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(Starpulse) Hero ♪"What a marvelous night for moonda♬-- HEY, GET OFF YOUR F*$#ING CELL PHONE   (starpulse.com) divider line 39
More: Hero  
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3383 clicks; posted to Music » on 13 Mar 2008 at 3:16 PM   |  Make this a Fark FavoriteFavorite    |   share: Share on OMGTWITTER WEB2.0share on StumbleUponshare on Facebook  more»

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MissMalice 2008-03-13 01:06:00 PM  
Makes me love the old bastard just a little bit more.

 
AliceInWonderland [TotalFark] 2008-03-13 01:19:26 PM  
Van Morrison Bans Cell Phones And Booze At Gig No. Booze? At a Van Morrison concert? What?

 
TrixieDelite 2008-03-13 01:46:01 PM  
"And goddammit, if you don't stop that exasperating applause RIGHT THIS MINUTE, you will ALL get a timeout!"

 
TrixieDelite 2008-03-13 01:46:38 PM  
"I mean it! Do you want me to pull this concert over right here?"

 
TrixieDelite 2008-03-13 01:48:03 PM  
"You, in the sagging jeans! Pull your pants up or I'll stop singing. And tuck your shirt in. And wipe that smirk off your face, mister. And put away that goddamned lighter before you hurt yourself."

 
kblair4 [TotalFark] 2008-03-13 02:05:58 PM  
FTA: [Morrison said ]"We'd like to do the next album. If someone turns off that mobile phone we can start it."

"Thanks, I'll just be a few more minutes. In fact, you know what? I'll hang up when you start playing your classic stuff"

/assuming by "next" album he means his latest/upcoming one

 
UberDave [TotalFark] 2008-03-13 02:06:13 PM  
I love that there's an ad for Van Morrison ring tones at the bottom of the article.

 
FarkinHostile 2008-03-13 02:07:00 PM  
Good for him. Might be an inconvenience with no booze during the set, but you are at HIS show, so he gets to make the rules.

 
FarkinHostile 2008-03-13 02:08:40 PM  
"Thanks, I'll just be a few more minutes. In fact, you know what? I'll hang up when you start playing your classic stuff"


"Security? Please escort that person out. Thanks."


That's if you don't get beat down by the rest of the audience.

 
Cewley [TotalFark] 2008-03-13 02:15:04 PM  
he should have asked for volunteers to shove the cellphone up that guy's ass.

 
xanadian [TotalFark] 2008-03-13 02:17:55 PM  
TrixieDelite: "I mean it! Do you want me to pull this concert over right here?"

lol!!

 
TrixieDelite 2008-03-13 02:28:29 PM  
xanadian:
What beautiful eyes you have.

 
real shaman [TotalFark] 2008-03-13 02:38:56 PM  
douchebag deluxe. don't ever work one of his shows.

 
NightOwl2255 2008-03-13 02:40:31 PM  
The guy wears sunglasses on stage. That's all you need to know. Him and Bono can both DIAF.

/Brown Eyed Girl was the first song played at my wedding reception.

 
Mudo 2008-03-13 02:44:05 PM  
Meh. Lawrence Fishburne was doing a Broadway (or maybe off, not sure) show and someone's phone started ringing. Fishburne broke charector and yelled at them to "TURN THAT FSCKING PHONE OFF".

 
Dorf11 2008-03-13 03:24:59 PM  
Van Morrison's tour schedule:

Chicago
Winnipeg
Minneapolis
Winnipeg
St. Louis
Winnipeg
Los Angeles
Winnipeg
San Diego
Winnipeg
etc.

 
Boritom [TotalFark] 2008-03-13 03:32:19 PM  
If I'm paying 50 gazillion dollars to watch some washed up douchebag warble crap my dad listened to, he can damn well STFU and sing for me like a little monkey, or hand over the cash. Fack these pretentious douchenozzles!

