Vanilla is the tool of Satan.

heh...Reminds of Tom Hanks on "Family Ties".

ice ice baby

Concentrated evil.

I worked at Jumbo Market 10-12 years ago in the ghetto and we had to card for vanilla if a kid bought it. No 21, no sale. Kind of old, guys. But is that me, or the story that's old? The mystery of Fark continues.

Bill Cosby...

damn... I almost had a good line involving Bill Cosby rescuing the Vanilla Pudding... someone else do it, my mind went blank :X

awww... link farked

I drink vanilla for the taste.

The East has the stupidest alcohol laws in America. All the Puritans stayed out here and all the normal people seem to have moved elsewhere.

Explain to me... if these kids are shoplifting, why are they stealing Vanilla and not the good stuff? I mean... if you aren't going to pay for it you don't need an ID...

I could see maybe "Vannila Extract sales increase, IDs are now required to purchase"...

Here in PA, they sell beer only by the case, unless you go to a bar, where you can get an overpriced 6-pack. The state owns the wine and spirit stores. These people are retards. If you want to have people over for dinner, you have to go three places to get the food, the beer, and the wine.

Advantage - West Coast

...bottles much smaller and alcohol more concentrated.

What? No Newsflash here???

Nobody remembers Tom Hanks on Family Ties drinking vanilla extract? Am I that old?

Thanks Fark and the Press Enterprise Online - I never knew this - but now I know what to shop-lift when I've reached absolute rock bottom (too poor even to post shiat on Fark) thanks to drink.

I'm always the last to find out about these sordid underworld practices. It took a conservative MP (Stephen Milligan) to alert me to something called "auto-erotic" asyphxiation after he was found dead in stockings and suspenders with a rope around his neck a plastic bag over his head with a tangerine clamped in his mouth. And I never looked back.

Nobody is going to admit to watching Family Ties.

drinking vanilla extract? that stuff is pretty nasty, i would rather steal the hard stuff

Link is farked - someone post the text from your cache?

I remeber my brother and his friend used to use vanilla extract in their coke. My parents thought they liked the tast of vannilla and cola, I laughed at them and drank a beer.

Getting drunk on vanilla extract = projectile vomiting,
but I suppose the vomit would taste better.

Millay in Minnesota you can't get alcohol (except 3.2 beer & wine coolers) in the grocery store. Liquor stores close at 8 pm on weekdays, 10 on Friday & Saturday. Better stock up for the weekend, 'cause you can't get alcohol on Sundays either. Feh. Liquor laws.

Llois:

New Mexico is the best. Grocery stores sell liquor, beer and wine and you can sell until midnight Mon-Sat, 10pm on Sunday. Until 1998--drive thru liquor stores, cups with ice if you asked.

No worse than drinking aftershave like the Russkies, I guess. The above is right -- you can't steal "the hard stuff" from a grocery store (or even "beer" for that matter). Beer has it's own special store. Booze aside from beer has it's own special store separate from the beer store. Both of these types of stores would be somewhat hard to steal from, compared to a grocery store (low security) and the relatively small size of the bottle (I got a 'bulk size' bottle of vanilla from Sam's Club, but even that's only about the size of a can of beer). I'm glad to see PA is leading the nation (just guessing, actually) in minors breaking laws (theft) in order to break other laws (underage drinking) in order to potentially cause property damage, erratic driving, sickness, and potential pregnancy.

liquor laws are just a nice way of maying sure alcoholics are more organized and plan their binges.. hmm or always have aton on hand. cant decide if thats bad or not.

Drive thru liquor stores=comedy gold.

In Arizona they sell until 1 am Sunday-Saturday. Liquor, been, and wine at pretty much any drug/food store.. and drive thru liquor stores. w00t

The Associated Press
11/3/02 1:46 PM


BLOOMSBURG, Pa. (AP)
Some grocery stores have removed vanilla extract from their shelves to prevent thieves from stealing it apparently for its alcoholic kick.
"We kept finding bottles and boxes in the parking lot," said Bill Jones, manager of Boyer's Food Market in Berwick.


Customers at Weis Markets and Boyer's Food Market in Berwick have to ask for the extract at the customer service desks.


Jones suspects the vanilla, a 2-ounce bottle of which costs about $3 at Boyer's, is being stolen for its alcohol content.


Pure vanilla extract, which is used for cooking, must be at least 35 percent ethyl alcohol, according to Edgar A. Weber and Co., which makes vanilla for the food industry. That means it is about 70-proof, or somewhere between the potency of schnapps and vodka.


Store officials at Giant Foods in Berwick and Bloomsburg recently returned the extract to the shelves.


"We're going to monitor that section and apprehend anyone who steals this product," Giant spokesman Dennis Hopkins said.

Millay I KNOW!!! I love NM, Santa Fe and Taos are my favorite cities in the country. I'd move there, but my heart calls me to England, where the pubs close at 11:00...

Boobiesontheside Good thing I'm an organized drunk and get my cheap-ass vodka well ahead of time. *hic*

liquor up front, poker in the rear

11-03-02 09:02:52 PM Millay
The East has the stupidest alcohol laws in America. All the Puritans stayed out here and all the normal people seem to have moved elsewhere.

Interesting theory. I've yet to see alcohol laws that can compare however to Texas (dry counties, 3.2 beer, blue laws on sunday) or Washington State (state stores, floor plan requirements, restaurant versus bar, tribal versus non-tribal, and about 1,000 Agents of the Liquor Control Board running around with Elliot Ness complexes and a tendency to go after non-yuppie bars.

