...advises rigorous sex to stave off heart disease and cancer

Finally, I have proof that the wife wants me dead.

Endorphins released during orgasm stimulate immune system cells, which also helps target illnesses like cancer, as well as wrinkles, it states.

shiat, I should be able to drink an aids martini with a splash of mad cow and not get the sniffles.

/fap

'Sexercise' yourself

Can do.

No wonder I'm in such ill health right now.

You can do it!

Does excessive fapping count?

/On no the Paulista's will never Die.

Try explaining THAT prescription to the chemist.

"Sex can cure anything... If it doesn't kill you first."



Or so we used to say.

enterprise213: ...advises rigorous sex to stave off heart disease and cancer

Finally, I have proof that the wife wants me dead.

Win.

enterprise213: ...advises rigorous sex to stave off heart disease and cancer

Finally, I have proof that the wife wants me dead.

Husband and wife are at the doctor's, as the husband is desperately ill. The tests are performed and the doctor privately consults with the wife to tell her the results.

"Your husband's condition is grave, but he can be cured," the doctor tells her.

"What do I have to do?" asks the wife.

"First, you have to be sure he eats properly, by fixing him three square meals a day. Second, you have to make sure he lives in a relatively stress free environment. Third, and this is the most important, you have to have sex with him at least three times a week. If you don't, his outlook is most certainly terminal."

The wife thanks the doctor and leaves the office to rejoin her husband.

"So, what did the doctor say?" the husband asks.

"That you're gonna die."

/oldie
//oblig

Does excessive fapping count?

I read that you release 400X more endorphins during sex. Which is why I try to fap 400X a day.

/Keeps the doctor away.

I'd rather have it vigorous than rigorous. I hate feeling like I have to meet a quota.

holy crap. i'm immortal.

Also "6 year old virgins can cure AIDS".

medius: Which is why I try to fap 400X a day.

you must own stock in Jergens.

LegacyDL: Also "6 year old virgins can cure AIDS".

and boredom and feelings of inadequacy.

I "beat" cancer?

Dragynwing: LegacyDL: Also "6 year old virgins can cure AIDS".

and boredom and feelings of inadequacy.

Let's face it, there's not much a 6 year-old-virgin can't sure.

This is Britain we're talking about. With the looks of their women and lovemaking skills of their men, they are in danger of extinction, so they have to make sex sound as good as possible to the reading-capable part of the population.

Kome: Let's face it, there's not much a 6 year-old-virgin can't sure.

run fast.

Dragynwing: Kome: Let's face it, there's not much a 6 year-old-virgin can't sure.

run fast.

Eh, probably woulda been funnier if i spelled "cure" correctly.

Herein lies the biggest difference between England and the US. If the US government released a report about sex and health it would read more like this:

"A recent study by the Surgeon General indicates conclusively that all sex for any purpose other than intentional procreation is immoral, devious, and forbidden by God. If you have sex, you will die. Semen not only causes herpes and AIDS, but also cancer, acne, and unibrows. All patriotic God-fearing Americans are stronly urged to remain abstinent until they decide to have children, and then to immediately become abstinent again after conception and remain so for the remainder of their lives. When sexual urges (cuased by demons) haunt you, a cold shower or viewing nude photos of Roseanne Barr will help you defeat the demons."

Kome: Eh, probably woulda been funnier if i spelled "cure" correctly.

i'm not picky.

medius: Does excessive fapping count?

I read that you release 400X more endorphins during sex. Which is why I try to fap 400X a day.

/Keeps the doctor away.

It's probably keeping everybody away.

I love these studies that show that having a great sex life or being married are conducive to good health. As though things like that are something you have a lot of control over.

They might just as well say that having blue eyes or being left-handed is beneficial to your health.

TastyEloi: I love these studies that show that having a great sex life or being married are conducive to good health. As though things like that are something you have a lot of control over.

They might just as well say that having blue eyes or being left-handed is beneficial to your health.

You don't have control over your own sex life? Are you in PMITA prison?

I guess this means that prostitutes are the new overpriced exercise machines.

SweetSilverBlues: TastyEloi: I love these studies that show that having a great sex life or being married are conducive to good health. As though things like that are something you have a lot of control over.

They might just as well say that having blue eyes or being left-handed is beneficial to your health.

You don't have control over your own sex life? Are you in PMITA prison?

Nah, he's just ugly and poor.

Kome: SweetSilverBlues: TastyEloi: I love these studies that show that having a great sex life or being married are conducive to good health. As though things like that are something you have a lot of control over.

They might just as well say that having blue eyes or being left-handed is beneficial to your health.

You don't have control over your own sex life? Are you in PMITA prison?

Nah, he's just ugly and poor.

Ah, gotcha. Course, I don't have control over mine, either. I'm married.

/I keed.

enterprise213: ...advises rigorous sex to stave off heart disease and cancer

Finally, I have proof that the wife wants me dead.

Yeah, game over. We have a winner...

/ XD

SweetSilverBlues

You don't have control over your own sex life? Are you in PMITA prison?

I think the only people with complete control over their sex lives are rapists...

hawk90013: I guess this means that prostitutes are the new overpriced exercise machines.

We have one in the corner of our bedroom. At first we rode her 4-5 nights a week, but now we just use her to drape our dirty clothes on.

Kome:

Nah, he's just ugly and poor.

Actually, that's pretty much it. So, no, I don't really have all that much control over my sex life.

So that's what they've been doing with all those CCTV cameras everywhere.

I've unwittingly been the control group for an NHS study.

[cough] [sneeze]

Approves!
/Onslow unavailable for comment.

TastyEloi: Kome:

Nah, he's just ugly and poor.

Actually, that's pretty much it. So, no, I don't really have all that much control over my sex life.

S'ok dude, I'm in the same boat as you. Ugly and poor.

So will the Nanny State (tm) be introducing compulsory sex sessions ?

My nanny State did!

My Stan E. Nate did!

jamspoon: So will the Nanny State (tm) be introducing compulsory sex sessions ?

And this thread was going so well.

MyNameIsMofuga-

I lol'd

subby is a moron!

farking a lot DOES keep you healthy

prjindigo: farking a lot DOES keep you healthy

I agree. It's a great stress reliever. GF was having a really bad day at work yesterday...I went to give her a hug, boom. We're in the server room going at it like rabbits.

I don’t always listen to this type of med. Advice but the why take the chance.

What if it's just normal sex?

What if it's just normal sex?

if you're not rehanging pictures afterwards then you're not getting the full benefit

Sexual health experts said such claims could not be scientifically proven.

Piss off, killjoys.

This is what socialized medicine gets you.

castufari I agree. It's a great stress reliever. GF was having a really bad day at work yesterday...I went to give her a hug, boom. We're in the server room going at it like rabbits.

I find cubicle desks the right height for the deed, though my GF complains the desks are too cold, well at least for the first few minutes.

// Conference rooms for 3-ways?
// Inter-office seduction?

In other news, the NHS announced today that it is no longer going to provide routine health care, and that people should remain healthy by having sex instead of seeing a doctor.

Also that people who regularly have sex are now going to be denied urogenital and OB/GYN services, "Because they are just going to get VD or pregnant again."