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(Some Guy) Stupid Police called to investigate "assault" charge because substitute teacher touched student with "tip of finger" to forehead   (pasadenastarnews.com) divider line 203
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Mythy [TotalFark] 2008-03-29 08:22:17 PM  
OMG, the poor, poor child will be scared for life.....!!! Kids are such wussies anymore.

 
King Something [TotalFark] 2008-03-29 08:39:40 PM  
Mythy: Kids are such wussies anymore.

Hence the "precious little snowflake" meme.

 
PC LOAD LETTER [TotalFark] 2008-03-29 08:52:35 PM  
www.make-my-own-house.com

This should be their next sub

 
SilentStrider [TotalFark] 2008-03-29 08:56:35 PM  
can i get an assault charge levied on whoever thought calling the police was a good idea?

An assault on common sense.

 
real shaman [TotalFark] 2008-03-29 09:15:57 PM  
Please read TFA.... this teacher will not be allowed to teach again in this district because she touched her finger to the kids head.

These school district people are farkin idiots....

 
AMS0000 2008-03-29 09:22:20 PM  
Ever think this type of thing could be a reaction to the police stationed in schools these days ready to arrest the students for just about anything? I have heard of students getting arrested for about the same.

 
bubbaprog [recently expired TotalFark] 2008-03-29 09:32:56 PM  
Ever wonder why our teachers are so shiatty?

Here's your answer. We pay them like shiat, then hold them to ridiculously high standards. So in the end, the only people you get as teachers are people who can't get jobs anywhere else.

This is also an explanation for the epidemic of teachers sleeping with students.

 
the ha ha guy 2008-03-29 09:32:59 PM  
Teacher, apply directly to the forehead.

Teacher, apply directly to the forehead.

Teacher, apply directly to the forehead.

 
mmagdalene [TotalFark] 2008-03-29 09:34:02 PM  
The teacher "used the tip of her finger and patted (the student) on the forehead," Cooper said. "She was all, `Come on, you, you can do better than that."'

Doubly offensive!

 
mmagdalene [TotalFark] 2008-03-29 09:35:20 PM  
the ha ha guy: Teacher, apply directly to the forehead.

DAMMIT!

/3rd degree root beer burns

 
nobozo 2008-03-29 09:35:21 PM  
You know what else likes the tip of it's head touched.

 
BillaBong 2008-03-29 09:35:35 PM  
Maybe the teacher was this guy:

img457.imageshack.us

 
Lordmontu 2008-03-29 09:36:29 PM  
This is complete bullcrap. I would have given the teacher a raise, and suspended/fired whoever called the police.

 
Gyrfalcon [TotalFark] 2008-03-29 09:37:41 PM  
Someone send over that 170-lb Florida student to give that student a REAL beatdown.

 
Bek [TotalFark] 2008-03-29 09:38:51 PM  
bubbaprog: Ever wonder why our teachers are so shiatty?

Here's your answer. We pay them like shiat, then hold them to ridiculously high standards. So in the end, the only people you get as teachers are people who can't get jobs anywhere else.


I sincerely wish more people understood this, rather than pull out the old 'those who can't, teach' line.

 
AMS0000 2008-03-29 09:39:42 PM  
It would help to get rid of the Cops in schools and to allow the schools to actually expel disruptive students.
If we want to fix the schools we have to make the schools like what they where not the BS that things are different now.

 
herrhitmann 2008-03-29 09:41:54 PM  
Asinine tag asplodes.

 
buzzgoat 2008-03-29 09:44:45 PM  
real shaman: Please read TFA.... this teacher will not be allowed to teach again in this district because she touched her finger to the kids head.

These school district people are farkin idiots....


This

fire the farker that called the police should be the districts next "move"

 
Ed Willy 2008-03-29 09:45:16 PM  
content.ytmnd.com

That's a paddling

 
tara 2.0 2008-03-29 09:45:26 PM  
This is just another example of why there are zero tolerance laws in schools. The teacher or student does something that someone doesnt like, a hug or a poke to the forehead for example, and instead of recognizing that these are judgement calls made by a professional human. Society ( yes farkers too!) feels that teachers should NEVER screw up a jugement call. But since teachers are human they do. So in order to prevent any possible judgement calls being screwed up by a teacher, the many administrations have a two pronged plan.

1. Make all rules black and white and absolute. ex. never touch anyone in school, especially if your the teacher. (even when their cat or mom dies. I am not kidding wish I felt safe comforting someone in these situations)

2. Fire any one that screws up a judgement call.

Sometimes I wish I worked in a more respected job like a lawyer

 
Barakku [TotalFark] 2008-03-29 09:45:57 PM  
herrhitmann: Asinine tag asplodes.

Do you have any idea how long it took to clean the main page the last time that happened? I don't think the forum will ever smell right again!

