"My daughter, newly voluptuous, became volatile."

WTF?

Hopkin green frog.

Hottest topic on the internet?

First I've heard of it ;)

My daughter named him Lemmiwinks, which I thought simperingly cute until I discovered it derived from an unsavoury episode of the cartoon South Park concerning a gerbil and a man's naked bottom.

Nice.

crypticsatellite: "My daughter, newly voluptuous, became volatile."

WTF?

exactly! wtf does the girl being newly voluptuous have to do with a lost hamster?

ok so the hamster is lost..... go to the local pet store and replace it for $7

Heh. I had hamsters as a kid. One of them was a great escape artist. One night, when my parents were, I was woken up by my babysitter screaming. I stumbled out into the hallway to see my hamster chasing our elderly cat down the hall.

/another cat solved the escape problem by sitting on top of the hamster tank and staring down as the hamster ignored her kitty overlord

My daughter named him Lemmiwinks, which I thought simperingly cute until I discovered it derived from an unsavoury episode of the cartoon South Park concerning a gerbil and a man's naked bottom.

Um... As opposed to an episode of South Park which ISN'T unsavory?

eqtworld: And this is how is 13 year old voluptuous daughter became the hottest thing on the internet.

THIS.

/seat over there, etc.

In hindsight lighting the match was a bad idea....

/you know the rest

It's a good thing she didn't lose her beaver. The internet might have asploded.

swr2000: In hindsight lighting the match was a bad idea....

Armageddon!

Bad subby! Dangling the lure of a pic in front of us only to have it turn out to be of the damn hamster. I already had my pants unzipped!

eqtworld: And this is how is 13 year old voluptuous daughter became the hottest thing on the internet.



/obligatory

eqtworld: Trixie_Belden: crypticsatellite: "My daughter, newly voluptuous, became volatile."

WTF?

exactly! wtf does the girl being newly voluptuous have to do with a lost hamster?

And this is how is 13 year old voluptuous daughter became the hottest thing on the internet.

This just happened now? No way; these pics have been on my HDD for ages.

King Something: My daughter named him Lemmiwinks, which I thought simperingly cute until I discovered it derived from an unsavoury episode of the cartoon South Park concerning a gerbil and a man's naked bottom.

Um... As opposed to an episode of South Park which ISN'T unsavory?


Shut your farking face, uncle farker...

Freak: Bad subby! Dangling the lure of a pic in front of us only to have it turn out to be of the damn hamster. I already had my pants unzipped!

Dude, she's 12 13!

Trixie_Belden: crypticsatellite: "My daughter, newly voluptuous, became volatile."

WTF?

exactly! wtf does the girl being newly voluptuous have to do with a lost hamster?

i think the author is implying that his daughter is hormone crazed. Which makes this sentence, very disturbing:

FTFA: Ideally, a horse would see off any funny "urges", but this was tricky since we live in a city. So we bought a hamster instead.

Wanted for questioning.

Bucky Katt: Trixie_Belden: crypticsatellite: "My daughter, newly voluptuous, became volatile."

WTF?

exactly! wtf does the girl being newly voluptuous have to do with a lost hamster?

i think the author is implying that his her daughter is hormone crazed. Which makes this sentence, very disturbing:

FTFA: Ideally, a horse would see off any funny "urges", but this was tricky since we live in a city. So we bought a hamster instead.

FTFM

Conan the Librarian: swr2000: In hindsight lighting the match was a bad idea....

Armageddon!

That is a true classic. Couldn't find an audio file of it through my admittedly cursory search.

hmm, dad sounds like a real creep. maybe he knows where the hamster went wink wink nudge nudge say no more

"Ideally, a horse would see off any funny 'urges' ..."

would like a word with you.

The guy who wrote this article has issues...

CougarJeff: Hopkin green frog.

I'm astonished that nobody else has mentioned Hopkin green frog. It's the first thing I thought of.

I'm betting the hamster had the best teeth in the house

"My daughter, newly voluptuous, became volatile."

In my Universe, this is how every article starts...

Xerexerex: The guy who wrote this article has issues...

it's a woman, which means even greater issues

The girl was exhibiting signs of horniness, so her parents bought her a hamster. Well, duh. I remember my first hamster. A woman always has fond memories of her first Horny Hamster.

I don't get it... What does big tits and horses got to do with a hamster?
/Oh yea
//South park

Xerexerex: The guy who wrote this article has issues...

It wasn't a guy. It was a woman.

Found him.

crypticsatellite: "My daughter, newly voluptuous, became volatile."


// in context,volitile means she's got teh 'itch' between the...
she's horney.
everything frustrates the horney...

I'm gonna go out on a limb here and guess that it's because people, in general, are morans.

/my $0.02

When a girl turns 13 she starts acting strangely. Either my daughter had to be packed off to a convent or we must buy her a pet.

That's some fine parenting there Lou.

Wonder what you'll do when she turns 16, 18 and 21?

Ever tried talking with your 13-year-old? Talking? You know, a conversation?

Nevermind. Just get her another hampster I guess. Maybe an ant farm.

Bucky Katt: i think the author is implying that his daughter is hormone crazed. Which makes this sentence, very disturbing:

FTFA: Ideally, a horse would see off any funny "urges", but this was tricky since we live in a city. So we bought a hamster instead.

Glad I'm not the only one that found that disturbing.

JSTACAT: crypticsatellite: "My daughter, newly voluptuous, became volatile."


// in context,volitile means she's got teh 'itch' between the...
she's horney.
everything frustrates the horney...

NTTAWWT

"When a girl turns 13 she starts acting strangely. My daughter, newly voluptuous, became volatile."

Call me in 2-5 years, depending on the laws of your jurisdiction.

And don't spoil it in the meantime, assdad.

d976: Ever tried talking with your 13-year-old?

IDK... like, NO WAI!!!

o/' Ben, the two of us need look no more o/'

I just came in here to say "Richard Gere".

That is all.

/hamster, gerbil, whatevah.

The only way I would tear my house apart for a farkin' hamster is if it started to stink.

she started yawning and stretching? this reads like a bad porn.


And when the hell did the lost hamster become a hot internet topic? Right now?

For some reason this article read like it was just a roundabout way to talk about this guy's fetish with his "newly voluptuous" daughter. Everything just seemed so dirty...

Promised pic, got stock photo of hampster --> FAIL.

13 yr old names hamster Lemmiwinks --> EPIC WIN.

Use of "voluptuous" in describing a 13yr old girl. --> WTF!?

Conventional FAIL + EPIC WIN + WTF = WIN.

Did the tongue-in-cheek humour of the the entire article go over everyone's heads? Seriously?

tokyogirl79: For some reason this article read like it was just a roundabout way to talk about this guy's mom's fetish with his "newly voluptuous" daughter. Everything just seemed so dirty...
ftfy

tokyogirl79: For some reason this article read like it was just a roundabout way to talk about this guy's fetish with his "newly voluptuous" daughter. Everything just seemed so dirty...

Article By SARAH SANDS

/still strange and creepy

deevo

I hope you find your frog, he looks like good one. Real cuddly.

/kidding

Except it was written by her mom, pervo.

When a girl turns 13 she starts acting strangely. Either my daughter had to be packed off to a convent or we must buy her a pet.

// newly voluptuous & volatile is one thing, but this guy has some itches of his own...

is he saying she's sooo voluptuous that, you know, she's better off in a convent if she cant stay out of sight and busy with a pet.
the itching ... is partly his?