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(Daily Mail) Amusing The latest thing to offend Muslims: Doritos   (dailymail.co.uk) divider line 326
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klymen [TotalFark] 2008-02-23 10:15:38 PM  
If Doritos had bacon without mentioning it on the label, Orthodox Jews would be the first to complain.


/probably wouldn't burn the factory down though

 
MsInterpreted 2008-02-23 10:16:38 PM  
I can only imagine the 'no alcohol' rule is intended to maintain healthy Muslims. Doritos are not healthy, I don't care who your god is. Sounds fairly hypocritical to me.

 
GAT_00 [TotalFark] 2008-02-23 10:19:09 PM  
For Fark's sake. Ok, you have dietary restrictions. Maybe you should keep tabs of what is in the heavily processed crap that you may be eating. It's not Doritos' fault that you willingly violated your restrictions that you impose upon yourself. If you don't know it is safe, don't eat it.

 
CheddarPants [TotalFark] 2008-02-23 10:19:54 PM  
For some reasons, most of the Subway restaurants near me are Muslim-owned. Why is it that they can't eat pork, but it's OK for them to serve it to others?

 
shanrick [TotalFark] 2008-02-23 10:26:53 PM  
STFU is non-alcoholic.

 
Canadian Canuck [TotalFark] 2008-02-23 10:29:25 PM  
I wonder how strict they are with their definition of alcohol. A form of an alcohol is in pretty much every food has some form of an alcohol.

/chemistry ftw!

 
Pinhedd [TotalFark] 2008-02-23 10:50:18 PM  
Canadian Canuck: I wonder how strict they are with their definition of alcohol. A form of an alcohol is in pretty much every food has some form of an alcohol.

/chemistry ftw!


Most muslims are only against "drunkenness", not against alcohol in particular. Even well (and probably tap) water has minute levels of alcohol in it thanks to fermentation.

Some people need to be more "informed" about their own religous beliefs before they start requesting others to pander to them. However, most people with religous beliefs are idiots.

 
oldebayer [TotalFark] 2008-02-23 10:52:09 PM  
These complainers had better be eating un-yeastified bread.

 
mamoru [TotalFark] 2008-02-23 10:52:51 PM  
WTF? Is there even an all-out ban on alcohol in the Koran?

My understanding (as gained from Moroccans) is that the only direct ban is that a Muslim must NEVER pray while drunk. Then there is a thing that could be (and often is) interpreted as a ban that says one must not put himself into a sinful state of mind, or something along those lines.

AFAIK, nowhere in the Koran does it say, "You must never consume alcohol in any form", does it?

Can someone please clarify?

 
Dallymo [TotalFark] 2008-02-23 10:56:28 PM  
More to the point, why do I not have Sensations Thai Sweet Chilli and Doritos Chilli Heat Wave in my grocery store? I must have them, alcohol or no!

 
BearToy [TotalFark] 2008-02-23 11:10:52 PM  
Some people need to be more "informed" about their own religous beliefs before they start requesting others to pander to them. However, most people with religous beliefs are idiots.

See also : Christians in America. Exact same problem.
Ramen

 
Churchill2004 [TotalFark] 2008-02-23 11:18:05 PM  
klymen: If Doritos had bacon without mentioning it on the label, Orthodox Jews would be the first to complain.


/probably wouldn't burn the factory down though


They actually have a much better system worked out- food producers can voluntarily have their food certified and get a small symbol placed on its packaging. I'm surprised Muslims don't already have something like this. It would certainly make a lot more sense than the absurd "Alcohol Warning" that would just confuse most people.

 
Laoise 2008-02-23 11:32:54 PM  
Churchill2004: It would certainly make a lot more sense than the absurd "Alcohol Warning" that would just confuse most people.

But just think of how much a label like that would increase their sales amongest one of their key demographics! I think Doritos needs to consider the implications throughly...bet it works out for them in the end.

1. Add alcohol label.
2.
3. Profit!

 
klymen [TotalFark] 2008-02-23 11:39:49 PM  
Churchill2004: They actually have a much better system worked out- food producers can voluntarily have their food certified and get a small symbol placed on its packaging. I'm surprised Muslims don't already have something like this. It would certainly make a lot more sense than the absurd "Alcohol Warning" that would just confuse most people.

I agree. That makes much more sense than an "Alcohol Warning" label.

 
muck4doo [TotalFark] 2008-02-24 12:57:26 AM  
BearToy: Some people need to be more "informed" about their own religous beliefs before they start requesting others to pander to them. However, most people with religous beliefs are idiots.

See also : Christians in America. Exact same problem.
Ramen


Crusades! Inquisition! Salem Witch Hunts! Timothy McVeigh! The Unibomber!

