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(London Times) Obvious "Why are you washing your car in the first place? Bathing it will not increase its life expectancy or decrease the chances of a breakdown. All it does really is demonstrate to others that you have a tiny mind and an empty life"   (driving.timesonline.co.uk) divider line 405
More: Obvious  

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bessyglass [TotalFark] 2008-03-16 07:36:17 PM  
You have to do all the exercises favoured by homosexuals in gyms. Bending over, stretching, rubbing. But at least when homosexuals finish, they have glistening, toned bodies that make them look good.

 
kronicfeld [TotalFark] 2008-03-16 07:40:43 PM  
That's why I don't shower.

 
sugarpop 2008-03-16 07:44:31 PM  
"You don't wash your vacuum cleaner or your television set"

I bet if pigeons shat on them, he would.

 
charmed1782 2008-03-16 07:49:26 PM  
I have an empty life and I don't wash my car. SO THERE FOR YOUR ANALOGY.

 
Lord of Allusions [TotalFark] 2008-03-16 07:55:09 PM  
Resale value, dumbass.

 
dewars-rocks [TotalFark] 2008-03-16 07:58:01 PM  
Chicks dig shiny things.

Hell, i dig shiny things.

 
ScubaDude1960 [TotalFark] 2008-03-16 08:12:08 PM  
I've found that the best way to wash a car is to drive real fast in the rain.

 
AmazingRuss 2008-03-16 08:17:02 PM  
I washed it in december, but the paint started coming off. It looks kind of like a filthy heifer now.

/which is kind of hot

 
The H Dominator [TotalFark] 2008-03-16 08:22:27 PM  
It makes sense to me to wash the under-carriage if you drive on salted roads.

 
40below [TotalFark] 2008-03-16 08:32:54 PM  
The H Dominator: It makes sense to me to wash the under-carriage if you drive on salted roads

Or on roads with a lot of bicyclists. Those things can really beat the hell out your suspension unless you pressure-wash them out promptly.

 
kmmontandon [TotalFark] 2008-03-16 08:57:20 PM  
Washing and waxing keeps the paint from fading.

Also, some of us have the slightest shred of dignity.

 
lotustuned 2008-03-16 09:03:53 PM  
sugarpop: "You don't wash your vacuum cleaner or your television set"

I bet if pigeons shat on them, he would.



I accept your challenge. Quickly, to the pigeonareium!!!1

 
LordPistachio 2008-03-16 09:10:26 PM  
Anyone who takes good care of their single most expensive possession must have an empty life. OK, buddy.

I guess they don't salt the roads in winter in Jolly Olde England.

 
abb3w [TotalFark] 2008-03-16 09:19:05 PM  
sugarpop: I bet if pigeons shat on them, he would.

THIS...

The H Dominator: It makes sense to me to wash the under-carriage if you drive on salted roads.

and THAT.

The point is to keep corrosion down, by washing off stuff that increases corrosion rates. That said, a couple times a year is plenty for most of the US. Those driving in NY/NE winters may want to check out for a place with "unlimited washes for $$$/month" in season. Those living within 5 miles of a saltwater coast are pretty much screwed.

 
dustman81 [TotalFark] 2008-03-16 09:19:41 PM  
Because they use salt here and I don't want my car to dissolve

 
whiskeyinthejar [recently expired TotalFark] 2008-03-16 09:31:28 PM  
Why do you comb your hair, subby? Why do you put on deodorant? Why do you vacuum your carpet? Why do you launder your clothes? Don't be a dipshiat.

 
Action Replay Nick [recently expired TotalFark] 2008-03-16 09:33:50 PM  
I don't wash my car, I take it to Pelican Car Wash every couple of months and the Mexicans take care of it for $7.

 
darkhorse23 [TotalFark] 2008-03-16 09:37:11 PM  
Because you can't drive around with evidence dirt and some red and gray stuff all over the grill. That would be stupid.

 
AmazingRuss 2008-03-16 09:41:19 PM  
LordPistachio: Anyone who takes good care of their single most expensive possession must have an empty life. OK, buddy.

If your most valuable possession is your car, and you are over 18, yes. How well you take care of the car doesn't enter into it at all.

 
darkhorse23 [TotalFark] 2008-03-16 09:48:44 PM  
AmazingRuss: If your most valuable possession is your car, and you are over 18, yes. How well you take care of the car doesn't enter into it at all.

