Surgeon General's Warning: Food has been found to cause obesity, diabetes, heart disease, liver disease, kidney failure, gastrointestinal infections, cancer, and dangerous allergic reactions.

Well then I'll stop eating milk...

I heard milk has boogers in it. Sweet, delicious boogers.

Who are these people that eat food without having a clue what's in it? "What? Milkfat has fat in it?" And if they're that dumb, what makes them think a label will help?

"In a nutshell. And I thought to myself, 'a little fermented curd will do the trick'. So I curtailed my Walpoling activities, sallied forth, and infiltrated your place of purveyance to negotiate the vending of some cheesy comestibles."

It's the cows insideous plan to give us all cancer, kill us off, and make rule over their new, bovine, world.

I already planed on substituting rum for all dairy products anyways.

revrendjim: "In a nutshell. And I thought to myself, 'a little fermented curd will do the trick'. So I curtailed my Walpoling activities, sallied forth, and infiltrated your place of purveyance to negotiate the vending of some cheesy comestibles."

*swoons*

Wanebo: It's the cows insideous plan to give us all cancer, kill us off, and make rule over their new, bovine, world.
Between methane production and cheese production, they're pretty well a ticking time bomb.

/stay away from my peppered beef jerky

granolasteak: /stay away from my peppered beef jerky

In fact, maybe that's the answer...turn all the cows into beef jerky.

It's the processed food that's killing us, not the more natural fats.

THE STATE OF VERMONT WILL NOT APOLOGIZE FOR ITS CHEESE.

CtrlAltDelete: THE STATE OF VERMONT WILL NOT APOLOGIZE FOR ITS CHEESE.

But Oregon and Wisconsin have some 'splaining to do.

I just finished chowing down on a triple-cream camambert, so I am getting a kick out of these replies....

The Surgeon General has determined that life is fatal and it will kill you to death. Studies have shown that long term exposure to life sometimes results in sudden death but most often has the effect of very gradual death over a long period of time.

To avoid the effects of death the Surgeon General recommends keeping your mind in its original state as a pure mathematical abstract without co-opting with a lifeform in order to experience silliness like the feeling of fresh dew on the grass, the smell of a thunderstorm, a flirtatious kiss, the feeling of loving someone who does not love you, the richness of colors, the sound of laughter, and the finality of death.

It is for your safety.

Will there be warning labels on deep fried Mars bars too?

batchild: It's the processed food that's killing us, not the more natural fats.

this!

heidi girl: batchild: It's the processed food that's killing us, not the more natural fats.

this!



_{and staring at the computer screen for extended periods of time can lead to eyestrain}

Yay!

Seizure time!

I really drink way too much milk. Close to a half gallon a day. I usually stick with skim, but it's just too many calories. Girlfriend buys me organic milk sometimes. Milk is just awesome. With anything.

/also never had a cavity or broken a bone
//anechdotal evidence FTW

and yet Taco Bell remains unaccountable...

Okay, you government boys are so smart. You tell me which brand of beer I have to start using on my cornflakes. shiat.

granolasteak: CtrlAltDelete: THE STATE OF VERMONT WILL NOT APOLOGIZE FOR ITS CHEESE.

But Oregon and Wisconsin have some 'splaining to do.

Don't forget those happy cows from CALIFORNIA!!

Once again, Woody Allen predicts the future.

Has anyone ever shown, scientifically, that health warnings lead to better public health?

/milk, at least skim milk, is a part of many a great diet plans...
//switching from soda to milk and water will probably drop 10 pounds off you if you're overweight
///don't mess with milk

batchild: It's the processed food that's killing us, not the more natural fats.

No, it's not. It's poor decision-making that's killing us.

everything in moderation, phuc stix.

You can pry my cheese from my cold, cardiac-arrest killed fingers.

CtrlAltDelete: THE STATE OF VERMONT WILL NOT APOLOGIZE FOR ITS CHEESE.

Bears repeating. I think this is another of those warning signs that people who claim Idiocracy is coming true should probably pay attention to. I mean, generally I think those people are even bigger pretentious idiots than the people they think they're mocking, but this one is actually rather relevant. Cultural trends shift and change over time. Government legislation is forever.

Right. So let's substitute it with soda. That will go really well. Or better yet, everyone stop drinking water, because it comes from the sky, you know, where birds are, and we all know how dirty birds are.

mrswelborne: granolasteak: CtrlAltDelete: THE STATE OF VERMONT WILL NOT APOLOGIZE FOR ITS CHEESE.

But Oregon and Wisconsin have some 'splaining to do.

Don't forget those happy cows from CALIFORNIA!!

It be the devil weed that does that to them I tells yah.

Yesdog: Who are these people that eat food without having a clue what's in it? "What? Milkfat has fat in it?" And if they're that dumb, what makes them think a label will help?

All the hand-wringing politicians can, during election time, say "Look! I did something about the problem!" Then, all their drooling constituents can give them a hearty "huzzah!" and vote the lawmakers straight back into office with a dull sense of unearned satisfaction.

Unavailable for comment

Warning, this cheese is no gouda for you?

Why yes, I do like cheese. Why do you ask?

darkscout

Simul-post with the same reference!! Woot!

E Arkhe: "I haven't had real butter since I was a little girl!"

You happen to remember what occurred on the Fifth of November?

