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(Independent) Obvious "Britain needs a national policy for articulacy to help re-educate a growing generation of monosyllabic mumblers." U sbmted ths wf a mur gud hedin   (independent.co.uk) divider line 57
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Outlaw_Rudy [TotalFark] 2008-02-16 08:16:34 PM  
Wut?

 
2wolves 2008-02-16 08:32:08 PM  
"U sbmted ths wf a mur gud hedin"

Ah! You already speak American. How wonderful.

 
Cagey B [TotalFark] 2008-02-16 08:57:59 PM  
Oi! Bash 'iz noggin'!

 
bubbaprog [recently expired TotalFark] 2008-02-16 09:08:40 PM  
As a speech teacher, I endorse this decision.

 
NancyGracesTesticles 2008-02-16 10:42:32 PM  
bubbaprog: As a speech teacher, I endorse this decision.

As a spch stdnt, I mffflgll ghluh a ghhell.

 
unlikely [TotalFark] 2008-02-16 11:31:30 PM  
++good

 
shithead 2008-02-17 01:02:52 AM  
ah, you sound like a Mackem, wonderful

 
Barakku [TotalFark] 2008-02-17 01:05:08 AM  
I dunay see wat's bein' dun 'ere.

 
Asura-HiME 2008-02-17 01:07:27 AM  
Huh?

 
Juniper Jupiter [recently expired TotalFark] 2008-02-17 01:07:39 AM  
www.leechvideo.com
"indeed"
"quite"
"yes"
"hmm"
"Well, perhaps we should exchange monosyllabic expressions of arrogance in person"
"aahhm"
"hmmm"
"yes"

/Got nuthin'

 
Dispector 2008-02-17 01:08:52 AM  
2wolves: "U sbmted ths wf a mur gud hedin"

Ah! You already speak American. How wonderful.


I LOL'd there. Thank you. I needed that.

Regarding TFA, I can't stand people like this. The people who just say "Huh?" when they didn't hear what you said. Or the people who only grunt as a response. What the hell is wrong with you? How can one person be so dumb that they think of a more coherent or encompassing response? Farking morans.

/pet peeve

 
Oznog 2008-02-17 01:09:35 AM  
www.channel4.com

Im hugger nawlf my oring blanthery...

 
Uncle Karl 2008-02-17 01:09:37 AM  
2wolves: "U sbmted ths wf a mur gud hedin"

Ah! You already speak American. How wonderful.


That is southerner speech. Some Americans can speak the language. Unlike the brit I had to deal with at heathrow, it took me a few minutes to realize she was saying my connecting flight was to toronto, she kept saying "trntu" over and over.

 
Bucky Katt [TotalFark] 2008-02-17 01:11:05 AM  
meh

 
thisispete [TotalFark] 2008-02-17 01:11:49 AM  
Hedley Lamarr: My mind is a raging torrent, flooded with rivulets of thought cascading into a waterfall of creative alternatives.
Taggart: God darnit, Mr. Lamarr, you use your tongue prettier than a twenty dollar whore.

 
Barakku [TotalFark] 2008-02-17 01:12:56 AM  
Bucky Katt: meh

This

 
Oznog 2008-02-17 01:13:24 AM  
www.monty-pythons.com

"it's..."

/That's all he's got to say?
//Is "it's" one syllable or two?

 
Dispector 2008-02-17 01:14:19 AM  
Uncle Karl: That is southerner speech. Some Americans can speak the language. Unlike the brit I had to deal with at heathrow, it took me a few minutes to realize she was saying my connecting flight was to toronto, she kept saying "trntu" over and over.

I've spent most of my life in Virginia. Apparently my accent is southern enough to be identified as southern, but my grammatical inclination is northern. It's funny because I speak with a lot of people from all over the country and they can never quite figure out where I'm from because of the mix. A slight southern draw is proper grammar is a mix most stereotypes don't accept.

However, when I speak to people from Georgia, Mississippi, or Alabama I have a hard time understanding them sometimes. Never had an issue with the Brits though. And even though I used to live in Canada for a few years I still think they sound a little flamboyent.

