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(Stuff) Amusing You'd expect to encounter a few uncooperative pricks at a sobriety checkpoint, but this takes the cake   (stuff.co.nz) divider line 95
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AMS0000 2008-03-16 05:22:35 PM  
I hate drunk driving with a passion, but I hate these unconstitutional checkpoints more.

 
Middletown Doug 2008-03-16 05:38:21 PM  
Where? Where does it take the cake? You know where I'd take a cake? To the bakery. To be with the other cakes.

//I less-than-three Carlin.

 
Crosshair [TotalFark] 2008-03-16 05:38:56 PM  
AMS0000: I hate drunk driving with a passion, but I hate these unconstitutional checkpoints more.

THIS. The idiotic supreme court basically said, "Yea, their unconstitutional, but it's for the 'public good' so go ahead."

Anyway, if I ever run across a checkpoint like this I'm going to put on my "Communist Russian" accent (12 years of theater really comes in handy) and make every Soviet Union reference I can as well as sneak some Russian into the conversation. (I'm not fluent in Russian, but I do know some words.) All the while completely cooperating with them.

It will annoy the hell out of them, but the only way they are going to arrest me is by planting crack in my $300 car.

 
Fluff Girl [TotalFark] 2008-03-16 05:58:19 PM  
Does mama have to do everything around here?

www.exposay.com

 
gundamtsubasa [TotalFark] 2008-03-16 06:00:39 PM  
FTFA: "'His reason for crossing the road was not ascertained and he was not breath-tested,' Senior Sergeant Brett Calkin said."

Maybe he was looking for Dinsdale Pirhana?

 
Pocket Ninja [TotalFark] 2008-03-16 06:02:27 PM  
Crosshair: Anyway, if I ever run across a checkpoint like this I'm going to put on my "Communist Russian" accent (12 years of theater really comes in handy) and make every Soviet Union reference I can as well as sneak some Russian into the conversation. (I'm not fluent in Russian, but I do know some words.) All the while completely cooperating with them.

You are clearly a rebel the likes of which the world has never seen, and we can all rest safer knowing that patriotic titans such as yourself are out there railing against governmental injustices and fighting the good fight for the common man. Your Fark tag should come with a Hero tag embedded in it. In fact, hell, they should just retire the Hero tag and replace it with a animated gif of fireworks exploding over your screenname.

 
Fluff Girl [TotalFark] 2008-03-16 06:17:17 PM  
Pocket Ninja:

I'm starting to love you.

 
Yesdog [TotalFark] 2008-03-16 06:19:32 PM  
I would be more sympathetic to the "Unconstitutional Checkpoint" cause if someone other than drunk-driving idiots ("Oh I just had a few! I can drive fine!") railed against them.

 
ZAZ [TotalFark] 2008-03-16 06:21:34 PM  
It will annoy the hell out of them, but the only way they are going to arrest me is by planting crack in my $300 car.

They'll just taser you a few times and say you were uncooperative. The video recorder will malfunction. If you manage to sue and win, the government will pick up the bill and the cops know it.

And yes I did RTFA and I was amused.

 
kbarham 2008-03-16 06:25:50 PM  
Middletown Doug: Where? Where does it take the cake? You know where I'd take a cake? To the bakery. To be with the other cakes.

I always liked their music!

img.photobucket.com

 
damfuus 2008-03-16 06:26:53 PM  
Sonic unavailable for comment.

 
soapdish 2008-03-16 06:27:25 PM  
FTFA: They included a 42-year-old woman who was almost three times the legal breath-alcohol limit, despite telling police she had had only two drinks.

Lightweight.

 
Yoleus [recently expired TotalFark] 2008-03-16 06:27:31 PM  
Crosshair:

How about if they plant a $300 car in your crack?

 
antidisestablishmentarianism 2008-03-16 06:28:20 PM  
I was pretty disappointed by the article after reading that headline.

/more cake references

 
AntiNorm [TotalFark] 2008-03-16 06:28:50 PM  
Yesdog: I would be more sympathetic to the "Unconstitutional Checkpoint" cause if someone other than drunk-driving idiots ("Oh I just had a few! I can drive fine!") railed against them.


This.

How people can defend drunk driving is beyond me.

 
johnny_vegas [TotalFark] 2008-03-16 06:29:06 PM  
Pocket Ninja: Crosshair: Anyway, if I ever run across a checkpoint like this I'm going to put on my "Communist Russian" accent (12 years of theater really comes in handy) and make every Soviet Union reference I can as well as sneak some Russian into the conversation. (I'm not fluent in Russian, but I do know some words.) All the while completely cooperating with them.

