Doesn't stop Abe Vigoda.

Nice, subby.

Subby, you're a couple of weeks early for a Caesar stabbin' thread.

Francisco Franco is, also, still dead.

So basically, in most cases of head shot, even if they can save you, you get to be a vegetable? No thanks.

I don't know why, but I really like the sort of overly-literal-reading-of-headlines type of joke that subby makes.

Smithers: Oh, Mr. Burns, we'll thaw you out the second they discover the cure for seventeen stab wounds in the back. How're we doing, boys?
Frink: Well, we're up to fifteen!

After describing the circumstances surrounding each famous assassination, Housinger offered his opinion on whether modern medicine could have saved those high-profile victims if the attack had occurred in Billings today.

Could he answer if the attacks had occurred in Chicago? New York?

Complicit: Nice, subby.

This.

strangeguitar: Francisco Franco is, also, still dead.

Well played.

MickeyD: strangeguitar: Francisco Franco is, also, still dead.

Well played.

Well played indeed.

/You win an internet.

madmann: Doesn't stop Abe Vigoda.

Et tu, Brute?

"Beware the Ides of March, 2008"

Kome: Smithers: Oh, Mr. Burns, we'll thaw you out the second they discover the cure for seventeen stab wounds in the back. How're we doing, boys?
Frink: Well, we're up to fifteen!

This.

What I came to post.

must be a slow news day in montana

After a thoreau reading of that article, I have concluded that modern assassins are rather determined, and tend to make their targets quite dead.
Unlike those old-timey assassins.

Also, apparently America is more like Rome than I thought.

Is Anna Nicole still dead?

Cafferty (new window)

R.J. Fletcher: This is an embarrassment. A disgrace. What do you think R.J. Fletcher Senior would be saying if he were alive today?

Richard Fletcher: "Help me out of this box, I can't breathe in here. Help, let me out."

Would they have been able to save Michael Hutchence or Anna Nicole Smith's boobies?

Ceaser was a poser

bicentennialman: After a thoreau reading of that article

You read it at Walden Pond?

Wow. This doctor is obviously against socialized medicine. I mean, just because Caesar wasn't in the United States doesn't mean we should just automatically assume that private medicine is the best choice.

That's what this is about, right?

mypalmike: bicentennialman: After a thoreau reading of that article

You read it at Walden Pond?

I read it while my mother did my laundry.

That was a pretty interesting read.

Ancient History Sourcebook:
Plutarch: The Assassination of Julius Caesar, from Marcus Brutus (excerpts)

Translated by John Dryden

From this time they tried the inclinations of all their acquaintances that they durst trust, and communicated the secret to them, and took into the design not only their familiar friends, but as many as they believed bold and brave and despisers of death. For which reason they concealed the plot from Cicero, though he was very much trusted and as well beloved by them all, lest, to his own disposition, which was naturally timorous, adding now the weariness and caution of old age, by his weighing, as he would do, every particular, that he might not make one step without the greatest security, he should blunt the edge of their forwardness and resolution in a business which required all the despatch imaginable. As indeed there were also two others that were companions of Brutus, Statilius the Epicurean, and Favonius the admirer of Cato, whom he left out for this reason: as he was conversing one day with them, trying them at a distance, and proposing some such question to be disputed of as among philosophers, to see what opinion they were of, Favonius declared his judgment to be that a civil war was worse than the most illegal monarchy; and Statilius held, that to bring himself into troubles and danger upon the account of evil or foolish men did not become a man that had any wisdom or discretion. But Labeo, who was present, contradicted them both and Brutus, as if it had been an intricate dispute, and difficult to be decided, held his peace for that time, but afterwards discovered the whole design to Labeo, who readily undertook it. The next thing that was thought convenient was to gain the other Brutus surnamed Albinus, a man of himself of no great bravery or courage, but considerable for the number of gladiators that he was maintaining for a public show, and the great confidence that Caesar put in him. When Cassius and Labeo spoke with him concerning the matter, he gave them no answer; but, seeking an interview with Brutus himself alone, and finding that he was their captain, he readily consented to partake in the action. And among the others, also, the most and best were gained by the name of Brutus. And, though they neither gave nor took any oath of secrecy, nor used any other sacred rite to assure their fidelity to each other, yet all kept their design so close, were so wary, and held it so silently among themselves that, though by prophecies and apparitions and signs in the sacrifices the gods gave warning of it, yet could it not be believed.