I didn't even mention Utah, speaking of the Mormon Empire (of which Washington State is a member, whether 'liberal Seattle' knows it or not)...

I live in Somerset, KY (70 miles from Lexington, Fark HQ). This whole area is dry, no beer, liquor, or wine allowed. I have to drive 54 miles (twice a month is the average)to get beer or liquor, this area has been dry since prohibition was repealed.
The last time we had a vote on it, it was me and 1500 old ladies at the precinct voting, I am sure I was the only one that voted yes.
I lived in Texas for a while and got spoiled, it sucks to have to drive 50+ to have a beer with your food.

I have a better idea- stop caring about food poisoning and join Team FARK.com to cure
cancer. ( We are doing really bad, and we need more people to join in the cause)

Link to website is here.

Dankoleary

Awesome idea

BUT I have a plan to stop those little sh*ts:

Fill all of the vanilla extract with methanol, with a little vanilla flavor. Then, anytime someone brings one to the register, exchange it for the 'real' stuff with ethenol.

Paying customers go home with the correct item, while shoplifters go blind.

Perfect!

Generation_D 3.2 beer? In Texas? You must be thinking of Oklahoma. Also, blue laws were more concerned with things other than alcohol (clothing, office supplies, etc., its kinda hard to explain or understand.)

here in Ohio, you can sell alcohol pretty much whenever- IF your willing to pay. a license for Sunday sales cost about 2-4 times what a license for weekday sales costs. Also, night/ early morning sales permits are just as expensive.
Grocery stores can sell beer, wine, and some spirits. Hard liquor can only be sold in stores with a special state liquor license- the state liquor stores were privatized, and now some grocery stores have the licenses to sell the hard stuff.

FARK!!!

pRiCe ChOpPeR 0wnZ WeIs

come to new orleans. if you haven't finished your drink but want to leave the bartender will put the remainder in a "go cup" for you. but in an attempt to curb drinking and driving the drive thru lane at the daqueri shop has been outlawed.

LA (and i think MS) have drive thru lanes at some liquor stores.

Texas has weird liqour laws? I thought Texas was the place where open containers were legal, even in cars.

And yeah, buying beer in Pennsylvania blows. Even if you go to the bother of buying a case, it's a terrible ripoff. A case of, say, Labatt Blue costs like $20 in Pennsylvania and maybe $13 in New York.

You Farkers haven't even scratched the surface of liqour laws until you've seen Utahs liqour laws.

I won't even get started with them.

Alright, my link got posted!

- I'm gonna get you, Vanilla Extract Baron!
- No you won't!
- Yes I will!
(much further away) - No you won't!

By the way - Afternoon Delight's idea, but that person can't post now etc.

Generation_D:

I went to school with many Texans. They had much healthier attitudes about drinking than folks back East. Out East, you *can* drink, but they make sure you feel guilty. Plus, my wife and I were driving through Utah a couple of years back. She wanted a beer with dinner, so we found a TGI Friday's about 500 yards from the freeway in Salt Lake. They served her, didn't ask her to join a "club" or even ID her. It was easier than getting a beer with dinner in Boston, that's for sure.

Llois:

Suck it up. Move to New Mexico. It's truly God's country, the most beautiful state in the US. Good thing most Easterners don't even know it exists, or they're scared by it.

Partisan28:

One of my law school professors represented bootleggers in western Virginia. He said that people always vote to keep the counties dry because the churches and bootleggers band together to form an unholy alliance. Bootleggers want the money, church folks want to believe that Jesus had Welsh's at the last supper.

Even though the second A stands for Anonymous, I gotta tell a story I heard in a meeting. This one dude was so ashamed of how far his first A had progressed that he would only go out at 3 am to the all night grocery and buy big bottles of lemon extract. Over time, his kitchen cabinets got packed with flour and sugar because he thought if the checker saw him buying a lot of baking stuff, she wouldn't question the twenty bottles of extract.

Then there was the guy I knew who used to suck all the nitrous out of the whipped cream in the store. Oh yeah. That was me.

Omigah, you mean the old "let's git fuked up on hi-alchohol extracts is back in vogue? A coupla buddies in my frosh year in high school tried that - I think there are several other exttracts with high alchohol content - uh, mint, lemon...wow, this is real flashback. Of course the same dumbasses also tried to get off on Romilar too. Woo-wee, that is one UGLY way to get barfin' sick. Heheheh!

That vanilla is expensive booze (per ounce), although REAL vanilla costs even more than the McCormick's shiat that they sell in the stores for 3.5 - 4 dollars.

Curious --

AZ has drive through liquor and tough DUI laws. We also live next to Mexico where 95%, drinkable ethanol goes for $5-6 per liter. It's really extra high proof rum, distilled from fermented cane. Tequila is dirt cheap, too. They sell the vanilla extract there very cheap as well.

Iamsosmrt
Nobody remembers Tom Hanks on Family Ties drinking vanilla extract? Am I that old?

I do! He drank marishino cherry juice too. It was one of those "very special" episode. He played "the uncle". Micheal Keaton finds him raiding the pantry for booze, and he breaks down and admits to being an alchololic.

That and KitH's "Girly Drink Drunk" always make me giggle.

Even Texas has tightened up over the years. It used to be legal to cruise down the highway with a coupla open tall boys of Lone Star. Even had drive-thoughs featuring cold beer and ammunition!