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(Independent) Amusing Man stopped for driving while on cell phone; actually gets away in court with "I was only using it to warm my ear" excuse   (iol.co.za) divider line 55
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5201 clicks; posted to Main » on 16 Mar 2008 at 1:14 PM   |  Make this a Fark FavoriteFavorite    |   share: Share on OMGTWITTER WEB2.0share on StumbleUponshare on Facebook  more»   |    Get this fabulous T-Shirt and impress the methane out of your friends! shirt it!

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Pocket Ninja [TotalFark] 2008-03-16 09:47:46 AM  
The court accepted his claim after he produced an itemised telephone bill proving he had not been using the phone at the time he was stopped.

What this means is that he hadn't finished dialing or hadn't found the number yet and the call hadn't gone through.

 
nobozo 2008-03-16 10:26:15 AM  
Next best thing: The "batteries get warm during recharge" defense.

/ duhrrrr

 
Av8rLuvr [TotalFark] 2008-03-16 10:36:10 AM  
Wonder where he was 'warming it up' prior to applying it to his ear, hmmmm?

 
Sharch [TotalFark] 2008-03-16 10:38:59 AM  
Pocket Ninja: What this means is that he hadn't finished dialing or hadn't found the number yet and the call hadn't gone through.

Yeah. Another possibility is that he was talking on a second phone (eg from work).

 
milk_plus 2008-03-16 12:31:41 PM  
* Note to self: Open brothel under guise of penis warming service

 
RocketRod [TotalFark] 2008-03-16 12:48:38 PM  
Pocket Ninja: What this means could mean is that he hadn't finished dialing or hadn't found the number yet and the call hadn't gone through.

All the defense needs is a crack in the prosecution's claim... that's all.

 
pugsleythegreat 2008-03-16 01:15:51 PM  
Buy a farking god-farking damn hell arse headset if you REALLY must talk while driving. that is all.

 
Frosted Flake 2008-03-16 01:17:14 PM  
Call or no call, the bastard should have had to pay the fine anyway.

Next time he wants to warm his ear, he should use the cigarette lighter. No law against that.

 
kidsizedcoffin 2008-03-16 01:19:48 PM  
Frosted Flake: Call or no call, the bastard should have had to pay the fine anyway.

Next time he wants to warm his ear, he should use the cigarette lighter. No law against that.


Unless it is your kids that have cold ears.

 
47 is the new 42 2008-03-16 01:21:28 PM  
Last time I checked, there were hats specifically designed to go on your head and be large enough to cover your ears, and by wearing these hats that cover your ears, you keep your ears warm.

 
vaconex 2008-03-16 01:22:19 PM  
I proudly make calls, eat, change clothes, play with my phone and text while driving.

Law or not, if I'm in my lane it's my business.

 
Frosted Flake 2008-03-16 01:23:10 PM  
kidsizedcoffin: Unless it is your kids that have cold ears.

My kids can use their own cigarette lighters. Time for them to grow up. After all they're almost 10.

 
ga362 2008-03-16 01:24:58 PM  
slooooooooow news day. Let’s talk about obama and his spiritual mentor . . .mkay.

 
moops 2008-03-16 01:29:17 PM  
vaconex: I proudly make calls, eat, change clothes, play with my phone and text while driving.

I read Hustler, watch gangbang flicks in my car DVD player, and fap furiously, all while driving.

 
moops 2008-03-16 01:31:48 PM  
I just noticed this:

The court accepted his claim after he produced an itemised telephone bill proving he had not been using the phone at the time he was stopped. - Ananova.com

Which means it's untrue, and it shouldn't be on Fark in the first place.

 
turkey_baster 2008-03-16 01:34:21 PM  
If he produced records proving he wasn't using the phone at the time, why is everyone here going loco over it? He wasn't doing anything wrong, so good on him!

 
duck_man 2008-03-16 01:35:01 PM  
Given all of the other attention-stealing gadgets and distractions present in the average vehicle these days, cell-phones aren't the greatest of my concerns.

navigation
a/c and heater controls
Radio, CD, DVD player
hot chick on sidewalk
kids in back seat
etc.

