*crickets*

Just read this down the pub. My Pub (like many in rural midlands) only stocks The Daily Mail or The Sun. Neither have much to say other than "Dear the Muslims" or "The country is going to the dogs". This article represents the later. Unless the guy was a Muslim, in which case it would have made front page.

Dear = Fear

Dear, the Muslims.

Please get off my lawn.

Sincerely,
Old Cricket Hating Douche.

It's like people who move next to an airport, then complain about the noise.

Get a grip, people.

Sounds like they're complaining about the nets.

Is cricket usually played with nets?

Dear The Muslims,
Vacation is great, gosh it's hot!
I think I locked the back door, but Mabel is worried about it. Can you please go check?
Thanks, we'll bring you back some pork rinds. Haha! Just kidding!
Be back next week,
CougarJeff

As far as I can tell there are two sets of asshats here:

1) FTFA: The ban was sparked by the complaints of 59-year-old Philip Moody, a retired company director whose sun lounge backs on to the club.

Following his move, two more neighbours also registered their opposition to the nets, with one comparing the noise of leather on willow to the "crack of a rifle".

They all moved in next to the cricket pitch now they are whining about it.



2) FTAF: The row began when the club built two training nets on its site in 2006, and then sought planning permission retrospectively.

The culb built something without permission and now are whining because they can't get permission to use it.

Boo Farking Hoo to both groups.

Dear Muslims,

I still blame you.


xx

/Obligatory

Still no asshole tag, huh?

Well done, you pillock.

petrol+match=no more problem

Dear the Muslims,

We are in dire need of a gripping front page story for tomorrow.
Would you please tell us what you've been up to lately?
We have writers standing by.

Regards,
The UK Press

How is a 133 year old club in jeopardy from something they built two years ago? It sounds to me like this club was doing just fine before they built the nets in 2006. They'll get over it.

Dear the Muslims! Fark the cricketeers!

It's called "coming to the nuisance" and it (usually) doesn't fly here in the States.

lordargent: Sounds like they're complaining about the nets.

Is cricket usually played with nets?

You have what are imaginativly titled 'Nets.' Pretty much a metal structure with a net draped over that allows you to practice batting and bowling without chasing after the ball. So they are not used during matches but as extra practice on the sidelines. The article has a good picture to show what I mean.

They also have the wonderful side-effect of making you think you are far better than you actually are.

/Usually a dream broken the second you step on the actual pitch.

Nonstory. They can't use the nets that they built without asking for permission first. They can still play cricket.

Step 1: Gather all parties involved
Step 2: Soylent Green
Step 3: Profit

man_they_couldnt_hang: You have what are imaginativly titled 'Nets.' Pretty much a metal structure with a net draped over that allows you to practice batting and bowling without chasing after the ball. So they are not used during matches but as extra practice on the sidelines. The article has a good picture to show what I mean.

Similar to batting cages.

gumpy: Just read this down the pub. My Pub (like many in rural midlands) only stocks The Daily Mail or The Sun. Neither have much to say other than "Dear the Muslims" or "The country is going to the dogs". This article represents the later. Unless the guy was a Muslim, in which case it would have made front page.

There's a reason it's called "The Daily Fail" around these parts.

Dear Daily Mail,

Mr. Moody is a real jerk.

Sincerely,
the Muslims

Dear the Muslims,

Bomb this jerk's patio, please.

Yours,

Cricketer

Dear The Muslims,

I used to watch your show all the time in the 60's.
Fred Gwynne and Yvonne DeCarlo were great.
But shouldn't Marilyn be wearing a burqa?

Love,
A Fan

Dear Fear Fark the Muslims

FTFY

What's next, closing down air-ports because people who bought homes built nearby within the last 10 years complain of the noise? If you move in near a baseball stadium, can you complain of all the people, traffic, and noise, and have it shut down? If you live near a church and don't like the bells, can you have it shut down too?

The only thing that'd make this story perfect is if the people who were complaining moved out after the park was shut down due to "hostile neighbors."

They should put in a firing range in its place, to show the complainers what guns really sound like.

This thread is too noisy.

I demand that Drew closes down Fark.com immediately.

the asshole shouldn't have moved next to the cricket pitch in the first place.

I hope the neighborhood kids know what to do with any dog crap they find...

/ballistic feces for revenge!

