What about squirrel eating?

I'd like to see how they handle a beaver

That article read like a gigantic pile of feces deposited by an unimaginably large elephant.

Nothing any of you have mentioned or will mention will compare to Weasel Stomping Day

/Put your Viking helmet on.
//Spread that mayonnaise on the lawn.
///It's tradition, that makes it okay!

I have no idea what I just read. What was that about?

What, no wacked a snake?

"She skinned a muskrat in full makeup and sparkly earrings," said Amy Nicholson

I didn't think Delia Smith would have qualified for this pageant. Class act.

I'd like to see her pelt.

/got nothin'

Scott77: I'd like to see her pelt.

/got nothin'

I'd skin it.
Wait, are we supposed to use metaphors or something?

"I'd like to see her pelt.

/got nothin'".

That was enough for me. I'm spent.

She's a keeper.

"She skinned a muskrat in full makeup and sparkly earrings,"

Why was the muskrat wearing sparkly earrings?

Great, now I have Love will keep us Together stuck in my head. That has to be actionable.

tomhath: "She skinned a muskrat in full makeup and sparkly earrings,"

Why was the muskrat wearing sparkly earrings?

More importantly, why give it make-up if you're just going to peel it off?

Phil Moskowitz: Great, now I have Love will keep us Together stuck in my head. That has to be actionable.
This should fix that.
Bravo Subby

IKillBugs: Phil Moskowitz: Great, now I have Love will keep us Together stuck in my head. That has to be actionable.
This should fix that.
Bravo Subby

The horror....the horror...the horror...

Uncle Bester: The horror....the horror...the horror...

Always glad to help.

How the hell did Tennille get her hair to look like a big shiny plastic helmet?

Part of me hopes for a day that city slickers are unable to walk into a store and buy meat, fruits and veggies and instead have to fend for themselves. Can you imagine some New Yorker trying to actually cultivate some food? let lone wanting steak or chicken and having no idea where it actually comes from?

Funny stuff

Don't get me wrong, I don't think starvation is funny but it would be a bit poetic for those types of people, who constanly look down their noses at people who they depend on to provide for them their daily bread to be forced to recognize their utter incompitence and inability to provide for their basic survival.

look like eyes cas find mez a gurl toooo

Muscraturday?

shiat. Should have worn a dress.

Egalitarian: How the hell did Tennille get her hair to look like a big shiny plastic helmet?

I know her and she is really nice.
/As far as her hair she uses Aqua Net. ; )
//She was my neighbor.

Egalitarian: How the hell did Tennille get her hair to look like a big shiny plastic helmet?

LOL!

And that's cool to know, Nancy's Meat Puppet. Even though The Captain & Tenille's music isn't aimed for my demographic, I do keep a mental list of celebrities who are also nice.

/Would've hit that in 1975
//If I weren't 2-years-old, of course...

libbynomore2: Don't get me wrong, I don't think starvation is funny but it would be a bit poetic for those types of people, who constanly look down their noses at people who they depend on to provide for them their daily bread to be forced to recognize their utter incompitence and inability to provide for their basic survival.

Let me guess, you can plow a field all day long and catch catfish from dusk till dawn?

See, I grew up in the suburbs, but when my dad was young he worked fields, killed his dinner, built his own stuff, and he made sure I could do just enough to get by if I needed to.

In elementary school, people were convinced I had a full time job... but really my dad just put me to work most days after school. Endless yard work. Changing tires, oil, and brakes. Cutting boards with power saws only came after a lot of practice with hand saws. Helped re-shingle the garage. Soldering and rewiring simple electronics. Spooling fishing reels. Shooting clothespins off the line with a pellet rifle from 25 feet or so (it doesn't sound hard, but it those pins are tiny)... all before age 10.

Maybe I can't do any of those things exceptionally well, but at least I know enough to fight my way through them if I need to. And well enough that I can trust my own work.

Ow My Balls: Egalitarian: How the hell did Tennille get her hair to look like a big shiny plastic helmet?

LOL!

And that's cool to know, Nancy's Meat Puppet. Even though The Captain & Tenille's music isn't aimed for my demographic, I do keep a mental list of celebrities who are also nice.

/Would've hit that in 1975
//If I weren't 2-years-old, of course...

I haven't talked to her in about two years, but the last time I talked to her, her husband "The Captain' Darrel Dragon was really having serious problems with his eyesight. Very nice people though. Not snotty.