You are clearly a rebel the likes of which the world has never seen, and we can all rest safer knowing that patriotic titans such as yourself are out there railing against governmental injustices and fighting the good fight for the common man. Your Fark tag should come with a Hero tag embedded in it. In fact, hell, they should just retire the Hero tag and replace it with a animated gif of fireworks exploding over your screenname.


If i wasn't such a computer idiot I would put the animated pic of orson welles clapping here....

/kudos for a job VERY well done

 
fanbladesaresharp 2008-03-16 06:29:31 PM  
Hedgehog: Tastes like chicken pot pie.

 
Uncle Karl 2008-03-16 06:30:23 PM  
AntiNorm: Yesdog: I would be more sympathetic to the "Unconstitutional Checkpoint" cause if someone other than drunk-driving idiots ("Oh I just had a few! I can drive fine!") railed against them.


This.

How people can defend drunk driving is beyond me.


Drunk driving is wrong, I will not drive with in a few hours after each drink, but pull them over for doing something wrong, not hassle everyone on the damn road.

Just cause is not hard to find.

 
Jose628 2008-03-16 06:32:37 PM  
First, they came for drunk-driving idiots... And I did nothing because I wasn't a drunk-driving idiot...

 
Katzenjammer 2008-03-16 06:34:09 PM  
This appears to have happened in another country? But I agree, when they do this crap in the USA they are pissing on the Constitution. If they can stop every car on a given road and breathalize the drivers, why not knock on every door on a give street as well for on-the-spot drug tests?

 
TastyEloi 2008-03-16 06:37:26 PM  
Obligatory.

www.billzilla.org

 
Baron Von Bullshiat 2008-03-16 06:37:33 PM  
Pocket Ninja:
You are clearly a rebel the likes of which the world has never seen, and we can all rest safer knowing that patriotic titans such as yourself are out there railing against governmental injustices and fighting the good fight for the common man. Your Fark tag should come with a Hero tag embedded in it. In fact, hell, they should just retire the Hero tag and replace it with a animated gif of fireworks exploding over your screenname.


Best response ever.
i168.photobucket.com

 
The Invisible Sky Wizard 2008-03-16 06:37:34 PM  
AntiNorm:

How people can defend drunk driving is beyond me.


Clearly the fault lies not with the drunk driver, but with all the idiots in the opposing lane who keep getting in the way.

 
simpsonfan 2008-03-16 06:39:08 PM  
Drunk drivers who kill should be shot.

 
Crosshair [TotalFark] 2008-03-16 06:40:04 PM  
Pocket Ninja I bow to your impressive sarcasm skills.

ZAZ: They'll just taser you a few times and say you were uncooperative. The video recorder will malfunction. If you manage to sue and win, the government will pick up the bill and the cops know it.

Yea, that sounds about right. I accidentally grounded out a 240 volt 40 amp circuit once, in my right hand, out my left. (Don't remember a whole lot, just that it hurt like hell, my heart was beating funny for a little while afterwards, and I don't want to do it again.) So a taser should be rather tame by comparison, it's the damm nightsticks that are the problem.

Yoleus: How about if they plant a $300 car in your crack?

My butt isn't that big. It's not that my car is a junker, it's just under a salvage title cause the insurance company declared it totaled because the airbags went off. Very reliable car.

 
Kar98 2008-03-16 06:43:15 PM  
Middletown Doug: Where? Where does it take the cake? You know where I'd take a cake? To the bakery. To be with the other cakes.

//I less-than-three Carlin.


Carlin is an un-funny, lame and pretentious hippie prick who needs to get the fuk over himself. He's about as funny as Jerry Seinfeld, that is to say, dropping a cinder block on my foot is funnier.

 
puffy999 [TotalFark] 2008-03-16 06:45:33 PM  
AntiNorm: How people can defend drunk driving is beyond me.

Because that's not what people who hate these checkpoints are doing? The actual drunk drivers would complain for being pulled over NO MATTER WHAT, but these checkpoints are ridiculous.