BAN EVERYTHING! EVERYTHING! PROTECT US FROM OURSELVES!

 
ga362 2008-03-16 01:36:26 PM  
Once saw some dipshiat HS kid with a sleveless shirt, no helmet, shorts, clown shoes on a crotch rocket dialing his cell (with left hand), approaching a stoplight. About fell over because he was unable to grab the clutch.
Darwin was smiling, but no cigar. Damn!

 
lajimi [TotalFark] 2008-03-16 01:43:12 PM  
I wonder who this guy is related to.

 
kidsizedcoffin 2008-03-16 01:44:28 PM  
moops: vaconex: I proudly make calls, eat, change clothes, play with my phone and text while driving.

I read Hustler, watch gangbang flicks in my car DVD player, and fap furiously, all while driving.


I suppose you also sit on the gear shifter? I mean what if you needed to change gears and you didn't have a free hand?


ga362: Once saw some dipshiat HS kid with a sleveless shirt, no helmet, shorts, clown shoes on a crotch rocket dialing his cell (with left hand), approaching a stoplight. About fell over because he was unable to grab the clutch.
Darwin was smiling, but no cigar. Damn!


Let him do that, I may need his liver someday.

/With or without fava beans.

 
moops 2008-03-16 01:48:30 PM  
kidsizedcoffin: I suppose you also sit on the gear shifter? I mean what if you needed to change gears and you didn't have a free hand?

I don't sit on the gear shifter since I also use a butt plug while driving. I forgot to mention that.

 
Gibblestick 2008-03-16 01:50:11 PM  
If only someone could invent some form of in vehicle heating system, all this torture could have been avoided

 
kidsizedcoffin 2008-03-16 01:50:47 PM  
moops: kidsizedcoffin: I suppose you also sit on the gear shifter? I mean what if you needed to change gears and you didn't have a free hand?

I don't sit on the gear shifter since I also use a butt plug while driving. I forgot to mention that.


What a novel idea, I may need to try that next time I go out for some taco bell.

 
Yoleus [recently expired TotalFark] 2008-03-16 01:57:06 PM  
vaconex I proudly make calls, eat, change clothes, play with my phone and text while driving.

Law or not, if I'm in my lane it's my business.


Tardbacon

 
buzzvert [TotalFark] 2008-03-16 02:00:45 PM  
Most people consider themselves excellent drivers while cell phoning. This majority of people is also, in their minds, excellent drivers after a 12 pack and/or a gallon of Carlo Rossi.

 
Phil Herup 2008-03-16 02:01:21 PM  
moops: butt plug

www.movieprop.com

 
rsparks4t 2008-03-16 02:03:24 PM  
Okay, so we're driving North on an interstate with a speed limit of 75. Dually pulling a long horse trailer in the left lane going about 70 and not moving over so we start passing in the right lane. As we approach an on ramp the dually speeds up and we have no where to go as a vehicle is heading up the ramp onto the highway and going - maybe - 50!!! We slam on the brakes because the driver does not slow down, does not look in the side mirror - I was looking at it - or turn to look back, talking on a cell phone with her other hand flailing all over and occasionally grabbing the steering wheel to adjust her direction!!!
Naturally I laid on the horn so she will look up, pull to the left since it was clear, now that I was going 45, to avoid hitting her and she has the audacity to flip us off!!! Did not return the salute. Was very nice - for me.

/Where did I leave that .45?

 
Arnold T Pants 2008-03-16 02:03:46 PM  
Proof that the no phone laws are ridiculous. They have decided it isn't the talking on the phone that is the problem, which is why you can use hands free handsets. They problem to them is actually holding a phone to your head (and only a phone), but you can still do that if you aren't talking on it. WTF? Legislators are farking stupid.

 
tukatz [TotalFark] 2008-03-16 02:09:48 PM  
vaconex: I proudly make calls, eat, change clothes, play with my phone and text while driving.
Law or not, if I'm in my lane it's my business.


How do you know you're still in your lane? You're not paying enough attention to driving to even know.

Soooo sick of hearing about how these multitaskers are so skilled that they can do anything and still be awesome drivers. These are the same people hitting the edge of the gravel and running red lights because they forget they're driving. Most can't even manage to use the directional because they don't have a hand free, so it's suddenly become an optional use item. Just drive. I don't want to be killed by some 17-year-old that had to call his g/f to say he'd be there in 5 minutes. Tell her when you get there (women love surprises).

