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(DFW Star-Telegram) Sad Suicide by cop: Chimp style. Runaway monkey trifecta in play   (star-telegram.com) divider line 63
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4919 clicks; posted to Main » on 05 Apr 2008 at 11:38 PM   |  Make this a Fark FavoriteFavorite    |   share: Share on OMGTWITTER WEB2.0share on StumbleUponshare on Facebook  more»

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thalassatx [TotalFark] 2008-04-05 07:35:11 PM  
FTA:

Officials said the University of Texas police officer who shot Tony shouted he was going to shoot before firing at the 17-year-old chimpanzee.

Well, thank God he warned him first.

 
No_47 [TotalFark] 2008-04-05 07:40:23 PM  
But did he shout in Chimpanzee or English?

 
Arthur Jumbles [TotalFark] 2008-04-05 07:48:31 PM  
That sad thing is Tony tried to surrender but the police officer didn't know sign language and misunderstood.

 
thalassatx [TotalFark] 2008-04-05 07:53:34 PM  
Arthur Jumbles: That sad thing is Tony tried to surrender but the police officer didn't know sign language and misunderstood.

Chimps will fark you up.

 
Babbs 2008-04-05 07:54:04 PM  
i274.photobucket.com

 
PacManDreaming [TotalFark] 2008-04-05 09:44:37 PM  
If they had just left him on Skull Island this would've never happened.

 
co-conspirator [TotalFark] 2008-04-05 09:51:34 PM  
A chimp is several times stronger than a puny hoo-man. The cop was correct to be afraid for his life.

/I don't really get the verbal warning, though.

 
BetterThomas 2008-04-05 11:42:03 PM  
Babbs

 
AR55 2008-04-05 11:43:19 PM  
co-conspirator: A chimp is several times stronger than a puny hoo-man. The cop was correct to be afraid for his life.

/I don't really get the verbal warning, though.


Just following protocol Lou.

 
TheMega 2008-04-05 11:46:08 PM  
artfiles.art.com
Unavailable for comment

/Plans legal charges later

 
kiyote 2008-04-05 11:50:32 PM  
Oh, big brave cop, shooting an unarmed (I read the article all the way through)chimp! What's the chimp going to do to you, tickle you!?

/disgusted.

 
Get Lost 2008-04-05 11:50:34 PM  
A 140-pound chimpanzee escaped from a research center by jumping more than 15 feet, snatched a tranquilizer dart gun from an animal worker and threatened police by flailing its arms before an officer shot and killed the animal last month,

Yea,,, Right.

Planted the gun is more likely.. Wheres the video footage? Al them places have video footage.

 
skinink 2008-04-05 11:50:38 PM  

"Officials said the University of Texas police officer who shot Tony shouted he was going to shoot before firing at the 17-year-old chimpanzee."


How it would have ended for Tony if David Chase filmed this incident:


www.astro.washington.edu


 
Bartleby the Scrivener 2008-04-05 11:53:40 PM  
Tony, put down the goddamned dart gun or I'll have to shoot you. Don't make me do this, Tony! One more time, Tony. Put down the dart gun. Tony!

*shots ring out*
*silence*

 
Jeff_from_MD 2008-04-05 11:55:31 PM  
poor chimp, it's actually remotely possible that he was just unrelentingly charging at the cop just to nab and discard the gun, just as he did with the tranquilizer.

However the cop did the right thing, hell he even verbally warned the chimp beforehand.

 
lasercannon 2008-04-05 11:55:45 PM  
slantmouth.com
Clearly after the molestation trial and Michael Jackson's bankruptcy, Bubbles just didn't feel like he could go on.

 
kitryne [TotalFark] 2008-04-05 11:56:48 PM  
if man is 5
then the devil is 6
then god is 7
this monkey's gone to heaven

 
Dire [recently expired TotalFark] 2008-04-05 11:57:04 PM  
Chimpanzees will tear your ass up

I remember one attack a few years ago where a guy ended up having all his fingers chewed off; his testicles ripped off; his nose, cheeks, and lips torn apart; part of his ass mutilated; and a foot mangled. I'm not making this up. Google search if you want.

 
blazemongr 2008-04-05 11:58:50 PM  
Babbs: Chimps are apes, not monkeys. Never, ever call one a monkey to his face.

/it's called "going apeshiat" for a reason

 
Lobster_of_Hate 2008-04-05 11:59:21 PM  
Before the "Pro Chimp" fans chime in I have to ask..

Have you ever seen a person really hit with a chimp?

I mean a human being chimped with deadly force.

Just wondering...

/really drunk
//please talk to me

 
blazemongr 2008-04-05 11:59:46 PM  
Dire: Chimpanzees will tear your ass up

Considering what a bonobo would do to his ass, I'd say he got off lightly.

 
blazemongr 2008-04-06 12:00:34 AM  
Lobster_of_Hate: I mean a human being chimped with deadly force.