 
Dr. Mojo PhD [TotalFark] 2008-03-29 09:46:48 PM  
Might I just remind anybody and everybody that absolutely nobody has the right to touch anybody without the second party's permission, in any way, ever? There are exceptions, naturally, such as when not touching the person (to restrain them, etc) would naturally result in a larger crime being committed, in which case it is simply a measurement of greatest gain/least loss.

Still, that said, you cannot simply touch somebody because you feel like proving your point or because you believe you have the right to; each individual is sovereign over his or her own body. In this way touching your finger to somebody's forehead is akin to having a single soldier stand directly on another country's border. No matter how small, no matter how little the breach, it is still a hostile act, without exception.

I know that's not a particularly popular view or anything, but it is reality.

 
JPINFV 2008-03-29 09:47:25 PM  
The surprising thing is that even the cops went, "Errr, that's not criminal ya panzies."

 
Pashan8 2008-03-29 09:48:27 PM  
the ha ha guy: Teacher, apply directly to the forehead.

I LOL'd!!!

 
Arthur Jumbles [TotalFark] 2008-03-29 09:54:38 PM  
Imagine being a lawyer who is forced to wear a ball-gag when presiding a case.

Imagine being an author who can only write using toilet paper and a magic marker.

Imagine being a baseball player who is required to wear boxing gloves and lead weights while on the field.

If you can do that then you understand how it feels to be a teacher in America's public schools. While there are some bad teachers the vast majority are simply unable to do the job they signed up for because the system is no longer up to the task.

 
Rakishi 2008-03-29 09:56:14 PM  
Dr. Mojo PhD: So where do you draw your line? After all if I breather in the same room as you I am hitting you with molecules that leave my body so that's assault. Shining a flashlight at you is hitting you with light (which does have a very tiny amount of momentum) which is assault according to you. Actually simply standing in front of you means I reflect light at you which is apparently assault. I also wonder about gravitational attraction.

I know that's not a particularly popular view or anything, but it is reality.

No it's YOUR view of reality and nothing else. In some cultures standing close to someone is considered very rude while in other simply showing them a certain part of your body is considered very rude. I'm sure in some cultures they'd kill you for one of the previous two.

 
Joce678 2008-03-29 09:56:28 PM  
Average discipline at this school just went down three h7undred points. Now all the kids know for sure that they can do whatever the fark they want to.

 
JonnyBGoode 2008-03-29 09:56:34 PM  
This hypersensitivity to abuse nonsense has become psychotic.

 
Lexarius 2008-03-29 09:57:38 PM  
I'm an instructor and I tapped two students on the heads before realizing CAN'T TOUCH STUDENTS EVAR!!!! this week so I'm getting a kick out of these replies.

But seriously. Having to treat students as though they were composed of antimatter is some scary stuff sometimes. One of my fellow instructors got suddenly hugged by a grateful student in our office the other week, which was really weird.

 
mmagdalene [TotalFark] 2008-03-29 09:58:07 PM  
Dr. Mojo PhD: Might I just remind anybody and everybody that absolutely nobody has the right to touch anybody without the second party's permission, in any way, ever? There are exceptions, naturally, such as when not touching the person (to restrain them, etc) would naturally result in a larger crime being committed, in which case it is simply a measurement of greatest gain/least loss.

Oh, in an ideal world - not in America's classrooms. I teach two boys who should be receiving Special Ed services but somehow, there's no money for it. They've both been held back a year because their disruptive behavior has prevented them from learning, so they're larger than their classmates.

Every single school day, I have to non-violently restrain one of these boys from hitting, kicking or tackling another child. One child simply cannot work independently or participate in group activities unless I'm right there next to him. I also give my 1st graders hugs when they ask for them - it may be the only kind touch they get all day.

I don't know any other way to teach and yes, it may well be my downfall one day.

 
Rakishi 2008-03-29 09:59:04 PM  
Dr. Mojo PhD: There are exceptions, naturally, such as when not touching the person (to restrain them, etc) would naturally result in a larger crime being committed, in which case it is simply a measurement of greatest gain/least loss.

Well in this case the teacher considered this worth it in light of the potential negative future impact on the child's education had it not been done. It's actually possible to argue that pretty much anything is good in light of future benefit.

 
MBooda 2008-03-29 09:59:15 PM  
Student's name wasn't Doogie by any chance?
www.variety.com
/hard target to miss
//could've had a V-16

 
bounty 2008-03-29 10:01:21 PM  
Aren't they supposed to be touching the tip of their fingers to these students genitals?

Oh and, was she hot?

 
Dr. Mojo PhD [TotalFark] 2008-03-29 10:01:38 PM  
Rakishi: Dr. Mojo PhD: So where do you draw your line? After all if I breather in the same room as you I am hitting you with molecules that leave my body so that's assault. Shining a flashlight at you is hitting you with light (which does have a very tiny amount of momentum) which is assault according to you. Actually simply standing in front of you means I reflect light at you which is apparently assault. I also wonder about gravitational attraction.

