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(Guardian.com) Amusing A Sicilian tour guide makes FAQ booklet. Covers questions like: Are all Sicilians in the Mafia? What's Michael Corleone's favorite type of spaghetti? Do all Sicilians talk so loud? And witty responses to WANAFIGHTABOUTIT?   (guardian.co.uk) divider line 52
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strangeguitar 2008-03-15 11:51:28 PM  
i227.photobucket.com
Can tell you all you need to know about Sicilians.

 
CraicBaby [TotalFark] 2008-03-16 12:09:47 AM  
Does it also tell you about one of the classic blunders, never go in against a Sicilian when death is on the line?

 
shanrick [TotalFark] 2008-03-16 12:18:01 AM  
You're part eggplant.

 
karendotcom 2008-03-16 12:30:02 AM  
Jeez, and I thought my family was bad...

 
dgc360 [TotalFark] 2008-03-16 12:36:53 AM  
CraicBaby: Does it also tell you about one of the classic blunders, never go in against a Sicilian when death is on the line?

nice, first thing I thought of as well!

img253.imageshack.us

Cheers!

 
PfizerX 2008-03-16 12:55:38 AM  
WANAFIGHTABOUTIT?! Is Irish.

FUHGEDDABOUTIT!? Is Italian.

img407.imageshack.us

 
Lucian 2008-03-16 01:10:47 AM  
Sicily was one of the most beautiful and friendly places I've ever visited.

 
DrForrester 2008-03-16 01:24:20 AM  
He's dead.

 
and the floor show never ends 2008-03-16 01:25:11 AM  
With the dollar in freefall, this will cease to be a problem in sicily.

 
HeWhoHasNoName 2008-03-16 01:33:09 AM  
You know why Sicilians hate Jehovah's Witnesses?



Sicilians hate any witnesses.

 
blazemongr 2008-03-16 01:41:18 AM  
img160.imageshack.us

Unavailable for comment

 
Frosted Flake 2008-03-16 01:45:08 AM  
I don't care for Jehovah's witness. They're always telling Jehovah that I've been drinking again and wanking like an epileptic bonobo.

 
reddsharkk 2008-03-16 01:51:32 AM  
Frosted Flake: I don't care for Jehovah's witness. They're always telling Jehovah that I've been drinking again and wanking like an epileptic bonobo.

Burn their literature in front of them. I havent had them at my house in years

 
Krymore 2008-03-16 01:52:48 AM  
Frosted Flake: I don't care for Jehovah's witness. They're always telling Jehovah that I've been drinking again and wanking like an epileptic bonobo.

www.tubearoo.com

Did someone say Jehovah?

 
texasjoe 2008-03-16 01:54:40 AM  
Sigonella sucks, Catania rocks, Lentini is nice and Augusta smells. Siracusa is an interesting place to go for a weekend. Taormina has a rocky beach and the water never warms up.

I was in Enna when Sinatra toured in '86.

Seafood, blood oranges and unique (as in excellent) wine. If you choose the right landlord you will not have to worry about your stuff being messed with. That includes your car parked in the street with a carton of Marlboros in the backseat.

Just like anywhere, treat the locals with respect. What is hard about that?

My Philippine wife still misses the Saturday fish market behind St. Agatha's cathedral in Catania.

 
sunsawed 2008-03-16 02:18:51 AM  
1. Padani

2. Italiani.

3. Siciliani.

4. Cani.

 
nobozo 2008-03-16 02:39:24 AM  
Just one question ...
tbn0.google.com

Can I have her ph. #?

/ pretty please ???

 
aerojockey [TotalFark] 2008-03-16 02:56:31 AM  
Tomorrow's headline: "Man who wrote book about Mafia in Sicily found dead."

 
thermo 2008-03-16 03:46:25 AM  
spawned by the Moors..... They came down and farked so many Sicilian women that it forever changed the bloodline. Blond hair and blue eyes became brown eyes, dark skin, and kinky hair.

 
stevetwentyfour 2008-03-16 04:03:30 AM  
Ugh! I took a tour of Sicily last Summer, and the other dipshaits on my tour would not stop asking about the damn mafia. That island is one of the most beautiful places in the world, with so many more interesting things to see. I don't care about their criminal underworld; I came to drink their wine, swim on their beaches, and ride rental scooters, while checking out their incredibly hot women. Sicily rocks! I'm going there again soon.

img527.imageshack.us

 
Closed_Minded_Bastage 2008-03-16 05:25:33 AM  
If I ever win the Powerball Lottery I'm moving back there, permanently.

/Comiso AS, 2189th Comm Sq '83/'84

 
moof 2008-03-16 06:05:53 AM  
Closed_Minded_Bastage: If I ever win the Powerball Lottery I'm moving back there, permanently.

/Comiso AS, 2189th Comm Sq '83/'84


Also, if ever covered with 5 buckets of chum, will go swimming with sharks. It's so scenic.

 
Jamieboy 2008-03-16 06:12:37 AM  
reddsharkk: Frosted Flake: I don't care for Jehovah's witness. They're always telling Jehovah that I've been drinking again and wanking like an epileptic bonobo.

