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(Telegraph) Asinine New mothers in America demanding "push presents" including diamonds and expensive trips after giving birth   (telegraph.co.uk) divider line 350
More: Asinine  
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T.M.S. [TotalFark] 2008-03-23 12:07:14 AM  
My wife swears I am the only one who has never heard of this.

 
BobtheFascist 2008-03-23 12:13:20 AM  
The entire country is going "My Sweet 16" on us.

 
SpaceyCat [TotalFark] 2008-03-23 12:13:48 AM  
This is crazy. Commercialism is taking over EVERYTHING!

 
mr_crash_davis 2008-03-23 12:27:01 AM  
I say give your wife a pearl necklace in the first place and avoid having to give her a "push present".

 
soze [TotalFark] 2008-03-23 12:37:06 AM  
Shut up, biatch. You've got the gift of life, now farking deal with it.

 
Cyxneo 2008-03-23 12:39:37 AM  
And all I wanted was a sammich....

 
40below [TotalFark] 2008-03-23 12:39:59 AM  
As the father of two kids, I've always said labour is harder on the dad, but I didn't get any damn gifts.

 
nobozo 2008-03-23 12:40:12 AM  
An asshat insurance company gave my neighbor a push out of hospital door 16 hours after giving birth.

/ does that count?

 
klisejo 2008-03-23 12:40:37 AM  
Ok wait shes the one who wanted kids in the first place....

 
bingethinker [TotalFark] 2008-03-23 12:41:04 AM  
Can I just leave a twenty on the dresser for this "special event" like I do for all the others?

Mercenary twat

 
Gyrfalcon [TotalFark] 2008-03-23 12:41:07 AM  
Yeah, right. Guys, if you wanna do your new moms a favor, pick up a couple of those three a.m. feedings and let her sleep a couple of nights. Oh, and change a few stinky dipies without being asked. She'll love you forever.

 
Sgt. Expendable [TotalFark] 2008-03-23 12:41:09 AM  
I have not heard of this, and it makes no sense to me.

"Hooray! We have a new child and we're happy! Now that our financial burden has increased dramatically, lets go buy an extremely expensive and ultimately useless item!"

 
IrishDrunk [TotalFark] 2008-03-23 12:41:31 AM  
I completely believe in this.

Watermelon thru a keyhole!
I would demand presents.

 
LudditeAndroid 2008-03-23 12:41:39 AM  
But I thought you could never ever ever be happy and fulfilled and actualized unless you were crapping out babies? You need MORE?

 
SilentObserver 2008-03-23 12:41:42 AM  
Nothing says you care like a hand-made push present.

Step 1. Cut a hole in a box.

 
Freak 2008-03-23 12:42:18 AM  
I have three things to say about this.


1) This is the first time I've heard of this trend, so either the media is exaggerating it and trying to make it a trend, or I'm completely out of touch.

2) EVERYTHING is commercialized. Every company wants a piece of every holiday (give your special someone a diamond for Columbus day!) and now they're making up occasions for gift giving.

4) Women are whores.

 
luckybob343 2008-03-23 12:42:54 AM  
Hell, full contact with my wang is gift enough. I don't want the neighbors thinking I spoil her.

 
pauly99 2008-03-23 12:42:56 AM  
Greedy . . . .

Selfish . . .

Biatches . . .

 
homerjaythompson 2008-03-23 12:43:01 AM  
SilentObserver: Nothing says you care like a hand-made push present.

Step 1. Cut a hole in a box.



I lol'd

 
ProvehitoInAltum 2008-03-23 12:43:02 AM  
This will be an EPIC thread...

 
redbloodwyn 2008-03-23 12:43:07 AM  
Who are the men buying into this type of thing? Seriously, I know the regular, legal poon is nice but hookers are so much cheaper nowadays. Even the ones who don't smoke crack.

 
N. S. Radieaux 2008-03-23 12:43:20 AM  
Do you think the rest of us care about your baby as much as you do? Just because you let some useless tosser blow his beans up your muff?

