You mean those people aren't already zombies?

*cracks up*

Unfortunately the second paragraph gave the joke away for me, but still pretty damned good. Especially considering last time he saw a zombie it shot him...

Apocalypse trifecta in play?

Miiiiiiit......

MIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT!!!!

/got nuthin

I won't spoil the ending but I will say well played, zombie-man.

"Zombies are fierce," he said as a crammed council chamber laughed nervously. "They are going to catch us in there."

Shouldn't somebody tell him not to mix Night of the Living Dead and Marijuana?

People joke around about the coming zombie apocalypse, but it's no joke.

My theory is that ever movie, book, etc. is a reflection of an alternate universe in which the events played out exactly as depicted.

Fine works like World War Z, The Zombie Survival Guide, James Bond novels, the Bible, etc. might all look like fun fiction, but mark my words - there exists a time and place where things happened exactly like that.

I for one have my rifle, my .40 cal pistol and my Lobo handy. I'm prepared. Are you? No?

Laugh away, suckers.

Somebody get me Jill Valentine NOW!!!

FTFA "all reason helicoptered into the ether."

Awesome. Pure awesome.



/Zoobies?

Does this have ANYTHING to do with Mr. Heston dying?

One thing about living in Salt Lake City I never could stomach; all the damn vampires.

I came to this thread expecting pics of Alexis Denisof.

Hmph.

(Or at least some ham-handed Worcestershire sauce or conjunctivitis references!)

/got nuthin'

And shoppers could be sitting ducks in a sky bridge.

He knows too much and will be silenced...

He tried to warn them.

WTF?

Just be sure to shoot them in the head, or decapitate them. Oh yeah, salt. You gotta carry salt so you can put a protective ring around you so you can keep shooting.

Trust me on this, it's important

DAMN YOU MAD HIGHLANDER!!

Was it good for you too?

All I got out of the article was "blah blah Joseph Smith blah blah la blah magic underwear blah blah BRAINS!!!!!11!!"

/Who can resist a Mormons n' Zombies double?
//Is that a new drink?

Can I get... any of you coonts... a drink?

We need to build a wall around Salt Lake City.

I don' want no Zombies takin' all our joeeerbs!

Since there are no bars, you won't be able to hole up at the Winchester.

The zombie community frowns on your shenanigans.

Before the undead fans chime in I have to ask..

Have you ever seen a zombie?

I mean an undead human being with a deadly appetite?

Just wondering...

There are two kinds of people in the world... Those who have a plan prepared for when the zombies take over the earth, and those who don't. We call those last people "dinner"

It's important to have a zombie plan.

Marketing ploy?

Well done Mr. "Wyndham-Price" whoever you really are

I don't know they often times mock the guy who tries to warn the general population but when the zombies come everyone comes flocking to him to save them. Or the zombies are a metaphor, what could be thought of as mindless brain dead humans in Utah?

If you want to get past a group of zombies just pretend you're one of 'em.

TFA: Then he got specific and all reason helicoptered into the ether.


ORLY?^

Bring em on.

And by "em" I mean Milla.

Here in TN we call our 'zombie preparedness plan' plinking at the range.

Unless it's preparing for those darn flighty dead folk they gots in them there newer movies (28 days/weeks), then we tends to find that shooting at paper isn't practice enough and it's time to wheel out the tactical wheelbarrow, NVG, kevlar socks etc and go git sum 'mall security' training with Gecko45 at his compound...

/treats WWZ like a historical document.

Wesley Wyndham-Price I owe you a beer

They eat brains. They would starve to death on Mormons.

Crazy Bacon Legs: I for one have my rifle, my .40 cal pistol and my Lobo handy. I'm prepared. Are you? No?

Laugh away, suckers.

Oh well.

nom nom nom

Ok, ok, ok... say there is a zombie outbreak. Who's to say they want to eat us? I think that would be the last thing they want. If it's just their id that's functioning, I think they would want sex and food (not humans), but with immediate satisfaction of those. Who wants to eat a person?

And if they're so brain dead, how could they tell the difference between the living and the un-living?

/Yes, I'm totally killing the gag here.

Living in Tokyo my girlfriend was always concerned with emergency preparedness; where's the nearest shelter, what do if the cats run away, that kind of thing. I always said "forget that, what do we do when the zombies come?" She didn't know whether to laugh or to cry.

Dangerzone1223: Ok, ok, ok... say there is a zombie outbreak. Who's to say they want to eat us? I think that would be the last thing they want. If it's just their id that's functioning, I think they would want sex and food (not humans), but with immediate satisfaction of those. Who wants to eat a person?

And if they're so brain dead, how could they tell the difference between the living and the un-living?

/Yes, I'm totally killing the gag here.

Once again someone is trying to rationalize zombies. Zombies don't rationalize! They just eat people! While you are trying to figure out if zombies like to fark, your whole family got eaten.

TeddyRooseveltsMustache: If you want to get past a group of zombies just pretend you're one of 'em.

FAIL!! This is what Zombies look like in Utah....

Marko DeBeeste: They eat brains. They would starve to death on Mormons.

THISx1000

I'm from Georgia, so I'm really getting a kick out of my apprentice..

farked

or not...

Dangerzone1223: Ok, ok, ok... say there is a zombie outbreak. Who's to say they want to eat us? I think that would be the last thing they want. If it's just their id that's functioning, I think they would want sex and food (not humans), but with immediate satisfaction of those. Who wants to eat a person?

And if they're so brain dead, how could they tell the difference between the living and the un-living?

/Yes, I'm totally killing the gag here.

That's a great idea for the next zombie movie - the zombies want more. Sure, tasty brains are okay, but now the zombies want sex.
Zombie rape is a concept I hadn't considered.

Be afraid.

I've wondered, if the inevitable zombie attack occurs on Easter Sunday, will it be taken as a miracle or a scourge?

"Then he got specific and all reason helicoptered into the ether."




Ah, devil ether. It makes you behave like the village drunkard in some early Irish novel. Total loss of all basic motor function. Blurred vision, no balance, numb tongue. The mind recoils in horror, unable to communicate with the spinal column. Which is interesting because you can actually watch yourself behaving in this terrible way, but you can't control it.

I went to Circus Circus once, and I must say that did think it was the Fourth Reich.

Hector Remarkable:
Zombie rape is a concept I hadn't considered.

You might want to do a quick google, IIRC Burning Angel's 'Re-Penetrator' DVD already covers this and there are probably many more...