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(Star-Telegram) Sick Woman sues American Airlines after man in next seat fapped while she napped, provided unwanted hair gel   (startelegram.typepad.com) divider line 361
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361 Comments   (+0 »)


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swahnhennessy 2008-03-15 03:53:56 PM  
Who the hell jacks off on a non-consenting stranger while they sleep; in an airplane, no less? I mean, Japanese subway, sure.

 
tizen 2008-03-15 04:41:13 PM  
Seems someone here forgot to post a Anon-DIT...

 
steevmit 2008-03-15 05:27:42 PM  
Shouldn't that be "heir gel" subby?

 
Fluff Girl [TotalFark] 2008-03-15 05:36:00 PM  
TFA: The woman turned toward the window in embarrassment and in an act of nervousness began to run her fingers through her hair where she noticed "a substantial amount of an extremely sticky substance in her hair," the suit states.

High five.

 
Kome [TotalFark] 2008-03-15 05:37:49 PM  
Why not just sue the man who did it and not the airlines?

 
T.M.S. [TotalFark] 2008-03-15 05:41:40 PM  
You bogart my armrest and see what happens.

 
strangeguitar 2008-03-15 05:46:09 PM  
Is he in the JV Mile High Club?

 
Unright 2008-03-15 05:51:33 PM  
Kome: Why not just sue the man who did it and not the airlines?

FTA: ...failing to "police the passengers to ensure that passengers do not hurt one another," the suit states.

The guy was arrested. But now she wants money. Not the most frivolous lawsuit, but unnecessary nonetheless.

 
vincentpriceisdead 2008-03-15 06:06:10 PM  
This is what we've come to?

/hee

 
shanrick [TotalFark] 2008-03-15 06:10:37 PM  
img120.imageshack.us

 
skitzo [TotalFark] 2008-03-15 06:11:14 PM  
She was asking for it.

 
Epsilon [TotalFark] 2008-03-15 06:18:42 PM  
Kome: Why not just sue the man who did it and not the airlines?

This is one thing that's wrong with our tort system. She should sue the man, he is the only one responsible. But the airline has a lot more money, so she hires a lawyer to somehow turn it into their fault. That sucks.

 
EvelFarknievel 2008-03-15 08:04:14 PM  
i82.photobucket.com

 
antidisestablishmentarianism 2008-03-15 08:52:30 PM  
The woman began to cry and tried to get the attention of a flight attendant, but was unsuccessful, the suit states.

Typical woman, instead of asking for help she cries and hopes someone will notice.

Finally a passenger in the row in front of the woman comforted her and verified the semen in her hair, the suit states.

Did the other passenger taste it?

When the plane landed, employee called airport police and the man was arrested.

It's been said before, sue this guy because...

The suit alleges that the during the investigation, American Airlines employees told police they witnessed the man move from his assigned seat into the row where the woman was sleeping

...So maybe the guy was unhappy with his seat assignment so he moved, no one saw him do it so I don't really see how the airline is responsible for this.

/more Something About Mary jokes

 
kilgorn 2008-03-15 09:03:46 PM  
If I got sued every time I did that...

 
JonnyBGoode 2008-03-15 09:05:16 PM  
All aboard for I've-got-something-in-my-eye-ville...

 
elffster 2008-03-15 09:05:36 PM  
faptastic!

**There's something special in the air!**

 
Oblio13 2008-03-15 09:06:54 PM  
elffster:

**There's something special in the air!**


There's something special in the HAIR.

 
Quantumbunny 2008-03-15 09:07:20 PM  
kilgorn: If I got sued every time I did that...

It appears, you wouldn't be the one getting sued.

\Why the fark is the airline in this suit. I hope the judge tosses it out of court while laughing.
\\Do not have hope I will get what I want.

 
Rambino 2008-03-15 09:08:20 PM  
But was she hot?

/dnrtfa

 
What Would Emilio Estevez Do 2008-03-15 09:08:21 PM  
It's my understanding that he could smell her coont.

/Multiple Miggs unavailable for comment

 
Oh_Enough_Already 2008-03-15 09:08:39 PM  
Either he has Bullseye's aim or Peter North's distance or he stood up to shoot.

Or she had he head in his lap in which case, who wouldn't?

Just for fun, here's a picture of Bullseye.

content.answers.com

Here's fappin at you, kid.

 
Sarcasm Incarnate 2008-03-15 09:08:45 PM  
We have no manners anymore...lets face it, this was just rude. He should have stopped when she woke up.

 
windbag 2008-03-15 09:09:13 PM  
Forget the lawyers, someone should have simply beat the crap outta the guy. He had already beat the hair gel outta himself.

 
Bucky Katt [TotalFark] 2008-03-15 09:09:15 PM  
kilgorn: If I got sued every time I did that...

you're an airline?

 
Yesdog [TotalFark] 2008-03-15 09:09:23 PM  
So she was asleep while he jerked off? She was only aware after she woke up with splooge in her hair?

Strictly speaking, how is this any more criminal than sneezing on someone and getting boogers in their hair? Gross, sure, but not worth suing the airlines.

 
doglover [TotalFark] 2008-03-15 09:10:04 PM  
I'm not a woman, but I'd happily beat the ever-loving fark out of someone who blows a load on a total stranger. Especially someone who did it to a stranger who was asleep at the time.

All it would take is an accusation at volume.

 
GBmanNC 2008-03-15 09:10:17 PM  
How the hell doesn't someone on the plane notice a person jacking off onto another persons head?

 
elffster 2008-03-15 09:10:37 PM  
Quantumbunny: I hope the judge tosses it out of court while laughing one off while using his penis pump.


