:22 AM  
Nabb1: MREs and shotgun shells? In New Orleans, we call that stocking up for hurricane season.

You know first hand about mass hysteria and panic, don't you?

/grin

 
GaryPDX [TotalFark] 2008-04-06 10:27:27 AM  
"If all these planets line up and things do get really bad," Mr. Marcom said, "those who have not prepared will be trapped in the city with thousands of other people needing food and propane and everything else."

Spot ON! The cities are the very last place you want to be.

 
vudukungfu 2008-04-06 10:27:35 AM  
I know collectors in hte burbs that have farking armories.

 
TehNacho [TotalFark] 2008-04-06 10:31:02 AM  
GaryPDX: "If all these planets line up and things do get really bad," Mr. Marcom said, "those who have not prepared will be trapped in the city with thousands of other people needing food and propane and everything else."

Spot ON! The cities are the very last place you want to be.


Why? There will be tons of food on the shelf. Tons of vehicles to steal and get around in. After a few days/weeks a lot of people will die off so there will be isolation even in bigger cities. There will probably be more allies to align yourself with to build tribes. I don't think there is any one place to be after a collapse than any other place.

 
GaryPDX [TotalFark] 2008-04-06 10:31:37 AM  
Green? Okay..cue the minions who believe there will be a magic answer provided by the glorious government!!

/buckle in
//zombie wars!

 
MorrisBird [TotalFark] 2008-04-06 10:34:08 AM  
Be afraid! Be very afraid! Or, clean the kitty litter box. It makes no difference to me.

 
GaryPDX [TotalFark] 2008-04-06 10:34:23 AM  
TehNacho: Why? There will be tons of food on the shelf. Tons of vehicles to steal and get around in. After a few days/weeks a lot of people will die off so there will be isolation even in bigger cities. There will probably be more allies to align yourself with to build tribes. I don't think there is any one place to be after a collapse than any other place.

Centralized distribution is going to end millions. You city dwellers will have chaos for a while and then you'll start eating each other. Pretty soon there won't be anything left and the last few will become wolf and rat dinner. You stay right where you are..:)

 
JerseyTim [TotalFark] 2008-04-06 10:35:50 AM  
TFA: It is not that of Barton M. Biggs, the former chief global strategist at Morgan Stanley. Yet in Mr. Biggs's new book, "Wealth, War and Wisdom," he says people should "assume the possibility of a breakdown of the civilized infrastructure."

Get over yourself. These people are the secular version of the Rapture or the second coming types. I've got bad news for you, pops. You're not so special that the whole world is going to come to an end during your lifetime. It's going to keep going on.

 
Marcus Aurelius [TotalFark] 2008-04-06 10:38:11 AM  
Things here can't get much worse than they are in Zimbabwe, and even there you can still get groceries on the black market and buy decent police protection.

But hey, if you want to believe we're going to deteriorate into a mindless chaotic rabble that refuses to flip any more burgers, more power to you.

 
CougarJeff [TotalFark] 2008-04-06 10:40:07 AM  
It's not Fark it's TotalFark the ongoing biography of GaryPDX.

 
MorrisBird [TotalFark] 2008-04-06 10:41:14 AM  
CougarJeff: It's not Fark it's TotalFark the ongoing biography of GaryPDX.

Be fair. Even paranoids have enemies.

 
GaryPDX [TotalFark] 2008-04-06 10:43:06 AM  
CougarJeff: It's not Fark it's TotalFark the ongoing biography of GaryPDX.

I didn't submit this..lol.

 
CougarJeff [TotalFark] 2008-04-06 10:45:05 AM  
GaryPDX: CougarJeff: It's not Fark it's TotalFark the ongoing biography of GaryPDX.

I didn't submit this..lol.


Oh I didn't think you did. But that doesn't stop you from turning this thread into another chapter of your ongoing struggle to tell us all about yourself.

 
Chariset [TotalFark] 2008-04-06 10:47:02 AM  
Do you like my Gucci AK-47?

