If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.
Fark SearchWeb Fark

         more options... Create account

(News.com.au) Interesting Australia has six submarines but only three crews to man them, since they can't find enough Australian men willing to go months undersea without a beer   (theaustralian.news.com.au) divider line 92
More: Interesting  
•       •       •

9996 clicks; posted to Main » on 09 Mar 2008 at 11:35 PM   |  Make this a Fark FavoriteFavorite    |   share: Share on OMGTWITTER WEB2.0share on StumbleUponshare on Facebook  more»   |    Get this fabulous T-Shirt and impress the methane out of your friends! shirt it!

92 Comments   (+0 »)


Archived thread
First | « | 1 | 2 | » | Last | Show all
 
monty666 [TotalFark] 2008-03-09 08:25:23 PM  
Seamen!

 
balin007 2008-03-09 08:30:45 PM  
Hmm why not just retire 3 of the subs and man the remaining ones if it is such a hassle?

80K a year to work on one though? Hell can I come from Canada and server on one?

 
ZAZ [TotalFark] 2008-03-09 08:31:15 PM  
The 17-year submarine replacement plan will be the longest and most expensive defence project undertaken in Australia, potentially costing up to $25 billion.

Amateurs. America should loan Australia some consultants and teach our pals down under how to do a massive military contractor handout properly.

 
Sir Roderick Glossop 2008-03-09 09:17:20 PM  
Why don't the submariners just drink each other's piss? It would be better than Fosters...

 
mc2880 [TotalFark] 2008-03-09 10:22:56 PM  
balin007: 80K a year to work on one though? Hell can I come from Canada and server on one?

73k/ year Canadian... and you'd have to live in Australia.

/I guess that's why they say Winnipeg is the best city to be from
//Don't hate, family is from Winnipeg.

 
puskunk 2008-03-09 11:43:10 PM  
A first world country that still uses Diesel-electrics? wow.

 
fragMasterFlash 2008-03-09 11:43:30 PM  
I call bullshiat on the beerless situation. Watch Das Boot (new window) (aka The Boat) if you want to get a feel for the absolute worst hardships endured by submarine crews. Hint: beerlessness was not an issue

 
andyofne [TotalFark] 2008-03-09 11:44:46 PM  
Well, they only have 3 crews because only 2 of their subs are seaworthy.

 
Trozdor 2008-03-09 11:47:18 PM  
I just came for the seamen joke.

//get it?

 
Senordos13 [TotalFark] 2008-03-09 11:50:22 PM  
fragMasterFlash: I call bullshiat on the beerless situation. Watch Das Boot (new window) (aka The Boat) if you want to get a feel for the absolute worst hardships endured by submarine crews. Hint: beerlessness was not an issue

Terrific movie. Made me NEVER want to be on a sub.

 
EL_FABREZ 2008-03-09 11:51:53 PM  
I'll do it if I can be captain. Then I'll just change the rules about booze.

 
Resonant 2008-03-09 11:52:05 PM  
A first world country that still uses Diesel-electrics? wow.

Quieter and cheaper than a nuke, and the range is adequate for coastal defence and shipping interdiction. Agreed, not what you'd want for projecting force halfway around the world, but fine for most country's needs.

 
Klippoklondike 2008-03-09 11:52:41 PM  
I will go if they make me a citizen! If i was in charge i would make Kelsey Grammar the Captain and we'd all dress like pirates and sing Louie Louie.

and we'd be drunk the whole deployment too.

 
minimike 2008-03-09 11:52:57 PM  
I just came for the seamen joke.

//get it?


Not as much as your mum !

 
P-Quin 2008-03-09 11:55:43 PM  
minimike: I just came for the seamen joke.

//get it?

Not as much as your mum !


Well played sir! Well played, indeed.
I like what you did with his mother there. Umm, I mean...

 
Sandwyrm 2008-03-09 11:57:44 PM  
puskunk: A first world country that still uses Diesel-electrics? wow.

Britain still uses diesel boats. Don't mistakenly believe diesels are completely obsolete. Modern diesel subs are (arguably) the quietest in the world, the way they're designed. US construction techniques and materials nullify that advantage diesels have over nuclear by a great deal, though.