/Let's go ahead and get those all out of the way.

 
eddyatwork [TotalFark] 2008-02-24 01:01:26 AM  
Ok that's it. I was tolerant of Islam until now but when they attacked Doritos they crossed the line!

 
muck4doo [TotalFark] 2008-02-24 01:02:45 AM  
"I feel frustrated and angry. I have let my customers down simply because such a big company like Walkers is not sensitive to Muslim needs."

I actually don't blame the Muslims on this one. The panty waist libtards who have encouraged this kind of thinking should look at themselves in the mirror and think hard about the monster they have created.

/I'm not saying all liberals are libtards.
//The ones who are know who they are.

 
sarcastrophe 2008-02-24 01:21:05 AM  
DAMN YOU COLBERT!!!!

 
SilentStrider [TotalFark] 2008-02-24 01:30:16 AM  
i'm eating doritos as i read this so i'm really getting a kick out of all these replies...

 
VIDEOWALLART 2008-02-24 01:54:16 AM  
Woo Hoo So all of them go to hell for eating them now?? Yipee !!

 
Locke3k 2008-02-24 02:21:52 AM  
Canadian Canuck
A form of an alcohol is in pretty much every food has some form of an alcohol.

Redundant statement is redundant.

/matches your login though, so that's cool

 
Kevin5280 2008-02-24 02:47:38 AM  
oldebayer: These complainers had better be eating un-yeastified bread.

I think someone should create a word to better describe bread that is "un-yeastified."

 
Frank N Stein 2008-02-24 03:15:51 AM  
BearToy: Some people need to be more "informed" about their own religous beliefs before they start requesting others to pander to them. However, most people with religous beliefs are idiots.

See also : Christians in America. Exact same problem.
Ramen


b b but CHRISTIANS!!!!!

 
MadSkillz 2008-02-24 03:16:19 AM  
You know what: fark them and their ass-backwards ways.

Humanity FTW.

If they try to push any of that shiat here, I'll be the first one with a picket sign. I'm not a violent person, would never hurt anyone, but I am not scared, and I DO NOT LIVE IN A farkING MUSLIM COUNTRY.

This is Dar-Al-Kuffir, and it's god-damned gonna stay that farking way.

/I think I got that right.. Dar Al Kuffir means "Land of disbelief" right?

 
The Fatal Splinter 2008-02-24 03:16:38 AM  
dammit that's the last straw. nuke everyone of them (we'd do it for worse reasons)

 
lomans 2008-02-24 03:16:42 AM  
Canadian Canuck
-Department Of Redundancy Department.

 
Wulfhardt 2008-02-24 03:17:58 AM  
Even if you never consumed a drop of alcohol in your entire life, your body's own cellular processes will produce minute amounts of it during waste production.

By the logic presented in the article, all Muslims should be required to exit their filthy, booze-soaked bodies immediately, so as not to be unclean in the eyes of Allah.

In other words, PLEASE shut the fark up already and just don't eat the Doritos if you don't want them.

 
Setsuna 2008-02-24 03:18:53 AM  
mamoru: WTF? Is there even an all-out ban on alcohol in the Koran?

AFAIK, nowhere in the Koran does it say, "You must never consume alcohol in any form", does it?

Can someone please clarify?


Actually, It is banned in all its forms. Other than medical usage, no form of alcohol consumption is allowed.

 
LOGICAL_PSYCHO 2008-02-24 03:20:35 AM  
Canadian Canuck: I wonder how strict they are with their definition of alcohol. A form of an alcohol is in pretty much every food has some form of an alcohol.

/chemistry ftw!


Tell the truth.... that sounded better in your head didn't it?

 
Nuclear Monk 2008-02-24 03:21:46 AM  
This is nothing. The draconian Eye for a Cheeto doctrine is much worse.

 
Lordmontu 2008-02-24 03:21:53 AM  
There is a form of alcohol found in lots of different kinds of sweeteners, both natural and artificial.

I guess muslims can't eat even eat natural fruits.

 
gigamortis [recently expired TotalFark] 2008-02-24 03:22:48 AM  
meh, my invisible man can beat up your invisible man and I can eat dorito's.

 
Scifientologist 2008-02-24 03:23:07 AM  
I'm afraid this article is far more relevenat to my interest:

Mmmmm cakes... (I'd pop that)

 
tuna762 [TotalFark] 2008-02-24 03:23:48 AM  
oldebayer: These complainers had better be eating un-yeastified bread.

I think someone should create a word to better describe bread that is "un-yeastified."


"unleavened-made without yeast or sourdough culture"

 
Philogogus 2008-02-24 03:23:56 AM  
Kevin5280

Yes, its called 'unleavened' bread.

 
kilopane 2008-02-24 03:24:05 AM  
I'm wondering... you'll probably ingest more ethyl alcohol by sharing a footpath with someone who recently drank a beer.