 
EightDeerOcelotClaw 2008-03-23 12:43:29 AM  
We're no strangers to love
You know the rules and so do I
A full commitment's what I'm thinking of
You wouldn't get this from any other guy

I just wanna tell you how I'm feeling
Gotta make you understand

* Never gonna give you up
Never gonna let you down
Never gonna run around and desert you
Never gonna make you cry
Never gonna say goodbye
Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you

We've know each other for so long
Your heart's been aching
But you're too shy to say it
Inside we both know what's been going on
We know the game and we're gonna play it

And if you ask me how I'm feeling
Don't tell me you're too blind to see

(* repeat)

give you up. give you up
give you up, give you up
never gonna give
never gonna give, give you up
never gonna give
never gonna give, give you up

I just wanna tell you how I'm feeling
Gotta make you understand

(* repeat 3 times)

 
Placenta for Breakfast 2008-03-23 12:43:45 AM  
T.M.S.: My wife swears I am the only one who has never heard of this.

How? It's only on Fark about 3 times per year.

 
miss_enthropic_biatch 2008-03-23 12:43:52 AM  
Never heard of that.

 
Somacandra [TotalFark] 2008-03-23 12:44:02 AM  
T.M.S.: My wife swears I am the only one who has never heard of this.

My wife and are the proud American parents of a 6-month old, and neither of us have heard of this bullshiat. No other parents we know have either. And expensive trips? Who's up for a goddamn vacation when you can't sleep more that 3 hours at a farking time for months on end?

I call SHENANIGANS.

 
JesseL [TotalFark] 2008-03-23 12:44:05 AM  
40below: As the father of two kids, I've always said labour is harder on the dad, but I didn't get any damn gifts.

Goddamn right!

My wife had a c-section, but I got to learn to take care of newborn and a convalescent wife, while she got to lie in bed and enjoy some nice opiates.

 
Lt Shiny Sides [recently expired TotalFark] 2008-03-23 12:44:23 AM  
oh, pfft.
That's stupid.

 
Crosshair [TotalFark] 2008-03-23 12:45:15 AM  
nobozo: An asshat insurance company gave my neighbor a push out of hospital door 16 hours after giving birth.

/ does that count?


Depends, was there any reason to keep the mother in the hospital? Many hospitals are minimizing post-labor hospitalization because unless some complications arise, there is little need to keep them there. Give mom a prescription from some pain killers if needed and a hotline number to call if anything happens

 
Mentat [TotalFark] 2008-03-23 12:45:41 AM  
Freak: 1) This is the first time I've heard of this trend, so either the media is exaggerating it and trying to make it a trend, or I'm completely out of touch.

Wait a minute... does that mean that metrosexuals aren't real?

 
Mista Sparkle 2008-03-23 12:46:01 AM  
hahaha, no way my wife will ever get something like that out of me... not that I'm married...

 
melaniethepanda [TotalFark] 2008-03-23 12:46:24 AM  
Gyrfalcon: Yeah, right. Guys, if you wanna do your new moms a favor, pick up a couple of those three a.m. feedings and let her sleep a couple of nights. Oh, and change a few stinky dipies without being asked. She'll love you forever.

You have the right idea.

Why on earth would you want to go even more into debt right after you've pushed out a money spending machine??

 
Somacandra [TotalFark] 2008-03-23 12:46:46 AM  
N. S. Radieaux: Just because you let some useless tosser blow his beans up your muff?

caseman.files.wordpress.com

 
CygnusDarius [TotalFark] 2008-03-23 12:47:01 AM  
BobtheFascist: The entire country is going "My Sweet 16" on us.

The US is, little by little, becoming more and more like the Roman Empire. That means you've got vomitoriums and orgies to look foward to.

 
neocssck 2008-03-23 12:47:33 AM  
This is for rich people who are already spoiled, IMO.

/glad I'm single

 
Bonzo_1116 2008-03-23 12:47:35 AM  
I've never heard of this.

It sounds like the bridal/jewelery industry is having mission creep again.

/more. shiny. rocks.

 
HMS_Blinkin 2008-03-23 12:48:21 AM  
Another reason for me to never get married.

 
F42 2008-03-23 12:48:23 AM  
Men want physical bonuses from women.
Women want material bonuses from men.