Kudos to the subby for the memory.... for those who have forgotten, here are the lyrics:

Muskrat Suzie, Muskrat Sam
Do the jitterbug out in Muskrat Land
And they shimmy... Sam is so skinny

And they whirl and they twirl and they tango
Singing and jinging a jango
Floating like the heavens above
Looks like Muskrat Love

Nibbling on bacon, chewing on cheese
Sam says to Suzie, Honey, would you please be my Mrs.
Suzie says yes with her kisses
Now he's tickling her fancy, rubbing her toes
Muzzle to muzzle, now, anything goes as they wriggle,
Sue starts to giggle

libbynomore2: let lone wanting steak or chicken and having no idea where it actually comes from?

What is this mysterious "chicken" you speak of? And "steak"? That comes from fish, right?

retard.

RainDawg: What is this mysterious "chicken" you speak of? And "steak"? That comes from fish, right?
retard.

I once knew a kid that didn't know his breakfast eggs came from chicken. He also didn't know that they were meant for reproduction.

I think what libbynomore2 meant was that many people don't know how their food goes from happy animals to seasoned, grilled, and on a plate. And I know for a fact that a lot of people can't watch the process without getting squeamish.

Quick, without checking any webpages, how do you turn a chicken in your yard in to fried chicken? Answer without leaving out any steps.

Steaks don't just appear in nature pre-cut or pre-wrapped.

RainDawg 2008-03-02 12:04:30 PM
libbynomore2: let lone wanting steak or chicken and having no idea where it actually comes from?

What is this mysterious "chicken" you speak of? And "steak"? That comes from fish, right?

retard.


So I suppose you could kill a steer or chop a chickens head of and then pluck or skin ?

I suppose watching you try to do either would prove that it is YOU who is the retard who would starve to death. Darwin wins, you lose. Do you even know that food does NOT come from the local grocery store?

See, the point is that people like you or others who look down your noses at the lives, history and traditions of people who live in fly over country would die without them. I almost wish some of you were forced to find out how much more important they are than you.

"Captain & Tennille too shocked to comment."


moar funny pictures

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is the Eastern Shore in a nutshell.

/have skinned small animals
//never muskrat

Hamster Love, parody of Muskrat Love, and somehow very appropriate for this article:

Hamster, hamster by candle light.
Do it in a casserole is doing it right.
When they're in season, they're pretty pleasin'.
Hamster sandwich, hamster and cheese.
Hamster sandwiches with mayoneeze,
are delicious, and so nutritious.

You can dice, you can slice and fillet them.
Cut off their heads and sauté them.
And into the oven you shove,
smells like hamster love.

Hamster curry, or pickled toes,
Australian hamster tails, any good chef knows
how to make them, or just shake and bake them.
For breakfast, for lunch or while dining,
as a snack munch their deep-fried fur lining.
Into your mouth with a shove,
tastes like hamster love.

I don't care whether or not that's a euphemism. This chick can skin my muskrat any day- if you know what I mean...

ah, I suspected AquaNet.

Anybody check out Captain & Tennille videos on YouTube? There's some weird flamewars in the comment sections. It boggles my mind that people would threaten each other over C&T.

HumbertoEcho: Kudos to the subby for the memory.... for those who have forgotten, here are the lyrics:

Muskrat Suzie, Muskrat Sam
Do the jitterbug out in Muskrat Land
And they shimmy... Sam is so skinny

And they whirl and they twirl and they tango
Singing and jinging a jango
Floating like the heavens above
Looks like Muskrat Love

Nibbling on bacon, chewing on cheese
Sam says to Suzie, Honey, would you please be my Mrs.
Suzie says yes with her kisses
Now he's tickling her fancy, rubbing her toes
Muzzle to muzzle, now, anything goes as they wriggle,
Sue starts to giggle

I'm not big on references like this on Fark, but I did come her just for your post.

...
I guess I didn't need to post the whole thing over again.

libbynomore2:
I suppose watching you try to do either would prove that it is YOU who is the retard who would starve to death. Darwin wins, you lose. Do you even know that food does NOT come from the local grocery store?

I doubt many people here could even harvest and store cutsey lovey-dovey no-feelings vegetables properly for long term.

'Pickling? Preserving? Cold-storage? Drying and curing? What's that?
You mean I have to make ALL these carrots and onions from October last until spring without chemicals? WTF? How. Is. That. Even. Possible.

Is that, like, you know, something you have to do with the stove and a pot? Because frankly, I buy my lunches frozen, wrapped in plastic. My vegetables come pre-washed, cut up, mixed in a bag, and I'm so farking useless I buy pre-cooked bacon and chicken (though I use the pretense of 'convenience').
'

ThatGuyOverThere:
Quick, without checking any webpages, how do you turn a chicken in your yard in to fried chicken? Answer without leaving out any steps.