Burn their literature in front of them. I havent had them at my house in years


I say "thank God your here! I'm out of toilet paper". For LDS missionaries, I pretend they are sex workers I ordered. Never had JW's or LDS' ring my bell since.

 
Closed_Minded_Bastage 2008-03-16 06:41:55 AM  
moof: Also, if ever covered with 5 buckets of chum, will go swimming with sharks. It's so scenic.

I've lived in many places on this planet, some nicer than others. Sicily/Italy wasn't half as bad as Portugal or Germany or Spain and twice better than Vietnam and Japan.

Hey, you live where you want to and leave me the fark alone.

 
Ghastly [TotalFark] 2008-03-16 06:47:08 AM  
And witty responses to WANAFIGHTABOUTIT?

Shaddappayooface!

 
am_forgiven 2008-03-16 07:08:43 AM  
There is no Cosa Nostra.

And on a lighter note - there still is no Cosa Nostra.

/now we're all safe :)

 
ilambiquated 2008-03-16 07:23:56 AM  
stevetwentyfour: Ugh! I took a tour of Sicily last Summer, and the other dipshaits on my tour would not stop asking about the damn mafia. That island is one of the most beautiful places in the world, with so many more interesting things to see. I don't care about their criminal underworld; I came to drink their wine, swim on their beaches, and ride rental scooters, while checking out their incredibly hot women. Sicily rocks! I'm going there again soon.

This. Beat me to it.

Sicily is incredible.

 
RAD Aggie 2008-03-16 07:56:26 AM  
nobozo: Just one question ...


Can I have her ph. #?

/ pretty please ???


Sorry I can't get past her over-enunciation of any word remotely Italian. It wouldn't be so bad if she didn't say every other word in unaccented English. It's like watching Dora the Explorer in Italian.

 
parkerlewis 2008-03-16 08:13:26 AM  
WHATSAMATTAYOU!!!!

AH SHADDUPAYOUFACE!!

 
Davide 2008-03-16 08:44:06 AM  
I lived in Palermo, Sicilia, for 6 years as a teenager. I NEVER experienced the mafia. What I did experience were unfriendly people, rundown and filthy neighborhoods, ethnically homogeneous, 3rd world stench.

I returned 30 years later, as an American tourist. I could not believe what I found. The place is totally transformed: beautiful, clean, nice people, European and ethnically diverse.

My high-school buddy told me: it's my generation that did it: we cleaned-up the place.


tbn0.google.com

 
pipco 2008-03-16 09:22:38 AM  
RAD Aggie: nobozo:
Sorry I can't get past her over-enunciation of any word remotely Italian.


Yeah, that makes Me wanna vomit when people do that.

 
Melvin Coznowski 2008-03-16 10:14:36 AM  
img527.imageshack.us

/yes, it was corsica and not sicily. still what I thought of first.

 
Catracks 2008-03-16 11:00:48 AM  
My family came from a little villiage called Palazzo Adriano. It was the setting for a movie called Cinema Paradiso. It is inland not far from Corleone. The ocean scenes are filmed in Palermo.

I'd give a lot to go there and see it all. I wouldn't ask stupid questions either.

 
chumbucket 2008-03-16 11:14:00 AM  
Catracks: My family came from a little villiage called Palazzo Adriano. It was the setting for a movie called Cinema Paradiso. It is inland not far from Corleone. The ocean scenes are filmed in Palermo.

I'd give a lot to go there and see it all. I wouldn't ask stupid questions either.


I seem to remember liking that movie.

/adds it to his netflix que for a rewatch

 
Babbs 2008-03-16 11:21:06 AM  
My husband's sicilian, so I'm getting a kick....

Seriously, though. I plan on going there for our 20th anniversery next year.

 
Marla Singer's Laundry [TotalFark] 2008-03-16 11:31:23 AM  
Babbs: My husband's sicilian, so I'm getting a kick....

Seriously, though. I plan on going there for our 20th anniversery next year.


Nice.

Part Sicilian here

 
allthesametome 2008-03-16 11:42:41 AM  
reddsharkk: Frosted Flake: I don't care for Jehovah's witness. They're always telling Jehovah that I've been drinking again and wanking like an epileptic bonobo.

Burn their literature in front of them. I havent had them at my house in years


A few months ago Jehovah's Witnesses showed up early on a Sunday morning at the bf's house. He answered the door in his boxers and was greeted with, "Do you know the one thing God can't do for you?" To which he responded, "Yeah, make me pancakes on Sunday morning." They just stared at him til he closed the door.

/i like to stare at him when he's in his boxers too
//mmmmmm pancakes
///mmmmmmmmm pancakes
////mmmm slashies

 
Babbs 2008-03-16 11:45:40 AM  
Marla Singer's Laundry: Babbs: My husband's sicilian, so I'm getting a kick....

Seriously, though. I plan on going there for our 20th anniversery next year.

Nice.

Part Sicilian here


Heh. Should have known. You don't put up with people's shiat and niether does he. Love those fiery Italians! :)

 
eff ewe 2008-03-16 12:07:19 PM  
RAD Aggie: nobozo: Just one question ...