 
GaryPDX [TotalFark] 2008-04-06 10:47:02 AM  
CougarJeff: GaryPDX: CougarJeff: It's not Fark it's TotalFark the ongoing biography of GaryPDX.

I didn't submit this..lol.

Oh I didn't think you did. But that doesn't stop you from turning this thread into another chapter of your ongoing struggle to tell us all about yourself.


Oookay then. Here..I stand aside and watch the fun from afar.

 
ecmoRandomNumbers [TotalFark] 2008-04-06 10:47:43 AM  
Marcus Aurelius: But hey, if you want to believe we're going to deteriorate into a mindless chaotic rabble that refuses to flip any more burgers, more power to you.

Sadly, some people have been preparing for it for so long, that they actually look forward to it happening. They pray for a breakdown. They're up to their butts in canned goods and racist literature, and they're getting bored. I won't mention any names, but they know who they are.

There are practical people who prepare for an emergency, and then there are nutjobs who can't wait to test their guns in an apocalyptic environment.

 
TehNacho [TotalFark] 2008-04-06 10:48:32 AM  
GaryPDX:

Centralized distribution is going to end millions. You city dwellers will have chaos for a while and then you'll start eating each other. Pretty soon there won't be anything left and the last few will become wolf and rat dinner. You stay right where you are..:)


You middle of nowheres will run out of gas, will run out of viable space to create food, and only draw attention to yourself when you're in isolation. The really idiotic city people will probably try to leave the city first, and then prey on you.

But one thing I submit that I do believe we can all agree on, the majority of Americans under 30 alive today probably could not survive a real disaster, not even by following those that could. That includes myself. I might be able to make it for a week or two but I doubt it.

 
ecmoRandomNumbers [TotalFark] 2008-04-06 10:49:24 AM  
Chariset: Do you like my Gucci AK-47?

Gucci would never make an AK-47. There are too many Egyptian knock-offs already on the market.

 
vudukungfu 2008-04-06 10:53:57 AM  
I'm surrounded by deer, turkies, and othre tasty morsels.
I own guns.
I have a good spring.
2 years worth of firewood stacked.
Barn full of goats.
So just stay where you are, Jericho.

 
unholymartiangod 2008-04-06 10:55:49 AM  
Chariset: Do you like my Gucci AK-47?

It's not as pretty as my hello kitty ak

 
Marcus Aurelius [TotalFark] 2008-04-06 10:56:48 AM  
ecmoRandomNumbers

There are practical people who prepare for an emergency, and then there are nutjobs who can't wait to test their guns in an apocalyptic environment

They spent all that money, so they have to justify it somehow. It's like people that pay $350 for a Bose Wave radio, and then feel compelled to torture every passer-by with a demonstration of its superiority, just to keep from feeling like a chump.

 
TehNacho [TotalFark] 2008-04-06 10:57:08 AM  
ecmoRandomNumbers: Chariset: Do you like my Gucci AK-47?

Gucci would never make an AK-47. There are too many Egyptian knock-offs already on the market.


Were the gold plated ornamental AKS pulled from Saddams palace photoshops?

Cause those were nice looking guns.

 
T-Servo 2008-04-06 10:57:51 AM  
www.cbc.ca

People ought to get over themselves. If you want to see what a breakdown in society looks like, there are plenty of places that can show you. (I hear that the beaches in Somalia are lovely this time of year)

 
Marcus Aurelius [TotalFark] 2008-04-06 10:58:40 AM  
vudukungfu

You wouldn't disclose your latitude so easily if you were truly serious.

 
angrymacface [TotalFark] 2008-04-06 11:02:17 AM  
Why am I reminded of Beverly Hills Cop 3. That gun store that Bronson Pinchot's character was running and the "gun" that weighed ~100 lbs and had a microwave and cappuccino maker.

These people are the ones who'd buy that kind of thing.

 
Tastes Like Chicken [TotalFark] 2008-04-06 11:07:21 AM  
TehNacho: You middle of nowheres will run out of gas, will run out of viable space to create food, and only draw attention to yourself when you're in isolation. The really idiotic city people will probably try to leave the city first, and then prey on you.

