Dora the explorer rectal thermometer is in the works.

WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO...

LIVES IN A COLON THAT'S UNDERNEATH ME?

It's just a digital thermometer... You don't have to use it in the butt.

BigEd: It's just a digital thermometer... You don't have to use it in the butt.

But you can, so says the box.

This is the kind of wacky item that will be really valuable in about fifty years.

If you don't like this, you probably shouldn't check out the Squidward "massager" on the market in Japan.

It's disturbing what spongebob's face looks like on the packaging, for Oral, Underarm, or Rectal Use

Well, you know Spongebob was gay right?

He's playing his skin flute nose on the box. Lovely.

kidsizedcoffin: Dora the explorer

I never got this title. It only rhymes if you are a Kennedy.

It's for when you feel like you have hit Rock Bottom!

At least the probe end isnt square!

Hey, if I'm gonna stick something in my ass when I'm feeling sick, it might as well be Spongebob.

Would have been better if the thermometer was his nose.

Where's the Squidward douche?

USBIA?

Hmmmm..I wonder if given his right-angularity, he poops bricks.

Oh, Fark!

How you've become a redux of boingboing links.

I remember the days when you were fresh and edgy.

Gah! This is a Xeni Jardin link! Not Safe!

I got a case of the crabbie patties after reusing a thermometer.

For use after your Rambo laxative.

Interrupted Infinitum: It's for when you feel like you have hit Rock Bottom!

Instead of playing the Spongebob Theme, the thermometer should say "This is ADVANCED darkness!" upon entry.

This guy watches SpongeBob.

Don't forget this modern classic....

Can someone please post pics of the Hello Kitty rape kit?

Next thing you know they'll come out with Patrick the Starfish suppositories.

How do you tell the difference between an oral and a rectal thermometer?

Anyone notice that the manufacturer is "BD"?
Look for their new "Squidward 8-point Harness" soon.

From the article comments, this one was so full of win:

Who checks the temperature inside your bum?
SpongeBob SquarePants!
Invasive and yellow and probing is he?
SpongeBob SquarePants!
Who's hoping he's lubricated and been warmed?
Spongebob Squarepants!
So drop your shorts and spread your cheeks!
Spongebob Squarepants!
Ready?
Spongebob Squarepants!
Spongebob Squarepants!
Spongebob Squarepants!
Spongebob...... Squarepants!

Christ, does everything have to be licensed or emblazoned with Spongebob or Spiderman? Please parents, just buy the regular beige thermometer. Or the plain toothbrush. Or plain white socks. Your child will turn out much better adjusted.

//get off my lawn

Hagbardr: How do you tell the difference between an oral and a rectal thermometer?

The taste silly.

Is it ever oaky to go ass to mouth?

There's nothing more infuriating that finding out some asshole broke your rectal thermometer.

Remember to take off your bikini before inserting in your bottom.

/arrrh

This is stupid. Everyone knows that SpongeBob should only be made into tampons.

Maybe this should be a clown theme, children are used to clowns putting things into their bottoms.

madmann: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO...

LIVES IN A COLON THAT'S UNDERNEATH ME?

I came in to voice my amusement for the headline but madmann my friend... you elicited a true out-loud laugh.

/salute!

Would you eat a rectal thermometer? Answer me, damn you!

/can't believe I've been able to reference that episode twice on Fark in 6 months

It has a 'bite resistant' shield....

....one would hope, right?

TeddyRooseveltsMustache: Well, you know Spongebob was gay right?

Yep - but what I didn't know was that he had died.

/kinda sad

Is BD the same company that had the Speedy Gonzales Laxatives a few years ago?

NBC turned me down when I wanted to license a Chris Hansen rectal thermometer. Its their loss.

crazynickstyle: This guy watches SpongeBob.

This looks like a giant anus that's been ripped out and about a couple feet of gut came with it. WTF is it supposed to be in the show ?

/This guy doesn't watch SpongeBob

It's better than the Adult Requiem for a Dream Rectal thermometer. That one is only allowed to be used ass to ass!!! Ass to ass!!! (NSFW)

madmann: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO...

LIVES IN A COLON THAT'S UNDERNEATH ME?

OMG. Thread over. You win.


----------------{cut here}----------------

TeddyRooseveltsMustache: Well, you know Spongebob was gay right?

Was? Did they send him somewhere special?

skinink: It's better than the Adult Requiem for a Dream Rectal thermometer. That one is only allowed to be used ass to ass!!! Ass to ass!!! (NSFW)

I know its beautiful, but I didn't take it out for air.

Now you can re-enact Spongebob/Patrick slashfic in the privacy of your own home!

/Okay, technically Patrick is a *pink* starfish...

Spongebob. . .rectal. . .I WANT ONE!!