/was in a band for 10 years
//pull that crap in a metal bar, I dare you.

 
jj325 [TotalFark] 2008-03-13 03:36:57 PM  
Boritom: If I'm paying 50 gazillion dollars to watch some washed up douchebag warble crap my dad listened to, he can damn well STFU and sing for me like a little monkey, or hand over the cash. Fack these pretentious douchenozzles!

/was in a band for 10 years
//pull that crap in a metal bar, I dare you.


You would pay 50 gazillion dollars to watch a washed up douchebag warble?

 
Former Lee Warmer 2008-03-13 03:46:48 PM  
Boritom: If I'm paying 50 gazillion dollars to watch some washed up douchebag warble crap my dad listened to, he can damn well STFU and sing for me like a little monkey, or hand over the cash. Fack these pretentious douchenozzles!

/was in a band for 10 years
//pull that crap in a metal bar, I dare you.


Find someone worth paying attention to in a metal bar, first.

 
silance 2008-03-13 03:49:42 PM  
God. I hate Van Morrison. Brown-Eyed Girl is the song all bands have requested the most. And it sucks ballz.

Sounds like someone's new hit single is "Get off my lawn"

 
BrotherTheodore 2008-03-13 05:12:47 PM  
Well, he only closed the bar for the performance. I suppose if you already had one you were set.

 
DammitCatQuitJumpingOnMe 2008-03-13 05:15:53 PM  
"Brown Eyed Girl" is about booty sex.


/behind the waterfall with you.

 
OurManFlint1 [TotalFark] 2008-03-13 07:00:12 PM  
Boy is he strict

 
LL Bean J 2008-03-13 07:04:37 PM  
I wish Richie Havens would have done the same thing. I brought a date to see Richie a few years ago and her cellphone went bananas during "Freedom." I searched furiously for a black hole to hide in but none were available.

 
Gulper Eel [TotalFark] 2008-03-13 08:03:45 PM  
At the Genesis show I was at last year, some guy in the front row was on his phone and Phil Collins grabbed the phone so he could sing a few bars of "Land of Confusion" into it. A nice touch.

TrixieDelite: "And goddammit, if you don't stop that exasperating applause RIGHT THIS MINUTE, you will ALL get a timeout!"

Joe Jackson used to do that, but he had the excuse that he was trying to record a "live" album but didn't want crowd noise screwing it up.

 
Dr.Zom 2008-03-14 12:27:38 AM  
real shaman: douchebag deluxe. don't ever work one of his shows.

Everyone I have ever met who has had anything to do with him says the exact same thing - including members of his own family.

 
liquidlen [TotalFark] 2008-03-14 01:33:34 AM  
Morrison needs some rules about dancing when the rest of the audience had collectively decided to sit.

/Melanie Hutsell come back, I miss you.

 
Xaneidolon [TotalFark] 2008-03-14 04:40:34 AM  
He may be a complete ass to work for...I don't know. But out of the 100+ shows (shows, not bar bands) I've seen, Van was the very best live.

Also, out of all the musicians I know, he's the one for whom I'd least like to audition to be a part of his band. Damn, every band he plays with is tight.

/well, maybe Zappa would have been worse...

 
yarnothuntin 2008-03-14 06:34:47 AM  
FarkinHostile: but you are at HIS show, so he gets to make the rules.

eeeh, I don't really agree with that. If I'm shelling out 70 bucks or more to for him to be there, the crew, the venue etc it pretty much becomes "my" show at that point and yours to of course. And following that logic we should be able to submit a prefered setlist that he has to follow. I'm paying for you now dance monkey! dance!

DammitCatQuitJumpingOnMe: "Brown Eyed Girl" is about booty sex.

I've been saying that for years and everybody tells my I'm a pervert. I'm like "Hey, I didn't write that butt sex song!"

