AWESOME. Now they'll finally stop "escorting" me off the premises when I pitch my "Ramadi Playground Kiddie Fun-Jihad" idea.

Have you ever been to a Chuck E. Cheese on a Saturday night? It would make Rambo wet himself.

Good luck General, you're gonna need it.

Recruiting them kind of early.

I guess I can see the connection between the ballpits, skeeball, and dodging sniper fire.

With a name like Franks and a military background, I would have assumed he'd take over Armour.

Hmm, maybe the pizza will finally taste at least as good as an MRE.

"I know they were a bit noisy and chaotic sir, but did you really need to wall in ALL the play-pins?"

Surely this is 2 days late?

satchel13

lawl THIS


/Chuck E. Cheese pizza is really no better than an MRE.

Paedophile_Deluxe: I guess I can see the connection between the ballpits, skeeball, and dodging sniper fire.

You've been hanging out with Hillary, haven't you?

Watch your ass, Casa Bonita

The Iraq War is a lot like Whack-a-Mole^TM.

That should keep those little shiats in line.

It's a good thing that place sells beer.

well, i used to have respect for GEN Franks..and so did my troops.

It all makes sense. Halliburton isn't the real enemy, Chuck E Cheese is.

We invaded iraq for oil, but why all the pundits think it was for gas guzzling cars, it was for the ball pits at chuck e cheese.

Oil as you know is used to make the little plastic colored balls for the Chuck E Cheese fun pits and in order for Chuck E Cheese to expand at a cost efficient rate throughout the world, they needed a cheap source of fuel for their plastic ball empire.

Our children are playing in pits filled with the blood of innocent Iraqis.

Well, he does have experience dealing with children...

I set up a network in Tampa while Franks was the CENTCOM commander. I had some small contact with him while we worked out some details.

Fast-forward a year.

I was picking up my daughter from school to take her to soccer. I have also been taking other-girl for the past 3 weeks.

So, I find my kid and check the board for the location of other-girl.

"Hey, other-girl. It's time for soccer. Are you coming?"

"Oh. No. My mom was supposed to call you. My uncle Tommy is picking me up."

It was at that moment that I realized that other-girl's last name is Franks.

"Hey, other-girl. What's your uncle Tommy do?"

"He's in the Army. He's a secretary."

Sure enough, there he was.

"Hey, I thought you worked in Florida."

"Hey, sir. Your niece thinks you type for a living."

"I do."

Tommy, we need to know how our new soda distributer is turning out on the westcoast Chuck E. Cheeses.



"The Surge is working!"

Approves

It is hard to tell what kind of a military leader he was because he was hamstrung by one of the stupidest twits to ever disgrace the halls of the Pentagon, Donald Rumsfeld. Other generals, with a bit more moxie and moral fiber, refused to work under Rumsfeld.

As a man, all that you need to know about him was that he took $100,000 from a phony charity that was supposed to give money to wounded US veterans, and when it was found out he apologized but did not return the money.

And he spoke for Bush's re-election in 2004 AFTER starting a "disaster recovery service" whose contracts were given to him by the Federal government.

Hey, Chuck-E-Cheese! Y'all have hired yourselves an amoral stinker. Get ready for some failure, because that's all this guy knows.

When I was young and thuggish, I punched Chuck E. Cheese in the nose at a birthday party. Of course I later pussied out and apologized like the little biatch I really was...

Almost a Mickey Mouse outfit.

I'd have figured he had a lock on a director's job at Vienna Sausage.

Chuck E Cheese Hell
Link (new window)

So ... he'll still be killing children, but a lot more slowly.

He's smart. He knew it would be a cake walk to invade and he rode in grandly, and retired about two weeks later when he knew the clusterfark of trying to occupy a middle eastern nation would begin.

WhatGall: Chuck E Cheese Hell
Link (new window)


The URL contained a malformed video ID.
fail

Rumor control has it that General Schwarzkopf almost relieved Franks of Command during Gulf War I.

Since 2003, General Franks has operated Franks & Associates LLC, a private consulting firm, active in the disaster recovery industry. In June 2006, General Franks formed a partnership with Innovative Decon Solutions, Disaster recovery.[3]

In December 2005, Franks was appointed to the Bank of America board of directors. He also sits on Outback Steakhouse International's board of directors.

In December 2004, General Franks became a spokesman for Teen Arrive Alive, which is a company that uses GPS in cellular phones to tell parents how fast their teenage children are driving.

Following his retirement, General Franks published his memoirs in a best-selling book (American Soldier by Tommy Franks, Malcolm McConnell, ReganBooks, 2004 ISBN 0-06-073158-3).

