I always spit on my hands before I touch everything. Since everyone is using anti bacterial stuff I can be as messy and gross as I want.

I'll take the trade off if they can just get all the damn wheels to go in the same direction at the same time for Pete's sake.

How the fark did the human race survive until now?

...(barfing sounds)

This is a repeat.

dewars-rocks: How the fark did the human race survive until now?

Less shopping carts.

strangeguitar: I'll take the trade off if they can just get all the damn wheels to go in the same direction at the same time for Pete's sake.

This.

Why can't all stores get the sweet carts they have at Ikea, they can move in any direction, and I've never had one that pulled one way or another.

Still cleaner than a small child. Plus you don't get arrested when you handle a grocery cart in a store.

There's nothing sexier than a grocery cart handle. fap fap fap

Coolhaus: Still cleaner than a small child.

I would guess that most of the handle funk comes from drooling youngsters in the child seat. And people who don't wipe properly after using the restroom.

My store keeps a pack of disinfecting wipes near the carts for those inclined to wipe them off. I don't bother.

And I'd bet that the blood is from packages of meat.

Coolhaus: Still cleaner than a small child.

Most anything is cleaner than a small child.

I go grocery shopping and handle filthy cart handles, and I put my fresh vegetables in the child seat part where thousands of shiatty asses have been. Then I stop at the Chinese buffet on the way home and handle serving utensils that have been previously touched by hundreds of filthy hands to serve myself some sneezed on food prepared in a filthy kitchen by diseased illegal immigrants, that has sat on the buffet for an hour at the prime bacterial growth temperature.

While I'm eating bacterial laden buffet, my dairy and meat products are sitting in the car warming up to an unsafe temperature and growing all kinds of nasty stuff.

Yet somehow I survive.

Yet when I come home with my underwear in the same condition, my husband gets pissed.

Every supermarket in my area has anti-bacterial wipes right next to the cart corral too.

Psychotropic: Yet somehow I survive.

There is that slight brain damage thing though.

OMG GERMS!!!111!

santadog: OMG GERMS!!!111!

I wish people could see germs with the naked eye. Much of the world would go Howard Hughes in minutes.

submitter: wipe hands on pants

WE'RE TF'ERS. LIKE THAT'S GONNA HELP.

Kinda makes you want to think twice about opening a door for someone now doesn't it?

Most major grocery stores have handy wipes just inside the entrance.

If you eat in those all you can eat buffets (you know you do) look at the salt and pepper shakers. You can feed an army with the residue that sits on them for weeks.

Someone needs to post a shot from that old SNL skit of the UV light that detects poop everywhere.

that's why i always clean off the cart's handle with fire

fluff girl
how you doin?

55 percent of handles on grocery carts were Pretty much everything in public is contaminated with bodily fluids such as urine and saliva, and 21 percent showed traces of blood. EVERYBODY PANIC, wipe hands on pants.

ftfy

Hooray!!! Another thread where all the moonbat germophobes come out to rant, then get slapped down by The Weighty Hand Of Knowledge!!

/goes to make popcorn...

Before I go into the store I always pee on my shopping cart's handle to knock off the germs left there by the slobs who used it before me.

Is that a buggy or a cart?

The store I shop at has a dispenser with free Clorox Wipes right at the front door. I thought all places did that now.

I wipe my hands, then I wipe the fark out of the entire cart handle, toss the wipe in the trash and I'm ready to go. If you're really paranoid they don't mind if you grab another wipe for your hands on the way out.

Always carry it on me, if nothing else but to clean my junk after my Friday Night Hooker spree.

What they don't mention is the study was done the week Albertson's was giving 50% off to armless hemopheliac lepers.

If I can survive a 36 hour trip on the Greyhound, I don't think the grocery store is worth worrying about.

dickkead: This is a repeat.

Of course it's a repeat -- it's one of those stories news outlets get to repeat every year or so, like "OMG some teens have sex" and "OMG asteroids might hit the Earth" -- how else do you fill a newspaper?

bidness

I've looked many a time for that skit online, always unsuccessfully. I just tried again to no avail.

Perhaps some other amazing Farker will track it down. :(

Wasn't there an article on the Geek page on friday that said they were treating Crohne's with parasitic worms? And that the prevalance of autoimmune diseases was over 3 times that of third world countries.

We have an immune system for a reason, if we don't use it, it starts attacking us.

you think grocery carts are dirty, you should see what's on your cash.

oh, and don't ever eat the unwrapped mints/jelly beans at restaurants. just.....don't

I thought urine was sterile?

If people in the Amazon and New Guinea can live perfectly fine in the jungle on a diet of grubs, monkeys, and spiders, I'm not about to worry about a few bacteria on a cart handle.

