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(Guardian.com) Scary New plan would allow UK teachers to enter kids DNA into national database if they display "at risk" early criminal behavior, such as: antisocialism, radicalism, violence and eating glue   (guardian.co.uk) divider line 167
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Kublai Khan [TotalFark] 2008-03-16 12:28:00 AM  
To be fair, it's not really a "plan" at the moment, more "some guys said it would be a good idea".

Which it's not.

 
milk_plus 2008-03-16 12:32:43 AM  
I've had my DNA in a lot of places but never in a database. Kinky

 
karendotcom 2008-03-16 12:32:52 AM  
Hey, any country that spends over half their police budget in 1 month looking for a little girl, AND FINDS HER, is OK by me.

 
thamike 2008-03-16 12:37:16 AM  
img.photobucket.com

HA HA! My dystopia is cooler than yours is!

 
Rain-Monkey [TotalFark] 2008-03-16 12:48:41 AM  
This can only end well

 
xtex 2008-03-16 12:56:07 AM  
Antisocialism?

I would have been in that database by my second day of the first grade.

 
Kublai Khan [TotalFark] 2008-03-16 01:32:18 AM  
xtex: Antisocialism?

I would have been in that database by my second day of the first grade.


What about English Socialism?

We can call it IngSoc for short.

 
nobozo 2008-03-16 01:48:36 AM  
www.brown.edu

We have arrived at our final destination.

 
HalifaxDonair 2008-03-16 02:23:17 AM  
time for a UK tag?

 
nanofreak 2008-03-16 03:36:12 AM  
wiw.org

 
Beemer 2008-03-16 05:47:09 AM  
HalifaxDonair: time for a UK tag?

Time for an IngSoc tag.

 
starsrift 2008-03-16 05:48:40 AM  
Seems like there's a headline about a teacher taking a DNA sample every day, I don't see why this is especially new.

What, you think they don't gossip about it in the teacher's lounge?

 
Burchill 2008-03-16 05:50:46 AM  
They can take my dna from my cold, dead penis.

 
gorbishof 2008-03-16 05:56:26 AM  
starsrift: a headline about a teacher taking a DNA sample every day

Happens here in the states all the time..

 
Occam's Chainsaw [TotalFark] 2008-03-16 05:56:44 AM  
Burchill: They can take my dna from my cold, dead penis.

So any time is good for you?

/I lol'd... hard.

 
Iron Chef Scottish 2008-03-16 05:59:44 AM  
Burchill Whereas I will permit them to assign a hot nurse to gently tease mine from my warm, erect unit. Dystopian Orwellian ramifications be damned.

Oh, and Kublai Khan is quite right you know. This is a bit like the story earlier in the week about the surgeon wanting to fine people 100 quid for being drunk in the street. 1 asshat's opinion reported + submitter wanting to get a greenlight = plan about to come law.

 
Schlemiel 2008-03-16 06:00:52 AM  
Can we talk about the slippery slope now?

 
Burchill 2008-03-16 06:02:41 AM  
Britain is doing well for slightly deranged advisers right now. I have some insane ideas, they should employ me.

 
TwistedFark 2008-03-16 06:03:02 AM  
The only problem with this kind of program is who gets to decide who goes in the database?

On the surface, I wouldn't have any issue with this - after all, it's hardly an invasion of privacy since they would theoretically only ever use your DNA to either link, or exonerate you from a crime. It's not like they are going to be running tests (we hope) to determine physical characteristics about you for their health services.

However, the problem I suppose is that frankly I do not trust the judgment of individuals, especially school teachers and administrators and their ability to make rational and sound decisions on who should be entered in to this database and who should not.

I don't know why, but it doesn't frighten me at all to think that the government would have my DNA on profile so long as the only reason it is used is to identify me. In fact, I reckon it would make me feel much more secure since as a person who doesn't go out committing murders or rapes, I reckon my DNA would exonerate me from any accusations in that regard.

Now, if they want to get all Gattica on my ass with it, then I think I have huge problems with it. I don't think it should be handed out to private companies or individuals, nor do I think that it should be used for anything other than the purpose of identification - but as far as identification goes, why is having your DNA profile in a database any worse than say, your picture from your drivers license? Just because it's all "science-y"?

