It's for her own good.

Everything in this article is true but I bet she's a farking maniac in bed. Hey, Rach, try the DFD (Doctor Funkenstein Dong.) I'm told it's delish.

pew pew pew.

One of the least enjoyable parts of my job: checking the Rachael Ray tape for quality.

Any game that involves my penis and her butt is OK with me. Where are the pictures of her butt?

Let me take this opportunity to make a preemptive strike with aGiada pic:

I would hate her way less if she could actually, you know, cook. That broad would last about 15 minutes on a line, then someone would 'accidentally' clock her across the jaw with a hot saute pan.

markie_farkie: Giada pic:

I would all manner of unseemly things to that woman, so long as she promised not to devour 3/4's of my body in one bite.

What I'm saying is she's got a huge mouth. Teeth like a bleedin wood chipper.

YUMMO: Combat Evolved.

finally, a use for jack thompson.

"Merchandising, merchandising, where the real money from the cooking show is made. Rachael Ray-the T-shirt, Rachael Ray-the Coloring Book, Rachael Ray-the Lunch box, Rachael Ray-the Breakfast Cereal, Rachael Ray-the Flame Thrower."

And now Rachael Ray-the video game.

I just came here to say:

I'd hit it.

/that is all

I don't want to play a watered-down version of Cooking Mama.

You know, I'd consider playing a Rachel Ray video game, but only if the point was to repeatedly dunk her head in a frialator, sodomize her with rusty kitchen implements, or load her feet first into a giant Waring blender (a giant Cuisinart, set to "gooify," would also be acceptable).

Otherwise, I think I'll pass.

Velveeta and Ritz crackers make lousy weapons. Does she know how to cook with anything but highly processed foods?

I'd like if the game would let me
Roam around footloose and free
To corner Rachel by the counter
Rip her apron off and mount her
I'd heave and ho, withdraw and thrust
Like some elephant in must
She'd gasp and grasp me, soft she'd mutter
"fark me SherKhan, churn my butter".

I really do hate the "EVOO" thing. It takes longer to say than "olive oil".

Other than that, she's still alright with Cru.

/everyone else was talking about themselves in third person

As far as I'm concerned, Rachel can put her evoo up her hoo hoo.

My problem with her is the EVOO vs Olive oil thing. She ALWAYS says, "Then I'm going to add some EVOO, extra virgin olive oil..." WTF is the point of saying the acronym if you're just gonna say what it means every farking time?!

SherKhan: I'd like if the game would let me
Roam around footloose and free
To corner Rachel by the counter
Rip her apron off and mount her
I'd heave and ho, withdraw and thrust
Like some elephant in must
She'd gasp and grasp me, soft she'd mutter
"fark me SherKhan, churn my butter".

So beautiful... I think I have something in my eye...

Most likely a photoshop, but who cares...

Video game needs Hot Coffee

Rachel Ray Drinking Game (new window)

SherKhan: I'd like if the game would let me
Roam around footloose and free
To corner Rachel by the counter
Rip her apron off and mount her
I'd heave and ho, withdraw and thrust
Like some elephant in must
She'd gasp and grasp me, soft she'd mutter
"fark me SherKhan, churn my butter".

*applause*

Nuke her from orbit.

It's the only way to be sure.

QUANTUM liked her much better before she got the make-over. More "girl next door" looking and sweet. Now she just anoys QUANTUM.

///Third person slachies

markie_farkie: Let me take this opportunity to make a preemptive strike with aGiada pic:

damn, I love her.

IKillBugs: Most likely a photoshop, but who cares...

I found that when I was trying to figure out who the hell she was (thankfully she's not on anything I run the risk of watching over here). I also found this:

http://www.rightwingnews.com/mt331/2007/04/rachael_ray_can_save_the_manat.php? co mments=show
(As SFW as FHM is)

markie_farkie: Let me take this opportunity to make a preemptive strike with aGiada pic:
continual of Doctor Funkensteins post

I'm sure her Olive Oil is no virgin by now.

I would bang her, as long as she didn't talk. Or... if she talked in an indoors voice. On $40 a day, she wasn't so annoying because she wasn't talking to an audience, more like you would to a person and not a whole party.

And yes, Giada is much hotter.

markie_farkie: Let me take this opportunity to make a preemptive strike with aGiada pic:

nice Giada toe...Fist..disgruntled deity..etc....



Rachael Ray needs to be butt-farked in public.

kntgsp:

A nice set of teeth is a wonderful thing to come across.

Unimpressed

She is annoying but I'd lick her pink taco repeatedly.

SherKhan

I'd like if the game would let me
Roam around footloose and free
To corner Rachel by the counter
Rip her apron off and mount her
I'd heave and ho, withdraw and thrust
Like some elephant in must
She'd gasp and grasp me, soft she'd mutter
"fark me SherKhan, churn my butter".

STANDING FARKIN O

She already invaded SXSW...is nothing sacred?

the eidolon: One of the least enjoyable parts of my job: checking the Rachael Ray tape for quality.

Ever find any?

badgerb: She is annoying but I'd lick her pink taco repeatedly.

YUMM-O!

dnrtfa, but there is a Cooking Mama DS game...how is this different?

kntgsp: One last one:

Looks like one of those heavy days.

Browncoat: kntgsp: One last one:

Looks like one of those heavy days.

Dude.

I...

Dude.

Anthony Bourdain gave a talk at my office a couple of months ago. I think the question was what was his worst meal, and he said that even though he's dined on warthog rectum, the only thing he could imagine as irredeemably bad would be for Rachel Ray to break into his apartment and force him to eat a home cooked meal.

Whale Biologist: A nice set of teeth is a wonderful thing to come across.

She could sponsor the cooking part of a harvest moon game or something...that'd work...

Food network will soon be all day FAP while you eat channel

I remember reading somewhere that Rachael Ray smokes like a chimney at a steel mill. So I suppose it's a wonder that woman can actually taste anything, let alone create new dishes and practice the art of cooking.

/also, I wouldn't mind being the meat in a Giada DiLaurentiis-Nigella Lawson sandwich
//just throwing that out there

Browncoat: Looks like one of those heavy days.

They're all gonna laugh at you!