tastes like chicken?

Friends for Dinner

Land Before Time FTW!!!

Sometimes life is a parody of itself.

shouldn't it be "cannibals jailed for having an old friend for dinner"? especially given ennuipoet's pic...

Long Pork, the other, other white meat

Best comic bit on canibalism ever!

Link (new window)

I read that as "A group of cannabis jailed for inviting friend to dinner"

"The monsters told cops: "We had nothing against him personally - we just wanted to see what human meat tasted like."

Well?

Was if good or bad?

According TFA, they were all sentenced to "3 years to life".

Wow.

You could EAT somebody and conceivably be out before that big Mayan end of the World Party in 2012?

Good to know.

madmann: According TFA, they were all sentenced to "3 years to life".

Wow.

You could EAT somebody and conceivably be out before that big Mayan end of the World Party in 2012?

Good to know.

/Facepalm

He had a tender heart.

Asks: Was there orange soda involved?

Did the sick tag call in sick today?

Because it's on the intertubes it's true.

We need a WTF tag.

This story really bothered me. I just thought the cannibals were so rude. They were the victim's guests. I just think that is messed up. They cooked him in HIS kitchen. That's just rude.

All I'm saying is that if they wanted to eat him they should have invited him over and done the cooking in thier own kitchen.

it was as if an Occult Hand had tortured them into wanting to eat human.
/I hear testicles are an afrodisiac

bet they were fine.......and young...

This doesn't surprise me that it happened in the nanny-state. If this happened in America, the only outrage would have been over the cannibals drinking vodka instead of beer.

Wow, guess he had a pretty poor choice of friends. Granted, there have been situations where this was acceptable, but cooking your buddy just to see what it tastes like? I wonder how they will be treated in (Russian?) prison...

/once read a book involving starving WWII Pacific (Japanese) soldiers dealing with this issue
//the other other other white meat
///seems to recall that this was acceptable practice if stranded at sea and there were no other options

I think there's more to the story then what is told. Four friends who just happen to want to taste human flesh are together at the victims house? They then decide then and there to kill and eat him?

Who actually did the killing? Was it one person and the others just facilitated the murder or was it a "take one swing and pass the hammer around" group killing?

iT'S more likely true when it's local...

Link (new window)

the ha ha guy: This doesn't surprise me that it happened in the nanny-state. If this happened in America, the only outrage would have been over the cannibals drinking vodka instead of beer.

Since when is Ukraine the nanny state?

I find no corroborating evidence of the original story, after a quick news search.

"we can't bury him like that..."

/just eat it

They should put em all in the same cell and not feed them.

a little more info:

Link

Frog legs: Tastes like chicken.
Alligator: Tastes like chicken.
Tofu can: Tastes like chicken.
Humans supposedly: Tastes like chicken.

Thats funny, everything tastes like us.

That was sick. If you have to find out how humans taste go find a stranger. Never eat someone you know.

davynelson: I find no corroborating evidence of the original story, after a quick news search.

Frog News reports: you decide.


... Frog news?

Oh, well there's your corroborating evidence.

I could have sworn that story reeked of BS.

Ateam: a little more info:

Link

For the win

davynelson: I find no corroborating evidence of the original story, after a quick news search.


For the fail

If all they wanted was to know what it tastes like, wouldn't an arm or leg have sufficed?

/ Window seat

Why would you eat somebody? You don't know if they have HIV or something equally icky.

They must have been pretty hammered.


So to speak.

SharpieFiend: Since when is Ukraine the nanny state?

Anywhere outside of America = nanny state.

The mere fact that Ukraine dictates what meals may and may not be eaten is proof of that fact.

davynelson: Oh, well there's your corroborating evidence.

I could have sworn that story reeked of BS.

It still does, to me. I could be wrong, though.

Humans taste like pork, not like chicken.

skinink: One of the funniest movies about cannibalism still not on DVD: Parents.

Seconded. Saw it when it first played. Can't understand why it doesn't have a larger following.

Makes me think about the cannibal who passed his best friend in the street....

It's the Daily Record, folks. Pure fiction.

Amateurs...

Uhm... Buillshiat?

FTA: They were sentenced to between three years and life in prison.

that gives the judge some flexibility in sentencing I guess

GearishFear: Humans taste like pork, not like chicken.

Uh, just wondering how you know this.

Two cannibals are eating dinner. First cannibal says, "You know, I hate my mother-in-law." Second cannibal says, "Well, just eat the noodles."

/Thank you... I'll be here all week.

Wouldnt this have been eaiser, less messy, and legal????
Not to mention that you would have spared a perfectly good hammer.
Link (new window)

And to get them all out of the way........................