It's like the episode of The Office where Dwight uses a blacklight on him and Micheal's room.


Dwight: "Let's see what we find"
*Turns on blacklight and the whole bed has huge splotches on it*
Dwight: "OK, it's either semen, blood, or urine."
Micheal: "God I hope it's urine"

There's enough ammunition here for a week's worth of sensationalistic news articles.

It's a sweeps month! Alert the media!

oh man I love germaphobes. never touch someone else's keyboard then. Those things are dirty.

You know who else feared tiny, microscopic germs?

Microbiophobia or Bacillophobia- Fear of microbes.
Misophobia or Mysophobia- Fear of being contaminated with dirt or germs.

Only these people really care about stuff like that.

The rest of us pretty much do what we need to do on a daily basis and will continue to do so.

I can count on one hand the number of times I have even had a sniffle in the last 10 years. I am in an office, my kid goes to day care, and I eat at buffets. I should be sick every day.

But that is not the reality. Most people won't get sick becasue they have an immunity built up to most of the common crap out there.

bidness: Someone needs to post a shot from that old SNL skit of the UV light that detects poop everywhere.

It wasn't poop.

Yet people still put food items in that little "baby seat" portion in the cart... the dirtiest place in the whole store is that spot right there. A baby's wet diaper was there 10 minutes ago, and you're going to put your still-warm roast chicken container there? Smart...


Anti-bacterial wipes... yeah. Great way to weed out the weak bacteria, leaving only the strong. Of course, people who don't "believe" in evolution won't be struck down by the germs that wound their way up the natural selection chain of command to become Super Bugs... They don't believe in evolution, therefore, they can't be hurt by bacteria that evolved to survive anti-bacterial stuff...

The best anti-bacterial solution? 1pt bleach, 1pb boiling water. Bugs go Die Die Die. (Ventilation is important, btw). (Not to be used as a hand sanitizer... eye sanitizer, perhaps, if you've seen some ugly men lately.

fark antibacterial hand sanitizer.
When you use it, where do the dead germs go? do they evaporate into nothingness?
Or do they sit there, dead on your hands?

Working in schools, you know your immune system will have an insane workout before it's even Thanksgiving. They have hand sanitizer at all the computer labs and require the younger kids to use it before beginning.
The older ones don't want to after the whole "where do the dead germs go?" speech I would give.
Unless I'm rinsing it down the drain, I ain't putting any "germ killing" crap on my hands unless I'm really sticky... like after eating chinese spareribs. Then I'll get a handi-wipe.

So tired of this pussification of being dirty. I don't want to know what my keyboard would look like under UV, but it'd prolly glow enough for people to ask me to turn my lights down. Oh well!

Been to the Gym lately?

When Purell's not enough, there's always:

Smiths: fark antibacterial hand sanitizer.
When you use it, where do the dead germs go? do they evaporate into nothingness?
Or do they sit there, dead on your hands?

Working in schools, you know your immune system will have an insane workout before it's even Thanksgiving. They have hand sanitizer at all the computer labs and require the younger kids to use it before beginning.
The older ones don't want to after the whole "where do the dead germs go?" speech I would give.
Unless I'm rinsing it down the drain, I ain't putting any "germ killing" crap on my hands unless I'm really sticky... like after eating chinese spareribs. Then I'll get a handi-wipe.

So tired of this pussification of being dirty. I don't want to know what my keyboard would look like under UV, but it'd prolly glow enough for people to ask me to turn my lights down. Oh well!

This

flacidbob: Most people won't get sick becasue they have an immunity built up to most of the common crap out there.

Plus most people would be amazed at how much you can cut down on colds by simply not touching your eyes/nose/mouth unless your hands are clean.

I used to work at a sales job that required shaking a lot of hands, and I eventually learned to never touch my face unless I had just washed. Once I got in the conscious habit of doing that I went from getting about 4 colds a year to getting maybe 1 or less.

OMG... everything is dirty!!

Psychotropic:
I go grocery shopping and handle filthy cart handles, and I put my fresh vegetables in the child seat part where thousands of shiatty asses have been. Then I stop at the Chinese buffet on the way home and handle serving utensils that have been previously touched by hundreds of filthy hands to serve myself some sneezed on food prepared in a filthy kitchen by diseased illegal immigrants, that has sat on the buffet for an hour at the prime bacterial growth temperature.

While I'm eating bacterial laden buffet, my dairy and meat products are sitting in the car warming up to an unsafe temperature and growing all kinds of nasty stuff.

Yet somehow I survive.

Probably because by now, you have an immune system like a horse.