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(Daily Mail) Cool Huge-ass humpback whale gives kayakers the shock of their lives, before realising they weren't Japanese whalers (pics)   (mailonsunday.co.uk) divider line 108
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And-1 2008-03-02 05:48:39 PM  
FTFA: Scientists are unsure exactly why humpbacks leap out of the sea. Some argue it is to scrape skin parasites off their barnacle-encrusted bodies, others that they are simply jumping for joy.

FTFA: The whale warns the canoists away from her baby

Nothing like completely making up a load of bullshiat to improve your sensationalist reporting.

Cool pics though.

 
HaywoodJablonski [TotalFark] 2008-03-02 05:54:43 PM  
Awesome pics.

Went on a whale-watching cruise in Cabo San Lucas several years ago. These things got damn close to the catamaran, scaring the hell out of me.

 
Myownepitaph [TotalFark] 2008-03-02 07:02:30 PM  
The whale appears to be having a good time, I don't see what the problem is...

 
Firetini [TotalFark] 2008-03-02 07:03:21 PM  
"Admiral – there be whales here!"

 
mamoru [TotalFark] 2008-03-02 07:52:32 PM  
submitter: Huge ass-humpback whale gives kayakers the shock of their lives, before realising they weren't Japanese whalers (pics)

Yes, it is my hobby too.

 
Heroic Poser 2008-03-02 07:59:50 PM  
HA! I would scare that whale away easily.

At the first splash I would release so much urine it wouldn't want to stay.

 
Mr. McPeanut 2008-03-02 08:41:06 PM  
You come from sad whale family, deep in ocean!

/obscure?

 
kilgorn 2008-03-02 08:41:33 PM  
www.uis.edu

He just hocked a loogie on you...

 
Bith Set Me Up 2008-03-02 08:41:44 PM  
Star Trek IV thread!

images.wikia.com

/Well, double dumbass on you!

 
quiet_american 2008-03-02 08:45:23 PM  
www.scifimoviepage.com

 
overlord 2008-03-02 08:50:06 PM  
imgs.xkcd.com

 
desolationrow 2008-03-02 08:50:38 PM  
Mentioning Japan in lame articles for guaranteed greenlights is way too easy. Low-hanging fruit, and all that.

 
tokyotron 2008-03-02 08:54:06 PM  
Complete photoshop on this one. Whales are good eatin'.

 
n2k3156 2008-03-02 08:56:00 PM  
img.photobucket.com

 
moondo 2008-03-02 08:56:50 PM  
Wouldn't it be stupid for a whale to breach in front of Japanese whalers? I would lay low and curse them. Or be a good whale and sacrifice myself for the pleasure of human vanity.

 
xebeche_tzu 2008-03-02 08:57:22 PM  
Who knew Depends were kayaking gear?

Those people need a drink, I reckon.

 
Friendly Neighborhood Pervert 2008-03-02 08:57:36 PM  
I bet Vivian Vance was a demon in the sack. She seemed like the type who'd enjoy doing oral.

 
Bucky Katt [TotalFark] 2008-03-02 08:58:38 PM  
it's possible the whale was doing its thing and was indifferent to a mere kayak

 
I_Approve_Of_This_Message 2008-03-02 08:59:53 PM  
Better than getting your 50 lb. salmon bitten in half by an orca (new window).

 
ChopSueyKS 2008-03-02 09:02:07 PM  
Bucky Katt: it's possible the whale was doing its thing and was indifferent to a mere kayak

It's possible, but hardly interesting.

I heard the whale had killed the kayaking guy's father 20 years earlier and told him then that this day would come. Now this story is epic.

 
Sandman3G 2008-03-02 09:02:56 PM  
i55.photobucket.com

 
limboslam 2008-03-02 09:05:49 PM  
Firetini: "Admiral - there be whales here!"

Thar
be whales here. Thar.

 
kilgorn 2008-03-02 09:08:36 PM  
ChopSueyKS
Bucky Katt: it's possible the whale was doing its thing and was indifferent to a mere kayak

It's possible, but hardly interesting.

I heard the whale had killed the kayaking guy's father 20 years earlier and told him then that this day would come. Now this story is epic.


Meanwhile, back at the ranch, the avenging whale had a devil-ray
buddy on a mission to off someone famous...

 
Bith Set Me Up 2008-03-02 09:10:03 PM  
I think he did a little too much LDS.

 
Outshined_One [TotalFark] 2008-03-02 09:10:58 PM  
Nuclear wessel!

 
Smaerd 2008-03-02 09:12:26 PM  
Anybody else notice that there are two different kayaks in those photos (a red one and yellow one), and also one couple is white and the other is black? I don't think the images are fake or anything. I'm just amused that the Sun tries to tell the story like it's just one couple.

 
ScottHimself 2008-03-02 09:12:47 PM  
My only phobia is of big shiat in the water. I don't know if that's a recognized phobia, but even if I knew the whale was harmless if I'm stuck in a pool with it I'll shiat myself.

I pretty much would've crapped in my kayak.

 
qlenfg 2008-03-02 09:14:23 PM  
I'll bet the rental company had to sanitize or possibly destroy that boat after it was returned.

I keep thinking of the Simpsons episode where Homer goes to clown school. As he's riding the small bicycle his pants get caught and pulled off. Krusty says "Burn that seat!"

 
tokyotron 2008-03-02 09:16:01 PM  
moondo: Wouldn't it be stupid for a whale to breach in front of Japanese whalers? I would lay low and curse them. Or be a good whale and sacrifice myself for the pleasure of human vanity.

Human vanity? There is not much market in whale blubber here, from what I can see. People complain about old fishermen killing and eating dolphins too. Why doesn't anyone THINK OF THE COWS!!!! They are being killed in herds to become Big Macs!!! The US doesn't even make up a story about research! People are wearing their skin on their bodies!!! And using their scrotums for change purses!!!