But a meeting of the senate being appointed, at which it was believed that Caesar would be present, they agreed to make use of that opportunity; for then they might appear all together without suspicion; and, besides, they hoped that all the noblest and leading men of the commonwealth, being then assembled as soon as the great deed was done, would immediately stand forward and assert the common liberty. The very place too where the senate was to meet seemed to be by divine appointment favourable to their purpose. It was a portico, one of those joining the theatre, with a large recess, in which there stood a statue of Pompey, erected to him by the commonwealth, when he adorned that part of the city with the porticos and the theatre. To this place it was that the senate was summoned for the middle of March (the Ides of March is the Roman name for the day); as if some more than human power were leading the man thither, there to meet his punishment for the death of Pompey.

As soon as it was day, Brutus, taking with him a dagger, which none but his wife knew of, went out. The rest met together at Cassiuss house, and brought forth his son that was that day to put on the manly gown, as it is called, into the forum; and from thence, going all to Pompeys porch, stayed there, expecting Caesar to come without delay to the senate. Here it was chiefly that any one who had known what they had purposed, would have admired the unconcerned temper and the steady resolution of these men in their most dangerous undertaking; for many of them, being praetors, and called upon by their office to judge and determine causes, did not only hear calmly all that made application to them and pled against each other before them, as if they were free from all other thoughts, but decided causes with as much accuracy and judgment as they had heard them with attention and patience. And when one person refused to stand to the award of Brutus, and with great clamour and many attestations appealed to Caesar, Brutus, looking round about him upon those that were present, said, "Caesar does not hinder me, nor will he hinder me, from doing according to the laws."...

For now news was brought that Caesar was coming, carried in a litter. For, being discouraged by the ill-omens that attended his sacrifice, he had determined to undertake no affairs of any great importance that day, but to defer them till another time, excusing himself that he was sick. As soon as he came out of his litter, Popilius Laenas, he who but a little before had wished Brutus good success in his undertaking, coming up to him, conversed a great while with him, Caesar standing still all the while, and seeming to be very attentive. The conspirators (to give them this name), not being able to hear what he said, but guessing by what themselves were conscious of that this conference was the discovery of their treason, were again disheartened, and, looking upon one another, agreed from each others countenances that they should not stay to be taken, but should all kill themselves. And now when Cassius and some others were laying hands upon their daggers under their robes, and were drawing them out, Brutus, viewing narrowly the looks and gesture of Laenas, and finding that he was earnestly petitioning and not accusing, said nothing, because there were many strangers to the conspiracy mingled amongst them: but by a cheerful countenance encouraged Cassius. And after a little while, Laenas, having kissed Caesars hand, went away, showing plainly that all his discourse was about some particular business relating to himself.

Now when the senate was gone in before to the chamber where they were to sit, the rest of the company placed themselves close about Caesars chair, as if they had some suit to make to him, and Cassius, turning his face to Pompeys statue, is said to have invoked it, as if it had been sensible of his prayers. Trebonius, in the meanwhile, engaged Antonys attention at the door, and kept him in talk outside. When Caesar entered, the whole senate rose up to him. As soon as he was sat down, the men all crowded round about him, and set Tillius Cimber, one of their own number, to intercede in behalf of his brother that was banished; they all joined their prayers with his, and took Caesar by the hand, and kissed his head and his breast. But he putting aside at first their supplications, and afterwards, when he saw they would not desist, violently rising up, Tillius with both hands caught hold of his robe and pulled it off from his shoulders, and Casca, that stood behind him, drawing his dagger, gave him the first, but a slight wound, about the shoulder. Caesar snatching hold of the handle of the dagger, and crying out aloud in Latin, "Villain Casca, what do you?" he, calling in Greek to his brother, bade him come and help. And by this time, finding himself struck by a great many hands, and looking around about him to see if he could force his way out, when he saw Brutus with his dagger drawn against him, he let go Cascas hand, that he had hold of and covering his head with his robe, gave up his body to their blows. And they so eagerly pressed towards the body, and so many daggers were hacking together, that they cut one another; Brutus, particularly, received a wound in his hand, and all of them were besmeared with the blood.