Can I have her ph. #?

/ pretty please ???

Sorry I can't get past her over-enunciation of any word remotely Italian. It wouldn't be so bad if she didn't say every other word in unaccented English. It's like watching Dora the Explorer in Italian.


The trick is keeping her mouth shut/full...

erincooks.com

 
RicosRoughnecks 2008-03-16 12:12:02 PM  
thermo: spawned by the Moors..... They came down and farked so many Sicilian women that it forever changed the bloodline. Blond hair and blue eyes became brown eyes, dark skin, and kinky hair.

Well the Normans also conquered Sicily which would bring in blond hair and blue eyes. Well I guess those are recessive genes so they wouldn't predominate.

 
Regas 2008-03-16 12:24:34 PM  
www.chessmaniac.com

/geek

 
ZzeusS 2008-03-16 12:36:35 PM  
Marla Singer's Laundry: Babbs: My husband's sicilian, so I'm getting a kick....

Seriously, though. I plan on going there for our 20th anniversery next year.

Nice.

Part Sicilian here


Which part?

 
lazymojo 2008-03-16 12:43:09 PM  
RicosRoughnecks: thermo: spawned by the Moors..... They came down and farked so many Sicilian women that it forever changed the bloodline. Blond hair and blue eyes became brown eyes, dark skin, and kinky hair.

Well the Normans also conquered Sicily which would bring in blond hair and blue eyes. Well I guess those are recessive genes so they wouldn't predominate.



Yeah, the Normans took it back from the Moors. I don't think the Moors had it for much more than a century. Actually let's see: a quick flip through the Penguin Historical Atlas shows the Moorish conquest of Sicily started c. 830 AD, was completed shortly after. The Norman reconquest started in 1071, and didn't take long. So about 250 years of Moorish rule.

I'm half Sicilian on my father's side, and several members of that family had blue or green eyes. I guess I have some Norman blood in me. But Sicily has been conquered and settled by so many different peoples that I'm sure genetically I'm all over the place. Settled by the Sicels, conquered by Greeks, Carthaginians, Romans, Vandals, Byzantines, Moors, Normans, Spanish... plus with the location in the central Mediterranean. It was probably the place to be in the Classical-Late Medieval times.

Brown eyes and dark curly hair aren't really traits that can be considered Moorish; most Mediterranean peoples have them.

The only bad thing I can say about Sicily (based on my family experience) is the superstition: you'd expect so much more from such genetically diverse people, yet if my own relatives are anything to go on, Sicilians are some of the most backward, fearful people in the world. Good thing I got away from that nonsense.

 
Welcome to the Machine [TotalFark] 2008-03-16 12:48:52 PM  
Closed_Minded_Bastage: If I ever win the Powerball Lottery I'm moving back there, permanently.

/Comiso AS, 2189th Comm Sq '83/'84


Comiso AS, '86-'87, Missile Tech
LOVED Sicily. Had a great Fuji road bike, 10 miles from the Med. Europeans coming down for the vacation season and a Msgt friend who lived in an apartment just off the coast.

Got into a car accident riding with him once. Broadside on some stupid little street by a huge Benz. It was grandpa's fault. The local cops and the SP's handled everything and when Carl went to file for the compensation, none of the Sicilian's information was accurate. From Palermo. Draw your own conclusions.

/Beautiful island. The WWII stuff is really cool.
//Still want to go back for a long visit as a civilian.

 
Phaid 2008-03-16 12:54:39 PM  
I used to live in West Haven, CT, which is pretty much the same thing as living in Sicily, really. So yeah, I'll pass.

 
castufari 2008-03-16 01:15:17 PM  
When I was a kid my dad worked at a place that was Mafia owned. Contrary to all of the bad stories they were nice guys. When my Dad returned from his gig as a POW he was given a decent job and some benefits. At the local bar where dad (and granddad) hung out they'd have a Santa come in and hand out gifts to the kids. Respect was a bit thing.

Southern Italy is just freaking beautiful.

/twice to Siciliy
//four times to Oria/Puglia

 
Babbs 2008-03-16 01:30:22 PM  
castufari:

Would you suggest Oria or Puglia for my 20th anniversery? I'm just trying to figure out where exactly we should go in Sicily that wouldn't suck.

 
Zoso6881 2008-03-16 01:35:18 PM  
La mafia non esiste...

C'e\ una bella insula.

 
nobozo 2008-03-16 01:39:31 PM  
RAD Aggie:nobozo: Just one question ...
Can I have her ph. #? / pretty please ???
Sorry I can't get past her over-enunciation of any word remotely Italian. It wouldn't be so bad if she didn't say every other word in unaccented English. It's like watching Dora the Explorer in Italian
.

Fair enough, but I actually have other plans for her mouth that will not require any specific annunciation skills.

 
Philly 2008-03-16 02:54:01 PM  
nobozo: Just one question ...


Can I have her ph. #?

/ pretty please ???


I'd guess its somewhere between 7 and 8.

 
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