 
StrawberryBlonde 2008-03-02 09:19:10 PM  
overlord

HA! xkcd comics are my favourite

 
vartian [TotalFark] 2008-03-02 09:20:18 PM  
So...farking...jealous.

 
Old enough to know better 2008-03-02 09:22:26 PM  
ScottHimself: My only phobia is of big shiat in the water. I don't know if that's a recognized phobia, but even if I knew the whale was harmless if I'm stuck in a pool with it I'll shiat myself.


This.

I don't go anywhere near the water unless I'm in something that I'm damn sure is bigger than anything swimming underneath.

 
one0nine 2008-03-02 09:24:44 PM  
I believe I can say without shame or fear of contradiction that I would have pissed all over the kayak, myself, and the whale just out of utter fear. Whales are cool and all, but I damn sure don't want to be in the way of one when it's doing it's thing... whatever that "thing" happens to be, such as broaching, or even hocking a loogie (thanks Bill Engvall, can't get that image out of my head).

 
And-1 2008-03-02 09:25:35 PM  
Smaerd: Anybody else notice that there are two different kayaks in those photos (a red one and yellow one), and also one couple is white and the other is black? I don't think the images are fake or anything. I'm just amused that the Sun tries to tell the story like it's just one couple.

FTFA: These extraordinary images show one couple calmly watching one of these giants of the sea as it raises its fin ... In another dramatic encounter, an astonished couple see a humpback soar up out of the water.

It was also the Mail on Sunday, not the Sun.

Reading comprehension = FAIL.

 
doofusgumby [TotalFark] 2008-03-02 09:25:43 PM  
"What is the meaning of 'exact change' "

 
maxheck 2008-03-02 09:25:58 PM  
Heroic Poser:

HA! I would scare that whale away easily.

At the first splash I would release so much urine it wouldn't want to stay.


Strangely enough, that would be my tactic as well.

 
kilgorn 2008-03-02 09:27:51 PM  
doofusgumby
"What is the meaning of 'exact change' "

What does it mean..."exact change"?

/Treks'ter

 
Burnttoast27 2008-03-02 09:28:13 PM  
I watch those dumb farks in the kayaks harass the whales every weekend right off the beach in Honokowai. They were out there today.

\Haole arse tourists

 
Constance Velocity 2008-03-02 09:30:08 PM  
As long as we're making up stuff about what the whale is saying:

"Not your ocean. Get out of it."

or

"I don't paddle a boat all around YOUR house uninvited. Get out."

 
And-1 2008-03-02 09:31:41 PM  
The amusing thing is that paddling as hard as you can would be quite pointless. Really, if that whale had intended to harm any of them, it would have, and there is no way they could have paddled hard enough to get away from it.

I suspect that this ....

Bucky Katt: it's possible the whale was doing its thing and was indifferent to a mere kayak

...is the most accurate description.

 
biglot 2008-03-02 09:32:43 PM  
Scientists are unsure exactly why humpbacks leap out of the sea

Get some air?

Swot' I would do.

 
IAmSteveDownes 2008-03-02 09:33:50 PM  
tokyotron
Why doesn't anyone THINK OF THE COWS!!!! They are being killed in herds to become Big Macs!!! The US doesn't even make up a story about research! People are wearing their skin on their bodies!!! And using their scrotums for change purses!!!

It's something about "level of intelligence". Whales are extremely intellligent, have a language and exhibit many higher level abilites. Cows, much like you, are completely void of any sigificant thought, ability or action.

If you're not a total vegan, wouldn't kill a fly, spider, snake, etc... and utilize ONLY vegetable and mineral resources, you are a complete and total hypocrite and need to do the world a favor and self-terminate.

/TROLL!
//counting the coins in my cow scrotum change-purse.
///Made a KILLER meatloaf for dinner.

 
FilmBELOH20 [TotalFark] 2008-03-02 09:35:25 PM  
Friendly Neighborhood Pervert: I bet Vivian Vance was a demon in the sack. She seemed like the type who'd enjoy doing oral.

What the hell does Vivian Vance have anything to do with this? Did I miss some kind of I love Lucy reference?

 
autumn42 2008-03-02 09:36:57 PM  
img299.imageshack.us

Somebody better call Leon Anawak. It has begun...

 
IAmSteveDownes 2008-03-02 09:38:55 PM  
Hey, PERV! I'm betting she liked butt seks

 
ChopSueyKS 2008-03-02 09:39:15 PM  
biglot: Scientists are unsure exactly why humpbacks leap out of the sea

Get some air?

Swot' I would do.


Probably the same reason people insist on going into the water. Although, deep down inside, I'd like to think that those few moments of air time is like an acid trip for a whale.

/Leap
//OMG WTF is this?! I can see forever!
/splash

 
Firetini [TotalFark] 2008-03-02 09:42:23 PM  
Bith Set Me Up: Star Trek IV thread!

/Well, double dumbass on you!


i95.photobucket.com

 
Firetini [TotalFark] 2008-03-02 09:43:01 PM  
limboslam: Firetini: "Admiral - there be whales here!"

Thar be whales here. Thar.


Ay limboslam

 
pisceandreamer 2008-03-02 09:43:45 PM  
That is the coolest thing ever.

And yes, I'd probably need new undies and would puke if it happened to me.

But still, so cool.

 
Donald_McRonald 2008-03-02 09:45:42 PM  
Scientists are unsure exactly why humpbacks leap out of the sea.

1. Whales are mammals.

2. Whales leap out of the sea ALL the time.

3. The purpose of the whale is to flip out and kill people.

 
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