Matt?

Bob Ondeeznuts
Matt?

thread over.

If you didn't have shoulders you could never be pinned, right?

In fairness, he looks like he means business.

Damn. I kind of feel bad for his opponents. If you win, everyone will be like, "Nice job, asshat, you just beat up on Stumpy McAppendageless. Way to go, tough guy." And if you lose, it's all, "Ha Ha! That kid beat you with his forehead. You suck." Damned if you do, damned if you don't. And WTF is the coach supposed to tell his guy before sending him to battle this? "Hey, see that guy who's pulling himself onto the mat with his lips? Go kick his ass."

Take Down - 2 points, oh wait...

/ Near Fall - 3 points, oh wait...

I'm kind of surprised more wrestlers aren't shying away from matches with him. Fighting a cripple, even one that can fight back, has got to be kinda of weird.

I'm all for carrying on the illusion that people with handicaps want to be treated normally, but some things just go too far. Golfing with no hands is one thing, man-to-man physical violence is quite another.

And seriously, how is he supposed to perform a UFIA with no hands? This whole thing is madness, I tells ya.

Ah, another opponent to earn Brock Lesnar a cool half a mil!

The first sentence of TFA:

LONDON, Ohio - On what so far was the biggest day of his high school life, Dustin Carter woke up with the flu and all the diarrhea and dehydration that comes with it.

Seriously, WTF?

Thats a good story...I hope more five year old contract blood disorders.

Bob Ondeeznuts: Matt?

WINNER!

If he was in China, they would make him ride horses at the zoo.

Join the swim team and he would be Bob.

What do you call a wrestler with no legs, forearms, or hands? Champ Chum.

FTFY

ne2d: The first sentence of TFA:

LONDON, Ohio - On what so far was the biggest day of his high school life, Dustin Carter woke up with the flu and all the diarrhea and dehydration that comes with it.

Seriously, WTF?

This made no sense in the news story. I don't think his diarrhea was needed to be discussed. It is like "Don't pin him down, he might squirt!"

I wrestled a kid in high school who had some disorder where he was crippled, had to have leg braces and was unable to walk without those crazy crutches that clasp around your arms.

He was strong as a motherfarker, too. I felt bad beating him, but I tried to wrestle him on his own terms (you know, no exploiting the fact that he had basically no lower half). It was as much a mental battle as anything.

/took second in the tournament
//Sorry, Kev.

Hang him up on the wall and he'd be Art.

You say Wrestle..I say Russell

Triaxis: What do you call a wrestler with no legs, forearms, or hands? Champ Chum.

FTFY

winner

I think the guy is winning because other people have to come to terms with Body Horror while wrestling him. He's got a major psychological advantage.

Also, he should totally get some prosthetics.

Reminds me of a one-armed, one-legged girl on our high school debate team. Ilene. She was tough.

If this gives you a warm fuzzy, try this hotlink:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p6cOp6EDFlI

/my bad

That's when a chorus of prayers, skilled doctors and a little boy's spirit combined to make that miracle. Although his limbs were amputated, Dustin survived.

I wonder which part had the biggest effect?

Gimp?

I guess I can be a dick, too.

What do you call a wrestler with no legs, forearms, or hands?
Not to nitpick, doesn't the lack of forearms imply a lack of hands?

"I saw a man with wooden legs and real feet."

Shrinkwrap: I wonder which part had the biggest effect?

Prayer, definitely. The chorus praying has more of an effect than individuals prayers praying out of tune. It's a scientific fact that God is not tone deaf, to the dismay of Johnny.

Fool_Marquis: I think the guy is winning because other people have to come to terms with Body Horror while wrestling him. He's got a major psychological advantage.

That, plus he's wrestling in a lower weight class than he would be in based on torso size... Figure if he had legs and arms, he'd probably be around 180 instead of 103.

I like that they specified he has no hands AND no forearms. Unlike all those people with hands but missing forearms. Like Rayman.

Bob Ondeeznuts: Matt?

DAMN! I was going to say, "love seat".

As a former wrestler:

going up against this guy is a no-win situation.

You can hardly claim it is not fair, but wrestling is all about weight distribution. 90% of getting under your opponent and applying leverage. How do you get under this guy?

How do you get a takedown? He's already down. Basically, you have run around behind him.

What do you attack? Arm drag? Nope. Single leg takedown? Nope. How do you turn him? Arm bar? Nope.

And horrible though it sounds, this guy is a very compact 103 pounds. Your average 103-pounder is pretty splindy. He ain't moving this brick.

I'm not saying he shouldn't do it, but it shouldn't be all that surprising he does well.

What do you call a wrestler with no legs, forearms, or hands?

"the Hillsboro High senior captain found a bottle of Imodium in the medicine chest, didn't read the warnings and wolfed down three times the prescribed dosage."

a drug abuser?

I suppose this would be a bad time for me to talk about how bad this headcold feels,...

bonecows: SUPER DRAGON! CLAP CLAP CLAP-CLAP-CLAP!

/got nuthing

THIS IS AWESOME! CLAP! CLAP! CLAP-CLAP-CLAP!

the son of the black knight
does he taunt his opponents?


It's just a flesh wound!

/i'd like an exit seat please

GoldenMetalRaven

Stop reading my thoughts

There is actually another fighting torso out there too, I saw him compete in NAGA in '05 it was really pretty cool, I heard the guy also held some kind of record for most bench press reps at 250 lbs or something. Overcoming adversity kicks ass.

BizarreRecords: Bob Ondeeznuts
Matt?

thread over.

Yes, but it would have been better if he had modified the storied joke and used Wrestling Matt.

EvelFarknievel: In fairness, he looks like he means business.





In fairness, he gives me flashbacks to Poltergeist II

Well what the fark do you call a wrestler with hands but no forearms?

I'd call him farker.

That's like asking:

"What do you call Mike Tyson with no arms or legs?"

"attractive and successful African-American, attractive and successful African-American, attractive and successful African-American."

/I know the filter will get me on this, but you get the point.

I call him a sitting duck.

I detest this prejudicial treatment of physical amputees as successful athletes in the news. Where are all the articles about lobotomy patients who go on to become physicists?

moothemagiccow: Well what the fark do you call a wrestler with hands but no forearms?

Thing?

moothemagiccow: Well what the fark do you call a wrestler with hands but no forearms?

Maybe they grafted them back onto his elbows.

Stupid Floppy Clownshoes: Hang him up on the wall and he'd be Art.

Unless he's in the bathroom, then he'd be called John.

This thread is full of win.

The article, however, is not.