 
SuperTramp [TotalFark] 2008-03-23 12:48:24 AM  
Oooh Baby, baby
PUsh it good

 
hotter than the ads 2008-03-23 12:48:53 AM  
Yes, this is clearly the fault of demanding American women. Definitely not in any way related to the fact that any excuse to turn a profit is a good one in American society. Those poor corporations . . . FORCED to shove the concept of "push presents" out of their profit-distended vaginae . . .

/The word itself makes some men uncomfortable.
//
///
////Vagina.

 
Masterstuff 2008-03-23 12:48:58 AM  
How about a basket of fruit with a card saying, "Thanks for the crotchfruit"?

/next will be 1 week anniversaries of pushing.

 
catsass 2008-03-23 12:49:31 AM  
I didn't expect Jack for having my children, so I wasn't disappointed when that's what I got. If some women are getting jewelry and cruises, clearly they know something I don't.

/like maybe how to suck the chrome off a trailer hitch?

 
The Whore Of Mensa 2008-03-23 12:50:00 AM  
Somacandra: T.M.S.: My wife swears I am the only one who has never heard of this.

My wife and are the proud American parents of a 6-month old, and neither of us have heard of this bullshiat. No other parents we know have either. And expensive trips? Who's up for a goddamn vacation when you can't sleep more that 3 hours at a farking time for months on end?

I call SHENANIGANS.


I'm guessing this is for that small segment of the population who can drop 2K on a diamond-and-sapphire ring without blinking. They probably have nannies and such to care for the child while they gallivant about.

congrats on the new baby! and here's to hoping he/she sleeps more than 3 at a go... soon. ^_^

 
Somacandra [TotalFark] 2008-03-23 12:50:18 AM  
Gyrfalcon: Guys, if you wanna do your new moms a favor, pick up a couple of those three a.m. feedings and let her sleep a couple of nights. Oh, and change a few stinky dipies without being asked. She'll love you forever.

Of course, men should be doing that anyway without being asked. It's called being a "decent father."

 
Ima_kitty! 2008-03-23 12:50:26 AM  
WTF????

yeah, lets shower women who are performing the most instinctual human function (besides shiating) with lavish gifts.

Please. Women should be rewarded with making the intelligent conscious decision of NOT reproducing and making the world suck even more with their spoiled crotch fruit.

Oh, and +1 for Jennifer Garner from TFA
I never really cared for her much, but have a new respect.

/Woman
//no kids
///way too selfish

 
Eutamias21 [TotalFark] 2008-03-23 12:50:54 AM  
FTA: Fathers now not only have to make it to the delivery room on time, but had better come brandishing more than a bunch of flowers.

Arriving at the delivery room on time? Now that's just asking WAY too much.

 
fotojenic 2008-03-23 12:51:51 AM  
All I will ask for after the birth of my child is that my husband continue working and bringing home those checks so I don't have to work and subsequently let someone else raise my child.

 
Somacandra [TotalFark] 2008-03-23 12:52:15 AM  
The Whore Of Mensa: congrats on the new baby! and here's to hoping he/she sleeps more than 3 at a go... soon. ^_^

Thanks! She's awesome, but she's grown very tall without chubbing out, so I think she doesn't have enough fat yet for longer night sleeping. Wouldn't trade it for anything though :)

 
Moonfisher 2008-03-23 12:52:26 AM  
I just popped one out of my baby shooter two years ago and I never heard of this. You have a beautiful new baby; isn't that enough? All I farking wanted was a good night's sleep on my tummy again after all those months.

 
poteet 2008-03-23 12:52:33 AM  
Am I the only one who hates news articles that make gross over-generalizations about an entire country's population? American moms are demanding "push presents". Really? All of them? Every single one? Some celebrities and a few upper class couples now qualify as the entire country? Because something tells me that Sally Jo from the trailer park down the street isn't going to be demanding a diamond tennis bracelet after she pushes out crotchfruit #7.

End rant. I probably should have read the article more in-depth, but oh well.

T.M.S., I have never heard of these so-called "push presents" either, but perhaps I'd be pushing out more babies if there were diamonds or trips to Hawaii involved.

 
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