I have personally received a speeding ticket from a police officer who was FIRED for arresting drivers (many of whom had consumed no alcohol, many blew well under the legal limit) for DUI (the officer, essentially every time, made up the same story for why those folks were pulled over... yet, somehow, it took YEARS for anyone with money to sue him... obviously the police kept letting it go, even though there were dozens of complaints over the years, and some cases that were dropped almost immediately for lack of evidence... of course, many of his cases resulted in convictions). In the state of Oregon, there can be absolutely no evidence to suggest your guilt, and the case can be thrown out the next day... but an ARREST for DUI goes on your driving record, and it doesn't come off (maybe after a few years... but I don't even know if that's the case).
Luckily, I was driving in the middle of the day, and he didn't pull that sh*t with me.

But to make the kind of logical leap you have made, I bet you believe those drivers with no alcohol in their systems deserved being arrested and charged with DUI.

 
fanbladesaresharp 2008-03-16 06:46:49 PM  
The Invisible Sky Wizard: AntiNorm:

How people can defend drunk driving is beyond me.

Clearly the fault lies not with the drunk driver, but with all the idiots in the opposing lane who keep getting in the way.


kntgsp: Drunk driving is wrong, I will not drive with in a few hours after each drink, but pull them over for doing something wrong, not hassle everyone on the damn road.

Just cause is not hard to find.

For emphasis.


And it's in New Zealand. Just how far do those drunken hedgehog idiots think they can go? The other side of the island?

 
puffy999 [TotalFark] 2008-03-16 06:47:29 PM  
And in some cases, convicted, based on the word of a lying police officer.

 
serial_crusher [TotalFark] 2008-03-16 06:49:33 PM  
Katzenjammer: This appears to have happened in another country? But I agree, when they do this crap in the USA they are pissing on the Constitution. If they can stop every car on a given road and breathalize the drivers, why not knock on every door on a give street as well for on-the-spot drug tests?

You know what other country had sobriety checkpoints?...

 
Danger Avoid Death 2008-03-16 06:50:36 PM  
Pocket Ninja

Wow. You must promise to only use your powers for the Good.

 
foxbrook78 2008-03-16 06:52:18 PM  
After Crosshair's entry for best internet toughguy- thespian style- in this thread, I can't resist:

They'll have a checkpoint set up later on Foothill/rt. 66 near me, due to the holiday weekend. I may check it out, sober of course, but in my Bug, which is too loud, too low, has no reverse lights or front bumper and an out-of-state plate (instead of the required 2).

In this case will they have probable cause to do anything about my "defective equipment" if I don't have booze on my breath?

 
OnlyM3 2008-03-16 06:53:04 PM  
You'd expect to encounter a few uncooperative pricks at a sobriety checkpoint, but this takes the cake

Aren't the uncooperative pricks the ones hiding behind their shields running the unconstitutional stop?

 
fanbladesaresharp 2008-03-16 06:54:36 PM  
Crosshair:

Yea, that sounds about right. I accidentally grounded out a 240 volt 40 amp circuit once, in my right hand, out my left. (Don't remember a whole lot, just that it hurt like hell, my heart was beating funny for a little while afterwards, and I don't want to do it again.) So a taser should be rather tame by comparison, it's the damm nightsticks that are the problem.



You should have been around when a certain temp worker at my work grabbed a bare 3-phase 480v wire that came loose from people yanking on it all the time. He damn near melted his arm off. Saw him a few days ago and his whole arm was black yellow and blue from the shoulder down.

 
st.theresa 2008-03-16 06:55:17 PM  
OnlyM3: You'd expect to encounter a few uncooperative pricks at a sobriety checkpoint, but this takes the cake

Aren't the uncooperative pricks the ones hiding behind their shields running the unconstitutional stop?


Yes but in this case, "cake" = "doughnut."

 
Danger Avoid Death 2008-03-16 06:55:50 PM  
OnlyM3: You'd expect to encounter a few uncooperative pricks at a sobriety checkpoint, but this takes the cake

Aren't the uncooperative pricks the ones hiding behind their shields running the unconstitutional stop?


They stick their shields on their pricks? Ouch!

 
senorglory 2008-03-16 06:59:54 PM  
1. Driving while intoxicated is fun. 2. Driving fast while intoxicated is especially fun.

i4.photobucket.com

 
Kanemano 2008-03-16 07:01:06 PM  
AMS0000: I hate drunk driving with a passion, but I hate these unconstitutional checkpoints more.

They have the US constitution in New Zealand now? Who would have guessed it.