Also, I thought Australia was working on a new submarine class that was supposed to be similar in capability to Britain's prototype sub? If they're struggling to operate the subs they have now, how come they want to expand their capacity?

 
nick_papagiorgio [TotalFark] 2008-03-10 12:01:04 AM  
"It's becoming a ghost fleet," said one submariner, who asked not to be named. "We are losing our crews - it feels like the Mary Celeste."

Are sailor's usually as aware of history like this guy?

/just curious

 
andyofne [TotalFark] 2008-03-10 12:02:07 AM  
Sandwyrm: puskunk: A first world country that still uses Diesel-electrics? wow.

Britain still uses diesel boats. Don't mistakenly believe diesels are completely obsolete. Modern diesel subs are (arguably) the quietest in the world, the way they're designed. US construction techniques and materials nullify that advantage diesels have over nuclear by a great deal, though.

Also, I thought Australia was working on a new submarine class that was supposed to be similar in capability to Britain's prototype sub? If they're struggling to operate the subs they have now, how come they want to expand their capacity?


You're right but few will understand.

Small diesel subs are great for operating in littoral waters but not so great for long range deployments.

I came "this close" to deploying on one back in the 80s. It would have been pretty cool.

 
Gyrfalcon [TotalFark] 2008-03-10 12:02:49 AM  
Don't think of it as three unmanned subs...think of it as never running out of spare parts.

 
global wombats [TotalFark] 2008-03-10 12:03:16 AM  
FTA: The Collins-class submarines cruise silently beneath the surface...

Thats a joke right? Please tell me The Australian was joking.

 
DrForrester 2008-03-10 12:09:04 AM  
stuffem.files.wordpress.com
Approves.

 
Ted Kennedy's Swimming Instructor 2008-03-10 12:11:14 AM  
www.sweetmarias.com

 
Klippoklondike 2008-03-10 12:11:16 AM  
Days are broken up into four shifts of six hours on and then six hours off around the clock seven days a week

This is not true. The watchbill will be switched around once or twice a week to get you on a 5-10 or 6-12 hour rotation every so often. Yeah they still have to hotrack (two people sleep in the same bed but have opposite shifts so they never sleep at the same time)but its not so bad when you get used to it.

/did two deployments as a navy mechanic in propulsion, so these replies...

 
Sandwyrm 2008-03-10 12:13:22 AM  
nick_papagiorgio: "It's becoming a ghost fleet," said one submariner, who asked not to be named. "We are losing our crews - it feels like the Mary Celeste."

Are sailor's usually as aware of history like this guy?

/just curious


From my limited life experience, I draw the conclusion that people who work around the sea tend to be more historically minded and superstitious. Traditions at sea are far more important than their equivalents on land. Of course, I can't do more than cite anecdotes to back up my theory, so take that as you will.

 
alacy52 2008-03-10 12:14:09 AM  
"Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to my submarine lair. It's long, hard and full of seamen! [silence] No? Nothing? Not even a titter? Tough sub..."

content.answers.com

 
DrForrester 2008-03-10 12:15:22 AM  
Tired illusions drown in the night.

 
Klippoklondike 2008-03-10 12:16:36 AM  
From my limited life experience, I draw the conclusion that people who work around the sea tend to be more historically minded and superstitious. Traditions at sea are far more important than their equivalents on land. Of course, I can't do more than cite anecdotes to back up my theory, so take that as you will.

You are correct to a point. The U.S. navy teaches some parts of naval history to its sailors, but its only american naval history and most about battles or firsts (first steam ship, first carrier, etc.)

Traditions are huge at sea though. Just look at Manning the Rails and the Shellback ceremony. They dont really mean anything anymore but we still do them.

 
ambercat 2008-03-10 12:18:01 AM  
Let's see, no beer, no pussy, no farking wonder!

 
Manberg 2008-03-10 12:19:22 AM  
fragMasterFlash: I call bullshiat on the beerless situation. Watch Das Boot (new window) (aka The Boat) if you want to get a feel for the absolute worst hardships endured by submarine crews. Hint: beerlessness was not an issue

Watched it in German last year. Never want to even ride in a submarine on say, a tour or something.

/hell I don't want to go more than 10 feet under water

 
nevwyn 2008-03-10 12:19:40 AM  
mc2880: balin007: 80K a year to work on one though? Hell can I come from Canada and server on one?