I'm also pretty sure that a slightly overripe banana will have more alcohol than any of these Doritos varieties.

 
Onager 2008-02-24 03:25:37 AM  
Dietary laws are extraordinarily stupid. This doesn't even make sense to me in the context of Islam; isn't the whole point of God forbidding consumption of alcohol to prevent the things that INTOXICATION causes? It's not because alcohol itself is evil.

I like to think that all the problems we trace to Islam are in fact simply people being stupid on their own.

LOGICAL_PSYCHO: Canadian Canuck: I wonder how strict they are with their definition of alcohol. A form of an alcohol is in pretty much every food has some form of an alcohol.

/chemistry ftw!

Tell the truth.... that sounded better in your head didn't it?


I think what we have here is a clear case of '3:00 AM' syndrome.

 
NeuroticRocker [recently expired TotalFark] 2008-02-24 03:26:25 AM  
waaaaahhhhh doritos have alcohol waaaaahhhhh obama is going to win waaaahhhhhhhh gas is expensive waaaahhhhh zac effron is gay waaaaahhhhhhh vista sucks waaaahhhhhhh

 
Beowulfenstein 2008-02-24 03:26:42 AM  
I'm more offended by the fact they spelled "chili" wrong.

/likely being an ignorant American
//don't much care

 
Bagelox-99 2008-02-24 03:26:53 AM  
kilopane

Surely you mean footbath? Muslims aren't religiously obligated to walk trails.

 
JerkyMeat 2008-02-24 03:28:04 AM  
...if the population were really to have the freedom to enjoy alcohol, the entire region would become one huge festering circle jerk of homosexual activity.
They know it, so they deny and embrace Islam to hide.

 
sylos 2008-02-24 03:28:43 AM  
So when do they start killing themselves to get rid of the alcohol in their body? I'm getting sick of the "ZOMG. They b' hatin!Tryin to catch us ridin' dirteee!!!"

 
JQPublic [TotalFark] 2008-02-24 03:28:53 AM  
Consuming Bacon, Doritos, and beer: BAD!
Murdering people fer yer relijun: GOOD!



/get a brain Korans.

 
Setsuna 2008-02-24 03:30:28 AM  
Wulfhardt: Even if you never consumed a drop of alcohol in your entire life, your body's own cellular processes will produce minute amounts of it during waste production.

By the logic presented in the article, all Muslims should be required to exit their filthy, booze-soaked bodies immediately, so as not to be unclean in the eyes of Allah.

In other words, PLEASE shut the fark up already and just don't eat the Doritos if you don't want them.


I agree with your logic. However, the issue of alcohol consumption is not that simple in Islam.

Islam has a system of prohibitions based mainly on your "intentions". If you intend to get drunk from alcohol, then no, you are not allowed to consume it. However, if the intent behind it is to clean wounds or make bread, i.e. yeast, then it's fine.

I know it sounds confusing, but it isn't as simple as "All forms of alcohol are banned no matter what".

/That being said, the specific group who are protesting alcohol in Doritos are a bunch of idiots.

 
Scifientologist 2008-02-24 03:30:29 AM  
I'm afraid this article is far more relevenat to my interest:

Mmmmm cakes... (I'd pop that)


Hmmm...errrr...RELEVANT too...

/I blame my keyboard, it's antisocial...

 
Aarontology [TotalFark] 2008-02-24 03:30:51 AM  
Nuclear Monk: This is nothing. The draconian Eye for a Cheeto doctrine is much worse.

"An Eye for a Cheeto will leave the whole world cheesy"
~Gandhi

 
punto 2008-02-24 03:31:01 AM  
Did they find one shaped like Mohamed? We've had so many Jesus shaped fries, it was about time for the Dorito...

 
nero_design 2008-02-24 03:31:14 AM  
www.pbase.com

IDIOTS

The Koran only prohibits Alcohol made from Fermented Fruit and Grains.

The Jihadis can drink all the MEAD they want (it's made from Fermented Honey)

Nice Double Standard you have there, Dorito muchers.

 
Counter_Intelligent 2008-02-24 03:31:20 AM  
Churchill2004: They actually have a much better system worked out- food producers can voluntarily have their food certified and get a small symbol placed on its packaging.

Sounds expensive.

 
Maaaatlock 2008-02-24 03:31:48 AM  
Instead of criticizing muslims, I suggest we go after these terrorists that insist on using words like "crisps" and packets" when describing doritos.

/We won the war, screw the queens english
//Lighten up folks, I've had 100 degree fever the past few days and still a bit loopy
///3Horn

 
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