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(The Local (Sweden)) Weird News: Police arrest naked man found masturbating in stairwell. Fark: Man continued masturbating in the back of the police car during the 40-minute drive back to the station   (thelocal.se) divider line 100
More: Weird  

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Chuck Ruffcorn 2008-02-17 04:50:40 AM  
i54.photobucket.com

 
z_gringo [TotalFark] 2008-02-17 05:00:59 AM  
I'm guessing that Sweden is one of the many countries where it is illegal for the police to handcuff someone's hands behind their back.

 
monty666 [TotalFark] 2008-02-17 05:06:17 AM  
z_gringo: I'm guessing that Sweden is one of the many countries where it is illegal for the police to handcuff someone's hands behind their back.

Either that or the suspect is quite well-endowed.

 
RabidDog [TotalFark] 2008-02-17 05:10:00 AM  
Let's just hope the poor fella didn't have an erection for more than 4 hours. Or make a mess of the police car.

 
ghost_who_walks [TotalFark] 2008-02-17 05:25:18 AM  
Now that's dedication! Once you start something like that you really should be allowed to finish, 'cos stopping part way is just cruel.

/lol at the euphemism "holding his own"

 
0Icky0 2008-02-17 07:19:37 AM  
Stairwell to Heaven.

 
skinink 2008-02-17 08:24:25 AM  
Stamina = +6.

 
Two Dogs Farking [TotalFark] 2008-02-17 08:26:08 AM  
This guy's showing a lot of spunk

 
The Martintuckian 2008-02-17 08:27:00 AM  
Hey, sometimes you just have too.

 
ReverendHeresy 2008-02-17 08:27:38 AM  
Penis.

 
lozak 2008-02-17 08:27:48 AM  
"Never give up. Never surrender."

 
starsrift 2008-02-17 08:30:42 AM  
What, can you think of a better way to make it go down?

 
Jacques Lestrap 2008-02-17 08:32:33 AM  
What a whack job!

 
Keystone Copout 2008-02-17 08:34:57 AM  
eqtworld: 40 mins? That guy has stamina!

And some blisters too, I'd wager.

 
pipco 2008-02-17 08:35:48 AM  
incessant self-gratification This phrase is very musical. I will admit it has a overly-proper Englishy-stodgy nose to it; But just the same, when I use it I am overcome with a general feeling of satisfaction.
Penis.

 
VictoryCabal [TotalFark] 2008-02-17 08:35:51 AM  
You're doing it wrong!

/or maybe very right

 
proteus_b 2008-02-17 08:37:32 AM  
leading to a simple change of police protocol upon arresting masturbators... let them finish

 
things I do to my cats... [TotalFark] 2008-02-17 08:38:28 AM  
"you know who else masturbated in the back of a police car?"

 
Rann Xerox 2008-02-17 08:38:37 AM  
thisdistractedglobe.com

Maybe he was trying to get a Section Eight.

/Obscure?

 
Leishu [TotalFark] 2008-02-17 08:39:37 AM  
Well... if you've already been arrested for it, you may as well finish the job, right?

 
things I do to my cats... [TotalFark] 2008-02-17 08:39:46 AM  
"having been arrested for masturbating in public before being able to finish, i'm really getting a ... uh... hmm... something out of" yadda yadda

 
Korb [TotalFark] 2008-02-17 08:39:47 AM  
Reminds me of a certain someone and their left hand... (very much NSFW)

 
iamscotto 2008-02-17 08:41:42 AM  

Herjie! Herjie! Todee, herez how we chokin da chickin!

www.stefangeens.com

 
I_Can't_Believe_it's_not_Boutros 2008-02-17 08:44:32 AM  
eqtworld: 40 mins? That guy has stamina!

Lead with the left. Set up the right.

 
cubic_spleen 2008-02-17 08:50:05 AM  
So this fella goes into the doctor's office for his annual physical. The doctor comes in, looks at him for a moment, and says, "You need to stop masturbating".

"Why?"

"So I can do the exam."

 
globalwarmingpraiser [TotalFark] 2008-02-17 08:53:13 AM  
upload.wikimedia.org


So did he cum or what.

 
MessyDwarf 2008-02-17 08:54:13 AM  
Dad?

 
BenJammin 2008-02-17 09:00:43 AM  
Anyone notice the JerkIt link?

http://www.thelocal.se/9982/20080214/?JerkIt

 
Brew_Crew 2008-02-17 09:08:47 AM  
globalwarmingpraiser: So did he cum or what.