73k/ year Canadian... and you'd have to live in Australia.

/I guess that's why they say Winnipeg is the best city to be from
//Don't hate, family is from Winnipeg.


Seriously, I'll sign up just get away from the tourist hell that is Niagara, I mean it would only be a 50k a year raise and my family would have proper benefits even if it ment they didn't see me for months.

/Oh wait I work midnights and sleep most of the day they don't see me anyway.

 
Links 2008-03-10 12:19:47 AM  
They just can't take the pressure of being down under down under.

 
Links 2008-03-10 12:24:51 AM  
ambercat: Let's see, no beer, no pussy, no farking wonder!

There's plenty of pussy, it just all smells like shiat.

/seamantics

 
Twisted Gods 2008-03-10 12:27:19 AM  
Resonant: A first world country that still uses Diesel-electrics? wow.

Quieter and cheaper than a nuke, and the range is adequate for coastal defence and shipping interdiction. Agreed, not what you'd want for projecting force halfway around the world, but fine for most country's needs.


This is what I wanted to say after that comment. Well said.

and...

even a Diesel-electrics can shoot some 18 - 20 something nukes. @ 168 warheads per missile, thats, for those who are lacking in basic math, 3,024 individually programmable warheads. So Diesel-electrics, doesn't farking matter, Russia, the Middle East and China could be a quiet neighborhood for a thousand years if their "Diesel-electrics" sub cared to make it so. STFU

Oh and by the way, welcome to america. Please leave.

 
nick_papagiorgio [TotalFark] 2008-03-10 12:32:46 AM  
Sandwyrm: nick_papagiorgio: "It's becoming a ghost fleet," said one submariner, who asked not to be named. "We are losing our crews - it feels like the Mary Celeste."

Are sailor's usually as aware of history like this guy?

/just curious
/jk

From my limited life experience, I draw the conclusion that people who work around the sea tend to be more historically minded and superstitious. Traditions at sea are far more important than their equivalents on land. Of course, I can't do more than cite anecdotes to back up my theory, so take that as you will.


I firmly believe, as a U.S. American, that the appropriate conclusion is attianed via a ubiquitous and irrelevant display of words.

Whoopty is that you?

 
nick_papagiorgio [TotalFark] 2008-03-10 12:34:08 AM  
jk/sand

 
P-Quin 2008-03-10 12:35:26 AM  
Mr. Xhin: How about an all female crew. I'd emergency dive on that.

Yeah, that'd be a LOT of fun on the week when their menstrual cycles have all synched up with each other after a few months' deployment. That's the week (or maybe the week before) when the news outlets all start reporting "Perplexing Merchant Sinkings". (Think about it...it'll come to you.)

(And yes, synching up actually can happen to women who are around each other most of the time. Thank you/damn you, pheromones!)

 
Twisted Gods 2008-03-10 12:35:32 AM  
puskunk: A first world country that still uses Diesel-electrics? wow.

btw, your kid is ugly.

 
kroonermanblack 2008-03-10 12:37:40 AM  
Mr. Xhin: How about an all female crew. I'd emergency dive on that.

Insert Snicker.

Look into what happens to 'all female police forces'.

Women are beyond brutal; an all female force will typically make an all male force look like a bunch of unorganized retarded chipmunks attempting algebra.

Why don't we use them more often? Two reasons. First: Regardless of effectivness, men cannot be raped and impregnated (yet?). Two: frankly, the level of brutality is usually not wanted or needed. Armies want to do a clinical job; if we wanted to slaughter everything we'd just turn it to glass.

Well, three reasons I suppose. Women are the 'lesser sex'. Who would want a woman 'protecting the country', when they could be using thier sexy bits for important things, like strip clubs, or feeding infants.

 
Any Pie Left 2008-03-10 12:37:48 AM  
Neville Shute says "meh".

 
P-Quin 2008-03-10 12:43:53 AM  
Twisted Gods:
even a Diesel-electrics can shoot some 18 - 20 something nukes. @ 168 warheads per missile, thats, for those who are lacking in basic math, 3,024 individually programmable warheads.

