Unavailable for comment.

I would have went with Obvious tag... Obviously.

too obvious for obvious tag

Darwin was robbed again!!!

/Monica Lewenski's ex-boyfriend's wife approved of this message

wow, those cops are really on top of things!

Drunken man only slightly injured after being run over by a train; is there nothing alcohol can't do?

/Must have been drinking Super Sauce

I gotta try this!!!

© I'll prolly get smashed like a penny, nice knowing ya'all

Methinks SOME mention should be made of...

the little train that couldn't

Y'all know the saga, marijuana blunts and goldshlager.

Grotesk: Drunken man only slightly injured after being run over by a train; is there nothing alcohol can't do?

YOU KNOW WHY don't you?

When you're totally hammered your muscles go limp
and sustain impact better than if you were tensed and freaking.

So stay drunk, I guess, if you know what's good for you.

I told you I was hardcore.

The only problem when lying between the rails? The air couplings. Some are almost 6" off the rail bed, so you gotta lay to the side.

I'm pretty sure if I were run over by a freakin' train, alcohol would most likely be the LEAST noticeable smell.

Shack'll fix ya good next time

from under second engine... ok.

no 76 car freight train then

mrEdude: YOU KNOW WHY don't you?

When you're totally hammered your muscles go limp
and sustain impact better than if you were tensed and freaking.

That's why I like to get my hookers good and plastered.

So WHY, I ask, WHY OH WHY, don't we have an "alcohol" tag?

I figured he would've smelled like shiat. If I got run over by a train, I'm sure my pants would be smellin' like something.

Sir, you're really drunk and I'd just like to say, your standing on the tracks and the train's coming through butthead.

Gyrfalcon: So WHY, I ask, WHY OH WHY, don't we have an "alcohol" tag?

This.

"Your bones don't break, mine do."

I'm dealing with a girl on probation that showed up to our first date drunk and beligerent/obnoxious, and then passed out on my couch, so I'm getting a real kick out of these replies...

No really. Someone take my alcoholic, please.

OW I'm ok OW I'm ok OW I'm ok OW I'm ok OW I'm ok OW I'm ok OW I'm ok OW I'm ok OW I'm ok OW I'm ok OW I'm ok OW I'm ok OW I'm ok OW I'm ok OW I'm ok OW I'm ok OW I'm ok OW I'm ok OW I'm ok.....

Once again Darwin is cheated of his due.

Another moron..forgive me, moran - dodges fate, keeps sucking air, procreate and likely vote. Cripes.

ThatSwankyBrian: I'm dealing with a girl on probation that showed up to our first date drunk and beligerent/obnoxious, and then passed out on my couch, so I'm getting a real kick out of these replies...

So eHarmony is working well for you, then?

The engineer should be fired for not speeding up. That prevented a Darwin Award from being given out.

xtexSo eHarmony is working well for you, then?

This was my one, and will be only, venture into online dating. Holy shiat. I can't begin to fathom what would possess to do something this incredibly batshiat crazy.

Oh wait. Alcoholism. AWESOME!

FuLinHyu: Gyrfalcon: So WHY, I ask, WHY OH WHY, don't we have an "alcohol" tag?

This.

Probably because it would negate most of the need for other tags.

Every time I see an article from Colorado, I play 'guess the city' before I click the link. This time, I was right.

/Longtucky!

He was upgraded from dead to drunk

johnnyboog

I came for the Unbreakable ref. I was not disappointed. I will leave now.

drunk midgets. they're everywhere.

ThatSwankyBrian, try OkCupid. Didn't find my soulmate, but at least I got some fun out of it (of course, I'm female, so that's not too difficult). In any case: it's free, the average member IQ seems to be higher, and the matching system is really thorough.

As for the lucky, drunken bastard: wanna bet he 'finds god'? The simple/criminal-minded ones always do.

How nice of the newspaper to post his complete arrest record. After reading the headline, I was very curious if maybe he was ever arrested for theft or burglary.

Get Lost

The only problem when lying between the rails? The air couplings. Some are almost 6" off the rail bed, so you gotta lay to the side.

Whilst riding the last car of a northbound one day I couldn't help but notice a loud CLUNK at every switch or grade crossing. The conductor said, "It's just a low brake hose. It'll fall off in a while."

If you walk trespass along busy rail lines long enough you'll find the occasional severed glad-hand.

Larva Lump:

If you walk trespass along busy rail lines long enough you'll find the occasional severed glad-hand.

I think if mine were severed, I'd call it a sad-hand

/Purses lips and walks off

Approves
/For those of you who don't know, that's Otis Campbell.
//Don't know who that is, Google him

Maybe he just got married.

Smelled like alcohol, yeah.

Looked more like soup though.