I can grow my own food, defend myself, survive in the wild, and can make it to 3 farms on foot. One of those farms is solar-powered. I know how to convert a diesel car to run on vegetable oil. I think I'll be alright without gas. I doubt the college kids and yuppies living in Philly could find me without a GPS, and I think the poor folks would rather join me than fight me.

/Really not an internet tough guy, not worried about the apocalypse, this country and others have faced far worse and come out in one piece.
//The one thing I would be kind of worried about is the Limerick Nuclear Power Plant

 
co-conspirator [TotalFark] 2008-04-06 11:10:41 AM  
S. M. Striling's "Dies the Fire. A fun tale of survival following a world-wide catastrophe.

 
Marcus Aurelius [TotalFark] 2008-04-06 11:23:11 AM  
Tastes Like Chicken

If it comes down to it, more than a few people will get the bright idea to go hit up the Amish. It could get mighty crowded up that way.

 
h to the 'ojo 2008-04-06 11:30:35 AM  
GaryPDX: Centralized distribution is going to end millions. You city dwellers will have chaos for a while and then you'll start eating each other. Pretty soon there won't be anything left and the last few will become wolf and rat dinner. You stay right where you are..:)

Most major populations are near important ports or along trade routes. So long as the farmer produces more than they can consume, they will trade.

Furthermore, skyscaper-farms (1, 2, 3, 4, 5) are on their way. They offer lower transportation cost, fresher product, ability to grow a variety of crops from different climates, and lower labour costs.

I think more people would die off from needing a lot of medical care, being gigantically fat, or useless. If I'm placing a bet, my money is on city dwellers performing the best (of those who don't quickly die off) if for no other reason there are more of them

 
GaryPDX [TotalFark] 2008-04-06 11:38:34 AM  
h to the 'ojo: I think more people would die off from needing a lot of medical care, being gigantically fat, or useless. If I'm placing a bet, my money is on city dwellers performing the best (of those who don't quickly die off) if for no other reason there are more of them

I think there will be a period of panic and mass hysteria as people scramble and grab for themselves and others defend what they have. Once that settles down, then yes, the small percentage of those left will adapt and prosper..afterwards.

Katrina was a microscopic example of that effect. For a few days there, it was primeval.

 
Tastes Like Chicken [TotalFark] 2008-04-06 11:42:15 AM  
Marcus Aurelius: If it comes down to it, more than a few people will get the bright idea to go hit up the Amish. It could get mighty crowded up that way.

I'm probably closer to you than I am to the Amish. Muahahahaha.

Let's agree now, if the apocalypse comes, you and me start a Chester County PA Farker Coalition. I'm growing my own hops this year. We'll have beer! And canned beans! We can heat our homes and power our cars with farts!

 
Marcus Aurelius [TotalFark] 2008-04-06 11:44:37 AM  
Tastes Like Chicken

It's a deal. But I have to warn you, the apocalypse will be very unprofitable, so I seriously doubt it will be allowed to happen in this country.

 
soze [TotalFark] 2008-04-06 11:49:47 AM  
Are they putting it all next to the generator they bought for Y2K?

 
ThatGuyGreg [TotalFark] 2008-04-06 12:02:07 PM  
TehNacho: Spot ON! The cities are the very last place you want to be.

Why? There will be tons of food on the shelf. Tons of vehicles to steal and get around in.


You don't live in a city, do you?

*checks profile*

Nope. The amount of food *in* a city will cover that city for maybe 3 or 4 days. After that, the daily 4am deliveries will be sorely missed.