 
Barakku [TotalFark] 2008-02-17 01:14:53 AM  
thisispete: Hedley Lamarr: My mind is a raging torrent, flooded with rivulets of thought cascading into a waterfall of creative alternatives.
Taggart: God darnit, Mr. Lamarr, you use your tongue prettier than a twenty dollar whore.


www.hlfallout.net

Lamarr?

 
Epsilon [TotalFark] 2008-02-17 01:15:11 AM  
If Britain feels their children can't speak well, they ought to check out the current crop of pitiful American students, and they'll suddenly feel much better.

 
Uncle Karl 2008-02-17 01:18:42 AM  
Dispector: Never had an issue with the Brits though.

My issue is that it sounds like they have marbles in their mouths. The garbled kind of chewed on speech that some of them have is indecipherable to me.

 
thisispete [TotalFark] 2008-02-17 01:19:02 AM  
Uncle Karl: That is southerner speech. Some Americans can speak the language. Unlike the brit I had to deal with at heathrow, it took me a few minutes to realize she was saying my connecting flight was to toronto, she kept saying "trntu" over and over.

That's just accent though. I'm a New Zealander so I shorten my vowels quite a bit too - and we tend to have an upward inflection so our statements can sometimes sound like questions.

Aside from that I find that working in a library you have to be able to convey some quite complex concepts to your patrons. It's the same for a lot of professions - from a mechanic telling you what work needs done on your car to a lawyer explaining the finer points of a contract.

 
SuperDuper28 2008-02-17 01:22:34 AM  
Uncle Karl: 2wolves: "U sbmted ths wf a mur gud hedin"

Ah! You already speak American. How wonderful.

That is southerner speech. Some Americans can speak the language. Unlike the brit I had to deal with at heathrow, it took me a few minutes to realize she was saying my connecting flight was to toronto, she kept saying "trntu" over and over.


Actually, southern speak is closer to old english due to settlers living in locations that cut them off from the civlized world. You could say the rest of the population are the ones speaking a more bastardized version of English.

 
Uncle Karl 2008-02-17 01:23:12 AM  
thisispete: That's just accent though. I'm a New Zealander so I shorten my vowels quite a bit too - and we tend to have an upward inflection so our statements can sometimes sound like questions.

An accent is clipped vowels, or lengthened consonants or something. Just dropping out parts of a word is something else entirely.

/at least to me

 
Gigglecream 2008-02-17 01:26:16 AM  
Maybe the English language is evolving into a more efficient form, and these "national leading exponents of the spoken word" need an excuse to keep their jobs.

 
RedNova 2008-02-17 01:30:50 AM  
How is babby formed
How girl get pragnent

 
Mayhem of the Black Underclass 2008-02-17 01:32:34 AM  
Too be slightly critical the establishment started this by calling the younger generation 'chavs', 'hoodies', and 'yobs'. Proper children speak proper English.

/Also ASBO, aggro, jammy, naff, parky, totty, tickety-boo, uni, welly, bikkie, chippie, etc. etc. You've no one to blame but yourselves.

 
Dispector 2008-02-17 01:34:40 AM  
SuperDuper28: Actually, southern speak is closer to old english due to settlers living in locations that cut them off from the civlized world. You could say the rest of the population are the ones speaking a more bastardized version of English.

Actually, I've heard that the english spoken by people in the Appalachians is the closest grammatical and phonetic form of english spoken today to Shakespearean accent. Fascinating actually... those unculture old English speaking bastards.

 
Uncle Karl 2008-02-17 01:35:50 AM  
Dispector: SuperDuper28: Actually, southern speak is closer to old english due to settlers living in locations that cut them off from the civlized world. You could say the rest of the population are the ones speaking a more bastardized version of English.

Actually, I've heard that the english spoken by people in the Appalachians is the closest grammatical and phonetic form of english spoken today to Shakespearean accent. Fascinating actually... those unculture old English speaking bastards.


I would think the inbreeding might have changed it. What with the brain damage and all.

 
Asura-HiME 2008-02-17 01:40:49 AM  
Oznog: //Is "it's" one syllable or two?