/yah I wented there

 
Day_Old_Dutchie 2008-03-15 09:11:57 PM  
That isn't a hair question.

 
Lamune_Baba 2008-03-15 09:12:49 PM  
This is the airline's fault? What the hell were the other passengers doing while this guy was nutting in her hair?

Kome: Why not just sue the man who did it and not the airlines?

Because the airlines have more money.

 
rhiannon [TotalFark] 2008-03-15 09:13:18 PM  
"Finally a passenger in the row in front of the woman comforted her and verified the semen in her hair, the suit states."

I really, really don't want to know any more about this.

 
Necrosis 2008-03-15 09:13:33 PM  
Gross and I'm glad the guy was arrested, but this wasn't the airlines fault. Maybe they saw him move seats, so what? That isn't against the law, and it isn't an obvious sign of a sexual assault that they deliberately ignored.

 
Oh_Enough_Already 2008-03-15 09:13:51 PM  
doglover: I'm not a woman, but I'd happily beat the ever-loving fark out of someone who blows a load on a total stranger. Especially someone who did it to a stranger who was asleep at the time.

All it would take is an accusation at volume.


I'm glad you don't live near the Duke campus, there'd be bodies strewn everywhere.

"An accusation at volume."

Gee, read the Crucible lately?

You ought to.

She's a witch! He fapped! Burn them both!!!

 
GBmanNC 2008-03-15 09:14:06 PM  
Yesdog: So she was asleep while he jerked off? She was only aware after she woke up with splooge in her hair?

Strictly speaking, how is this any more criminal than sneezing on someone and getting boogers in their hair? Gross, sure, but not worth suing the airlines.


Sexual assault tends to be looked down upon in our society for whatever reason.

 
Mentat [TotalFark] 2008-03-15 09:15:46 PM  
rhiannon: "Finally a passenger in the row in front of the woman comforted her and verified the semen in her hair, the suit states."

I really, really don't want to know any more about this.


Good thing the other passenger wasn't a statistician. Keep fapping, we need more data points!

 
dagman 2008-03-15 09:15:49 PM  
GBmanNC: How the hell doesn't someone on the plane notice a person jacking off onto another persons head?

This made me laugh.

You have a point.

/Queen song... do do do do do...... "under pressure" do do do do do do

 
kilgorn 2008-03-15 09:16:45 PM  
GBmanNC
How the hell doesn't someone on the plane notice a person jacking off onto another persons head?

They had the fish....

 
blicero 2008-03-15 09:17:16 PM  
The in flight magazine can be quite...hot.

 
turkey_baster 2008-03-15 09:17:41 PM  
Boo hoo! By not stopping him when she woke up, she is consenting, so she can't complain about anything! Counter-suit for her being a crybaby!

/I keed, I keed!
//Terrible ordeal for her...

 
lotus [TotalFark] 2008-03-15 09:17:52 PM  
Can you really assault somebody who is asleep and doesn't notice?

Then again, on the other side...could I get money for this?! I suspect I could!

 
Treize26 2008-03-15 09:18:31 PM  
rhiannon: "Finally a passenger in the row in front of the woman comforted her and verified the semen in her hair, the suit states."

I really, really don't want to know any more about this.


I do!

 
Bonzo_1116 2008-03-15 09:19:37 PM  
Why didn't she cockpunch that asshole when she had the chance?

He even had it out for easy aim.

 
Loud_Mouth_Soup 2008-03-15 09:20:04 PM  
She'll get over it.


/he didn't quite get it over her

 
Fluff Girl [TotalFark] 2008-03-15 09:20:31 PM  
rhiannon: "Finally a passenger in the row in front of the woman comforted her and verified the semen in her hair, the suit states."

I really, really don't want to know any more about this.


Especially if the "verification" was accidental.

 
Nutcase [TotalFark] 2008-03-15 09:21:25 PM  
Useless without pics (of her)

 
danielhh 2008-03-15 09:21:49 PM  
I'd hit it.

 
doglover [TotalFark] 2008-03-15 09:21:55 PM  
Oh_Enough_Already

I'm glad you don't live near the Duke campus, there'd be bodies strewn everywhere.

"An accusation at volume."

Gee, read the Crucible lately?

You ought to.

She's a witch! He fapped! Burn them both!!!



Duke sucks

 
runslothrun 2008-03-15 09:22:13 PM  
$20 says there was alcohol involved and that she was awake or was awake until she passed out...guy blew his load in her hair and all of sudden her dignity was sullied.

this happened sometime ago but there is no mention of the arrested male. probably because he's is also being sued by her or in collusion with her. either way his testimony wouldn't mean anything in her lawsuit against the airlines.

sorry if this sounds misogynistic but all it took was reading: under age female college student, spring break, sexual encounter with regrettable results.

she's lying. she'll win but she is lying.

 
spammuncher 2008-03-15 09:22:14 PM  
Yesdog: So she was asleep while he jerked off? She was only aware after she woke up with splooge in her hair?

Strictly speaking, how is this any more criminal than sneezing on someone and getting boogers in their hair? Gross, sure, but not worth suing the airlines.


You're kidding, right? I hope she gets a ton of money. This is really disgusting and the stewardesses/stewards should have been a bit more on their toes. Hopefully the masturbator will get some time in the jail, where he will be on the receiving end of many loads.

/Dude could have pulled one off in the bathroom if he really needed the release

 
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