Caesar being thus slain, Brutus, stepping forth into the midst, intended to have made a speech, and called back and encouraged the senators to stay; but they all affrighted ran away in great disorder, and there was a great confusion and press at the door, though none pursued or followed. For they had come to an express resolution to kill nobody beside Caesar, but to call and invite all the rest to liberty. It was indeed the opinion of all the others, when they consulted about the execution of their design, that it was necessary to cut off Antony with Caesar, looking upon him as an insolent man, an affecter of monarchy, and one that, by his familiar intercourse, had gained a powerful interest with the soldiers. And this they urged the rather, because at that time to the natural loftiness and ambition of his temper there was added the dignity of being counsel and colleague to Caesar. But Brutus opposed this consul, insisting first upon the injustice of it, and afterwards giving them hopes that a change might be worked in Antony. For he did not despair but that so highly gifted and honourable a man, and such a lover of glory as Antony, stirred up with emulation of their great attempt, might, if Caesar were once removed, lay hold of the occasion to be joint restorer with them of the liberty of his country. Thus did Brutus save Antony's life.

That's enough! All of you, pool your money and send me a new keyboard.

/you too, subby
//ow, it hurts when water comes out my nose

palad, I read all of what you wrote. By all of what you wrote, I mean none of it. If I wanted to read something scientific, I'd go get an Entertainment Weekly!

bicentennialman: mypalmike: bicentennialman: After a thoreau reading of that article

You read it at Walden Pond?

I read it while my mother did my laundry.

These threads tend to fill up with tired monty python jokes and bad latin. I figured some real historical material was in order.

Is this the same doctor who discovered that if you took all of a man's veins and arteries and laid them end to end...that man would be dead?

fark'emfeed'emfish: bicentennialman: mypalmike: bicentennialman: After a thoreau reading of that article

You read it at Walden Pond?

I read it while my mother did my laundry.

Are you saying my comment went over your head?

I'm a Roman dictator and I'm getting a kick out of- OW! Hey, stop that! OW! HELP!

palad: Ancient History Sourcebook: My pointless text

That was a good post. Make it your last.

palad:

Sorry friend, I'm here to vomit an uneducated opinion, and post like that is like asking me to read to the article.

As for the article: Bullshiat! He was framed.

bonehead800: So, um. I dunno where else to post this, and this is the top thread on the main page at the moment...

Someone just gave me a month of TF. I don't want it. Who do I contact to make it go away / give the person their money back? Any ideas? Is there a mechanism in place for this?

Why don't you want it?

bonehead800: So, um. I dunno where else to post this, and this is the top thread on the main page at the moment...

Someone just gave me a month of TF. I don't want it. Who do I contact to make it go away / give the person their money back? Any ideas? Is there a mechanism in place for this?

EIP. Just send me your credit card number and I'll take my money back

/don't actually do that
//unless you don't care about me taking more then $5. In which case, by all means . . .

tonesskin:
Why don't you want it?

I have no need for it. The things available to liters entertain me plenty, and I don't need any more than that. I don't want someone wasting their 5$ on me when I'm not going to get anything out of it other than this strange sense of superiority/entitlement that just cropped up a few minutes ago...

Shortest version: I wouldn't spend the money for it, I don't want anyone else spending the money for it on my behalf.

bicentennialman: mypalmike: bicentennialman: After a thoreau reading of that article

You read it at Walden Pond?