"Assault with a deadly mammal" trifecta now in play.

 
KoolAidDust 2008-04-06 12:05:32 AM  
Chimpanzees will tear your ass up

I remember one attack a few years ago where a guy ended up having all his fingers chewed off; his testicles ripped off; his nose, cheeks, and lips torn apart; part of his ass mutilated; and a foot mangled. I'm not making this up. Google search if you want.

Yeah he lives right down the street from me, i see him outside all the time in his wheel chair. looks pretty bad still.

 
SharkTrager 2008-04-06 12:07:23 AM  
kiyote: Oh, big brave cop, shooting an unarmed (I read the article all the way through)chimp! What's the chimp going to do to you, tickle you!?

/disgusted.


I am hoping you are kidding because, seriously, an angry 140-pound chimp can be very dangerous. They aren't the cute little cuddly animals lots of people think they are. There's a reason Stalin tried to breed a chimp/human hybrid for use in his army.

 
thalassatx [TotalFark] 2008-04-06 12:07:44 AM  
kiyote: Oh, big brave cop, shooting an unarmed (I read the article all the way through)chimp! What's the chimp going to do to you, tickle you!?

/disgusted.


Clearly, you know nothing about chimps. They are incredibly dangerous and can easily kill a human.

 
derek20cali 2008-04-06 12:09:31 AM  
Too bad you ITGs weren't there to give the chimp a beatdown so he wouldn't have to be shot :(.

 
Phil Herup 2008-04-06 12:09:43 AM  
thalassatx: Chimps will fark you up.



Dire: Chimpanzees will tear your ass up

I remember one attack a few years ago where a guy ended up having all his fingers chewed off; his testicles ripped off; his nose, cheeks, and lips torn apart; part of his ass mutilated; and a foot mangled. I'm not making this up. Google search if you want.



Chimps are uber-dangerous.

If I saw an adult chip on the loose and I had a gun. BOOM!

Have read horrific stories of attacks.

Sue me later.

/no verbal warning either

 
global wombats [TotalFark] 2008-04-06 12:14:35 AM  
img137.imageshack.us

You can have my gun when you pry it from my cold dead fingers, motherfarker.

 
wydok 2008-04-06 12:15:03 AM  
www.impawards.com

 
Egalitarian [recently expired TotalFark] 2008-04-06 12:15:37 AM  
Dire
Chimpanzees will tear your ass up

I remember one attack a few years ago where a guy ended up having all his fingers chewed off; his testicles ripped off; his nose, cheeks, and lips torn apart; part of his ass mutilated; and a foot mangled. I'm not making this up. Google search if you want.


I came in here to say the same thing.

When you see chimps and orangutans in movies and TV shows, those are female and/or young individuals. They don't have adult males out of cages. Why? Cause they'll fark you up!!

The 2nd Babe movie was OK . . . but I couldn't get over the fact that the orangutan was given the voice of a stodgy old British man - it certainly was lacking giant facial flaps.

 
outback_rebel 2008-04-06 12:15:43 AM  
SharkTrager: kiyote: Oh, big brave cop, shooting an unarmed (I read the article all the way through)chimp! What's the chimp going to do to you, tickle you!?

/disgusted.

I am hoping you are kidding because, seriously, an angry 140-pound chimp can be very dangerous. They aren't the cute little cuddly animals lots of people think they are. There's a reason Stalin tried to breed a chimp/human hybrid for use in his army.


God-Schmod, I want my monkey man!

 
wydok 2008-04-06 12:16:15 AM  
One more time...

cullrich.files.wordpress.com

 
Heracleitus 2008-04-06 12:16:19 AM  
Dire: Chimpanzees will tear your ass up

I remember one attack a few years ago where a guy ended up having all his fingers chewed off; his testicles ripped off; his nose, cheeks, and lips torn apart; part of his ass mutilated; and a foot mangled. I'm not making this up. Google search if you want.


The story in question. (new window)

Davis, who remained in critical condition Friday, was badly disfigured. According to his wife, he lost all the fingers from both hands, an eye, part of his nose, cheek and lips, and part of his buttocks. His foot was mutilated and his heel bone was cracked.

 
JnnJuggle 2008-04-06 12:16:41 AM  
FTFA: "The chimpanzee started flailing its arms. The officer shouted at least twice that he was going to shoot," the report said. "In fear for his safety, the officer then fired several times, striking the chimpanzee."

The officer fell backward while firing his gun, but the chimpanzee kept coming toward him, the report said. The officer didn't know how many times he fired at the animal, according to the report, "because the threat was still coming at him."


Welcome to Texas.

/also quite drunk tonight

 
Egalitarian [recently expired TotalFark] 2008-04-06 12:18:27 AM  
kiyote
Oh, big brave cop, shooting an unarmed (I read the article all the way through)chimp! What's the chimp going to do to you, tickle you!?