/Astral Weeks is definately a desert ablum pick.

 
varmitydog 2008-03-14 08:54:09 AM  
A couple of weeks ago I got dragged into seeing my nephew's band play. Ain't a one of them 20, ain't a one of them got a pot to piss in, the most valuable thing they own is their musical instruments and sound system. The place they were playing was a
bar that served food, dishes were clanking, people were eating, talking, joking, talking on cell phones and playing grab ass. The nephew's band never took note of any of that, they just played like nobody was there. They were into the music and each other, and by the end of their first set the crowd was too.

Van Morrison is a great talent and a huge star because of it. But give me my nephew's band, and the thousands like it, over pretentious pricks like that uppity Irish wanker any day. He is so full of himself that he has forgotten what music is all about.

 
GibbyTheMole 2008-03-14 09:29:24 AM  
Gulper Eel wrote:

"Joe Jackson used to do that, but he had the excuse that he was trying to record a "live" album but didn't want crowd noise screwing it up."

Yup. The album was "Big World", and it's friggin' magnificent.

 
FarkinHostile 2008-03-14 09:40:11 AM  
eeeh, I don't really agree with that. If I'm shelling out 70 bucks or more to for him to be there, the crew, the venue etc it pretty much becomes "my" show at that point and yours to of course. And following that logic we should be able to submit a prefered setlist that he has to follow. I'm paying for you now dance monkey! dance!


Perhaps, but you have an option:

Don't go.

He won't miss your $70, trust me. To him that is the equilivent of .0005 cents for us. So paying .0005 gives you power over my performance? No. You pay your money to see HIM, he plays what he wants for as long as he wants and if you don't like it......leave or don't go. That is how it works, sorry.

His house, his rules.

 
DontMakeMeShushYou 2008-03-14 10:13:23 AM  
God, I hate cellphones. I refuse to get one and can't go anywhere without some douchenozzle talking loudly about something inane. So I love when people get called out for their rude behavior...but no beer?!? That's not cool.

/get off my lawn

 
Gulper Eel [TotalFark] 2008-03-14 12:58:57 PM  
GibbyTheMole: Yup. The album was "Big World", and it's friggin' magnificent.

QFT.

/whoa - he left the fourth side blank, dude

 
mpv81 2008-03-14 04:12:26 PM  
Can't believe some of the Van Morrison hate here. Astral Weeks is an amazing album, definitely one of my favorites. I wish my dad listened to that kind of shiat.

/26 years old
//people using there cellphones at inappropriate times is the ultimate display of rudeness.

 
Marla Singer's Laundry [TotalFark] 2008-03-14 07:59:18 PM  
yarnothuntin:
DammitCatQuitJumpingOnMe: "Brown Eyed Girl" is about booty sex.

I've been saying that for years and everybody tells my I'm a pervert. I'm like "Hey, I didn't write that butt sex song!"

/Astral Weeks is definately a desert ablum pick.


I've always thought it was a reference to the unspeakable vice of the Greeks.

And no, we can't.

 
pope183 2008-03-14 09:39:00 PM  
jj325: Boritom: If I'm paying 50 gazillion dollars to watch some washed up douchebag warble crap my dad listened to, he can damn well STFU and sing for me like a little monkey, or hand over the cash. Fack these pretentious douchenozzles!

/was in a band for 10 years
//pull that crap in a metal bar, I dare you.

You would pay 50 gazillion dollars to watch a washed up douchebag warble?


Fact : 50 gazillion is number with almost as many zeros as a metal concert

 
Glenechocreek 2008-03-14 11:33:29 PM  
A friend of mine was singing at the Boom Boom Room in San Francisco one time, and Van came in, got up on the stage, and took the mic right out of his hands in the middle of a song. What a dick.

 
CitizenTed [TotalFark] 2008-03-15 03:28:50 PM  
I would support legislation that made the live performance or broadcast of "Brown Eyed Girl" a criminal offense with a mandated sentence of fifteen lashes from a wet rattan cane. Per infraction.

 
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