Why won't cannibals eat divorced women?
They're very bitter.

Why do cannibals prefer eating readers to writers?
Because writers cramp but readers digest.

What did the cannibal do after he had dumped his girlfriend?
Wiped his ass.

Did you hear about the cannibal who passed his uncle in the woods?

Two cannibals just finished a big meal and one turns to the other while rubbing his stomach with his fist and say, "You know, I just ate my mother-in-law, and she still doesn't agree with me!"

What's the definition of Trust?
Two cannibals giving each other a blowjob.

Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other, "Does this taste funny to you?"

When do cannibals leave the table?
When everyone's eaten.

The first cannibal asked the 2nd cannibal, "Aren't you done eating yet?" The 2nd cannibal replied, "I'm on my last leg now."

Did you hear about the cannibal who loved fast food?
He ordered a pizza with everybody on it.

One cannibal to another: I never met a man I didn't like!

What is a cannibal's favorite type of TV show?
A celebrity roast.

Have you heard about the cannibal restaurant?
Dinner costs an arm and a leg.

Where do cannibals shop for fine furniture?
Eatin' Allen's.

What do cannibals eat for dessert?
Chocolate covered aunts.

What is a cannibal's favorite game?
Swallow the leader.

What do cannibals make out of politicians?
Bologna sandwiches.

What did the cannibal get when he was late for dinner?
The cold shoulder.

A man gets captured by cannibals and every day they poke him with spears and use his blood to wash down their food. Finally the guy calls the chief over and says, "You can kill me or you can eat me, but I'm tired of getting stuck for drinks."

Did you hear about the cannibal who was expelled from school for buttering up his teacher?

Two cannibals were sitting by a fire. The first says, "Gee, I hate my mother-in-law." The 2nd replies, "So, try the potatoes.

Cannibal's recipe book: How to Serve Your Fellow Man.


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A cannibal visited his neighbor to admire his new refrigerator. "What is the storage capacity?" the man asked.

"I'm not exactly sure," the neighbor replied. "But it at least holds the two men that brought it."


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A tourist goes to Africa and asks his tourist guide while walking in the jungle, "Are we safe here? Aren't there cannibals around here?"

And the tourist guide says, "Yes. You can be sure there is no cannibals in Africa."

And the tourist says, "But there may be still some cannibals."

And the tourist guide says, "No, rest assured. We ate the last one last Monday."


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Two cannibals meet one day. The first cannibal says, "You know, I just can't seem to get a tender Missionary. I've baked them, I've roasted them, I've stewed them, I've barbecued them, I've tried every sort of marinade. I just can't seem to get them tender."

The second cannibal asks, "What kind of Missionary do you use?"

The other replied, "You know, the ones that hang out at that place at the bend of the river. They have those brown cloaks with a rope around the waist and they're sort of bald on top with a funny ring of hair on their heads."

"Ah, ha!" the second cannibal replies. "No wonder ... those are FRIARS!"


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Two cannibals, a father and son, were elected by the tribe to go out and get something to eat. They walked deep into the jungle and waited by a path. Before long, along came this little old man. The son said, "Oh dad, there's one."

"No," said the father. "There's not enough meat on that one to even feed the dogs. We'll just wait."

Well, a little while later, along came this really fat man. The son said, "Hey dad, he's plenty big enough."

"No," the father said. "We'd all die of a heart attack from the fat in that one. We'll just wait."

About an hour later, here comes this absolutely gorgeous woman. The son said, "Now there's nothing wrong with that one dad. Let's eat her."

"No," said the father. "We'll not eat her either."

"Why not?" asked the son.

"Because, we're going to take her back alive and eat your mother."


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An airplane full of a shipment of Pepsi flying over Africa had a malfunction, and went down. A few weeks later, the Pepsi Company sent a rescue plane. They searched the area and found a tribe of cannibals.

They walked up to the Chief of the tribe and asked him if he knew anything about the crash.

The Chief said, "You betcha!"

When asked where the crew was, the Chief replied, "We ate the crew, and we drank the Pepsi."

The Rescue crew were shocked. One man asked, "Did you eat their legs?"

The chief replied, "We ate their legs, and we drank the Pepsi."

Another rescuer asked, "Did you eat their arms?"

The Chief replied, "We ate their arms, and we drank the Pepsi."

After looking totally perplexed for a minute, a third asked, "Did you...you know...eat, their...'things'?"

The chief says, "No."

"No?" asked the rescuer.

"No," replied the Chief, "THINGS go better with Coke."