Franks was considered to replace former Oklahoma State University President David J. Schmidly who is now the President of the University of New Mexico.

varmitydog: It is hard to tell what kind of a military leader he was because he was hamstrung by one of the stupidest twits to ever disgrace the halls of the Pentagon ... [blah blah blah, I'm a dirty whore]

You've never been to the Pentagon, have you?

absoluteparanoia: Tommy, we need to know how our new soda distributer is turning out on the westcoast Chuck E. Cheeses.

"The Surge is working!"

This!

Franks In a prepared statement released after his election to the board, Franks said, "There is something special about the sights and sounds of kids and parents enjoying themselves. That's what we experience each time we visit Chuck E. Cheese's, the favored entertainment destination of our grandkids."

I wonder if he's ever set foot in one. The last one I was in was hell. The food was nasty, there were 8 zillion unwashed kids from the projects running around screaming. My kid said "Let's go to circle on the square" (local pizza place) and said she never wanted to go back again.

/the kids in school call it "Chuck My Cheese"

He went from Mickey to Chucky as his boss. Either way he is working for a rodent.

DarnoKonrad

Don't call me Shirley.

Franks is a weiner.

Does this mean that I can go topple the Chuck E. Cheese statue now?

Thank you for bringing me my freedom, General!

Upchuck cheese. That's what I call it.

Vacaboi:You've never been to the Pentagon, have you?

Yes, that was sort of a silly statement, "the biggest twit in the pentagon". The pentagon is twit central and to be the biggest one
would take some doing.

On the other hand, Rumsfeld is going to go down in history as one of the biggest fools in military history; a dilettante who overruled the professionals and botched the war. Generals wait their entire lives for a chance like the command Franks got; all he had to do was to suck up to Rumsfeld and do everything he said. He tied his wagon to a tree stump by doing that.

Franks had a chance to be the United States Senator from Florida,
running against Nelson instead of Katherine Harris. He turned down the opportunity, but his reasons were never made public. Because of his position in leading the American troops in Iraq, he has come under severe criticism from his colleagues worldwide about the failure of Iraq, and those critics would have pulled out all the stops against him and ruined his reputation if he ran.

You don't make general in the US army without some managerial skill, but his lack of ethics since his days of command has made it clear that he was a political general, not a competent one. History will not look upon him favorably either.

show biz pizza pwns chuck e cheez

(even though chuck e cheez technically owns showbiz pizza now)

the_geek: It's a good thing that place sells beer.

Not here they don't. If they did I could actually handle going there.

lolmadillo: show biz pizza pwns chuck e cheez

(even though chuck e cheez technically owns showbiz pizza now)

Actually, it's really the other way around. Showbiz Pizza bought out Chuck E. Cheese, but changed their name and all their stores to Chuck E., because they did not own the rights to Billy Bob & the RockAFire Explosion (that was a partnership, and the two sides began to have a falling out over licensing and fees).

Yes, I know too much about arcade pizza dealings in the 1990s.

Is Godfather's Pizza still around? Pizza Inn was good back in the earlt 80's.

His experience fighting terrorists will make him the next wack-a-mole champion.

satchel13
Have you ever been to a Chuck E. Cheese on a Saturday night? It would make Rambo wet himself.

Good luck General, you're gonna need it.

This
I was at one for a niece's 8th birthday and it must have been Government Assistance night, 350 kids not one of them supervised don't even get me started about the behavior of the children.

lolmao666
Tommy Franks? The asshole who was paid by the CIA to go on TV to talk about how martial law is needed after the next terrorist attack?

I came in here to say that. He is a traitor who should be on trial for deceiving the public.

Chuck E Cheese isn't even one tiny iota as good at Showbiz was. Showbiz had a dark pool and tv room that played sports on tv and guys sat around, drank beer, and smoked. And, of course, That room had my favorite game cabinets in it. Tron, Galaga, Gauntlet, they were all in there. But since people were drinking and smoking in there, my mom didn't want me going in that room.

Showbiz was awesome. Chuck E Cheese replaced all the good video games with "rides" and crap. It went downhill from there.

we shall fight on the bouncy inflatable and ski-ball ramps,
we shall fight with growing confidence and garlic stench in the air, we shall defend our pizza, whatever the cost in tickets may be,
we shall fight in the ball pits,
we shall fight in the arcade,
we shall fight in the animatronic puppet theaters and in the booths,
we shall fight at the prize counter;
we shall never surrender...

Pizza Hut is now at DEFCON 2.

NICE! I have a five year old so have to go to ChuckE's all the time. Maybe Franks will change their policy of only gay nonviolent games and put in some good ol' shooters!!!