/ooooooh.... it's science! Get a pitchfork and some torches!

 
gibbon1 2008-03-16 06:05:17 AM  
What passes for at risk behavior today was considered to be the hallmark of an innocent and carefree childhood when I was a kid.

 
doctor wu 2008-03-16 06:06:31 AM  
...society needed an open, mature discussion on how best to tackle crime before it took place...

Sounds reasonable enough, in a general sense, but DNA samples from children based on "...behaviour indicating they may become criminals in later life" is a huge freakin' leap. How about starting with more comprehensive child care and more after-school programs?

 
Iron Chef Scottish 2008-03-16 06:06:38 AM  
Schlemiel Be sure to add a few Orwell references, bonus points if you add a screenshot from V for Vendetta. You could go the slightly more obscure route and chuck in something about Brave New World (even if you haven't read it then nobody else has either, so you're unlikely to get called on it). You could maybe mention CCTV, gun ownership and how the British aren't citizens they are subjects for a triumphant flourish. Zzzz.

 
flsammyfm 2008-03-16 06:07:51 AM  
You know who else wanted to identify antisocialism in youths.....

 
Kwisatzhaderach 2008-03-16 06:09:39 AM  
Beemer: HalifaxDonair: time for a UK tag?

Time for an IngSoc tag.


Seconded

 
Burchill 2008-03-16 06:09:50 AM  
Now us Brits may have given up many of our rights, but we'll riot in the streets for our right to riot in the streets, drink lots, fight and make frankly ludicrous music.

 
JerkyMeat 2008-03-16 06:10:08 AM  
It works both way, pigs.

Teachers, neighbors, employers and peers must profile children or young people who show behaviors that typically lead to becoming a cop and neuter them before they become a menace to liberty.

 
La Fee Verte 2008-03-16 06:11:32 AM  
Why don't we have them incarcerated, before they commit the crime?

www.pikesoft.com

 
Bathia_Mapes [TotalFark] 2008-03-16 06:12:03 AM  
We have always been at war with Eastasia.

 
sunami 2008-03-16 06:15:24 AM  
TwistedFark: However, the problem I suppose is that frankly I do not trust the judgment of individuals, especially school teachers and administrators and their ability to make rational and sound decisions on who should be entered in to this database and who should not.

Now, if they want to get all Gattica on my ass with it, then I think I have huge problems with it. I don't think it should be handed out to private companies or individuals, nor do I think that it should be used for anything other than the purpose of identification - but as far as identification goes, why is having your DNA profile in a database any worse than say, your picture from your drivers license? Just because it's all "science-y"?


This is what would happen. Maybe to only one person, and maybe not until 50 years from now, but it will happen, which is why this kind of information cannot be readily accessible to anyone in any government.

 
wombat18 2008-03-16 06:18:42 AM  
Iron Chef Scottish: Schlemiel Be sure to add a few Orwell references, bonus points if you add a screenshot from V for Vendetta. You could go the slightly more obscure route and chuck in something about Brave New World (even if you haven't read it then nobody else has either, so you're unlikely to get called on it). You could maybe mention CCTV, gun ownership and how the British aren't citizens they are subjects for a triumphant flourish. Zzzz.

Pretty good, but you forgot socialised medicine, ugly women and bad teeth.

/anyone for a game of Brit thread bingo?

 
Burchill 2008-03-16 06:20:02 AM  
How about all British people, particularly the English ones being massively racist?

 
Burchill 2008-03-16 06:22:41 AM  
Plus you forgot nanny state.

 
Iron Chef Scottish 2008-03-16 06:23:56 AM  
Burchill And parochial, you geordie twat.