I'd rather be where the food comes from than where it goes.

 
vonapathy 2008-04-06 12:10:02 PM  
"I got my fist, I got my plan, I got survivalism"
-NIN

For a while there I was listening to the Year Zero album obsessively and I began to grow a real sense of fear and dread about some impending doom/apocalypse. In my head I even mapped out my own survival plan (escape to surrounding farm communities, bring cat [she'll serve as food later], learn how to handle everyday objects as a weapon, etc). I'd like to think that if there was some large scope disaster I'd be able to survive. I mean so far I've got genetics on my side (young, healthy, fit, not dependent on any medicine, etc), I've built up a healthy enough rage that I'd have no problem dispatching with some slack jawed yokel if it came to a fight for resources, and I'm quite far removed from a major metropolitan area, in fact I'm surrounded by corm fields, forest preserves, and general prairie land (maybe I could catch a rabbit?).

or so I think.

who knows maybe, all this planning in my head is ultimately useless and like everyone else I'll just panic and revert to a state of uselessness.

 
albo [TotalFark] 2008-04-06 12:27:20 PM  
co-conspirator: S. M. Striling's "Dies the Fire. A fun tale of survival following a world-wide catastrophe

live action role player geeks save the world--i couldn't get past the first few chapters

 
nobozo 2008-04-06 12:54:02 PM  
I still remember LMAO right after Y2K when Ebay was suddenly awash with overpriced survival gear selling for 5 cents on the dollar.

 
exvaxman [TotalFark] 2008-04-06 12:58:06 PM  
I used to work with a true to the core survivalist - worked three months out of the year to support his lifestyle. (Very good programmer - Very good). In case things went bad while he was out on contract he was "prepared" to get home. Scary. Also was supporting two women at his survival cabin. I picked up a lot of hints from him when we talked. While I am in the 'burbs, I think that I can handle the breakdown of society until things get better.

 
Don't Tase Me Bro 2008-04-06 01:09:53 PM  
Katrina inspired us to be a lot more prepared than we were: canned food, bottled water, ammunition, and a car big enough to transport us and all that crap out of here if the SHTF.

 
Weaver95 [TotalFark] 2008-04-06 01:19:42 PM  
co-conspirator: S. M. Striling's "Dies the Fire. A fun tale of survival following a world-wide catastrophe.

Y'know what killed that book for me? Unlike Stirling, i've actually BEEN to SCA meetings and wiccan gatherings and believe me - those people are NOT blonde hair/blue eyed ayran superbeings with rugged Ayn Rand style organizational skills. They're more pear shaped than anything else. Oh, they mean well enough I suppose...and they *do* practice crafts that most of us have forgotten. But they couldn't survive without refridgeration and air conditioning.

 
Fluff Girl [TotalFark] 2008-04-06 01:21:20 PM  
exvaxman: While I am in the 'burbs, I think that I can handle the breakdown of society until things get better.

Depends on the suburbs.

At any moment, any of the major geological faults in Southern California could give way, resulting in am 8.0 magnitute earthquake. Might not happen in this lifetime, or a thousand lifetimes afterward. But it will happen, someday.

When it does, imagine 17 million people without power for ATM's and gas pumps, fractured roadways, and limited food. The area is bordered to the west by water and by deserts and mountain ranges elsewhere. There are limited ways to get out. The levels of desperation would ratchet up pretty quickly, I think.

We're normal, suburban people, but our level of preparedness is pretty high.

 
disarticulate 2008-04-06 01:32:10 PM  
I'll take my designer fall out shelter with gucci sun glasses.

 
kilgorn 2008-04-06 01:38:02 PM  
Stop it?....I'm counting on it!

/?

 
LittleSmitty 2008-04-06 01:38:38 PM  
Fight over the canned food all you want. I'll be eating fresh game and fresh fish. Hit'n the back country when the time comes

 
cmb53208 2008-04-06 01:39:34 PM  
What exactly qualifies as a disaster in the suburbs? A black family moving in? Their little snowflakes getting skinned knees or being told they have to actually work for praise?

There's a heartless part of me that wouldn't mind seeing the 'burbs go away: I think they are the engine driving the war on induviduality in this country. Don't believe me? Point out differences between Brookfield, WI; Cary, NC: Schaumburg, IL; and Roswell, GA.

 
Fark_On_My_Friend 2008-04-06 01:40:39 PM  
LittleSmitty: Fight over the canned food all you want. I'll be eating fresh game and fresh fish. Hit'n the back country when the time comes

You mean IRRADIATED game and fresh fish! Bwahahahahaaa! Hey we're all going down. Might as well enjoy the trip.

 
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