I just got back from Australia and learn that the cops can and do bring drug dogs into the clubs and search everyone.

 
jso2897 2008-03-16 07:01:36 PM  
Kar98: Middletown Doug: Where? Where does it take the cake? You know where I'd take a cake? To the bakery. To be with the other cakes.

//I less-than-three Carlin.

Carlin is an un-funny, lame and pretentious hippie prick who needs to get the fuk over himself. He's about as funny as Jerry Seinfeld, that is to say, dropping a cinder block on my foot is funnier.


Now that you mention it, I think dropping a cinder block on your foot would be HILARIOUS. Let's do it.

 
El_Dan 2008-03-16 07:03:29 PM  
I'd be uncooperative, too, whether I was sober or not. Seeing as how they are a violation of the fourth amendment. And yes, I know there's a countervailing safety interest at stake, which is why they are legal in some states. But if you ask me, once 'safety' becomes an excuse to violate the constitution, the sky is the limit for what cops can, and will, do.

I mean, hell, no reason not to regularly inspect the homes of anyone who has kids, or whose neighbors have kids. Think of the children!

 
Bathia_Mapes [TotalFark] 2008-03-16 07:06:16 PM  
AMS0000: I hate drunk driving with a passion, but I hate these unconstitutional checkpoints more.

New Zealand adheres to the U.S. Constitution?

 
johnny_vegas [TotalFark] 2008-03-16 07:06:29 PM  
Kanemano: They have the US constitution in New Zealand now? Who would have guessed it.

Shhhh...don't let that little fact spoil all the edgy, attention whore US bashing.

 
andynz81 2008-03-16 07:08:01 PM  
Katzenjammer: This appears to have happened in another country? But I agree, when they do this crap in the USA they are pissing on the Constitution. If they can stop every car on a given road and breathalize the drivers, why not knock on every door on a give street as well for on-the-spot drug tests?

Probably something to do with the fact that when drunk, there is a direct and immediate increase in the odds that you'll crash your car, quite possibly taking down others in your Darwin-award hunting wake.

There was a checkpoint directly below our building on Saturday night. Made for a little light entertainment watching the dumbasses get ticketed.

 
teedeepee 2008-03-16 07:09:51 PM  
Fluff Girl: Pocket Ninja: I'm starting to love you.

Pocket Ninja's contributions have been showing up with a green background on my screen for quite some time now.

 
TheHopeDiamond 2008-03-16 07:09:55 PM  
Sorry. Your "Constitutional right" to drive drunk is trumped by my right not to be killed by your retarded asses.

 
Babbs 2008-03-16 07:11:43 PM  
El_Dan: I'd be uncooperative, too, whether I was sober or not. Seeing as how they are a violation of the fourth amendment. And yes, I know there's a countervailing safety interest at stake, which is why they are legal in some states. But if you ask me, once 'safety' becomes an excuse to violate the constitution, the sky is the limit for what cops can, and will, do.

I mean, hell, no reason not to regularly inspect the homes of anyone who has kids, or whose neighbors have kids. Think of the children!


Are you uncooperative when you pass through security at the airport? That's violating your fourth amendment rights, also. What about if you go to a venue where there are metal detectors or bag checks? I bet you arn't uncooperateive everytime your rights are violated, so STFU

 
Nook Schreier 2008-03-16 07:19:36 PM  
Yesdog: I would be more sympathetic to the "Unconstitutional Checkpoint" cause if someone other than drunk-driving idiots ("Oh I just had a few! I can drive fine!") railed against them.

I understand what you're saying, but I am against them, and I don't even have a license. Of course, the police keep trying to pull me over anyway!

 
deffuse 2008-03-16 07:23:29 PM  
Big Whippee. You stop for 5 seconds, say your name into a device, and your on you way, if you are sober, in 10 secs. I'd rather have that than some pissed up farktard ramming into me coming the other way to be honest. No Major interupption to my day, and honestly, its hardly 'unconstitutional', not that we have one here in NZ anyway.

 
rancid weasel 2008-03-16 07:23:30 PM  
Yesdog: I would be more sympathetic to the "Unconstitutional Checkpoint" cause if someone other than drunk-driving idiots ("Oh I just had a few! I can drive fine!") railed against them.

Okay then, I think they suck, and I don't drive drunk.

 
mastersleepy 2008-03-16 07:26:11 PM  
Haven't been on in a while and it's nice to see farkers are still tackling the hard issues. Could someone please point to the most recent epic gun thread, this one lacks the intensity I desire.

/slashies, I missed you most of all
//

 
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