You know, this is why we can't have good things anymore. One person gets snarky, then someone else's better-than-thou bubble starts to swell, then BOOM, there's sticky shiat all over the living room and everybody is fighting.

I swear to god I will turn this thread around and take you all home, you can sit in your room with no toys or TV, and THINK about what you did.

 
Zalan [TotalFark] 2008-03-16 09:51:41 PM  
AmazingRuss: If your most valuable possession is your car, and you are over 18, yes. How well you take care of the car doesn't enter into it at all.

Let me guess, you were pressure washed as a child?

 
darkhorse23 [TotalFark] 2008-03-16 09:52:57 PM  
Zalan: Let me guess, you were pressure washed as a child?

www.panoriental.com

 
AmazingRuss 2008-03-16 10:12:04 PM  
Zalan:
Let me guess, you were pressure washed as a child?


Yes, and I LIKED it. In fact, I'm pressure washing myself now.

 
BKITU [TotalFark] 2008-03-16 10:25:11 PM  
Seriously! Why do you wipe your ass after taking a shiat? I mean, you're just gonna get shiat all over your ass again the next day....

 
dillenger69 [TotalFark] 2008-03-16 10:28:55 PM  
There are parts of the US where your car will rust from salt in the air or salt on the road if you don't wash it regularly.

Luckily I don't live in either one of those regions so I almost never wash my car.

 
JerseyTim [TotalFark] 2008-03-16 10:31:45 PM  
Washing your car is not the same as good hygiene. Keeping your car clean is pure vanity. It's something most of us due, but there's no real logical reason to do so that isn't image conscience.

 
BKITU [TotalFark] 2008-03-16 10:40:10 PM  
JerseyTim: Washing your car is not the same as good hygiene. Keeping your car clean is pure vanity. It's something most of us due, but there's no real logical reason to do so that isn't image conscience.

Check the post above yours, and guess again.

/lives walking distance to the Pacific

 
ceejayoz 2008-03-16 10:44:19 PM  
JerseyTim: Washing your car is not the same as good hygiene. Keeping your car clean is pure vanity. It's something most of us due, but there's no real logical reason to do so that isn't image conscience.

I love it when people skip the thread on the way to the comment box.

I'll add one to the list: washing my car means I'm less likely to wind up with salt and dirt grime on my work clothes when I get in and out.

 
paygun 2008-03-16 10:44:24 PM  
This submission is proof that reddit users are defecting to fark.

 
phlegmmo 2008-03-16 10:44:51 PM  
Dip. shiat.

Stop blowing your nose. It won't make it last longer.

 
Shnakepup 2008-03-16 10:44:58 PM  
Eh, my car is old and crappy anyway. If I ever try to sell it or trade it in, washing it will make a $5 difference in the resale value. Luckily for me, it rains often enough for it not to be a huge deal anyway.

 
pugsleythegreat 2008-03-16 10:45:42 PM  
I keep the inside nice, because I sit in there. but having a really farking disgusting car has it's benefits...

A friend of mine hid a large quantity of teh reefer in an old mcdonalds bag and the cop who searched his car never found it

so there.

 
MagTour 2008-03-16 10:46:00 PM  
I believe exterior and interior upkeep will uphold the value of said vehicle.

Once owned a show car.. won a couple of 1st place awards.. could've won more, but there was a 1" tear in the seat.. kept me from getting an "Excellent" appraisal.

Keeping up with washing and waxing will lengthen the paint job. Oxidation, salty air, dirt.. all these things contribute to the breakdown of the paint and metal. Washing a car eliminates the electrolytes that cause oxidation and rust. waxing protects the coating of the metal.

 
Gulper Eel [TotalFark] 2008-03-16 10:46:34 PM  
I wash the minivan because I have two small children who will try to draw on it with sidewalk chalk if I don't watch them every moment they're outside. And I guarantee you that if I've got a dirty minivan next week on Easter morning, the kids will lean up against the minivan in their Sunday finest right as we're leaving for church.

Yeah, minivan. One day you too will know its glory.

 
phlegmmo 2008-03-16 10:46:42 PM  
It's something most of us due..