Jesus Christ Man! There's some things you just don't talk about in public!

 
globalwarmingpraiser [TotalFark] 2008-02-17 09:10:06 AM  
Brew_Crew: globalwarmingpraiser: So did he cum or what.

Jesus Christ Man! There's some things you just don't talk about in public!


I love that movie. Nice to know the efforts were appreciated.

/Snootchie Bootchies

 
kberry 2008-02-17 09:11:16 AM  
RabidDog [TotalFark] 2008-02-17 05:10:00 AM
Or make a mess of the police car.

Most of the cops I know keep duck tape in their cars in case they arrest a spitter. Not sure any of them has thought about this possibility.

 
jso2897 2008-02-17 09:18:28 AM  
The Martintuckian: Hey, sometimes you just have too two.

Sorry. Pet peeve.

 
Maynard G. Muskievote 2008-02-17 09:21:29 AM  
Guy walks into his doctor's office...

Doctor: You need to stop masturbating.

Patient: Why?

Doctor: So I can examine you.

 
Maynard G. Muskievote 2008-02-17 09:22:18 AM  
cubic_spleen: So this fella goes into the doctor's office for his annual physical. The doctor comes in, looks at him for a moment, and says, "You need to stop masturbating".

"Why?"

"So I can do the exam."


D'OH!

 
IXI Jim IXI [TotalFark] 2008-02-17 09:22:46 AM  
I love that movie. Nice to know the efforts were appreciated.

Say...would you like a chocolate covered pretzel?

 
maq0r 2008-02-17 09:23:13 AM  
Link is farked.

 
Shakespeare's Monkey 2008-02-17 09:25:13 AM  
farm1.static.flickr.com

 
globalwarmingpraiser [TotalFark] 2008-02-17 09:26:49 AM  
I like to find women just out of disappointing relationships. I then use that to have sex with them some place uncomfortable.

 
IXI Jim IXI [TotalFark] 2008-02-17 09:26:50 AM  
kberry: Most of the cops I know keep duck tape in their cars in case they arrest a spitter. Not sure any of them has thought about this possibility.

img88.imageshack.us
Have you ever wondered how much the average jizz mopper makes per hour

 
Mega Steve [TotalFark] 2008-02-17 09:32:52 AM  
globalwarmingpraiser: I like to find women just out of disappointing relationships. I then use that to have sex with them some place uncomfortable.

In the pooper?

 
maxximillian 2008-02-17 09:34:09 AM  
Brew_Crew: globalwarmingpraiser: So did he cum or what.

Jesus Christ Man! There's some things you just don't talk about in public!


It's nice to know i wasn't the only one that thought about Mallrats when I got done reading this story.

 
Brew_Crew 2008-02-17 09:36:58 AM  
globalwarmingpraiser: I like to find women just out of disappointing relationships. I then use that to have sex with them some place uncomfortable.

What? Like the back of a Volkswagen?

 
The Cornballer 2008-02-17 09:39:20 AM  
Tighten the handcuffs, and you're all set to do the Stranger

 
Danarchy84 2008-02-17 09:39:54 AM  
This reminds me of this story my mom told me. When she was living in...Atlanta, or maybe it was Chicago, she went out one day to go to work. She happened to glance down some alley and there was this guy standing there, porno mag in one hand, limp dick in the other, just going to town. She just kind of snickers and goes on her way. Eight hours later, she comes home from work, and on the way back, looks down the alley again. Guy is still standing there, still going at it, still completely limp.

/sadly, that's pretty typical of the stories I've heard around the dinner table

 
richw 2008-02-17 09:41:44 AM  
Faperday?

 
lelio 2008-02-17 09:45:00 AM  
Dad?

 
globalwarmingpraiser [TotalFark] 2008-02-17 09:45:59 AM  
Man faping in police car officially jacked into Mallrasts thread.


/MISSION ACCOMPLISHED

 
globalwarmingpraiser [TotalFark] 2008-02-17 09:48:14 AM  
Video of fapper in question. Not a Rick Roll.

Link (new window)

 
Two Dogs Farking [TotalFark] 2008-02-17 09:52:44 AM  
globalwarmingpraiser: Not a Rick Roll.

Who do you think you are, TMLO's alt?

 
globalwarmingpraiser [TotalFark] 2008-02-17 09:55:10 AM  
Was it funny?

 
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