FTFA: "The health warnings would be aimed at urging people to cut down on the amount of saturated fat they eat and make dairy products an occasional treat rather than a regular part of their diet."

Cutting saturated fat: good, healthy idea.

Making dairy products an occasional treat: not so much.

Dairy products are full of high quality proteins, vitamins and, of course, calcium. As I understand it, people who include dairy as a "regular part of their diet" are healthier. Just look at any food pyramid.

Moderation. Does a body good. Seriously.

They want to put warning labels on foods high in saturated fats? That's not a terrible idea, even if it seems a bit excessive. Putting labels on just dairy products? That a juicy slab of fail with a delicious slice of cheese on top.

/Nutrition major
//Getting a kick, etc.
///Freshman, though, so, you know...I'm not an expert...yet
////slashies...dear God, stop me!

Interrupted Infinitum: E Arkhe: "I haven't had real butter since I was a little girl!"

You happen to remember what occurred on the Fifth of November?

I know of no reason why the gunpowder treason should ever be forgot...ten.

People are getting dumber by the day.

Some ways of eating work well for some people. Some ways work well for others. We're all made of tiny, tiny Tinkertoy machines (aka cells) that grab whatever's closest to keep themselves going.

Some people can stuff themselves full of Twinkies and stay healthy. We call these people "children". Others eat only broccoli and beans and vitamins, and they still hurt all day long. We call these people "seniors".

If "children" eat broccoli and beans instead of Twinkies, and exercise all their lives, and keep eating a wide variety of whole foods, the current science says they will be much healthier and less full of ouch when they're old than their friends who ate Twinkies and never left the couch. (I've just noticed that "couch" rhymes with "ouch". I'm sure that's irrelevant and coincidental.)

That said, all of our Tinkertoys are a bit different from each other's. Some "children" (and "adults") live well on dairy products and beef. Some live best on veggies and grains. More people could probably live well on veggies and grains than think they can, mostly because they like cheeseburgers and don't want to change.

The best way to tell where you fall: pick a food group and live on it for a few days. Notice how you feel the next morning. If you're peppy and happy, and the previous day was made of veggies, you'll have to choose whether you prefer psychological (and tastebud) comfort over feeling physically good every day. (If you were a vegan and felt best eating meat and cheese, well, that might be entertaining to watch.)

/note: am vegetarian
//note2: mostly for medical reasons
///note3: still chose veggies most of my life before I knew I should
////note4: I'm mostly an idiot. Ignore me.

Cutting saturated fat: good, healthy idea.

Making dairy products an occasional treat: not so much.

Dairy products are full of high quality proteins, vitamins and, of course, calcium. As I understand it, people who include dairy as a "regular part of their diet" are healthier. Just look at any food pyramid.

Moderation. Does a body good. Seriously.

They want to put warning labels on foods high in saturated fats? That's not a terrible idea, even if it seems a bit excessive. Putting labels on just dairy products? That a juicy slab of fail with a delicious slice of cheese on top.

I concur.

EsteeFlwrPot: People are getting dumber by the day.

I was trying to ignore that fact until last week when i bought a candy bar. The wrapper said "Easy open package". I wondered just how easy it could be, I mean, I never had a hard time unwrapping a candy bar in the past. The wrapper looked the same, but included step by step instructions on how to unwrap the candy. Just reading the three step instructions makes one feel dumber.

Jumpin' jesus.

Bread is bad for you, its like eating a not as tastey donut because it doesn't have a vitamin shoved in it.
Broccoli is bad for you, because since in a few cases there was salmonella, we all gonna die!
Fruits and Veggies are bad because of pesticides! Buy the really expensive organic crap that is made by the same company. (I know you can buy local, but oranges don't do too well in Wisconsin)
Real sugar is bad for you! Buy the substitute that causes cancer...

Now they are coming after my milk because it has fat? Are you F-ing serious? I know that fatties are on the rise, and I've been a life long member, but jebus. The only thing that is good enough to eat are carrots(yummy) and vitamins. Was I the only one paying attention in school? In my life, H.S. covered what milk was made of in Math, Chemistry, Biology, History and Home Ec. Pretty soon all we will eat is vitamins and wonder why our bodies don't preform right.(body need complex sugars to function. That means *gasp* graaaaiiiiiins)

/rant over
//according to nutritionists, it's a farking maricle we survived the past 40,000 years.

Surgeon General's Warning: Anything you put into your body may have negative consequences and ultimately lead to your gruesome death. You're better off not eating or drinking anything, and just dying earlier, but with the happy knowledge that you didn't ingest anything that caused your death.

Now I'm going to run out and have some Twinkies and cocaine.

Unavailable for comment.

/are these even known outside of wisconsin?
//i mean who the fark else would fry cheese...

Speedofdarkness: I already planed on substituting rum for all dairy products anyways.


First thing I thought of

Cyno01: Unavailable for comment.

/are these even known outside of wisconsin?
//i mean who the fark else would fry cheese...

People that know how to live, that who.
Fried mars bars on the other hand...

/Tried making fried Ice Cream once.
//Not worth it

Cyno01:
/are these even known outside of wisconsin?
//i mean who the fark else would fry cheese...

Them dirty a-rabs! Ever heard of yummy Halloum cheese? If you can find it in your grocery store, I highly recommend it. Cut it up into half a centimeter slices, heat up a frying pan with olive oil, throw em on the pan until they're brown on both sides. Eat em with eggs. Mmm.