/disgusted.


Chimps are actually 3 times stronger than humans -- our musculature is crap compared to theirs. Male chimps can be incredibly aggressive. They attack and kill each other in the wild, or kill the young of females they want to mate with. They catch monkeys and rip them to pieces for meat.

\caveat: a male bonobo would probably just hump your leg

 
wildcardjack 2008-04-06 12:33:45 AM  
Wow... there must have been some strange cosmic string plucked by this, leading to Hestons immediate demise.

 
Don Keipunch 2008-04-06 12:36:09 AM  
For 400 years we shed tears.

 
Isildur 2008-04-06 01:02:07 AM  
"The officer shouted at least twice that he was going to shoot," the report said."

Given the preposterousness of giving the warning even once, I can't help but wonder if the officer said it the second time very slowly with exaggerated enunciation and facial movement, the way some people repeatedly try do when they encounter someone who clearly doesn't know even a single word of the same language, as if speaking that way will magically convey their meaning.

 
PacManDreaming [TotalFark] 2008-04-06 01:06:43 AM  
Isildur: "The officer shouted at least twice that he was going to shoot," the report said."

Given the preposterousness of giving the warning even once, I can't help but wonder if the officer said it the second time very slowly with exaggerated enunciation and facial movement, the way some people repeatedly try do when they encounter someone who clearly doesn't know even a single word of the same language, as if speaking that way will magically convey their meaning.


My guess is that he was warning others around him about what he intended to do.

 
lajimi [TotalFark] 2008-04-06 01:08:59 AM  
"The chimpanzee started flailing its arms. The officer shouted at least twice that he was going to shoot," the report said.

i236.photobucket.com

 
Sir Vixalot 2008-04-06 01:12:11 AM  
Any of you who don't believe a chimp can cause a great many people harm clearly haven't been paying attention to politics for the last 8 years.

 
moeriscus 2008-04-06 01:14:09 AM  
Aw, I say cut the cop some slack.

Given the fact that pet dogs are able to understand commands such as 'stop', 'sit', and 'lie down', it doesn't seem like it's too much of a stretch to think that an adult domesticated chimp might follow basic commands and body language as well. Plus, when you're being approached by an angry monkey with a weapon, I doubt there is much time to think rationally about whether it will understand. Furthermore, since they have a humanoid appearance, one might just instinctively talk to it without stopping to realize that perhaps the chimp doesn't have language.

 
Sullasdog 2008-04-06 01:18:55 AM  
i242.photobucket.com

 
liamsmom82 2008-04-06 01:25:47 AM  
He warned the chimp he was going to shoot? I understand that he'd probably have had to shoot the chimp, they can be dangerous but... warning him?

"Uh-huck, I tried ta warn tha varmint, but he jes' didn't listen! I dun understand why he didn't stop!" Effing morons....

 
lajimi [TotalFark] 2008-04-06 01:54:07 AM  
Sir Vixalot: Any of you who don't believe a chimp can cause a great many people harm clearly haven't been paying attention to politics for the last 8 years.

FOR THE WIN!

 
Isildur 2008-04-06 02:22:31 AM  
PacManDreaming: My guess is that he was warning others around him about what he intended to do.

It's possible, I don't think it's the likeliest reason. To tell the truth, I was being unfair in my previous post. I think most likely it was just an automatic reaction ingrained in the officer for crisis situations (somewhere during police training, I'm sure there's someone barking "Now repeat twenty times after me, recruits, 'Self-identify and warn first, THEN shoot.'" etc.) and to be fair to the cop, most people wouldn't think very clearly as a 140-pound chimp is bearing down on them. Once the unnerved guy caught his breath a minute after shooting, he probably felt a bit foolish.

 
Isildur 2008-04-06 02:26:31 AM  
moeriscus: Aw, I say cut the cop some slack.

Given the fact that pet dogs are able to understand commands such as 'stop', 'sit', and 'lie down', it doesn't seem like it's too much of a stretch to think that an adult domesticated chimp might follow basic commands and body language as well. Plus, when you're being approached by an angry monkey with a weapon, I doubt there is much time to think rationally about whether it will understand. Furthermore, since they have a humanoid appearance, one might just instinctively talk to it without stopping to realize that perhaps the chimp doesn't have language.


Yeah, on reflection, this.^

 
onecoolshe 2008-04-06 02:51:00 AM  
I'd try to escape too...

 
harris5 2008-04-06 02:57:14 AM  
Blazemongr: Dire: Chimpanzees will tear your ass up

Considering what a bonobo would do to his ass, I'd say he got off lightly.


*clap clap clap*

/What awesome animals.

 
TheAbstractor [TotalFark] 2008-04-06 03:16:50 AM  
You think you're living in an enlighten and civilized day and age, then you hear those types of racial slurs in a major newspaper. What the hell is wrong with people?

 
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