I read it while my mother did my laundry.

Well played, sir.

bonehead800: I don't need any more than that

Do you ever to photoshop contests? It gives you an early start...

bonehead800: I have no need for it. The things available to liters entertain me plenty, and I don't need any more than that. I don't want someone wasting their 5$ on me when I'm not going to get anything out of it other than this strange sense of superiority/entitlement that just cropped up a few minutes ago...

Any time I get sponsored I submit a thread about how awesome I am. The link is to a pic of my balls and the DIT is "kiss them. They are better then you"

I'm just saying TF can be a lot of fun, if you use it right.

bonehead800: tonesskin:
Why don't you want it?

I have no need for it. The things available to liters entertain me plenty, and I don't need any more than that. I don't want someone wasting their 5$ on me when I'm not going to get anything out of it other than this strange sense of superiority/entitlement that just cropped up a few minutes ago...

Shortest version: I wouldn't spend the money for it, I don't want anyone else spending the money for it on my behalf.

Wow, how grateful. I'm sure whoever decided to do something nice for you feels all warm and fuzzy for having done so. I'm more than curious to see if the point where people decide to stop doing nice things for you is the next time someone decides to apply their brakes when you're using the crosswalk at a busy intersection.

Dont want Fark- just post tubgurl and gootse in every thread

unicron702:
Wow, how grateful. I'm sure whoever decided to do something nice for you feels all warm and fuzzy for having done so.

I appreciate the gesture. However, since I will get nothing out of it, I don't want the person who was nice to me to be wasting their money. What's wrong with that?

/has this same argument with parents yearly at Christmas
//Why is "don't farking buy me anything, save your money, I'm fine and happy" so damn difficult to understand...

bonehead800: unicron702:
Wow, how grateful. I'm sure whoever decided to do something nice for you feels all warm and fuzzy for having done so.

I appreciate the gesture. However, since I will get nothing out of it, I don't want the person who was nice to me to be wasting their money. What's wrong with that?

/has this same argument with parents yearly at Christmas
//Why is "don't farking buy me anything, save your money, I'm fine and happy" so damn difficult to understand...

Some people just like to do nice things. You can't really give it back (I don't think they have refunds). Might as well enjoy it/see how it differs from regular Fark. Someone out their decided you might get some use out of it, should see if that's true.

bonehead800: So, um. I dunno where else to post this, and this is the top thread on the main page at the moment...


Someone just gave me a month of TF. I don't want it. Who do I contact to make it go away / give the person their money back? Any ideas? Is there a mechanism in place for this?

I was gifted with it twice, and had absolutely no idea what to do with it. I don't even know how to log in or whatever it is you need to do. They bought me a membership, but didn't tell me the secret handshake.

I felt bad. Two people, nice enough to spend 5 dollars each, didn't accomplish anything with their expenditure. I asked in a couple of threads 'what to do' but nobody answered. :(

bonehead800: tonesskin:
Why don't you want it?


I have no need for it. The things available to liters entertain me plenty, and I don't need any more than that. I don't want someone wasting their 5$ on me when I'm not going to get anything out of it other than this strange sense of superiority/entitlement that just cropped up a few minutes ago...


Shortest version: I wouldn't spend the money for it, I don't want anyone else spending the money for it on my behalf.

Try graciously accepting the kind gesture then IMMEDIATELY update your profile to let others know that you don't want TF gifted to you.

It's called tact. It works. Try it.

bonehead800:

I've gotten it twice and both times was told who it was. If your intention is to "return it because you don't want them to "waste" their money" then just sponsor them. Hell, you know they must like TF.

FTFA: "If someone had shot him on the operating table, we couldn't have saved him,"

Huh?

ABQGOD: FTFA: "If someone had shot him on the operating table, we couldn't have saved him,"

Huh?

Don't get shot on the operating table.

I think you'll find that it's pretty good advice.