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Two missionaries in Africa were apprehended by a tribe of very hostile cannibals who put them in a large pot of water, build a huge fire under it, and left them there. A few minutes later, one of the missionaries started to laugh uncontrollably.

The other missionary was incredulous, and said, "What's wrong with you? We're being boiled alive! They're going to eat us! What could possibly be funny at a time like this?"

The laughing missionary said, "I just peed in their soup!"


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At the site, one lone survivor sat with his back against a tree, chewing on a bone. As he tossed the bone onto a huge pile of there bones, he noticed the rescue team. "Thank God", he cried out in relief. "I am saved!"

The rescue team did not move, as they were in shock, seeing the pile of human bones beside this lone survivor. Obviously he had eaten his comrades. The survivor saw the horror in their faces and hung his own head in shame. "You can't judge me for this," he insisted. "I had to survive. Is it so wrong to want to live?"

The leader of the rescue team stepped forward, shaking his head in disbelief. "I won't judge you for doing what was necessary to survive, but my God man, your plane only went down yesterday!"


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These two cannibals kill a missionary. They argue for a while about how to divide him up, when finally, one of them says, "Okay. You start at the head and I'll start at the feet."

So they begin their tasty feast. After a while one of them says, "Hey, this is really great. I'm having a ball."

"Slow down!" cries the other cannibal "You're eating too fast!"


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One day a cannibal visited the neighboring island of cannibals. There, people cost $2 but politicians cost $25. The visiting cannibal asked, "How come politicians cost so much?"

The chief answered, "Do you know how hard it is to clean one of those?"


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Two ferocious cannibal chiefs sat licking their fingers after a large meal. "Your wife makes a delicious roast," one chief said.

"Thanks," his friend said, "I'm gonna miss her!"


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An explorer in the deepest Amazon suddenly finds himself surrounded by a blood thirsty group of cannibals. Upon surveying the situation, he says quietly to himself, "Oh God, I'm screwed."

There is a ray of light from the sky above and a voice booms out: "No, you are NOT screwed. Pick up that stone at your feet and bash in the head of the chief standing in front of you."

So the explorer picks up the stone and proceeds to bash the life out of the chief. He stands above the lifeless body, breathing heavily and surrounded by 100 cannibals with a look of shock on their faces.

The voice booms out again: "Okay . . . . NOW you're screwed."


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There were three men who were lost in the forest. They were captured by cannibals. The cannibal king told the prisoners that they could live if they pass the trial. The first step of the trial was to go into the forest and get ten pieces of the same kind of fruit. So all three men went separate ways to gather fruits.

The first one came back and said to the king, "I brought ten apples."

The king then explains the trial to him-you have to shove the fruits up your ass without any expression on your face or you'll be eaten.

The first apple went in...but on the second one he winced in pain, so he was killed and went to heaven.

The second guy arrives with ten berries. When the king explained the trial to him, he thought to himself that this should be easy. 1...2...3...4...5...6...7...8...but on the ninth berry he burst out in laughter, therefore also was killed.

The first guy and the second guy met in heaven. The first one asked, "Why did you laugh, you almost got away with it?"

The second one replied, "I couldn't help it. I saw the third guy coming with pineapples."


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The ambassador of a small African nation chanced to visit Russia, and was entertained by his opposite number, the Russian ambassador. For three days, the African ambassador was wined, dined, and generally treated to the best hospitality that Russia had to offer.

On the final day of his visit, the Russian ambassador said, "As your stay is coming to an end, it is time for you to play our traditional game, Russian roulette. One of the six chambers of this gun is loaded - you spin the cylinder, point the gun at your head, and pull the trigger."

This phased the African slightly, but he was a proud man of a warrior people, and to show fear would be unthinkable. Both men took their guns, spun, and pulled the triggers. CLICK-CLICK Both chambers were empty, and both ambassadors breathed a sigh of relief.

The African ambassador was much impressed with the courageous game, and thought hard about the subject before the Russian Ambassador was due to visit his country the next year.

When the visit came, the African ambassador treated the Russian with all hospitality, until the final day of his stay. Leading him to a private room in the palace, the African ambassador spoke, "Now it is time for you to sample our game, African roulette". So saying, he led the Russian into the room, the only occupants of which were six beautiful, naked women.

The African ambassador said, "These women are the most beautiful members of one of our tribes. Any one of them will give you a blowjob - take your pick."

The Russian was not entirely averse to this idea, but he couldn't see the connection with Russian Roulette. He said, "Well, ok, great, but where's the roulette part? Where's the danger?"

With a big grin on his face, the African ambassador answered: "One of them is a cannibal."