1. Feed mushrooms to chicken
2. ?????
3. Profit!

/Oh. Uh. . .

Muskrats and animals, such as, like, people don't have muskrats, like the Iraq and Africa.

ThatGuyOverThere:
Quick, without checking any webpages, how do you turn a chicken in your yard in to fried chicken? Answer without leaving out any steps.

Excen:
1. Feed mushrooms to chicken
2. ?????
3. Profit!
/Oh. Uh. . .

I was actually waiting for him to say something like "kill the chiken and then fry it" so I could remind him that he forgot to remove the guts and feathers. Fried chicken isn't so good with the feathers still on.
Also, I was waiting for him to say "well of course I would have removed the feathers" so that I could tell him that he forgot to dip it in a pot of boiling water to make the feathers actually come off right.


It's the details...

ThatGuyOverThere: ThatGuyOverThere:
Quick, without checking any webpages, how do you turn a chicken in your yard in to fried chicken? Answer without leaving out any steps.

Well I have done that, but grew up semi-rural so I don't know if I count. Although it wasn't until my chicken slaughtering days were done that I found out about the two best ways to do it.

1. Tuck their head under a wing or put a cloth over them. Chickens are stupid - like most birds - and when it's dark out they think it's nighttime and go to sleep.

2. Force open their beak and shove a small knife directly into their brain through the back of their throat.

3. Bind their feet first with zip-ties or something.

Number 3 is probably the easiest but all are supposed to make it so you don't end up with a headless terrified chicken running around your yard and spurting blood everywhere.

For real fun sit in on an FFA class where migrant workers are castrating pigs with their teeth. I know one guy who made quite a bit of money when he bet his entire class that he could do it.

There's also the killing of rabbits which will really freak a lot of folks out. Make sure your knife is very sharp or the rabbit will start screaming.

Oh and to remove the feathers just dip the chicken into a pot of boiling water. That or you can skin them, also you'll need pliers to remove the pin-feathers on the wings.

/So happy I don't have to do all this and can just go to the supermarket to get food.

Muskrat sally, you better slow your muskrat down.

Fluffball: There's also the killing of rabbits which will really freak a lot of folks out. Make sure your knife is very sharp or the rabbit will start screaming.

My mom has a chihuahua that catches rabbits much bigger than itself.

The horrible screaming those poor things make can be heard from a long long way away. It's pretty hard to listen to.

As for pig castrating, I met a girl from a school 20 minutes or so away... that girl loved castrating things. Cute little redhead too... too bad she was a psycho.

Fluffball:
Well I have done that, but grew up semi-rural so I don't know if I count. Although it wasn't until my chicken slaughtering days were done that I found out about the two best ways to do it.
...

I grew up semi-rural too.

1) Be stealthy, and grab by the neck first. Holding it as such will show it who's boss.
2) Then grab and hold by the ankles instead, upside down.
3) Give 'er a snap to lay it out straight on a block (it's all in the wrist-action... something you farkers should have a lot of experience with).
4) Use ax. Be prepared for blinking chicken heads.

//would rather not do it herself
//but chicken yummy

ThatGuyOverThere: libbynomore2: Don't get me wrong, I don't think starvation is funny but it would be a bit poetic for those types of people, who constanly look down their noses at people who they depend on to provide for them their daily bread to be forced to recognize their utter incompitence and inability to provide for their basic survival.

Let me guess, you can plow a field all day long and catch catfish from dusk till dawn?

See, I grew up in the suburbs, but when my dad was young he worked fields, killed his dinner, built his own stuff, and he made sure I could do just enough to get by if I needed to.

In elementary school, people were convinced I had a full time job... but really my dad just put me to work most days after school. Endless yard work. Changing tires, oil, and brakes. Cutting boards with power saws only came after a lot of practice with hand saws. Helped re-shingle the garage. Soldering and rewiring simple electronics. Spooling fishing reels. Shooting clothespins off the line with a pellet rifle from 25 feet or so (it doesn't sound hard, but it those pins are tiny)... all before age 10.

Maybe I can't do any of those things exceptionally well, but at least I know enough to fight my way through them if I need to. And well enough that I can trust my own work.

Your father was/is a good man.

If the average person was trained to at least do these things, we, as a society, would be much better off. Less city retards(citiots) trying to pass laws to hurt those of us who actually provide their food and clothing.