 
Phil Herup 2008-03-16 02:12:09 PM  
Arnold T Pants: Legislators are farking stupid.


Really?

commentisfree.guardian.co.ukwww.nypress.com

That is all that is left to get elected. Not an executive in the bunch.

 
Zarkin Frood [TotalFark] 2008-03-16 02:14:10 PM  
Phil Herup: Arnold T Pants: Legislators are farking stupid.
Really?
That is all that is left to get elected. Not an executive in the bunch.


Threadjack much, troll?

 
sox406 2008-03-16 02:25:37 PM  
I used a similar excuse after being caught receiving a "favor" from my girlfriend in the Wal-Mart parking lot on a cold night. To my surprise, it didn't turn out the same way.

 
Lamune_Baba 2008-03-16 02:32:17 PM  
rsparks4t: Okay, so we're driving North on an interstate with a speed limit of 75. Dually pulling a long horse trailer in the left lane going about 70 and not moving over so we start passing in the right lane. As we approach an on ramp the dually speeds up and we have no where to go as a vehicle is heading up the ramp onto the highway and going - maybe - 50!!! We slam on the brakes because the driver does not slow down, does not look in the side mirror - I was looking at it - or turn to look back, talking on a cell phone with her other hand flailing all over and occasionally grabbing the steering wheel to adjust her direction!!!
Naturally I laid on the horn so she will look up, pull to the left since it was clear, now that I was going 45, to avoid hitting her and she has the audacity to flip us off!!! Did not return the salute. Was very nice - for me.



So... in summary: He's traveling in the left lane, you're passing on the right, and she failed to yield. Sounds like you all need to learn to drive.

Penalty offset. Repeat 3nd down.

 
The_Bouncer 2008-03-16 02:34:35 PM  
vaconex: I proudly make calls, eat, change clothes, play with my phone and text while driving.

Law or not, if I'm in my lane it's my business.


One time I was crossing the street (legally) to get home at the one of the most dangerous 4 four ways ever conceived. As I cross the street I payed close attention to all the drivers that were making turns in my direction. As I'm walking a number of of cars make their turns before I get mid way across the cross walk. Now as the pedestrian I have the right of way, regardless of that a man in a green sedan nearly runs me down. What saved my ass? Me paying attention to the drivers around me.

The worst part about it was that this man was busying chatting away on his cell phone at the time. I know this because he missed running my toes over by mere inches so I was able to notice him with his cell phone glued to his ear. He didn't even see me as he passed.

I don't think it's much to ask that drivers give their full attention while on the road.

 
Phil Herup 2008-03-16 02:34:57 PM  
Zarkin Frood: Phil Herup: Arnold T Pants: Legislators are farking stupid.
Really?
That is all that is left to get elected. Not an executive in the bunch.

Threadjack much, troll?




Maybe a little jack, but still relevant to the term "legislators are stupid".

I have to go now, as I'm on my Blackberry and I'm driving.

 
chrismac 2008-03-16 02:43:03 PM  
tukatz:
These are the same people hitting the edge of the gravel and running red lights because they forget they're driving. Most can't even manage to use the directional because they don't have a hand free, so it's suddenly become an optional use item.

I'm sorry, would you like to provide some evidence for this? I've never done any of these things. Maybe you should practice driving more instead of assuming that everybody is as clumsy as yourself.

-c

 
Wulfhardt 2008-03-16 02:45:27 PM  
Shenanigans.

All truckers know that if the engine is too cold to heat the cab, it's too cold to pull a load. You can damage a commercial truck engine by pulling a load while the engine is cold. What's more, if he was pulled over on the highway while driving and claimed the engine was still cold, he's full of shiat.

Being from Germany and driving around Europe as he does, I would expect the driver to also have all the cold weather gear he would need, including a hat or earmuffs.

This story is retarded, and the defense made up for the story is an insult to anybody's intelligence.