Some of us also know how to spell.

 
sombreradoraloca 2008-03-16 10:46:59 PM  
Because it shows that you actually give a shiat about the state of your property? If you try to resell it, people aren't going to be too willing to buy something that has 10 years of shiat, dust, and tar all over it.

But then, the author lives in England, so that's what accumulates on an average day.

 
JerseyTim [TotalFark] 2008-03-16 10:47:17 PM  
BKITU: Check the post above yours, and guess again.

/lives walking distance to the Pacific


Keeping your car free from rust is still a cosmetic issue. Of course, not wanting to be the "lets-his-car-rust-up guy" is not unreasonable. But, a car with a bad paint job and the same car perfectly waxed both do their jobs equally well.

 
DIGITALgimpus 2008-03-16 10:47:29 PM  
Resale value, dumbass.


Joke's on you. Cars loose too much value to quick. It's worth more to you as a vehicle if you drive it until it dies, than if you sell it. No matter what, people who by a used a car get the better deal.

Because of that, your wasting your time. The increase in value isn't worth the time you spend washing.

Go mow your neighbors lawn. At least that way it's real cash in your pocket.

 
darth_nick23 2008-03-16 10:47:49 PM  
i wash my car every couple of months when dirt and shiat gets piled up on it. i take care of my stuff.

 
eatin' fetus 2008-03-16 10:48:17 PM  
Action Replay Nick: I don't wash my car, I take it to Pelican Car Wash every couple of months and the Mexicans take care of it for $7.


initial thought: "I bet you're Floridian"

::clicks profile::

me too, dude.

except i'm the mexican.

 
pocketrubbish 2008-03-16 10:48:27 PM  
Wow, did anybody here read the article and realize who the writer was? Jeremy Clarkson was being snarky about the Renault Laguna and he rather likes to build up his reviews before actually reviewing anything.

/Loves top gear

 
illustri 2008-03-16 10:49:21 PM  
but my penis is still big right?

right?

 
Freezebyte 2008-03-16 10:49:37 PM  
Because I work hard for my money, and I like to keep my "toys" looking good and new and if you don't like it, you can go chew on a rock.

It helps maintain the paint which in turn helps its resell value * private selling mostly* in the end.

Some people go through life not giving a crap on what kind of car they drive, especially in my neck of the woods. Nothing really say's " I don't give a shiat about my transporation" then a broken down, 4 dirt layered Ford Explorer belching oil smoke. But hey, if thats what you want outa life, nock yourself out.

I"ll be waving in my shiny, clean, cool A/C powered, pollen/smog air filtered Honda vehicle which I am proud to own and display. I work hard for my money and enjoy having/showing my car through my transit through my life.


i100.photobucket.com
/3rd Accord
//Honda 4 life!
///Armor alls and waxes religously
////vain for my own purpose

 
TheJoe03 [TotalFark] 2008-03-16 10:49:55 PM  
So the guy is saying that we should all drive cars with dirt, birdshiat, and other nasty things on them? The person who wrote this article is a douche, and I'd look down more on the person who is too lazy to wash their vehicle ever. Maybe some people appreciate things like a car, since they are expensive and very important, and maybe we want to keep them at least respectable on the road.

 
Somacandra [TotalFark] 2008-03-16 10:50:15 PM  
Submitter/Author obviously does not live in Michigan, where if you DON'T wash at least the underbelly of your car each month, you'll need a new muffler and exhaust system every six months from all the stupid salt on the roads in winter

 
HotRodHooligan 2008-03-16 10:50:18 PM  
JerseyTim: Washing your car is not the same as good hygiene. Keeping your car clean is pure vanity. It's something most of us due do, but there's no real logical reason to do so that isn't image conscience.

FTFY.

 
phlegmmo 2008-03-16 10:50:21 PM  
DIGITALgimpus: Cars loose too much value to quick.

rotsky?

 
texastag 2008-03-16 10:51:47 PM  
I knew a British guy who kept his car waxed and polished like new!

upload.wikimedia.org

Tiny mind? No.
Empty life? Well, his wife certainly kept him busy!

His brother in law on the other hand...

onslow.homecraftedsite.com

/Any more bacon?

 
meatofmystery 2008-03-16 10:52:21 PM  
POLLEN MOTHERFARKER, DO YOU SEE IT???

 
Jument 2008-03-16 10:52:26 PM  
The snark is strong in this thread...

 
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