'Local man assaulted in home by Cricket bat weilding assailants.'

gumpy: Just read this down the pub. My Pub (like many in rural midlands) only stocks The Daily Mail or The Sun. Neither have much to say other than "Dear the Muslims" or "The country is going to the dogs". This article represents the later. Unless the guy was a Muslim, in which case it would have made front page.

Jeez, thanks gumpy... since the pub I live in happens to buy both The Sun and the Daily Mail, and is in the rural Midlands area.

This is a local pub for local people. Are you local? :-P

I see a few people actually managed to read the article. It's not that they can't play cricket, they simply can't use the nets (Batting Cage) which they built without city permission. Though I'm kind of at a loss as to how nets would amplify the sound.

Retired people suck. They work their whole life so they don't have to go to their shiatty job any more, then realize they don't have anything to do.

I have a couple of retired assholes from Texas living next door. They clean their house and yard all day, every day. I've seen them leaf-blow their entire property as many as three times a day. Seriously.

Their other hobby is gossip. They go up and down the street on any nice day, telling their dirty little secrets to anyone who will listen.

/never going to retire

I work on a farm.

in a fairly well to do area.

People love the scenic tranquil pastures, the idealized version of the farm.

But then the instant they move in, the complain about the smell, the noise, the diesel fumes, the mud on the road from tractor tires.

Same story, different venue.

Something similar to this happened in my hometown. The trains used to blow their whistle as they passed through town (we have a few open crossings with no little arm things). A couple bought a house next to the tracks at about 30% less than they would have paid for the same property anywhere else in town. They immediately filed complaints with the town about the noise of the trains and succeeded in getting the whistles to stop. Since then, two people have been hit by trains in the town. I'm not saying they wouldn't have been hit if the whistles had blown, but it does make you wonder.

I hate people who willingly enter a situation and then complain about it so much that everyone bends to their will. Don't like it? FREAKIN MOVE!

after complaints about the "rifle-like" noise they make.

Dont you realize the issue??!?! It sounds like a GUN!!! Anything that looks, smells, or sounds like a GUN is evil and could kill us all!!! That sound could cause a massacre of innocent unarmed civilians!

DrForrester
Retired people suck. They work their whole life so they don't have to go to their shiatty job any more, then realize they don't have anything to do.


Good,keep working (that is,if you have a job) 'til you drop dead.

Though I'm kind of at a loss as to how nets would amplify the sound.

Ball at high velocity hits giant flexible gong. CRRRAAAACK! Never heard it, but I can imagine it is pretty dang loud.

I wanted to hate the old douchebag, but based on the story, it really DOES seem like the club is at fault here. Built the nets without permits, and they have proven to be a problem. They'll get over it.

Wait. They had no training nets. People move in. They decide to install nets (that no one could live without, but they did forever) and THEN try to get permission?

Why didn't the club just ask for permission to install the nets first? Oh yea, it woulda been shot down for being noisy.

Hey, if the club was in America, it would have counter sued the guy for like $40M, offering to drop the suit if he would drop his complaint, and pay their attorney's fees.

"It's called "payback", you whiny S.O.B."

The ban was sparked by the complaints of 59-year-old Philip Moody, a retired company director whose sun lounge backs on to the club.

I hope that information was made available to the young people who attend the club so that they can express their sincere appreciation to Mr. Moody and his precious sun lounge.

Sigh... 2008-02-17 05:08:11 PM
I work on a farm.

in a fairly well to do area.

People love the scenic tranquil pastures, the idealized version of the farm.

But then the instant they move in, the complain about the smell, the noise, the diesel fumes, the mud on the road from tractor tires.

Same story, different venue.

Yup, I've seen THAT happen. Idiots build a subdivision next to a chicken farm that's been there for 20 years. People move in, promptly complain about the constant crowing and stench of chicken crap. Farm gets closed down.

The farm that HAD BEEN THERE FOR 20 YEARS gets closed down, let me repeat that.

Small boys, over the park, jumpers for wickets, shouts of "HOWZAT!", isn't it? Hmmm?

The Daily Mail should so bring out an American edition.

What an asshat. I hope they bust a few cricket balls through his windows.

I suggest the same thing I always suggest. When someone complains about something normal you are doing in your yard/land, respond as annoyingly and gaudily as legally possible.

\btw, I'm not saying Bud's ad power has dropped this year but....yaaaa.....

Dear the Muslims,

Welcome to the Fark Cliche neighborhood, but I'd like my Hot Cocoa Sampler Box back, please. On the other hand, there is a slatted wooden chair on the porch, you may sit it in any time you please.

Sincerely
Ishidan
Farker 701