Uh, I'm not an expert here, but I have been on a British "nuke-u-lar" missile sub (HMS Vengeance) and I'm telling you that 168 warheads per missile sounds a little, no...a LOT, high. The warheads you're referencing are called "M.I.R.V"s (Multiple Independent Re-entry Vehicles). Good luck fitting 168 of them on a single missile. No way. I suspect the number's closer to 6-12 per missile, though that's still a shiat-load of megatonage dropping out of the sky on thine enemies.

 
P-Quin 2008-03-10 12:55:55 AM  
Here's a link to a pic of MIRV's being loaded onto the business end of a US Peacekeeper missile.

Link (new window)

Apologies if the link doesn't work. "It's my first time."

 
Sandwyrm 2008-03-10 01:12:14 AM  
nick_papagiorgio:
I firmly believe, as a U.S. American, that the appropriate conclusion is attianed via a ubiquitous and irrelevant display of words.

Whoopty is that you?


My goal by posting was to provide one opinion from my point of view, which could be taken in to consideration with other opinions from other points of view to gain a rough idea of the answer to the question "Are sailors usually as aware of history as this guy?". This sort of question is rather large for one person to research individually, therefore I hoped to assist in at least reaching a theory.

And no, I don't have the honor of owning the nick "Whoopty_Dew", though I do recall disagreeing with him/her several times before. The subject matter escapes me, though.

 
762 2008-03-10 01:18:50 AM  
Twisted Gods:

even a Diesel-electrics can shoot some 18 - 20 something nukes. @ 168 warheads per missile, thats, for those who are lacking in basic math, 3,024 individually programmable warheads. So Diesel-electrics, doesn't farking matter, Russia, the Middle East and China could be a quiet neighborhood for a thousand years if their "Diesel-electrics" sub cared to make it so. STFU


I can't even begin to describe how ridiculous this is.

 
Seamer 2008-03-10 01:29:24 AM  
Wow, the hoary chestnut of syncing (hah hah). Read the reports, the recording methods were inadequate, and they abused the calendar in such a way that they completely misconstrued the results.

 
sentient_being 2008-03-10 01:31:11 AM  
Twisted Gods

even a Diesel-electrics can shoot some 18 - 20 something nukes. @ 168 warheads per missile, thats, for those who are lacking in basic math, 3,024 individually programmable warheads. So Diesel-electrics, doesn't farking matter, Russia, the Middle East and China could be a quiet neighborhood for a thousand years if their "Diesel-electrics" sub cared to make it so. STFU

762

I can't even begin to describe how ridiculous this is.

Careful now, you might get the Russian-superjet-could-destroy-the-entire-US-airforce story next.

 
Necrosis 2008-03-10 01:39:47 AM  
Twisted Gods:
even a Diesel-electrics can shoot some 18 - 20 something nukes. @ 168 warheads per missile, thats, for those who are lacking in basic math, 3,024 individually programmable warheads.


As others have said, you are totally wrong. Using the US as an example, the Poseidon SLBM could carry 14 warheads, the newer Trident D5 can carry 8. A Trident sub has 24 tubes, 24 x 8 = 192 warheads. The British ballistic missile subs carry 16 Trident missiles.

 
Danger Avoid Death 2008-03-10 01:41:42 AM  
I'll move to a landlocked state and drink more.

That's right, I'm willing to go months under beer without a sea.

 
global wombats [TotalFark] 2008-03-10 01:58:48 AM  
All this talk of Diesel-electrics and nuclear warheads, you're forgetting...

the Collins-class subs don't carry nuclear missiles.

 
kevinfra 2008-03-10 02:01:32 AM  
Twisted Gods:
even a Diesel-electrics can shoot some 18 - 20 something nukes. @ 168 warheads per missile, thats, for those who are lacking in basic math, 3,024 individually programmable warheads.

By the way, if you look at the ballistic missile submarines, you'll find they are (with a very few exceptions), nukes. Although diesels are very quiet when on batteries, their underwater endurance makes the unsuitable for the ballistic missile mission.

 
Cosmic Crab 2008-03-10 02:02:56 AM  
puskunk: A first world country that still uses Diesel-electrics? wow.

*sigh* Yes, 'cause diesel-electrics are quiet underwater.

 
Displayed 50 of 92 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | » | Last | Show all


[Continue Farking]