Do photons or atmosphere carry your particular genotype? Because I recall saying -- and after scrolling up and looking, have verified that I did say -- "nobody has the right to touch anybody without the second party's permission, in any way". Nobody implies a person, which implies particular alleles and whatnot. Incidental collisions from photons reflecting off of, or atmosphere exhaled by pressure from, that particular lump of genetic code, do not, and cannot, constitute a body.

I'm sure while you thought your point was very clever, had you thought it through more you would realise that by attempting to anthropomorphise the inanimate (called the pathetic fallacy, by the way) your argument was invalid.

No it's YOUR view of reality and nothing else. In some cultures standing close to someone is considered very rude while in other simply showing them a certain part of your body is considered very rude. I'm sure in some cultures they'd kill you for one of the previous two.

And in this culture, the one WE live in, it is the law. Thus, that law is reality.

 
shadowself 2008-03-29 10:02:30 PM  
The teacher "used the tip of her finger and patted (the student) on the forehead," (Cpl. Craig) Cooper (of the South Pasadena Police Department) said. "She was all, `Come on, you, you can do better than that."'

"She was all..." - what? ADULTS are saying that now? Did he also use the gems "she was like..." and "whoa, DUDE!"?

 
Studio Ghibli 2008-03-29 10:02:33 PM  
.. why do I want to teach again?

I suppose it's because I love dealing with overprotective parents, stupid students, and a litigation-happy society that'll tear into my ass for even the smallest infraction that--if I were not a teacher--would otherwise be overlooked.

Well, that, or because I had some silly notion of helping the future by changing the youth of today. Every time these articles pop up on FARK though, -anything else- keeps on looking better and better.

 
Violet Son 2008-03-29 10:03:08 PM  
I quit teaching because of that sort of political baloney. The need to practice for the standardized tests kept me from teaching many lessons that I thought the kids would find interesting, and our litigious culture made me too afraid to interact with the kids on any significant level. Without those two things, there was NOTHING left that made me want to keep up the good fight. I'd have liked to ask other male teachers in the school what kept them going, but there weren't any.

:(

 
oodja 2008-03-29 10:04:17 PM  
www.the700level.com

NO TOUCHING!

 
fat boy 2008-03-29 10:04:20 PM  
Jeez, Back when I was in high school, I mouthed off to a teacher, he hade me go stand in the corner. he caught me looking around and flatpalmed the back of my head into the corner.

 
Seasons I'v Withered 2008-03-29 10:04:48 PM  
the ha ha guy

Teacher, apply directly to the foreskin.

Teacher, apply directly to the foreskin.

Teacher, apply directly to the foreskin.


/Fixed that for ya.

 
Barakku [TotalFark] 2008-03-29 10:05:02 PM  
Violet Son: I quit teaching because of that sort of political baloney. The need to practice for the standardized tests kept me from teaching many lessons that I thought the kids would find interesting, and our litigious culture made me too afraid to interact with the kids on any significant level. Without those two things, there was NOTHING left that made me want to keep up the good fight. I'd have liked to ask other male teachers in the school what kept them going, but there weren't any.

:(


*Drools* political baloney...

/Mmmm-litigilitious!

 
vudukungfu 2008-03-29 10:06:54 PM  
In 4th grade this wierd kid pushed me downin the hallway and started dryhumping me for about a scond, while I was yelling knock it off! get off!, and suddenly the weight was lifted off as my teacher booted his ass right over my head.
Same tacher told us 4th graders he caught his 14 year old with playboy, and he wasn't just reading the articles, adn he was disgusted that the kid was looking at women like meat, and asked us what we thought about it. Same school in sex ed in 8th grade when my sex ed teacher Ms. Ball, said look at women as a whole, not as a hole.
It's sad to think that today, kids don't have human beings as teachers. They have frightened pseudo public servants.

 
Rakishi 2008-03-29 10:07:07 PM  
Dr. Mojo PhD: Do photons or atmosphere carry your particular genotype? Because I recall saying -- and after scrolling up and looking, have verified that I did say -- "nobody has the right to touch anybody without the second party's permission, in any way". Nobody implies a person, which implies particular alleles and whatnot. Incidental collisions from photons reflecting off of, or atmosphere exhaled by pressure from, that particular lump of genetic code, do not, and cannot, constitute a body.

So I can shoot you with a gun and you won't mind? After all I'm not touching you, it's simply the bullet which is not in any way a part of me.

I'm sure while you thought your point was very clever, had you thought it through more you would realise that by attempting to anthropomorphise the inanimate (called the pathetic fallacy, by the way) your argument was invalid.

I'm not anthropomorphizing anything, I'm asking where you draw the line at "touching someone." Apparently the point of my response was lost on you so I'm now going to ask you more directly, where do you draw the line?