 
Burchill 2008-03-16 06:25:21 AM  
hehe. Oh God yes, and obsessed with football in a sometimes too physical way.

 
thisispete [TotalFark] 2008-03-16 06:28:19 AM  
"Alpha children wear grey. They work much harder than we do, because they're so frightfully clever. I'm awfully glad I'm a Beta, because I don't work so hard. And then we are much better than the Gammas and Deltas. Gammas are stupid. They all wear green, and Delta children wear khaki. Oh no, I don't want to play with Delta children. And Epsilons are still worse. They're too stupid to be able to read or write. Besides they wear black, which is such a beastly color. I'm so glad I'm a Beta."

 
Burchill 2008-03-16 06:29:07 AM  
Stewart Lee on identity

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ybQCNb4AuW4

 
Schlemiel 2008-03-16 06:31:52 AM  
Iron Chef Scottish: Be sure to add a few Orwell references, bonus points if you add a screenshot from V for Vendetta. You could go the slightly more obscure route and chuck in something about Brave New World (even if you haven't read it then nobody else has either, so you're unlikely to get called on it). You could maybe mention CCTV, gun ownership and how the British aren't citizens they are subjects for a triumphant flourish. Zzzz.

They are subjects. Trouble is, so are we here in Iceland. Love your prejudices, though.

/not murrican

 
Relatively Obscure [TotalFark] 2008-03-16 06:33:29 AM  
I don't get it. What have governments ever done to make people suspicious of handing over information and power to them?

... Oh. Oh, dear. I see.

 
Scifientologist 2008-03-16 06:34:32 AM  
It's closer than you think.

 
Impudent Domain 2008-03-16 06:36:09 AM  
WOW, just WOW!
it is amazing that nearly every week we see more evidence that Britain is becoming an Orwellian dystopia.

Is no one awake in that country!

 
Iron Chef Scottish 2008-03-16 06:36:37 AM  
Schlemiel Nope, we're citizens. Another piece of received Fark wisdom is wrong? Surely not.

 
Burchill 2008-03-16 06:41:15 AM  
Impudent Domain: WOW, just WOW!
it is amazing that nearly every week we see more evidence that Britain is becoming an Orwellian dystopia.

Is no one awake in that country!


It's OK, most of us pay no attention to our laws.

 
Impudent Domain 2008-03-16 06:43:32 AM  
doctor wu: How about starting with more comprehensive child care and more after-school programs?

not really. Look those type of programs only give more power of the state over your children. In no modern society have I seen that those type of programs actually do anything positive to reduce the amount of crime among juveniles. No evidence at all.

A much better program is to use incentives to physically remove the chronically poor from their environment and disperse them, thus giving them better access to opportunity, and taking them away from areas of gang culture and violence.

 
Mayhem_2006 2008-03-16 06:46:14 AM  
i wouldn't worry - even in the small chance that this did come to pass, teachers won't have time to do any dna registering given all the rest of the stuff they are expected to do during a week.

sorry for lack of capitals, spilled coffee on keyboard...

 
Burchill 2008-03-16 06:52:57 AM  
registration, knife fights, farking a pupil, it's all go in schools.

 
Suicidal Writer 2008-03-16 06:56:00 AM  

 
BurnumBurnum 2008-03-16 06:57:37 AM  
I'm a upload.wikimedia.org

 
Xaneidolon [TotalFark] 2008-03-16 06:58:40 AM  
Iron Chef Scottish: 1 asshat's opinion reported + submitter wanting to get a greenlight = plan about to come law.

Apparently I'm the only one disturbed by this (FtFA):

Last week it emerged that the number of 10 to 18-year-olds placed on the DNA database after being arrested will have reached around 1.5 million this time next year. Since 2004 police have had the power to take DNA samples from anyone over the age of 10 who is arrested, regardless of whether they are later charged, convicted, or found to be innocent.

And it's not just about the kids in the database. 1.5 million kids. How many others who were not charged or exonerated?

I love the U.S. I've always wondered what would be enough to make me go elsewhere. This, I suppose.

 
Xaneidolon [TotalFark] 2008-03-16 07:00:01 AM  
Xaneidolon: How many others adults who were not charged or exonerated?

FiFM

 
Hobodeluxe [TotalFark] 2008-03-16 07:00:16 AM  
How long until they start putting rf chips inside our bodies they can use to track us with?

 
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