Nice one.

+1

+2

There once was a man from Nantucket
Whose wife would not once deign to suck it
He tried fapping to porn
Even sad girls with corn
But at last he lawyered up and said "fark it".

/the filter, of course, ruins the rhyme

'children' instead of 'kids' could have saved your meter, Longfellowmitter.

There was a young woman from Bude
Who went for a swim in the lake
A man in a punt
Stuck a pole up her nose
And said "You can't swim here, it's private"

/the filter, she has nothing

brilliant headline. +100

Worst haiku evar.

Well done!

Wife was gold digger.
Married for money, not love.
Now getting divorce.

Currently, the US has the highest rate of divorce in the western world, with 50pc of all marriages predicted to end in divorce.

We're #1! We're #1! USA! USA!

/We're doing it wrong

There once was a dumbass on Fark
who responded to threads on a lark.
He wasn't quite clever
despite his endeavor
to completely ruin a perfectly good limerick.

SaintAwesome: Worst haiku evar.

Wins

There was a young man, oh so young
Who surfed the internet for fun
one day whilst on Fark
A limerick he did start
And to a meeting he had to run

// This post should be a fun one.

+1

/golf clap

Data: There was a rather peculiar limerick being delivered by someone in the shuttlecraft bay. I am not sure I understand it. There was a young lady from Venus, Whose body was shaped like a...

Picard: (Interrupting) Captain to Security, come in!

Data: (To himself) Did I say something wrong?

Worf: I don't understand their humour either.

There was a young man from Kildare
Who was farking his girl on the stair
The banister broke
So he doubled his stroke
And finished her off in mid air

SaintAwesome: Worst haiku evar.

I've always wanted to go to County Haiku in Ireland.

Limerick divorcees seen moving en-masse to Nantucket.

+1, subby - those things are hard to do.

akugyaku: SaintAwesome: Worst haiku evar.

Wins

Thx. =)

Though about slashdot, still funny. xkcd

Greatness.

Now I'm off to listen to old I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue limerick rounds.

+4 leaf clover

Excellent headline! I love limericks :)

+1 pint

Having been born there....

+1 for headline

+1 for compliment for leaving....

\ /\/\ slashboobies

turnedupto11: those things are hard to do.

I have to agree, that is true.
You try to be clever
Your rhymes, the best evar
The result? Everyone just says, "Boo!"

A story, (a bit short and stubby),
About Irish wives leaving their hubby.
There is no debate;
That headline is great!
A new monitor is owed me by subby.

/Dang, it's hard to rhyme "subby" ...

There was an old man
From Peru, whose lim'ricks all
Look'd like haiku. He

Said with a laugh "I
Cut them in half, the pay is
Much better for two."



All hail http://limerickdb.com (^)
=Smidge=

B Quad: A story, (a bit short and stubby),
About Irish wives leaving their hubby.
There is no debate;
That headline is great!
A new monitor is owed me by subby.

100% pure awesome, no added preservatives.

Let me assure you that there are millions of kids out there right now who can imagine nothing in the entire world more desirable than that their parents should get divorced.

Well, I tink dey should stay togeddir fer de kids...

Not dat dere's anyting wrong wit dat, like.

The package had finally come through
I had waited a day or two.
On the label it said,
Use only in bed.
So I did till caught by you.

Oh boy a limerick thread... let me see, here's a couple from my book (yes I write them down)

I've been humping the neighborhood retard
you laugh but she makes my pee-pee hard
to keep her from cryin'
I drive to Best Buy and
get her a free DVD card.

Your sister's vagina is tight
I put things inside it all night
in a poor turn of luck
my dictionary got stuck
is there one "L" or two "allright"?

Defleshed

Very, very funny.

I'm glad there's nobody at the office right now so I can laugh as loud as I want.

I sat at my desk all forlorn
I was tired of Fapping to porn
Then I couldn't resist
the girl with the fist
up the place from where babies are born.

/thank you thank you. I'll be here until 5:30

Fatroll: Defleshed

Very, very funny.

I'm glad there's nobody at the office right now so I can laugh as loud as I want.

I sat at my desk all forlorn
I was tired of Fapping to porn
Then I couldn't resist
the girl with the fist
up the place from where babies are born.

/thank you thank you. I'll be here until 5:30

hahaha!

OK OK, here (when I was in the Marine Corps, some of my fellow Marines and I composed hundreds of these things):

In your closet I stand, still and poised
I try not to make to much noise
as I creep up behind ya
rip off your vagina
and fashion a purse for my coins

Most assholes taste kind of bland
That is until you fill them with jam
It's like making a donut
out of someone you know, but
they get a free prostate exam.

ADMINS be sure and keep this one for the end of the year headline contest! + 8 brazillion, subby.

I'm gonna say +5 subby. That was excellent work.

There once was an old fellow named Sidney,
who drank 'till he ruined his kidney.
It shrivelled and shrank,
yet he drank and he drank.
But he had his fun doing it didn't he.

Marilyn Monroe in Gentlemen Prefer Blondes.

Limerick, you're a lady.

There once was a hooker named sue,
who filled her no-no with glue,
when they paid to get in,
she would say with a grin,
you've got to pay to get out of it too.

Comedy gold, subby