And in this culture, the one WE live in, it is the law. Thus, that law is reality.

That's a horrendously frightening statement actually to think that the law defines reality itself. I mean thinking it defines, or even represents, morality or the way things should be is frightening already but to take it one step further is just disturbing.

 
unholycode76 2008-03-29 10:07:16 PM  
Dr. Mojo PhD: Might I just remind anybody and everybody that absolutely nobody has the right to touch anybody without the second party's permission, in any way, ever? There are exceptions, naturally, such as when not touching the person (to restrain them, etc) would naturally result in a larger crime being committed, in which case it is simply a measurement of greatest gain/least loss.

Still, that said, you cannot simply touch somebody because you feel like proving your point or because you believe you have the right to; each individual is sovereign over his or her own body. In this way touching your finger to somebody's forehead is akin to having a single soldier stand directly on another country's border. No matter how small, no matter how little the breach, it is still a hostile act, without exception.

I know that's not a particularly popular view or anything, but it is reality.


I'd like to "thank" you and everyone who thinks like you for making this country (and a few others around this world) for making it what it is today.

 
zjbs14 2008-03-29 10:07:47 PM  
In today's world, every one of my elementary school teachers would have done prison time. One of them kept his paddle in a hand-tooled leather holster.

 
jruland 2008-03-29 10:07:48 PM  
Dr. Mojo PhD: Might I just remind anybody and everybody that absolutely nobody has the right to touch anybody without the second party's permission, in any way, ever? There are exceptions, naturally, such as when not touching the person (to restrain them, etc) would naturally result in a larger crime being committed, in which case it is simply a measurement of greatest gain/least loss.

Still, that said, you cannot simply touch somebody because you feel like proving your point or because you believe you have the right to; each individual is sovereign over his or her own body. In this way touching your finger to somebody's forehead is akin to having a single soldier stand directly on another country's border. No matter how small, no matter how little the breach, it is still a hostile act, without exception.

I know that's not a particularly popular view or anything, but it is reality.


oh it's you again. you're a dumb fark.

 
MadAzza [TotalFark] 2008-03-29 10:08:14 PM  
buzzgoat: real shaman: Please read TFA.... this teacher will not be allowed to teach again in this district because she touched her finger to the kids head.

These school district people are farkin idiots....

This

fire the farker that called the police should be the districts next "move"


The kid or its parent likely is who called the police.

This pisses me off so much. This teacher won't be able to teach in that district anymore and everyone is having a cow because she ENCOURAGED A STUDENT TO DO BETTER.

Goodbye, America. You had a good run, but it's over now.

 
Carl Childers 2008-03-29 10:08:39 PM  
tara 2.0
these are judgement calls made by a professional human. Society ( yes farkers too!) feels that teachers should NEVER screw up a jugement call. Fire any one that screws up a judgement call.
Sometimes I wish I worked in a more respected job like a lawyer.


judgment. FTFY

/lawyer
//eat me
///taste like chicken, in litigation

 
Dr. Mojo PhD [TotalFark] 2008-03-29 10:08:46 PM  
mmagdalene: Oh, in an ideal world - not in America's classrooms. I teach two boys who should be receiving Special Ed services but somehow, there's no money for it. They've both been held back a year because their disruptive behavior has prevented them from learning, so they're larger than their classmates.

Every single school day, I have to non-violently restrain one of these boys from hitting, kicking or tackling another child. One child simply cannot work independently or participate in group activities unless I'm right there next to him. I also give my 1st graders hugs when they ask for them - it may be the only kind touch they get all day.


There's nothing wrong, in my view, of hugging a student if they ask for it. I've hugged plenty of my teachers -- even as a high-school student and after leaving high school.

The fact that you can't restrain the kid(s?) in any forceful way is a little disturbing. Assuming they warrant it, of course -- excessive force is always wrong. I remember one time a special ed kid at my high school who was moderately mentally retarded and emotionally unstable took a steak knife and attempted to attack his wheel-chair bound friend. Two teachers tackled him, literally tackled, football-style, to keep the other kid from getting stabbed or cut. There was no consequences for them, naturally, because they did it to preserve the non-aggressor's safety.

Rakishi: Well in this case the teacher considered this worth it in light of the potential negative future impact on the child's education had it not been done. It's actually possible to argue that pretty much anything is good in light of future benefit.

You would have to prove that a reasonable person believed touching somebody on the forehead would necessarily or with high probability enhance their future education. It's not impossible to prove, but it is highly improbable. That is why we let police officers use deadly force against a person if that person is threatening the life of another person, but we do not let police officers use deadly force against a person if that person might at some time in the future do the same.

 
dashminus 2008-03-29 10:09:35 PM  
I'd be afraid too!!!


www.desitunes4u.com

 
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