One syllable.

 
SuperDuper28 2008-02-17 01:42:43 AM  
Dispector: SuperDuper28: Actually, southern speak is closer to old english due to settlers living in locations that cut them off from the civlized world. You could say the rest of the population are the ones speaking a more bastardized version of English.

Actually, I've heard that the english spoken by people in the Appalachians is the closest grammatical and phonetic form of english spoken today to Shakespearean accent. Fascinating actually... those unculture old English speaking bastards.


Could be right. Haven't actually researched it but I've vaguely heard about the origins of Southern dialects quite a few times since I was raised in the South myself.

There seems to be a Wiki entry with lots of info but I don't have time to read it at the moment.

Southern American English (new window)

 
Joshie 2008-02-17 01:43:13 AM  
Careful giggles, that's how people in America defend ebonics.

Have to agree tho' that there are some British kids out there who can't wrap their mouths around their own language in the least. To be honest, though, I don't think an American such as myself would ever accomplish anything criticizing British english.

See, it doesn't matter how bad it gets. There's this mindset that goes something like, "We're British, it's our language, no matter how we say it, it's correct, because it's English, and we're English, and that's all there is to it."

It would terrify the Brits if it turned out Americans speak an english closer to what the British spoke 400 years ago than they do now. Not to say that we do...but even if we did, it would just turn into a matter of saying "It's English, we're English, English is what we speak now, and English 400 years ago isn't English anymore because we--the English--no longer speak it."

It's childish and ridiculous. But I guess after losing the empire, naval superiority, and Douglas Adams, they'll cling to whatever they can that lets them feel on top.

Even if it's a bunch of extra U's that english never needed in the first place.

/what's that about, anyway?
//maybe from when the english worshipped the french?
///does honour rhyme with bon jour?

 
I_Can't_Believe_it's_not_Boutros 2008-02-17 01:48:32 AM  
Joshie: Careful giggles, that's how people in America defend ebonics.

Not me. I defend ebonics because I want to see an ebonic Miss America pageant.

I want to see if they can get anyone to be Miss Idaho.

 
thisispete [TotalFark] 2008-02-17 01:51:49 AM  
Joshie: Even if it's a bunch of extra U's that english never needed in the first place.

A Plan for the Improvement of English Spelling
-attributed to Mark Twain or M.J. Shields

For example, in Year 1 that useless letter "c" would be dropped to be replased either by "k" or "s", and likewise "x" would no longer be part of the alphabet. The only kase in which "c" would be retained would be the "ch" formation, which will be dealt with later. Year 2 might reform "w" spelling, so that "which" and "one" would take the same konsonant, wile Year 3 might well abolish "y" replasing it with "i" and Iear 4 might fiks the "g/j" anomali wonse and for all. Jenerally, then, the improvement would kontinue iear bai iear with Iear 5 doing awai with useless double konsonants, and Iears 6-12 or so modifaiing vowlz and the rimeining voist and unvoist konsonants. Bai Iear 15 or sou, it wud fainali bi posibl tu meik ius ov thi ridandant letez "c", "y" and "x" -- bai now jast a memori in the maindz ov ould doderez -- tu riplais "ch", "sh", and "th" rispektivli. Fainali, xen, aafte sam 20 iers ov orxogrefkl riform, wi wud hev a lojikl, kohirnt speling in ius xrewawt xe Ingliy-spiking werld.

 
McWattisdead 2008-02-17 01:53:32 AM  
i250.photobucket.com

Agrees.

/Or disagrees. I couldn't really understand, but I think someone shiat the bed.

 
McWattisdead 2008-02-17 02:02:21 AM  
Dispector: Regarding TFA, I can't stand people like this. The people who just say "Huh?" when they didn't hear what you said. Or the people who only grunt as a response. What the hell is wrong with you? How can one person be so dumb that they think of a more coherent or encompassing response? Farking morans.

Huh?

/Muahahaha

 
Ringshadow 2008-02-17 02:13:38 AM  
D'ya like dags?

 
Dispector 2008-02-17 02:19:02 AM  
McWattisdead: Huh?