 
TastyEloi 2008-03-16 02:51:09 PM  
On the topic of bad driving, I sometimes wonder, as a sort of thought experiment, what would be the effect on the human race if every person guilty of speeding/DUI/reckless driving, and the like, were forcibly sterilized, at least after a second conviction? A sort of selective breeding program that would eliminate from our gene pool everyone who simply lacks self-control and the ability to exercise restraint in the light of dire consequences.

Sure, this would prevent a lot of people from breeding--and a lot of teens especially--but there are still a lot of people who are able to understand the consequences of their actions and modify their behavior accordingly. There are many people who, if they knew the consequence of irresponsible driving meant never being able to have children, would make a point of always driving responsibly. Other people simply wouldn't be able to control themselves.

I wonder what the long-term effect of this would be--a better humanity of people who are more controlled and rational, or would there be some downside? Does the very lack of impulse control that allows so many people to drive recklessly also have some positive features that benefit humanity as a whole?

 
kiwichan 2008-03-16 02:53:44 PM  
chrismac

I've never done been paying enough attention to notice I was doing any of these things.

FTFY

 
Zarkin Frood [TotalFark] 2008-03-16 02:56:04 PM  
Phil Herup: Zarkin Frood: Phil Herup: Arnold T Pants: Legislators are farking stupid.
Really?
That is all that is left to get elected. Not an executive in the bunch.
Threadjack much, troll?
Maybe a little jack, but still relevant to the term "legislators are stupid".
I have to go now, as I'm on my Blackberry and I'm driving.


You missed one:
www.dormgear.net

Then it's the Holy Trinity of Distraction

 
moothemagiccow 2008-03-16 03:14:51 PM  
vaconex: I proudly make calls, eat, change clothes, play with my phone and text while driving.

Law or not, if I'm in my lane it's my business.


Pride doesn't prevent you from being a farking retard.

 
fanbladesaresharp 2008-03-16 03:15:07 PM  
Av8rLuvr: Wonder where he was 'warming it up' prior to applying it to his ear, hmmmm?

Possibly. But did he have it set to "vibrate"?

 
moothemagiccow 2008-03-16 03:17:14 PM  
sox406: I used a similar excuse after being caught receiving a "favor" from my girlfriend in the Wal-Mart parking lot on a cold night. To my surprise, it didn't turn out the same way.

CLASSY Thanks for letting us know about this

 
fanbladesaresharp 2008-03-16 03:22:29 PM  
vaconex: I proudly make calls, eat, change clothes, play with my phone and text while driving.



That has to be the troll post of the day. If not, note to vaconex: it's not your lane. It's mine and every other Farkers whose taxes paid to build and maintain it. Visualize using your turn signals.

 
Juniper Jupiter [TotalFark] 2008-03-16 03:51:01 PM  
So by this schmuck's logic, I could easily take my aluminum T-Ball bat to the guilty party involved the next time I see somebody cause a drunk driving incident, or a cell-phone induced car incident, and when the judge or prosecutor asks me why I did what I did, I can easily say something to the effect of "Well, my bat was really, really dirty and it needed a good cleaning and I figured a good combination of brain fluid, blood, and pulverized skull fragments makes a great cleaning compound for aluminum, sir."

I can easily get away with it!

 
sox406 2008-03-16 04:06:23 PM  
moothemagiccow

CLASSY Thanks for letting us know about this

I do what I can. She was a great gal. She went on to become a coked-up stripper and committed suicide last Oct. She will be missed.

 
2and4 2008-03-16 04:22:43 PM  
If the phone would have rang while he had it to his ear, it would have been the last time he did that.

 
simpsonfan 2008-03-16 06:45:29 PM  
They should have shoved it into his ear.

 
TheHateMonger 2008-03-16 06:54:57 PM  
Protip: Meta-analysis by The Canadian Automobile Association and The University of Illinois found that response time while using both hands-free and hand-held phones was approximately 0.5 standard deviations higher than normal driving.

That means that over 1/3 of drivers are, while talking on a cell phone, still better than average no-cell-phone drivers. So it's entirely possible that those in this thread who claim to be able to drive and talk are correct.

 
airzonk 2008-03-16 10:34:23 PM  
He shouldn't be driving while on the cell phone. It's supposed to be next to his ear.

 
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