Lincoln didn't shoot no cherry tree. He discovered the penny. Get your history straight, dude.

Sufjan Stevens' new album?

/DRTFA

That's nothin compared to Ansel Adams, who also inspired music. He put American flags on all the dolphin's dorsal fins!

Let me lay it on the line, he had two on the vine
I mean two sets of testicles, so divine!

/wrong President?

schnarff: Of course! Americans can always spot an anachronism, especially when it involves one of their favorite presidents.

What a bunch of lookers.

Why does Dubya's picture look like it's out of a high school yearbook?

Abraham Lincoln was a fine ol' man, hopped out the window with his d*ck in his hand. Said,"Excuse me ladies, just doin' my duty, so turn around now and give me some booty".

Come on now, everyone knows Lincoln was the guy that invented the luxury car and saved us from the Redcoats.

Been Done Already! (sorta) (new window not a rickroll)

Vallillo has no illusions about selling as many records as Garth Brooks.

Way to reach for the stars there buddy! Maybe you can sell as many as Chris Gaines.

Hey Man Nice Shot?

Sybarite: Hey Man Nice Shot?

Ding! Judges declare thread over with a unanimous perfect score!

Abe Lincoln used to grow his own pot and make his own liquor, but that was way back when America was a free country.

Indeed, but will it be as awesome as "Jimmy Carter Says Yes"?

(YouTube it yourselves, you lazy bastards.)

At least Lincoln got his wood-chopping out of his system before he became President. You can say that much for the old rail-splitter.

And George Washington got his wood choppers out before he became President, also, which is why his nickname was "Silent Cal". He gave the shortest inaugural speech ever. It was "Phanthx".

Fun Fact: Geo. Washington never chopped down his father's cherry tree. It was a lie made up by a clergyman who embroidered the tale to teach children that one must always tell the truth. Betsy Ross used it as inspiration for the flag. The stars were originally dingbats. Betsy Ross cussed like a sailor. Some say it was because of a French kiss she stole from Washington before he took out his wood choppers. Splinters.

Where is Richard Armour now that his country needs him? Lying down on the job, I'll bet. He had an understudy, I hear, but the guy couldn't take the pressure when Armour put on weight.

Queue the Hard Drinkin' Lilcoln cartoons

Now I want some Mustardayonaise.

I don't suppose Lincoln wants to take anyone to a gay bar?

I thought he chopped down a cherry tree and made a house out of it.

Lincoln, Lincoln, I've been thinkin',
What the hell have you been drinkin'?
Is it whiskey?
Is it wine?
Oh my gosh, it's turpentine!!

The Truth About Lincoln (poppity)

Betsy Ross used it as inspiration for the flag

Betsy Ross didn't make the flag, or have anything to do with it. That was a lie told by her grandson in 1870, trying to make a quick buck, and even he said it needed confirmation at the time. Can we stop retarding children by telling them this flat out bs? It is nearly as bad as the first thanksgiving and up there with people who believe that Morte d'Arthur was a true historical account.

Washington had a better video:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tQ8BCNj2oao

weaklingrecords
Sufjan Stevens' new album?

/DRTFA

I thought the exact same thing.
GET OUTTA MY HEAD!

/ "Illinois" is a fantastic album.
/ "Michigan"...not so much.
[or whatever it was called...the one before Illinois]

No Electric Six? For shame Farkers, for shame...


/You!
//I wanna take you to a gay bar!
///Gay, gay, gay, gay bar

Impressed

i like this sort of music, but i went up on itunes, and thought his stuff sorta sucked. Not a particularly good singer or guitar player.

Not a rickroll. The REAL truth about Lincoln...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HTN6Du3MCgI