/Muahahaha


I see that I have met my archnemesis. Finally, the day has come for the war to begin!

 
Oznog 2008-02-17 02:28:06 AM  
futuramathemovie.info

Don't make me "ax" you again.

 
lytnngseed 2008-02-17 02:28:16 AM  
I can only hope the US would institute a similar policy, so the television-educated would learn to stop using the words "definitely," "actually," "indeed" and "hot" ad nauseum.

 
Andric 2008-02-17 02:36:54 AM  
lytnngseed: I can only hope the US would institute a similar policy, so the television-educated would learn to stop using the words "definitely," "actually," "indeed" and "hot" ad nauseum.

It's actually "ad nauseam".

/grammar nazi thread!

 
Esc7 2008-02-17 02:41:30 AM  
Barakku: Lamarr?

What is hilarious is that this joke has come full circle.

First there was Hedy Lamarr a hot old time actress and inventor of wireless spread spectrum technology, which makes her completely awesome.

So while blazing saddles lampoons her with Hedly Lamarr, Half Life 2's headcrab is also named after Hedy Lamarr, but not because of her acting, but rather because of her advancement of wireless technology.

And now you have connected the two derivations leaving poor old Hedy out of the mix.

/Named my cat after the headcrab
//always amused to see who people think the cat is named after

 
VushtrriBoy 2008-02-17 03:02:02 AM  
Fecking Pikeys.

 
pedanticmofo 2008-02-17 03:09:31 AM  
Or maybe the nanny/welfare state can simply stop creating a market for monosyllabic mumblers by not paying for them to do nothing. But where would the boon to government power be in that.

 
starsrift 2008-02-17 03:16:54 AM  
Dispector: I've spent most of my life in Virginia. Apparently my accent is southern enough to be identified as southern, but my grammatical inclination is northern. It's funny because I speak with a lot of people from all over the country and they can never quite figure out where I'm from because of the mix. A slight southern draw is proper grammar is a mix most stereotypes don't accept.

I LOL'd at the irony.

 
Oznog 2008-02-17 03:26:20 AM  
dawnofthealmostdead.files.wordpress.com

Well, perhaps we should exchange monosyllabic expressions of arrogance in person!

/"Matricidal", "dispatched", "henceforth", "imbecile", "wretched"... as far as vocabulary goes you shall find no grounds for complaints here.

 
yoursweatersux 2008-02-17 04:09:54 AM  
starsrift


I lol'd as well. Good call on that one.

/Some people... jesus
/80% of Americans believe that they're above average intelligence...
//lol

 
punto 2008-02-17 04:39:28 AM  
what? but that's the beauty of english, everything can be expressed in monosyllables, especially technology words, and also "catchy" stuff like titles (for example "star wars" becomes 8 syllables when translated to spanish)

of course we still need a real language for actual meaningful conversations, but for everything else, I don't know what I'd do without it.

 
Sandwyrm 2008-02-17 04:58:18 AM  
Gigglecream: Maybe the English language is evolving into a more efficient form, and these "national leading exponents of the spoken word" need an excuse to keep their jobs.

I doubt people who remove all complexity of description from their statements, generously douse their speech with ummms and aaahs and errrs, and usually require the listener to request further clarification are pioneering spirits aiming to streamline our language.

I think it's mostly a matter of fear, this imprecise way of speaking. People are afraid of being wrong, afraid of being loudly wrong. Well... a mixture of fear and laziness.

 
fanbladesaresharp 2008-02-17 04:58:29 AM  
punto: what? but that's the beauty of english, everything can be expressed in monosyllables, especially technology words, and also "catchy" stuff like titles (for example "star wars" becomes 8 syllables when translated to spanish)

of course we still need a real language for actual meaningful conversations, but for everything else, I don't know what I'd do without it.


Or, in my case, being a "gowddrn leftie westerner" that moved from the west coast US to the "souf"....I laughed my ass off when a CSR at my company was mocking a "Yankie" customer from NY with another coworker over how they pronounced "DOG".

My response? 3 letters.....ONE syllable. BOTH of you. He doesn't speak to me anymore in the hallways.

 
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