Subby, you need a reason to drink?

Could the US finally be figuring out what all of Europe has known for centuries?

Pffft. My family's been practicing this for generations.

dustman81: Subby, you need a reason to drink?

Maybe subby needed a healthy reason to drink.

Personally, I've never worried about it. I always figured Guinness was pretty much the same thing as bread.

/ down to half a loaf a day
// feeling much better now

Quick, someone send this article to the MADD website.

The sun coming up is a reason to drink.
Bush checking out of office would be the best news story ever.

Not that I've ever needed a reason, but I'll drink to that!

Greenlighting a title with a typo? Byech.

FTFA: People who started drinking in middle age...

Well...I assume the excludes every person on FARK.

\call me an "early adopter"

Not the greatest story every, perhaps mosters, but not every.

I started drinking before I was born and all I got was this lousy t-shirt with a cleft collar.

bitteroldman: Not that I've ever needed a reason, but I'll drink to that!

Cheers!

/another "early adopter" here
//something tells me they're measuring things on a different metric to most farkers
///"Fewer than one percent of people in the study drank more than is recommended, King said" means they clearly didn't sample farkers
////I've never limited myself to the recommended amount
//Is it really a good thing to be proud of being a drunk?
//here in Australia it is!
/Waaaay too many slashies!

FTA: People who started drinking in middle age were 38 percent less likely to have a heart attack or other serious heart event than abstainers -- even if they were overweight, had diabetes, high blood pressure or other heart risks, Dr. Dana King of the Medical University of South Carolina in Charleston and colleagues found.

Does anyone know where I can sign up for these studies?

/Free beer!

Should Hillary quit? Vote here!

I didn't start drinking until 23, so I'm getting a kick.....

Many studies have shown that light to moderate drinkers are healthier than teetotalers,

That's not good news at all. I enjoy teetotaling.

The President, Vice President, Cabinet and Congress of the United States impeached, tarred, feathered? No? Meh, I guess it will have to settle for second best.

I've only been drunk once in my life.

From 1984 until now.

Booze cures all disease? DNRTFA

Gonna live forever!

Aqua Vitae!

dustman81: Subby, you need a reason to drink?

This

c[::] c[::] c[::] c[::] c[::]

But the findings do not mean people should drink freely, King said.

Sounds like there's still a job for Rex Banner after all.

Not this f-ing stuff again!

Wine-drinkers only? Hey, brilliant researchers, is the alcohol different in wine? No, it's the grape juice. You get the same health benefits drinking just grape juice.

Jesus H.!

You want to know why non-drinkers die earlier? We pray to God every night, "Get me off this planet of drunken idiots!"

Heh. I read the heading halfway down as "A FEW BINGERS."

Original article: Finally, a reason to start drinking alcohol

Is it also a reason to drink more?

My Liver Hurts: Could the US finally be figuring out what all of Europe has known for centuries?

Hey, we were founded by religious extremists. It takes a few hundred years to shake the "God hates everything fun" culture.

Headline is misleading. Chocolate boobs filled with $1,000 bills are NOT falling from the sky.

Squidgilum: Not this f-ing stuff again!

Wine-drinkers only? Hey, brilliant researchers, is the alcohol different in wine? No, it's the grape juice. You get the same health benefits drinking just grape juice.

Jesus H.!

You want to know why non-drinkers die earlier? We pray to God every night, "Get me off this planet of drunken idiots!"

Seems like you've got "the shakes" pretty badly. Hey, relax. Take the edge off. Have a drink. We won't tell.

Shaggy_C: Many studies have shown that light to moderate drinkers are healthier than teetotalers,

That's not good news at all. I enjoy teetotaling.

Liar, living in Chicago means that you have to drink, usually Old Style. Blech.

Is Bush still president?

trancemission: Heh. I read the heading halfway down as "A FEW BINGERS."

Lets get a story about how that's also good for you and this will be a full day of WIN!!!!!

Shaggy_C: Many studies have shown that light to moderate drinkers are healthier than teetotalers,

That's not good news at all. I enjoy teetotalingteabagging.

FTFY

Pretty much the worst headline ever greenlit

Nice...I'm hoping to greatly improve my health tonight at the bar now that the woman is out of town for a few days...

Subby: I can think of about a million news stories that could be better than this one!

/not bad though

Finally, a reason to start drinking alcohol

That would imply that I stopped at some point.

The Reason^

Well, that's all the convincing i need!!!

Off to the liquor store for some day drinking supplies.

/been waiting for an excuse to use this
//have one on me

I'm going to live forever.

/didn't read the thread but I can;'t be the first who said that... maybe not even the 10th...

Squidgilum: Not this f-ing stuff again!

Wine-drinkers only? Hey, brilliant researchers, is the alcohol different in wine? No, it's the grape juice. You get the same health benefits drinking just grape juice.

Jesus H.!

You want to know why non-drinkers die earlier? We pray to God every night, "Get me off this planet of drunken idiots!"

I call

That, or you choose to ignore science. Monks brew beer for a reason. Plus they're just straight-up awesome.

Axias: Greenlighting a title with a typo? Byech.

Hey, you found a TYPO and let us all know that you found it! You are so very smart! And enthusiastic about your accomplishments! Way to go! Two thumbs up! WAY up!

/end validation

TFHFinally a reason to start drinking alcohol
TFAMany studies have shown that light to moderate drinkers are healthier than teetotalers, but every time, the researchers have cautioned that there is no reason for the abstinent to start drinking.

Hmm...

Ill drink to that.

Heh. I read the heading halfway down as "A FEW BINGERS."

Somebody say my name?

carnifexpuer: TFHFinally a reason to start drinking alcohol
TFAMany studies have shown that light to moderate drinkers are healthier than teetotalers, but every time, the researchers have cautioned that there is no reason for the abstinent to start drinking.

Hmm...

researchers are pussies...man up and call it like it is

Alcohol. What CAN'T it do?